Subj : errr.... interesting humour To : All From : Rachel L. Akers Date : Sat Oct 28 2000 02:03 am Greetings All Was just sent this Rai > -------- Original Message -------- > Subject: OT- God Versus Satan > Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2000 18:30:59 CST > From: "Aeseker" > Newsgroups: alt.religion.wicca.moderated > There is no way I can bring this on topic but it was too good not > to share - the Devil made me do it! BTW.... DITTO!!! > In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. > And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon > the face of the deep. > And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this." > And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. > And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding > seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was > good. > And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood." > And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, > and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the > fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and > over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." > And so God created Man in his own image; male and female created he > them. > And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and > fit. > And Satan said, "I know how I can get back in this game." > And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and > spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman > would live long and healthy lives. > And Satan created McDonald's. > And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger. > And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?" > And Man said, "Supersize them." > And Man gained 5 pounds. > And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her > figure that man found so fair. > And Satan brought forth chocolate. > And Woman gained 5 pounds. > And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." > And Satan brought forth Ben and Jerry's. > And Woman gained 10 pounds. > And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive > oil with which to cook them." > And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its > own platter. > And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the > roof. > And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those > extra pounds. > And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would > not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. > And Man gained another 20 pounds. > And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought > forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming > with nutrition. > And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy > center into chips and deep-fat fried them. > And he created sour cream dip also. > And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips > swaddled in cholesterol. > And Satan saw and said, "It is good." > And Man went into cardiac arrest. > And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. > And Satan created HMO's... --- Msged/2 4.00 * Origin: Elfwhere - The POINTy eared POINT (3:640/531.2379) .