Subj : New lurker in the echo To : Patrick Vittori From : George Pope Date : Wed Aug 13 2003 06:16 am PV> Know anyone who has cat tags? I needs some more. PV> Especially the "Cat Rule #xxx" ones. I want to make sure I PV> don't offend my master anymore than I already have. Actually, cats are excellent at domesticating people. Anything not nailed down is a cat toy. Bad or Missing Mouse Driver, Skin the Cat ? _ Cats *are* smarter than dogs! Eight cats won't pull a sled. Cats know how we feel. They don't really care, but they know. Devoted to the study of cat bathing as a martial art. Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? If sex doesn't scare the cat, you're not doing it right. I swear, lad, cats have nothing on dragons for cussed inquisitiveness. Machines used in demolition are called Cats. Coincidence? I think not! Mouse not found. Boot cat? (Y/n)_ Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something. Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness. Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing. Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines. Purrson: A male kitty. Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty. What do you mean, you _formatted_ the cat? Yeah, I love cats too. Want to trade recipes? ^@_ ^@_ ^@_ ^@_ (They're all sleeping now.) ^@_ ^@_ (They're both sleeping now.)  I'm a cat, hear me roar, I am to big to ignore.  -Garfield "...Green with apricot? That just might work!" -The Cat "A cat is a friend who will never betray you" "A cat is only domestic so far as suits its own needs." -RAH "A small bird or mouse left on the bed tells them you care." -A Cat. "A stitch in time saves nine." (Phrase often used by cat surgeons.) "Ack! Phfft! Thptpth!" -Bill the Cat "All cats are *not* grey at night. Endless variety..." -RAH "All of this generosity has made me tired!" -The Cat "And he'll come creepsy and tricksy and catch us!" -Gollum "Are you still mad I gave a mohawk to your cat?" -Weird Al "Bother," said @F as he pulled the cat off his face "Bother," said @F, as he fed the pidgeons to his cat. "Bother," said @F, as he stepped on the cat's tail. "But, Mom, I don't like cats." "Shutup and eat your dinner." "CATFOOD??!!?? You woke me up for a lousy can of CATFOOD??!!??" "CATS. CATS ARE NICE." -Death "Can you imagine 1,000 cats agreeing to do *anything*?" "Cat Owners; The Few, The Proud, The Confused" "Cats are around to remind us why we need opposable thumbs." "Cats are independent, by which I mean smart." -Dave Barry "Cats are the the definition of leasure." -Kipling "Cats" -by Ann Gora "Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse." -Heinlein "Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect." -s.w. "Did ya put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was burning" "Dignity? What's THAT???" -My Cat "Dogs and cats living together, real wrath of God type stuff." "Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." "Dogs come when called. Cats have answering machines..." "Eating is social, but when you diet you diet alone." -Garfield "Everybody wants to be a cat! "FOUR HOURS to bury a cat?" "Yes -it wouldn't hold still..." "Five fish! I'll be rich!" -Cat "Garfield, have you seen my new fern?" " Briefly." "Geordi, I cannot stun my cat." -Data "God Bless us cat lovers." "God made the cat so that we, for a moment, might caress the tiger." "Here, kitty, kitty" Said the 150 pound canary. "How am I looking? Looking *nice*!" -The Cat "I am hungry. Therefore I am." -Garfield "I don't do mornings." Garfield the cat "I got everything up to da part about `Now listen closely...'" -Cat "I need to put out the cat," said the fireman. "I promise to take good care of your cat." -Schr”dinger "I was a cat in my others lives." "I'd let you in if I could open this darn door." -Puss "I'm looking better than nice! I'm looking... dangerous!" -Cat "I'm so excited all six of my nipples are tingling." -The Cat "If you would know a man, observe how he treats a cat." -RAH "It's a cat book. You sniff the lines!" -The Cat -Nam "Let's strap a piece of buttered toast on the cat's back..." "Look at those newborn kittens," said Tom literally. "MEOW"...splat..."RUFF"...splat...(raining cats & dogs) "Meow culpa." -Something you'll never hear from a cat. "Meow" is like "Aloha", it can mean anything. "Never try to out stubborn a cat." -Lazarus Long "Oh, the cat got dead and we put it in a box..." "Peeping Tom" -A perverted cat on stilts. "Pop, the cat's gone bald." "Good, so has your mother." -Milo & Dad "Sand trap, sand box, what's the difference?" -Garfield on golf "See how I like to ???? filthy cat boxes" "Smelly cat, oh smelly cat, it's not your fault..." "Sorry, teacher! The cat ate my homework, then the dog ate the cat!" "Tell him he is a good cat. And a pretty cat." -Data "The ONLY good cat is a stir -fried cat." -Alf "The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." -Ernest Menaul "The cat was created when the lion sneezed." -Arab Myth "The cat's the only cat who knows where it's at!" "The fur will be with you, always." "The naming of cats is a serious matter..." -Eliot "The negatives? Uh, the dog ate 'em..." -Nowhere Cat "The scalded cat fears even cold water." ÄThomas Fuller "The wonderful thing about cats is their endless variety." -Eric Gurney I am the moderator of FIDONET's "FUNNY Jokes and Stories" echo (come on by!) :) I sign in peace, as a friend, <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope"(the Bishop of ROM!)) Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca Suggestions for joke conference happiness: 1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like! B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :) My Preferred Netmail address is: 1:153/307 --- PPoint 1.76 * Origin: Cyberpope pointing via the Milky Way! (1:153/307.11) .