Subj : [2/7] FYI Fwed advice To : All From : Rachel L. Akers Date : Sun Mar 18 2001 09:09 pm .. FYI Fwed advice: Dealing with a Practicing Christian [2/7] Subject: Re: Dealing with a Practicing Christian Date: Sat, 10 Feb 2001 Newsgroups: alt.religion.wicca.moderated > The really big problem with 'missionaries' is they won't > let off - tell them you're not going to convert and > they'll just strike harder - they're saving you after all > and are confident one day you'll see that... That's why I always go for the jugular and start quoting select scripture at them. Because unless you tell them that theologically they don't have a leg to stand on, they're going to persist. My favorite is Matthews 6:1+, only because it's the most straight forward example. -- - William Woody (Who is not a Christian, just learned a lot of dogma in self-defense.) ------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: Dealing with a Practicing Christian Date: Fri, 9 Feb 2001 20:01:39 CST Newsgroups: alt.religion.wicca.moderated First, my sympathy over the work situation. It sounds icky. One possible suggestion is to say "Look, I feel like this is making me focus on our conversations to the detriment of my ability to work, and I'd really prefer not to discuss religion any more in the office. I think that's more professional, don't you?" in a sort of apologetic but cheerful voice. Apologetic in the sense that it's some flaw in you that you can't discuss it and be professionally responsible, but cheerful in the sense that you know that she wants you to be able to do a good job, etc. etc. It's a professional response, and you're calling on her to remember that it is a place of business, not a personal call at someone's house. Also, I do think that since she has repeatedly ignored your request to avoid particularly objectionable material, and consistently pushed the topic, while simultaneously trotting out the "I can't deal with criticism, it hurts so much" passive-agressive move (I wouldnt' consider it p-a without the combination, mind... if she'd listened and respected your request the first time, no big deal. But she didn't.) that she can therefore deal with the consequences of her action. If that means that she gets offended because you hand the book back with a "I'm sorry. I've asked you not to lend me this kind of reading material before. Please respect that request." (note that this is a polite statement) If she can't deal with that, then she really has much more major problems. (I'm sort of suprised she's surviving in the business world, actually...) Finally, particularly if you try one of these, you may want to talk to your supervisor, if that's at all possible, or to someone in your human resources office, depending on office policies and such. Explaining that this is distracting to your ability to concentrate on your work should probably (assuming an either caring or productivity-minded manager or HR person) hopefully get you some support. You wouldn't need to go into your own beliefs, just point out that you've asked her to stop, and she hasn't chosen to do so. > I'm tempted to also suggest finding sites like the Sceptic > Bible and I have seen some very good biblical discussions > pro-homosexuality written by Christians - but I'm guessing > that these might be a little too strong and be seen too much > of an attack by this woman. Just on the off chance you decide the book idea is a good one (or in case you're interested in doing some reading yourself from the other side), I recently read a book by Mel White called "Stranger at the Gate" White was a long time writer/film director/producer of Christian films and documentaries, and was among other things a ghost writer for a whole bunch of big names in the Christian Right (Fallwell, Robertson, etc...) He is also - and has been fighting with this since childhood - gay, and now separated from his wife and in a long term relationship with his (male, obviously) partner. He very frankly describes his life, up through the time he began realising exactly how destructive the fundamentalist use of homophobia as a fund-raising tactic in particular was, and through his coming-out process. He's now working in a large parish. Throughout, he kept a caring relationship with his wife, trying everything he could to 'cure' himself (he admits none of it worked) and stayed very involved with his wife and kids' lives throughout (living a block or two away at most). He comes through as a very ethical, very moral man, who really was trying to do the right thing (and who is very frank about his slip-ups). He also comes across as having an amazingly strong faith. I found it a very intriguing book, and a very interesting view into that side of the religious background. -- Gwynyth ------------------------------------------------------------- --- Msged/2 4.00 * Origin: Elfwhere - The POINTy eared POINT (3:640/531.2379) .