Subj : Romans Go Home To : alt.ham-radio.vhf-uhf,rec.radio.amateur.antenna,rec.radio.amateur.dx,rec.radio.amateur.equipment,rec.radio.amateur.policy From : N2EY Date : Sat Sep 24 2005 14:05:27 From Newsgroup: alt.ham-radio.vhf-uhf Richard Clark wrote: > On 24 Sep 2005 07:36:42 -0700, N2EY@AOL.COM wrote: > >http://tinyurl.com/cd6h6 > >73 de Jim, N2EY > > Hi Jim, > > Thanx, and a tip of the hat for directing me > to the authority in logic > with regard to arguing who's an atheist (re: current > correspondence) > that is so aptly aped at your link with: > > >FRANCIS: > > Why are you always on about women, Stan? > >STAN: > > I want to be one. Greetings! If you liked that bit, and if you ever studied Latin, this bit may interest you: -- CENTURION: What's this, then? 'Romanes Eunt Domus'? 'People called Romans they go the house'? BRIAN (terrified, having just been caught writing graffiti on the Roman palace wall): It-- it says, 'Romans, go home'. CENTURION (puzzled): No, it doesn't. What's Latin for 'Roman'? Come on! BRIAN: Aah! CENTURION (grabs Brian, holds him in a headlock): Come on! BRIAN: 'R-- Romanus'? CENTURION: Goes like...? BRIAN: 'Annus'? CENTURION: Vocative plural of 'annus' is...? BRIAN: Eh. 'Anni'? CENTURION: 'Romani'. 'Eunt'? What is 'eunt'? BRIAN: 'Go'. Let-- CENTURION (twists Brian's arm): Conjugate the verb 'to go'! BRIAN: Uh. 'Ire'. Uh, 'eo'. 'Is'. 'It'. 'Imus'. 'Itis'. 'Eunt'. CENTURION: So 'eunt' is...? BRIAN: Ah, huh, third person plural, uh, present indicative. Uh, 'they go'. CENTURION: But 'Romans, go home' is an order, so you must use the...? BRIAN: The... imperative! CENTURION: Which is...? BRIAN: Umm! Oh. Oh. Um, 'i'. 'I'! CENTURION (draws short sword, holds to Brian's throat): How many Romans!? BRIAN: Ah! 'I'-- Plural. Plural. 'Ite'. 'Ite'. CENTURION: 'Ite'. BRIAN: Ah. Eh. CENTURION: 'Domus'? BRIAN: Eh. CENTURION: Nominative? BRIAN: Oh. CENTURION (continuing to threaten): 'Go home'? This is motion towards. Isn't it, boy? BRIAN: Ah. Ah, dative, sir! Ahh! No, not dative! Not the dative, sir! No! Ah! Oh, the... accusative! Accusative! Ah! 'Domum', sir! 'Ad domum'! Ah! Oooh! Ah! CENTURION: Except that 'domus' takes the...? BRIAN: The locative, sir! CENTURION: Which is...?! BRIAN: 'Domum'. CENTURION: 'Domum'. BRIAN: Aaah! Ah. CENTURION: 'Um'. Understand? BRIAN: Yes, sir. CENTURION: Now, write it out a hundred times. BRIAN: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir. CENTURION: Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off. --- Or maybe you prefer this one: -- REG: And what have they ever given us in return?! XERXES: The aqueduct? REG: What? XERXES: The aqueduct. REG: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah. COMMANDO #3: And the sanitation. LORETTA: Oh, yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like? REG: Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done. MATTHIAS: And the roads. REG: Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don't they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads-- COMMANDO: Irrigation. XERXES: Medicine. COMMANDOS: Huh? Heh? Huh... COMMANDO #2: Education. COMMANDOS: Ohh... REG: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough. COMMANDO #1: And the wine. COMMANDOS: Oh, yes. Yeah... FRANCIS: Yeah. Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. Huh. COMMANDO: Public baths. LORETTA: And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg. FRANCIS: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the only ones who could in a place like this. COMMANDOS: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. REG: All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us? XERXES: Brought peace. REG: Oh. Peace? Shut up! [bam bam bam bam bam bam bam] [bam bam bam bam bam] --- But for sheer force of irrefutable argument, you can't beat Douglas Adams' piece about the Babelfish as proof of the nonexistence of God, as quoted from Oolon Collophid's book. OTOH you may say it's all just a load of dingo's kidneys. 73 de Jim, N2EY .