Subj : Re: One more?
To   : Jim Staal
From : Steven Van Vliet
Date : Thu Oct 25 2001 10:45 am

JS> JS>LOL! Sounds like things are back to norbal for you.

JS> SVV> Yep. ;)

JS> SVV> I feel compelled to start having fun again.

JS> SVV> Immediately after Sept. 11th I was extremely depressed and a
JS> SVV> victim of near constant crying binges,

JS>Yeah?

I'm serious as a heart attack. It was weird, true, but it was the case.

Hey, that much of innocent humanity dying "in my face" devastated me.
Can't explain why, for people (thousands of them) die every day 
naturally or unnaturally. 

It's said that 200,000+ die each year from lung cancer related to 
smoking, for instance. And that is certainly tragic.

It was just the SUDDEN tragedy, or something. Dunno.

JS>Me too, to a lessor degree as far as frequency, but certainly
JS>to similar degree of intensity. (I credit the many meds that I take
JS>and the bi-weekly  visits to the analyst to the less frequent
JS>occurances. Seriously.)

I thought seriously of going to counseling for a while there, but I 
never 
had the nerve. And I, having some degree of psych training, decided to 
ride it out.

JS> SVV> then came the anger phase where I lashed
JS> SVV> out at everyone and everything, then a phase of serious
JS> SVV> contemplation and serious discussion and debate about the whole
JS> SVV> mess. Now it's time for me to lighten up and start enjoying
JS> SVV> myself.

JS>Sounds like you went throught several typical stages of grieving and
JS>finally reaching some sort of acceptance on the whole thing. 

Yep. I pretty much went through the classic standard phases of grief.

JS>I did a
JS>bit of that myself.
JS>Of course, the VAST amount of my waking hours both day and night are
JS>spent alone, by myself.

Where's Wilbur?

Never mind. I see you state where later in your post.

JS>I work out/through a lot of my stuff quite audibly if I so
JS>desire, usually with good results. 

Me too.

JS>One time this last year the doc and I were trying
JS>without this
JS>particular mood stabilizer and I did great for about 6 weeks, but in
JS>the space of
JS>a weekend I totally crashed and burned in the parking lot of my out
JS>patient gig
JS>with my on board Ginzu to my throat bawling 'I need he-e-e-lp!'

YOW!

Not that I haven't been in the garage making nooses and looking at the 
rafters in the past.

JS>(Wilbur works during the day and I work a pt time night shift, solo
JS>running and AM and FM  radio station (50,000 watts on the FM)). 

Ahhh!

JS>Yeah,
JS>I saw the 'and' typo for 'an' above
JS>and I just don't care. :-) Call it my signature, if you will.

Go wit' dat flow, my friend. 

JS> SVV>Even though we have a
JS> SVV> war going on and anthrax about.

JS> SVV> Hey, if "this is the end" I'm gonna enjoy my last days. ;)

JS>Yeah, and like the big Washington dudes say (GW, Surgeon General,
JS>head of the Post
JS>-al Service, Guilliani...oops NY fat cat) go on about your business
JS>as usual, (if
JS>you become paralyzed with fear, the terrorists have won.) but be
JS>aware of what's
JS>going on. BTW, I am glad I live in a relatively insignificant
JS>midwestern town. :-)

I'm not adhering to any of their advices, I've simply come to MY idea 
that I'm not gonna die sad or crying. IF it happens...there is nothing 
_I_ can do about it...so I'm gonna LIVE and love and have a good time as
long as I can.

The "go about life as usual" governmental bullshit had/has NOTHING to do
with my current tack. Nothing at all. THEIR intent is to keep the 
economy going, which equals THEIR self interest. SCREW THEM! I'm into MY
and my wife's self interest and in my self interest in loving my 
fellow Man that is my impetus...not the economy.

JS>Is this kinda stuff off topic?

Hey, no one is here but me...you... and the crickets.

Better than nothin', IMO.
Better than nuttin'.

* CMPQwk 1.42 16554 * No more war debates for me, tanks.

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