Opening Sentences for my
                      Next 26 Novels


by


Don Webb

1. And it happened again, almost exactly as before.
2. Before the coming of the sons of Arras, Onan the
Mastubarbarian came.
3. Came the savages in their hundreds, slaying first
our captain and then our doctor.
4. Doctor Wu signed the order that began the
planet-wide extermination.
5. "Extermination?" cried Hajiz, "No I will exterminate
the Turks first!"
6.  First there was silence, then much later, the
furious sound of ideas sleeping green.
7.  Green Berets nervously surrounded the great Sphinx
-- statue of Horus of the Horizons.
8.  
Horizons
 had rejected my article on the effect of
Mansard roofs on the energized psyche, calling me an
"idiot."
9.  "Idiot," Midnight Charles would make them eat that
word as sure as Godzilla had eaten Japan. 
10.  Japan is where we begin our tale of yes and Noh,
of cabbages and kings.
11.  Kings to the left of him, bishops to the right,
and somewhere far across the chessboard the queen he loved.
12.  "Loved me? I suppose Edward loved me in his stupid
idiot way." Elsie laughed as she spread her toast with
marmalade.
13.  Marmalade was the only sweet you could get with a
ration stamp -- I taste marmalade whenever I read the
letters WW II now.
14.  Now is the time for all good robots to come to the
aide of the office.
15.  
Office, the Oval office, just two bullets and I
will be President.

16. President Callahan looked at the  button -- one
loud noise then everything eternally blissfully quiet. 
17. Quiet for seventeen years, the speaker crackled and
the UN nervously waited to hear the words of the alien
robot.
18. "Robot -- that's all he wanted, that's all any man
wants," Glinda said.
19. Said the twiggle, "Beware the wiggle and watch out
for the toggle."
20. Toggle switches 1, 3, and 4 and the Ronco Deluxe
Time Machine is ready for use.
21. "Use only as needed," Vince read the pill bottle
and then swallowed all of them laughing viciously.
22. Viciously Sue Gaspar, the mad interior decorator,
filled the den with warm mud and began to wallow.
23. "'Wallow in Self-Pity No More' sounds like a good
service for me," said Xerxes.
24. Xerxes was dismayed at the limits of his empire; he
had failed to conquer the number twenty-five, the concept of
evolution, or the color yellow.
25. Yellow signs chalked on the sidewalk revealed that
they had once again found Zeke.
26. Zeke raised his baton and spoke to the band, "A one
and..."

.