Subj : Re: Are you ready for some American football? To : alt.tv.farscape From : Nick Date : Fri Sep 09 2005 02:43:27 From Newsgroup: alt.tv.farscape Nick wrote: > Jim Larson wrote: > >> Nick wrote: >> >>> weirdwolf wrote: >>> >>>> Nick wrote in >>>> news:Xns96CBCF2D79A58ndtcm@ 68.1.17.6: >>>> >>>>> weirdwolf wrote: >>>>> >>>>>> Nick wrote in >>>>>> news:Xns96CBCC881C93Endtcm@ 68.1.17.6: >>>>>> >>>>>>> The season starts today. >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> Dammit, I was hoping I could get a free local radio feed like >>>>>> with the hockey. Stupid greedy franchises. >>>>>> Ted >>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> None at all? That surprises me. >>>> >>>> I looked at the NFL website and it says there is a charge. The >>>> thing is that there is a tiny market for American football in >>>> the UK, a couple of matches are broadcast a week on channel 5 a >>>> station that doesn't even have coverage of the whole of the uk. >>>> Ted >>>> >>> >>> Bastards. That reminds me. Did I post this here? >>> >>> Dear TO, >>> All I want is for the Eagles to win the Super Bowl. Before you >>> came, the Eagles couldnAt even get to the Super Bowl. Then you >>> came, and we were the best Eagles team I had ever seen. We got to >>> the Super Bowl and almost won. You were awesome! I decided that >>> with just a little more practice this year, we could win it all. >>> >>> But then my dad told me that you might not be on the team >>> anymore. I was really upset and cried. Then I watched the news >>> and saw that you were crying too! This made me cry even more! You >>> said you needed to feed your family. I asked my mom if maybe we >>> could help feed your family so that you would stop crying and >>> help us win the Super Bowl. My mom told me that the Eagles gave >>> you over 9 million dollars last year and that you can afford to >>> buy your own food. I told her that you were crying and maybe you >>> had spent it all already. She told me you were going to get 3 >>> million more dollars this year. I asked her how much a hot dog >>> costs. ThatAs my favorite food! She told me they were 25 cents >>> unless you buy them from the Eagles in which case they cost 5 >>> dollars. I asked if she thought you could afford to buy enough >>> hot dogs to feed your family and she said oOh yeaho, but not in a >>> normal way, she said oOh yeaho in the way she says it when I ask >>> her if I have to go to school or take a bath. I hate baths! I >>> asked her how many hot dogs you could buy and she told me to >>> figure it out myself. I had to get my calculator to do it and the >>> answer was 12 million hot dogs! ThatAs a lot of hot dogs! But >>> then I was thinking maybe you buy your hot dogs from the Eagles >>> in which case they cost 5 dollars. So then I was thinking maybe >>> you had more than 12 million people in your family. Do you? We >>> have 4. 5 if you count my turtle. His name is Donovan McTurtle. >>> >>> Then I saw you doing sit-ups in front of a mall. My dad told me >>> that it was your house. So I asked my dad if 12 million people >>> could fit in that house and he said oprobablyo. ThatAs when I >>> realized that Eagles were being selfish and that the Eagles need >>> to give you more money so that you can feed your entire family. >>> And maybe they should make their hot dogs cheaper too. I thought >>> this would help other people too because sometimes I eat a hot >>> dog when my dad takes me to see you play. >>> >>> But then I decided that maybe I could just start saving my hot >>> dogs for you and that way I could help you feed all 12 million >>> people in your family. So the other night when my mom made hot >>> dogs, I sneaked 2 halves up to my room and put them in a drawer. >>> But then I realized it would take me a very very very very very >>> long time to have 12 million hot dogs and so I needed to get >>> other people to help. So then I went around my neighborhood and >>> asked people for hot dogs for you. But I got tired of telling >>> them the whole story so I came up with a slogan that I thought >>> might help everyone understand the situation. Then I tried to put >>> the slogan on a shirt. At first the slogan was oFor You T.O.o but >>> I didnAt have enuff room for all of that so I just took the first >>> letter of the oForo and just made the "You" a oUo, which is funny >>> because thatAs the way I always used to think it was spelled! So >>> now my shirt says F.U.T.O! >>> >>> I showed my dad the shirt and he laffed. He said it really got >>> the message across. He said he knew lots of people that would >>> wear that shirt. So that gave me another idea which was to try to >>> sell the shirt itself! Which was a great idea because then I >>> could just give the money to you to buy hot dogs for your >>> humongous starving family that lives in a mall. >>> >>> All for you TO! >>> >>> F.U.T.O! >>> Yours Truly, >>> Jeremy >>> >> >> (Er...who is T.O.?) >> > > (Terrell Owens) (And you say you are from Philly) .