From killianra@yahoo.com Sun Sep 30 19:53:54 2001
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Date: Sun, 30 Sep 2001 19:53:51 -0700 (PDT)
From: Killian Roger <killianra@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: The very model
To: classics@u.washington.edu
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And yet another parody that might be appropriate for
this lift from G&S's immortal satire:



I am the very model of a Humanist-Historian, 
The total scope of scholarship is something that I
glory in. 
I ride the range of history and set the law for lesser
men, 
Of true Kulturgeschichte I'm the sole surviving
specimen. 
To one with my capacious mind the Greeks present no
mysteries - 
Without a pause I explicate their problematic
histories. 
I straighten out the errors of that amateur
Thucydides, 
And split the finest hairs explaining philosophic
quiddities. 

I'm pleased to rescue Pericles in matters
constitutional, 
And then surpass Demosthenes in manner elocutional. 
In poetry I clarify the Attic from the Dorian - 
I am the very model of a Humanist-Historian. 



The sophomores I entertain with stories of the Old
Regime, 
I bring its glories back to life as if in some
nostalgic dream. 
I dote on the aristocrats, and savour their douceur de
vivre - 
Their "decent drapery of life" is something only I can
weave. 
I second-guess philosophers with criticism textual; 
My lecture's laced with anecdotes appropriately
sexual. 
Around it all I weave a web of scholarly embroidery --

When all else fails, psychologize with subtle
Sigmund-Freudery. 

If Gladstone and Disraeli had my wisdom magisterial, 
Britannia could have waived the rules and saved her
jewels imperial. 
I miss those days which I could choose to be a Whig or
Tory in - 
I am the very model of a Humanist-Historian. 




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