Subj : What Sort Are You? [3/3] To : All From : Rachel L. Akers Date : Sat Jun 09 2001 11:07 pm Which one are you then? [3/3] 18. Scary Devil Worshipper Would never be caught dead skyclad. Rarely smiles, except in a snide, knowing way which insinuates you are an ignorant peasant worthy only of conquest. Secretly enjoys Rush Limbaugh, and read The Bell Curve with smug satisfaction. Fascinated with Nazis. Probably has never hurt a fly, but they want you to think they're capable of vast destruction. Distinguishing Signs : Lots of black and red. Men like goatees, women favor heavy black eyeliner. At least one inverted pentagram somewhere on their person. If you see several of them getting tanked in a bar, it would be wise to stay far away. 19. Sexy Pagan Nymph Oh, they're so nice! All that warm, round, sex-positive flesh -- and you can actually carry on a conversation with them between orgasms... pant, drool... Distinguishing Signs : Cute. Horny. Displays prominent cleavage. Will recite love poetry to you under a full moon. Likes to do it outdoors. Often destitute. All too few of them. 20. Womyncentric Gynocrat A man's shadow crossed her altar once and she spent three weeks purifying it. She'll have no wands in her chalice, thank you. No boys allowed in her full-moon club. Can hold forth for hours on the magical properties of menstrual blood. Distinguishing Signs : Tiny axes or curved knives, just right for amputating a penis, are a favored symbol and often hang conveniently from her body parts. When a man approaches, she rolls her eyes and stops talking. 21. Corporate Closet Witch "Hey, boss -- I'd like to take February 2nd as a personal day..." Has an entire chapter of their Book Of Shadows concerned with spells for purifying the workplace. Doesn't mind working on Christmas, especially if there's overtime involved. Quit being overtly Pagan at work since being canned by that born-again boss, but still refuses to say "Merry Christmas." Distinguishing Signs : Can assume a properly smiley work persona at the drop of a hat. Constantly glances around the room anxiously looking for co-workers and their spies. Non-distinctive style of dress, no conspicuous tattoos. 22. Tree Hugging Nature Sprite Most prized possession: one of Judi Barry's old tree spikes. Simultaneously believes in universal love for humanity AND returning the planet to a pristine, uncorrupted state. Apt to remove clothes and fondle the shrubbery at a moment's notice. Can discuss compost in great detail. Distinguishing Signs : No meat, no fragrance, no leather, no plastic, no smoke, no drugs, no eco-exploitive products, no animal tested cosmetics, no TV, no car, but very tolerant. 23. I Am Not Spock (at the moment) Knows at least three films about Cthulhu and at least forty Star Trek jokes. Has found a clever way to create simple furniture from stacks of science fiction paperbacks. Can name ninety different kinds of space ships. Distinguishing Signs : Two fisted drinking style. Probably still lives with parents. Many cryptic buttons, badges, patches and other insignia. Too smart for their own good. 24. TechnoPagan Often found discussing the best method of removing hot wax from keyboards. Seems unaccustomed to sunlight. Have had coven-mates for years whom they have never seen face to face, much less know which continent they live on. Distinguishing Signs : Casts circle with #5 torx driver. Chalice contains Jolt. BoS is writtin in Perl. Refers to eclectic ritual as "cross- platforming." Thinks "naked in your rites" means a non-GUI environment. [& the list grows...] 25. Pagatheist Philosobore Often the death of a party when late-hour conversation turns to religious debate. You're pretty sure they should not consider themselves a part of any religion because of their staunch reliance on logic and science, but they will swear up and down that they're more pagan than you. They look no more like a pagan than your local dry-cleaner, and do very little magic work. However, run and hide if you ask them about their theory as to how magic works because otherwise you will be stuck in a very uncomfortable place for a very long time. Distingushing Signs : Eyes light up with glee when Jahova's Witness comes to the door. Bookshelves stocked with everything from Dianetics to to Freud with bookmarks left only half way through. 26. Pop-culture Pagan He (they're nearly always male) has watched the circle-casting scene from the Doctor Who episode "Battlefield" often enough to wear out the tape. He's bought the Charmed Episode Guide for the incantations, and frequently visualises Gods and Goddesses as movie actors. Fervently believing in the validity of ALL magical and religious influences, regardless of where they come from, he will often invoke characters from Tolkien, the Sandman and, at a push, the Beatles. Considers the Invisibles comic a holy scripture. May liken the persecution and ridicule of witches to the X-Men. Distinguishing Signs : Able to regurgitate a quote from Buffy for any occasion. Deliberately dresses in smart clothes to show how modern and twenty-first century pagans can be. Often to be found in the video section at HMV. 27. Goddess/God pagan. Considers themselves to be a God or Goddess , cant abide the nasty things in life, always vegetarian, or vegan, always wears 60s clothes and lots of jewellery. Usually very fluffy, very nieve, and almost constantly childish, They insist that their body is a temple. Houses are full of witchy ornaments, chimes, and rainbow stickers. They usually have collections of Athame, cauldrons, dragons, fairies and fantasy posters Their bookshelves are full of fantasy books, reality rarely puts a foot over their doorstep, Somehow they survive, but its seems to be more due to their naivety than anything else. They constantly have problems paying the rent, and other bills, and rarely think ahead more than a few days at a time. Their gardens are usually left to go wild, as the Gods intended, and are full of chimes, metal, wood, glass anything that clangs or clashes, they are often tone deaf. They often don't get on well with neighbours who resent the clanging and clashing, the weed seeds, and the irritation of someone who goes out at three in the morning to sing to the moon. Distinguishing signs : 60s plastic jewellery, and witchy jewellery, lots of silver rings, Uncut, and often uncombed hair. Second hand clothes that never fit properly, if female long skirts, if male flared trousers. Lives by the horoscopes in newspapers, always trying to guess peoples star signs, wont be seen dead with the wrong star sign. usually lives in the country in a ramshackle doer, upper, which never gets done up, because they have been driven from the town by irate neighbours. --- Msged/2 4.00 * Origin: Elfwhere - The POINTy eared POINT (3:640/531.2379) .