Subj : Re: Are you ready for some American football? To : alt.tv.farscape From : Jim Larson Date : Fri Sep 09 2005 03:30:19 From Newsgroup: alt.tv.farscape Nick wrote: > Nick wrote: > >> Jim Larson wrote: >> >>> Nick wrote: >>> >>>> weirdwolf wrote: >>>> >>>>> Nick wrote in >>>>> news:Xns96CBCF2D79A58ndtcm@ 68.1.17.6: >>>>> >>>>>> weirdwolf wrote: >>>>>> >>>>>>> Nick wrote in >>>>>>> news:Xns96CBCC881C93Endtcm@ 68.1.17.6: >>>>>>> >>>>>>>> The season starts today. >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>> Dammit, I was hoping I could get a free local radio feed like >>>>>>> with the hockey. Stupid greedy franchises. >>>>>>> Ted >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> None at all? That surprises me. >>>>> >>>>> I looked at the NFL website and it says there is a charge. The >>>>> thing is that there is a tiny market for American football in >>>>> the UK, a couple of matches are broadcast a week on channel 5 a >>>>> station that doesn't even have coverage of the whole of the uk. >>>>> Ted >>>>> >>>> >>>> Bastards. That reminds me. Did I post this here? >>>> >>>> Dear TO, >>>> All I want is for the Eagles to win the Super Bowl. Before you >>>> came, the Eagles couldnAt even get to the Super Bowl. Then you >>>> came, and we were the best Eagles team I had ever seen. We got to >>>> the Super Bowl and almost won. You were awesome! I decided that >>>> with just a little more practice this year, we could win it all. >>>> >>>> But then my dad told me that you might not be on the team >>>> anymore. I was really upset and cried. Then I watched the news >>>> and saw that you were crying too! This made me cry even more! You >>>> said you needed to feed your family. I asked my mom if maybe we >>>> could help feed your family so that you would stop crying and >>>> help us win the Super Bowl. My mom told me that the Eagles gave >>>> you over 9 million dollars last year and that you can afford to >>>> buy your own food. I told her that you were crying and maybe you >>>> had spent it all already. She told me you were going to get 3 >>>> million more dollars this year. I asked her how much a hot dog >>>> costs. ThatAs my favorite food! She told me they were 25 cents >>>> unless you buy them from the Eagles in which case they cost 5 >>>> dollars. I asked if she thought you could afford to buy enough >>>> hot dogs to feed your family and she said oOh yeaho, but not in a >>>> normal way, she said oOh yeaho in the way she says it when I ask >>>> her if I have to go to school or take a bath. I hate baths! I >>>> asked her how many hot dogs you could buy and she told me to >>>> figure it out myself. I had to get my calculator to do it and the >>>> answer was 12 million hot dogs! ThatAs a lot of hot dogs! But >>>> then I was thinking maybe you buy your hot dogs from the Eagles >>>> in which case they cost 5 dollars. So then I was thinking maybe >>>> you had more than 12 million people in your family. Do you? We >>>> have 4. 5 if you count my turtle. His name is Donovan McTurtle. >>>> >>>> Then I saw you doing sit-ups in front of a mall. My dad told me >>>> that it was your house. So I asked my dad if 12 million people >>>> could fit in that house and he said oprobablyo. ThatAs when I >>>> realized that Eagles were being selfish and that the Eagles need >>>> to give you more money so that you can feed your entire family. >>>> And maybe they should make their hot dogs cheaper too. I thought >>>> this would help other people too because sometimes I eat a hot >>>> dog when my dad takes me to see you play. >>>> >>>> But then I decided that maybe I could just start saving my hot >>>> dogs for you and that way I could help you feed all 12 million >>>> people in your family. So the other night when my mom made hot >>>> dogs, I sneaked 2 halves up to my room and put them in a drawer. >>>> But then I realized it would take me a very very very very very >>>> long time to have 12 million hot dogs and so I needed to get >>>> other people to help. So then I went around my neighborhood and >>>> asked people for hot dogs for you. But I got tired of telling >>>> them the whole story so I came up with a slogan that I thought >>>> might help everyone understand the situation. Then I tried to put >>>> the slogan on a shirt. At first the slogan was oFor You T.O.o but >>>> I didnAt have enuff room for all of that so I just took the first >>>> letter of the oForo and just made the "You" a oUo, which is funny >>>> because thatAs the way I always used to think it was spelled! So >>>> now my shirt says F.U.T.O! >>>> >>>> I showed my dad the shirt and he laffed. He said it really got >>>> the message across. He said he knew lots of people that would >>>> wear that shirt. So that gave me another idea which was to try to >>>> sell the shirt itself! Which was a great idea because then I >>>> could just give the money to you to buy hot dogs for your >>>> humongous starving family that lives in a mall. >>>> >>>> All for you TO! >>>> >>>> F.U.T.O! >>>> Yours Truly, >>>> Jeremy >>>> >>> >>> (Er...who is T.O.?) >>> >> >> (Terrell Owens) > > (And you say you are from Philly) > (So these "Eagles" are some sort of Philadelphia institution are they?) -- Jim .