From cheilman@u.washington.edu Tue Feb 3 10:43:00 1998 Received: from jason02.u.washington.edu (root@jason02.u.washington.edu [140.142.76.8]) by lists.u.washington.edu (8.8.4+UW97.07/8.8.4+UW97.05) with ESMTP id KAA29314 for ; Tue, 3 Feb 1998 10:42:59 -0800 Received: from dante23.u.washington.edu (cheilman@dante23.u.washington.edu [140.142.15.73]) by jason02.u.washington.edu (8.8.4+UW97.07/8.8.4+UW97.05) with ESMTP id KAA24526; Tue, 3 Feb 1998 10:42:58 -0800 Received: from localhost (cheilman@localhost) by dante23.u.washington.edu (8.8.4+UW97.07/8.8.4+UW97.04) with SMTP id KAA44284; Tue, 3 Feb 1998 10:42:57 -0800 Date: Tue, 3 Feb 1998 10:42:56 -0800 (PST) From: "C. Heilman" To: Ed Erickson , Patty-Wack McKeehan cc: Brandi Caffrey , kaorder@u.washington.edu Subject: Finally an honest translation (fwd) Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII ---------- Forwarded message ---------- WOMEN'S ENGLISH Yes = No. No = Yes. Maybe = No. I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain. Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is s e x all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. The answer to "What's wrong?": The same old thing = Nothing. Nothing = Everything. Everything = My P M S is acting up. Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an a s s h o l e. Men's English "I'm hungry." = I'm hungry. "I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy. "I'm tired." = I'm tired. "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have s e x with you. "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have s e x with you. "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have s e x with you. "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have s e x with you. "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you. "What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this. "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? "What's wrong?" = I guess s e x tonight is out of the question. "I'm bored." = Do you want to have s e x? "I love you." = Let's have s e x now. "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have s e x now! "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before. "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have s e x with me. "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have s e x with other guys. (while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! .