Subj : Re: This Train Just Went Splat!
To   : alt.tv.er
From : npardue
Date : Sun Sep 25 2005 08:46:28

From Newsgroup: alt.tv.er

> I'm assuming this is a typo and you mean 'no health reasons.'



actually, I meant what I said (since I would never argue against the
nutritousness of breastmilk because I am aware of how nutritious it
is).
The reason I said there are no healthy reasons (as is
emotional/psychological health) is because I believe that it crosses
boundaries issues (among other things) when a child who is more or less
old
enough to know what's going on to breastfeed straight from the breast
(whether in private or public).


Why?  Why does it affect bounderies?  Why is it wrong for a child to
'know what's going on?'  Young children don't view breasts as sexual.

since I believe that breastfeeding is harmful to the older child's
emotional/psychological health, if I would ever decide that my older
child
needs the nutritional value of the breastmilk, then I won't mind the
sarifice of having to pump and store the milk.  after all, making
sacrifices
is a large part of a parents job.  again, this is based solely on my
opinion
and others who don't share it would not see the need to come up with
another
way to meet the same end (which is the child getting the nutritional
milk
without worrying about the controversy of breastfeeding older children)

Of course that's your choice and your decision. I do hope that if/when
you get to that point, you do some research about the actual emotional
issues involved so you can make an informed decision. (Though, having
said that, if you're really uncomfortable with it, whatever you've
read, it IS your choice. I just would hate to see you devoting time to
pumping milk that could be better spent in other ways.)


>>(Also, for
> toddlers and preschoolers, a large part of the benefit of breastmilk
> (more on this later) is the comfort aspect. They don't get that
> drinking from a cup.


its a basic fact that children can't breastfeed forever.  Why not make
it
easier for child by replacing breastfeeding (for comfort reasons) with
another long-term socially acceptable coping mechanism.  the sooner
they
learn it, the better they can cope with many of life's messy
situations.
For example, instead of breastfeeding, the child can get comfort from
being
held, getting a hug or kiss, sitting next to the mom, talking with the
mom,
holding hands, singing, reading, drawing and many food.  If you are
using
breastfeeding for this reason (comfort) what will happen when they need
to
be comforted and mom's not around?  Avoiding long term problems is what
I am
trying to say if this isn't clear.

Because there is no reason to 'replace' when 'supplement' also works.
I guarantee that mothers who nurse past age 1 ALSO hug and kiss their
children, sing to them, and so on. There is nothing WRONG with having
multiple options, and when parent or child is ready to give one of them
up (whether it's the breast or a teddy bear) they do so.  Again, all
children DO wean themselves, given the opportunity. If it's not
'socially acceptable' to breatfeed a child older than 1, maybe it's
society that needs to change, not the practices of the mothers who
choose differently.

Whether parents like it or not, children grow up and need them less.
To
continue breastfeeding for someone who is 2,3,4,5,6 or even later just
because it is a source of comfort and connection does not make it
right.

Nor does it make it wrong.

Would it be right to not potty train a child and still be changing
diapers
at 10, 11, 12 just because it keeps the child connected to the adult to
be
needed?

Similar story.  Most children will begin to use the toilet LONG before
10 or 12, even if their parents don't actively potty train them. (3 or
4 seems to be the usual for that one with, like breastfeeding, a few
kids wearing diapers a bit longer.)

 Would it be right for a 15 or 16 year old to share their parents
bed just because it is comforting to both parties?  Do you think these
situations cross any boundaries?

With a teenager you do start getting into potential sexual issues.  But
preschoolers don't see breatfeeding as sexual.  (And yes, I've shared a
bed with my daughter on occassion.)


I'll finish this later. Gotta take Shaina somewhere .... 

Naomi

.