Subj : {HUMOR} - Additions to the Prime Directive
To   : alt.startrek,alt.tv.star-trek,alt.tv.star-trek.enterprise,rec.arts.startrek
From : Stan Jensen
Date : Fri Sep 30 2005 11:27:19

From Newsgroup: alt.tv.star-trek.enterprise

 Throughout the "Trek" universe, we always hear about the "Prime
Directive," which prohibits tampering or interference with
less-advanced cultures, either accidentally or intentionally. We
thought there should be some additions.


 The Top 10 Additions to the Prime Directive


10> In situations in which a primitive civilization is in peril from
outside forces, the Prime Directive may be replaced by any directive
divisible only by itself, 1 and 23.

 9> First contact with any civilization consisting of scantily clad
hotties must be left to trained professionals like starship captains
and, um, Internet Geeks.

 8> The Macarena, the Hokey Pokey and the Charleston may not be
introduced to any primitive culture.

 7> At all costs, stop all universal equivalents of "The Jerry
Springer Show."

 6> Corollary 1 to the Prime Directive: ... unless it advances the
plot.

5> If a world is advanced enough to send penis enlargement offers over
sub-space, by all means nuke the suckers.

4> Starfleet Officers must, however, take all actions possible to
prevent any world from developing Giant Foam Hand technology.

3> Interfering with native governments and cultures is OK if you are
Captain George Bush.

2> No Star Fleet personnel may tell the guys in the red shirts what
typically happens to them planetside.

 and the Number 1 Addition to the Prime Directive...

1> "Scotty! Beam me up, I just saved a bunch of money on my starship
insurance!"

.