Subj : [3/7] FYI Fwed advice To : All From : Rachel L. Akers Date : Mon Mar 19 2001 10:31 pm (note: part 2 of this post is [4/7]) FYI Fwed advice: Dealing with a Practicing Christian [3/7] Subject: Re: Dealing with a Practicing Christian Date: Fri, 9 Feb 2001 21:11:31 CST Newsgroups: alt.religion.wicca.moderated > A Christian person in my workplace came to me about a year ago > and inquired about my religious beliefs. I believe she has the > notion of converting me. > She has now taken to giving me literature (and sending me > emails) about the Bible, Christianity, God, etc. She wants to > know what I think of them and what my beliefs are. OK, one question: Why haven't you already contacted your supervisor about this? Does this woman have power over you in the office? Is she a co-worker or a boss? And either way, this is harassment on the grounds of religion and in the USA (at least, I don't know about other countries) it's illegal for her to be doing this. > This woman has the following beliefs: > Etc. > This person is, in other ways, extraordinarily kind and > sunny. When I've objected to some of her statements, she is > always apologetic. She says that offending or hurting others > is the last thing she wants to do. She also says that she's > "highly sensitive" to criticism or rejection from others, and > she wants me to approve of her. Of course she's kind and sunny. She's convinced she has the One True Way. But if she keeps being offensive in the same ways and apologizing for it, are her apologies really sincere? Wouldn't you think that she'd learn from her mistakes? And why should her self-esteem be wrapped up in your opinion? Ask her that. And too bad if she's highly sensitive to criticism. If she's going to survive in the business world she's gotta learn to take it. > I've been a bit off-balance for the past two or three days > (full Storm Moon?) and tried to put a little more distance > between myself and this person than usual. Her questions and > comments then became more frequent. She'll ask, "Do you > believe there are real psychics?" for example. So for the > past few days, until I could get some time to recenter and > think, I simply tried to avoid her. Unfortunately, in the workplace it's hard, if not impossible, to avoid a person for any great length of time. > So she came by my office this morning with a "present." A > book on Christian child-raising and personality development. > My instincts were to reject it (which she would have regarded > as an affront, of course) but instead I took it and put it on > my desk. Big mistake. What to do with it next? I might have > left it there and given it back to her in a few days, but > curiousity got the best of me and I opened it. She had said > that certain chapters were particularly interesting. They > were filled with homophobic, anti-women, Patriarchal stuff. > This is about the sixth or seventh time she's given me this > kind of thing. In the past, I told her of my specific > objections to the content and since the past offerings were > digital, simply deleted them from my email. Unfortunately, with full-frontal-assault missionaries like this, subtlety and politeness often doesn't work. I'd keep hard copies of anything else she sends you, and go to a manager with it. And the book, too. > Since I had told her of my objections in the past, I was > hoping, this time, that the book would contain less offensive > stuff. Frankly, it is the worst of all her submissions to me, > and I get the feeling she's taking advantage of my lack of > psychic protection to assault fullscale with her own beliefs. She may think that since you haven't come out and said "Yes, I'm a pagan, and I will not change my beliefs" that you're a 'backslidden Christian' or someone who's not secure in her faith. This is something missionary types often look for, indicators that the person has no 'real' faith, so that they can exploit that lack or uncertainty by forcing *their* faith on them. This isn't endemic to Christian fundamentalists either. > I'm going to immerse myself in centering and protective work > this weekend, of course. But has anyone else ever sensed this > kind of assault? I really feel she was waiting for me to drop > my protection and then stick this book in my world. This book > came with a kind of energy attached to it that went beyond > the mere words inside of it. It seems to exude hate from > every page. By letting it into my office and setting it on my > desk, it was as if I allowed the entire area (and my psyche) > to be polluted. Most likely it did. I would put it somewhere outside your office until such time as you can confront her in the HR manager's office with it. And you might even want to do a bit of cleansing of your office. > I'm feeling guilty, as if I asked for trouble. While in the > first throes of feeling upset about the book, I emailed her > and told her to stop giving me Christian material, that I > find it offensive. Now I'm thinking that probably gave her > more power and may even validate her worldview. As you can > see from this post, this incident has activated my old > childhood Christian guilt. You can choose not to take the guilt. Tell it to leave, that you have nothing to be guilty about (and you don't!). You didn't ask for this; quite to the contrary, you have told her repeatedly that her 'offerings' are not welcome. (And personally, it sounds like those 'offerings' were analogous to what a cat brings in from the field or what a dog leaves on your front lawn, but I digress.) >... continued next post... --- Msged/2 4.00 * Origin: Elfwhere - The POINTy eared POINT (3:640/531.2379) .