Subj : Comparative Analysis...
To   : Lee Lofaso
From : John Wilson
Date : Fri Jul 20 2001 06:12 am

-=> LEE LOFASO wrote to ALL <=-

 LL> Hello Everybody,

 LL> --------

 LL> COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS of RELIGIOUS and SPIRITUAL PHILOSOPHIES

     WITH RECENT OFF-HAND EXEAGESUS...

 LL> Taoism:
 LL> Shit happens.

 Actually shit is to be expected.


 LL> Confucianism:
 LL> Confucius say, Shit happens.

 The shit that happens can be minimised.



 LL> Buddhism:
 LL> If Shit happens, it really isn't Shit.

 The absence of shit too can cause suffering.


 LL> Zen:
 LL> What is the sound of Shit happening?

 Once understood shit is merely interesting.

 LL> Hinduism:
 LL> This Shit happened before.

 This shit isn't so bad and there's sweeter smalling shit to come.

 LL> Islam:
 LL> If Shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

 That Allah he shits on the infidel more. And there is (finally!)
 no shit where I'm going.

 LL> Protestantism:
 LL> Let Shit happen to someone else.

 Most shit is an attitudde.


 LL> Catholicism:
 LL> If Shit happens you deserve it.

 And we will tell you what shit really is.


 LL> Judaism:
 LL> Why does Shit always happen to us?

 Messiah *will* come...no shit.

 LL> Atheism:
 LL> Shit happens for no apparent reason.

 And I see it for what it is.


 LL> Jehovah Witnesses:
 LL> Let us in and we'll tell you why Shit happens.

 And soon, real soon, shit will be like chocholate bars...


 LL> Hare Krishna:
 LL> Shit happens, Shit happens, Shit happens happens.

 Somewhow singing this shit makes me happy.
 
 LL> Paganism:
 LL> Shit is part of the Goddess, too.

 Somhow Her shit is better.
    
 LL> Scientology:
 LL> DoDo occurs.

 Clear the shit from your brains, but it'll cost you...


 LL> Mormon:
 LL> Shit happens somewhere else.

 *Everywhre* esle. (Except in that third heaven. No shit!)

 LL> New Age:
 LL> I now allow the Shit in my life to happen freely and completely.

 Ahhhh. Relief, for the out-if-tune constipatees.


 LL> Christian Science:
 LL> If Shit happens you're not praying hard enough.

 There no shit. That stuff is merely a produvt of your mind.


 LL> 12 Step Program:
 LL> Shit happens, but it's not as bad as it used to be.

 Unless it get worse, if which case you're still carrying around that sack

 of shit...

 Neat stuff... ;-)

 Cheers!



.... Preach the gospel all the time; if necessary use words--St Francis
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