Subj : Sysop humor
To   : Nick Andre
From : Janis Kracht
Date : Thu Dec 27 2001 01:27 pm

Hi Nick,

> Does anyone still have those old joke text files written by Sysops, ie. "10
> things that annoy a Sysop", etc?

> Just wanna relive old memories. :)

Not sure this is the file you mean, but I think it's a good one.. it's been one 
of my bulletins for years on my bbs :)

=============cut here=======
The following appeared on Kanto Central, a popular BBS that used to operate in 
Tokyo, Japan:

"THIRTY WAYS TO LOVE KANTO CENTRAL" (Or Whatever Bulletin Board System You May 
Happen To Call)

 1.  Thou shalt remember thy name and password.
 2.  Thou shalt check thine facts and name thy sources that all may verify.
 3.  Thou shalt not POST IN ALL CAPS!
 4.  Thou shalt use thy real name.
 5.  Thou shalt not monopolize a topic.
 6.  Honor thy moderator.
 7.  Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's password nor handle.
 8.  Thou shalt not post messages that are stupid, worthless, or lack meaning.
 9.  Thou shalt use the English language properly.
10.  Thou shalt spell thy words correctly. 11.  Thou shalt not use a "handle" 
unless thine computer is a portable. 12.  Thou shalt delete thine olden 
messages. 13.  Thou shalt help other users.
14.  Thou shalt not post anonymously when offering criticism. 15.  Thou shalt 
keep thy foul language to thyself. 16.  Thou shalt not occupy thy favorite 
system with thine arguments, for Verily, I say unto thee that thou shalt make a 
fool of thyself. 17.  Woe be unto the user who attempt to crash a system, for 
he or she shalt be cast out from the sanctuary of the hobby and must repent by 
doing 40 days and 40 nights of penance of voice-only communications. 18.  Thou 
shalt first dial modem numbers during the day by way of voice line to assure 
correct numbers.
19.  Thou shalt not beg for E-Mail. 20.  Thou shalt not post messages while 
drunk, stoned or bent out of shape. 21.  Thou shalt confine thy messages to 
those of friendship, requests for assistance, aid to the needy, advice, and 
advancement of thy hobby; and thou art obligated to repel any who wouldst 
transgress upon those commandments.
22.  If thou doth promise to reply to a message and thou doth not, then surely 
thou shalt spill coffee into thy keyboard and burn out thy central processing 
chip.
23.  Thou shalt not giveth any false information when applying for membership, 
for verily it is written that whosoever shall do so will surely be found out 
and thy welcome on all boards will be terminated forever and ever. 24.  Thou 
shalt log on properly and in accordance with the system rules. 25.  Thou shalt 
observe length limits. 26.  Thou shalt not upload "worm" programs. 27.  Thou 
shalt not ask stupid questions that are already fully explained in the topic or 
instructions.
28.  Thou shalt not exchange copy protected software thru the BBS. 29.  Thou 
shalt not violate applicable local laws and regulations affecting 
telecommunications, or ye shall will feel the wrath of thy judicial system. 30. 
 Thou shalt not hack.

============cut here======

Happy Holidays Nick :)

Take care,
Janis

--- BBBS/LiI v4.01 Flag-3
 * Origin: Prism bbs (1:2320/38)

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