From rhoskins@home.com Sun Aug 15 12:20:09 1999
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From: "Richard E. Hoskins" <rhoskins@home.com>
To: <waphgis@u.washington.edu>
Cc: "Marvin Cornell" <MCorn1045@aol.com>
Subject: WAPHGIS: only in the USA
Date: Sun, 15 Aug 1999 12:19:43 -0700
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OK, folks (see below) ... here are some summer laughs. Time to lighten up.
Likely you are sick of the kids and can't wait for school to start, these
will ease the passage until September. (apologies to those in the S
hemisphere - you can send them back to us in February) non-Americans may
like these more than Americans. Could we have some "Only in Australia"
jokes? etc... non-Americans may find it hard to believe that every one of
these is true.

Thanks to Marv in Florida.

Richard E. Hoskins
rhoskins@home.com

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Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating
rink.

Only in America do we award someone $3,000,000 for spilling hot coffee
in their own lap.

Only in America do we have labels on baby strollers to remind people to
remove the baby before folding up the stroller.

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back
of the store to get their prescriptions.

Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
diet coke

Only in America do banks leave all the doors open and then chain the
pens to the counters.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and leave useless junk in the garage.

Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we don't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.

Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of 10 and buns in
packages of eight.

Only in America do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so
well:  "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking
creatures."

Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.

.