Subj : Re: Are you ready for some American football? To : alt.tv.farscape From : Jim Larson Date : Fri Sep 09 2005 02:39:06 From Newsgroup: alt.tv.farscape Nick wrote: > weirdwolf wrote: > >> Nick wrote in >> news:Xns96CBCF2D79A58ndtcm@ 68.1.17.6: >> >>> weirdwolf wrote: >>> >>>> Nick wrote in >>>> news:Xns96CBCC881C93Endtcm@ 68.1.17.6: >>>> >>>>> The season starts today. >>>>> >>>> >>>> Dammit, I was hoping I could get a free local radio feed like >>>> with the hockey. Stupid greedy franchises. >>>> Ted >>>> >>> >>> None at all? That surprises me. >> >> I looked at the NFL website and it says there is a charge. The >> thing is that there is a tiny market for American football in the >> UK, a couple of matches are broadcast a week on channel 5 a >> station that doesn't even have coverage of the whole of the uk. >> Ted >> > > Bastards. That reminds me. Did I post this here? > > Dear TO, > All I want is for the Eagles to win the Super Bowl. Before you came, > the Eagles couldnAt even get to the Super Bowl. Then you came, and we > were the best Eagles team I had ever seen. We got to the Super Bowl > and almost won. You were awesome! I decided that with just a little > more practice this year, we could win it all. > > But then my dad told me that you might not be on the team anymore. I > was really upset and cried. Then I watched the news and saw that you > were crying too! This made me cry even more! You said you needed to > feed your family. I asked my mom if maybe we could help feed your > family so that you would stop crying and help us win the Super Bowl. > My mom told me that the Eagles gave you over 9 million dollars last > year and that you can afford to buy your own food. I told her that > you were crying and maybe you had spent it all already. She told me > you were going to get 3 million more dollars this year. I asked her > how much a hot dog costs. ThatAs my favorite food! She told me they > were 25 cents unless you buy them from the Eagles in which case they > cost 5 dollars. I asked if she thought you could afford to buy enough > hot dogs to feed your family and she said oOh yeaho, but not in a > normal way, she said oOh yeaho in the way she says it when I ask her > if I have to go to school or take a bath. I hate baths! I asked her > how many hot dogs you could buy and she told me to figure it out > myself. I had to get my calculator to do it and the answer was 12 > million hot dogs! ThatAs a lot of hot dogs! But then I was thinking > maybe you buy your hot dogs from the Eagles in which case they cost 5 > dollars. So then I was thinking maybe you had more than 12 million > people in your family. Do you? We have 4. 5 if you count my turtle. > His name is Donovan McTurtle. > > Then I saw you doing sit-ups in front of a mall. My dad told me that > it was your house. So I asked my dad if 12 million people could fit > in that house and he said oprobablyo. ThatAs when I realized that > Eagles were being selfish and that the Eagles need to give you more > money so that you can feed your entire family. And maybe they should > make their hot dogs cheaper too. I thought this would help other > people too because sometimes I eat a hot dog when my dad takes me to > see you play. > > But then I decided that maybe I could just start saving my hot dogs > for you and that way I could help you feed all 12 million people in > your family. So the other night when my mom made hot dogs, I sneaked > 2 halves up to my room and put them in a drawer. But then I realized > it would take me a very very very very very long time to have 12 > million hot dogs and so I needed to get other people to help. So then > I went around my neighborhood and asked people for hot dogs for you. > But I got tired of telling them the whole story so I came up with a > slogan that I thought might help everyone understand the situation. > Then I tried to put the slogan on a shirt. At first the slogan was > oFor You T.O.o but I didnAt have enuff room for all of that so I just > took the first letter of the oForo and just made the "You" a oUo, > which is funny because thatAs the way I always used to think it was > spelled! So now my shirt says F.U.T.O! > > I showed my dad the shirt and he laffed. He said it really got the > message across. He said he knew lots of people that would wear that > shirt. So that gave me another idea which was to try to sell the > shirt itself! Which was a great idea because then I could just give > the money to you to buy hot dogs for your humongous starving family > that lives in a mall. > > All for you TO! > > F.U.T.O! > Yours Truly, > Jeremy > (Er...who is T.O.?) -- Jim .