Subj : Comparative Analysis. 1/2 To : JOHN WILSON From : LEE LOFASO Date : Sat Jul 21 2001 08:33 am Hello John, >LL>COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS of RELIGIOUS and SPIRITUAL PHILOSOPHIES JW> WITH RECENT OFF-HAND EXEAGESUS... >LL>Taoism: >LL>Shit happens. JW>Actually shit is to be expected. All the time? I certainly hope not... >LL>Confucianism: >LL>Confucius say, Shit happens. JW>The shit that happens can be minimised. But it still happens nonetheless... >LL>Buddhism: >LL>If Shit happens, it really isn't Shit. JW>The absence of shit too can cause suffering. Absolutely. Trees could not grow otherwise. And hogs would have a terrible time. >LL>Zen: >LL>What is the sound of Shit happening? JW>Once understood shit is merely interesting. That is an interesting piece of Shit. Let me have a closer look... >LL>Hinduism: >LL>This Shit happened before. JW>This shit isn't so bad and there's sweeter smalling shit to come. Especially when bathing in the Ganges... >LL>Islam: >LL>If Shit happens, it is the will of Allah. JW>That Allah he shits on the infidel more. And there is (finally!) JW>no shit where I'm going. "And take that which the Messenger has brought you." - Holy Qur'an >LL>Protestantism: >LL>Let Shit happen to someone else. JW>Most shit is an attitudde. As only Eminem would know... >LL>Catholicism: >LL>If Shit happens you deserve it. JW>And we will tell you what shit really is. And then all others other than Eminem will know... >LL>Judaism: >LL>Why does Shit always happen to us? JW>Messiah *will* come...no shit. Past, present and future happening all at once. >LL>Atheism: >LL>Shit happens for no apparent reason. JW>And I see it for what it is. That's *not* a good sign... >LL>Jehovah Witnesses: >LL>Let us in and we'll tell you why Shit happens. JW>And soon, real soon, shit will be like chocholate bars... As Forrest Gump found out, life is like a box of chocolates... >LL>Hare Krishna: >LL>Shit happens, Shit happens, Shit happens happens. JW>Somewhow singing this shit makes me happy. Don't worry. Be happy. >LL>Paganism: >LL>Shit is part of the Goddess, too. JW>Somhow Her shit is better. Looks better, too. >LL>Scientology: >LL>DoDo occurs. JW>Clear the shit from your brains, but it'll cost you... Only if you have Shit for brains will that help... JW>LL>Mormon: JW>LL>Shit happens somewhere else. JW>*Everywhre* esle. (Except in that third heaven. No shit!) Only the Celestial Mother would know for sure... >LL>New Age: >LL>I now allow the Shit in my life to happen freely and completely. JW>Ahhhh. Relief, for the out-if-tune constipatees. Ex-Lax Ex-Lax oh what a relief it is... >LL>Christian Science: >LL>If Shit happens you're not praying hard enough. JW>There no shit. That stuff is merely a produvt of your mind. Gotta clear this Shit from my mind. It's important. >LL>12 Step Program: >LL>Shit happens, but it's not as bad as it used to be. JW>Unless it get worse, if which case you're still carrying around that sack JW>of shit... Time to make some cookies... JW>Neat stuff... ;-) It's just a humorous piece, not intending to offend. I do not know who the author was who wrote it, and it is doubtful that the author wishes to be known. But if I ever find out I'll be sure to let y'all know. :) JW>... Preach the gospel all the time; if necessary use words--St Francis >>> Continued to next message * SLMR 2.1a * I must have been changed for Mabel! --- Platinum Xpress/Win/WINServer v3.0pr5 * Origin: Try Our Web Based QWK: DOCSPLACE.ORG (1:18/140) .