Subj : Re: Are you ready for some American football? To : alt.tv.farscape From : Jim Larson Date : Fri Sep 09 2005 03:31:38 From Newsgroup: alt.tv.farscape weirdwolf wrote: > Nick wrote in news:Xns96CBD0F72A3CBndtcm@ > 68.1.17.6: > >> weirdwolf wrote: >> >>> Nick wrote in >>> news:Xns96CBCF2D79A58ndtcm@ 68.1.17.6: >>> >>>> weirdwolf wrote: >>>> >>>>> Nick wrote in >>>>> news:Xns96CBCC881C93Endtcm@ 68.1.17.6: >>>>> >>>>>> The season starts today. >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> Dammit, I was hoping I could get a free local radio feed like >>>>> with the hockey. Stupid greedy franchises. >>>>> Ted >>>>> >>>> >>>> None at all? That surprises me. >>> >>> I looked at the NFL website and it says there is a charge. The >>> thing is that there is a tiny market for American football in the >>> UK, a couple of matches are broadcast a week on channel 5 a >>> station that doesn't even have coverage of the whole of the uk. >>> Ted >>> >> >> Bastards. That reminds me. Did I post this here? >> >> Dear TO, >> All I want is for the Eagles to win the Super Bowl. Before you came, >> the Eagles couldnAt even get to the Super Bowl. Then you came, and we >> were the best Eagles team I had ever seen. We got to the Super Bowl >> and almost won. You were awesome! I decided that with just a little >> more practice this year, we could win it all. >> >> But then my dad told me that you might not be on the team anymore. I >> was really upset and cried. Then I watched the news and saw that you >> were crying too! This made me cry even more! You said you needed to >> feed your family. I asked my mom if maybe we could help feed your >> family so that you would stop crying and help us win the Super Bowl. >> My mom told me that the Eagles gave you over 9 million dollars last >> year and that you can afford to buy your own food. I told her that >> you were crying and maybe you had spent it all already. She told me >> you were going to get 3 million more dollars this year. I asked her >> how much a hot dog costs. ThatAs my favorite food! She told me they >> were 25 cents unless you buy them from the Eagles in which case they >> cost 5 dollars. I asked if she thought you could afford to buy enough >> hot dogs to feed your family and she said oOh yeaho, but not in a >> normal way, she said oOh yeaho in the way she says it when I ask her >> if I have to go to school or take a bath. I hate baths! I asked her >> how many hot dogs you could buy and she told me to figure it out >> myself. I had to get my calculator to do it and the answer was 12 >> million hot dogs! ThatAs a lot of hot dogs! But then I was thinking >> maybe you buy your hot dogs from the Eagles in which case they cost 5 >> dollars. So then I was thinking maybe you had more than 12 million >> people in your family. Do you? We have 4. 5 if you count my turtle. >> His name is Donovan McTurtle. >> >> Then I saw you doing sit-ups in front of a mall. My dad told me that >> it was your house. So I asked my dad if 12 million people could fit >> in that house and he said oprobablyo. ThatAs when I realized that >> Eagles were being selfish and that the Eagles need to give you more >> money so that you can feed your entire family. And maybe they should >> make their hot dogs cheaper too. I thought this would help other >> people too because sometimes I eat a hot dog when my dad takes me to >> see you play. >> >> But then I decided that maybe I could just start saving my hot dogs >> for you and that way I could help you feed all 12 million people in >> your family. So the other night when my mom made hot dogs, I sneaked >> 2 halves up to my room and put them in a drawer. But then I realized >> it would take me a very very very very very long time to have 12 >> million hot dogs and so I needed to get other people to help. So then >> I went around my neighborhood and asked people for hot dogs for you. >> But I got tired of telling them the whole story so I came up with a >> slogan that I thought might help everyone understand the situation. >> Then I tried to put the slogan on a shirt. At first the slogan was >> oFor You T.O.o but I didnAt have enuff room for all of that so I just >> took the first letter of the oForo and just made the "You" a oUo, >> which is funny because thatAs the way I always used to think it was >> spelled! So now my shirt says F.U.T.O! >> >> I showed my dad the shirt and he laffed. He said it really got the >> message across. He said he knew lots of people that would wear that >> shirt. So that gave me another idea which was to try to sell the >> shirt itself! Which was a great idea because then I could just give >> the money to you to buy hot dogs for your humongous starving family >> that lives in a mall. >> >> All for you TO! >> >> F.U.T.O! >> Yours Truly, >> Jeremy > > Bwahaha that is great. My team Birmingham last season had a player sworre > blind he didn't want to break his contract and leave our club. But then > decided he did, but it wasn't about the money oh no, perish the thought, > he wanted to be closer to his parents home in Wales. They were ill and he > was a good son, he didn't want to leave the team at which he had learnt > so much and was loved by the fans, of course not but he had to so he > could be closer to his family. He signed on better wages to Blackburn, > now which club do you think is closer to his house in sheep shagging > land, Blackburn or Birmingham? So fuck off "Lilly" Savage and enjoy > trying to catch anthrax from your wooly love buddy. So, if I'm reading this right, you are not at all bitter about the decision... -- Jim .