Subj : [5/7] FYI Fwed advice To : All From : Rachel L. Akers Date : Wed Mar 21 2001 09:37 pm .. FYI Fwed advice: Dealing with a Practicing Christian [5/7] Subject: Re: Dealing with a Practicing Christian Date: Fri, 9 Feb 2001 21:15:48 CST Newsgroups: alt.religion.wicca.moderated > A Christian person in my workplace came to me about a year ago > and inquired about my religious beliefs. I believe she has the > notion of converting me. > How do I get into a better place? Does this person have the ability within the company to affect your employment? You have many options here.. you can give the book back with a smile and a "thanks for the thought, but I'm not interested/don't have the time to read it/etc." You can be honest and tell her you find the homophobic/misogynist attitudes VERY offensive, and put up with her hurt looks (yeah, sounds passive aggressive to me, and I have learned to IGNORE that sort of manipulation since my family is rife with it). You can tell her that you think discussions about religion are best left OUTSIDE the office. I'm not so willing to give this woman the benefit of the doubt.. her comments about feeling hurt etc., sound very manipulative and you need to take back control. YOU give her power if you don't. You can even start off with "I don't want to offend you BUT I insist you stop sending/giving me Christian literature, I am well aware of the tenets of your faith and have no interest in pursuing it, nor discussing it." Meantime, a method that has worked well for me is waiting for the moon to near new, put the person's name on a piece of paper, over a line, over your name.. to symbolize the power they have over you. Light a black candle and BURN the paper, and see the person's power over you disappear along with the paper. Say it out loud to yourself, if necessary, something to the effect of "you have no power over me, as this paper burns, so does your ability to affect me, so mote it be". YMMV but this has worked very well for me and more than once. -- Blessed Be, DarkeWytche ------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: Dealing with a Practicing Christian Date: Fri, 9 Feb 2001 23:21:51 CST Newsgroups: alt.religion.wicca.moderated I haven't been ideologically pursued in this manner in a work setting. However, I once was supervisor to a very potentially litigious subordinate. She did not do her work in a timely manner, seemed to have no problem having people help her but wouldn't think of helping others, like to change my one-on-one behavior redirection talks into issues of race & gender. I would treat the Christian-nizing at work in a similar manner as I did with this woman: 1) Document as much as you can....e-mails, gifts, brochures, etc. Anything that is a 3-D example of what she professed. 2) Have another person observe the behavior, especially someone who is a neutral witness. You pull someone aside, and I made it another person each time, and say "Hey, I would appreciate it if you could keep an ear out for the conversation I am probably going to have with ......." 3) I went instantly to my supervisor to let them know what was brewing (no pun intended)...In this case, rather than come out of the "closet" (you don't have to go there) make the issue that you do not feel comfortable with being focussed on.....emphasize that casual conversations are one thing, but you feel like you are being a target of a personal campaign....I would address this with them well before any issues arise....Supervisors like to be part of the planning process before hand as much as possible.....Explain what you have done, and then strategize with them.....plan for what you both feel is an appropriate, planned controlled confrontation. Speak with the HR person to review your rights, and check the employees handbook for the related topics... 4) Provide as little information/ammo to the person who is trying to "witness" to you (or AT YOU, as the case may be)...Trying to enlighten someone who catagorically believes that Christianity is right/everything else must be wrong is a losing battle. You will not change them, and that makes it more of a comparison of religion issue than a religious freedom issue. Coming out is a big step (bigger if you live in a smaller community where Paganism is just another cosmopolitan thought in the big city) and you force yourself to become a spokeperson of sorts. If you are not willing to fully "out" yourself, making generic statements to non-pagans like "believing in a nature-based faith" just stirs up the waters.. and although discrimination is illegal...there are many forms that can't always be measured or proven...You can still be the victim, but essentially the bullies can win. If you do come "out", I would be as calm and articulate as you can be (leave the ranting/losing credibility to them). I would also do some research to back up your rights, and keep them close...calm,credible, and informative representatives of a religion can make a difference...People are more likely to "write you off" as fanatic if you come across as a blathering knucklehead.....They can't write you off as easily if you make a lot of sense.... --my less-than-2-cents-worth St Jarna --- Msged/2 4.00 * Origin: Elfwhere - The POINTy eared POINT (3:640/531.2379) .