Subj : Part of my story...
To   : ALL
From : David Mchugh
Date : Tue Sep 10 2002 01:01 am

Hello all,

I just wanted to qualify for a while about myself and my drinking and drugging. 
I am 26 and started drinking and drugging at 17. So I have been at it for 9 
years with about 14 months of sobriety mixed in there. I am currently sober now 
since July 8th, 2002. That's about 61 days.

The first thing I picked up was pot and loved it. I began smoking everyday, and 
thought the world and everything was in tune. I soon after found alcohol and 
began drinking often. My drinking was alcoholic from the start. If someone 
called me an alcoholic, I said, "Well I know I am." It was just something I did 
well. I drank Budwesier and Southern Confort. I liked going out to bars, but 
also drank at home. I did buy kegs and cases of beers for parties and hanging 
with my buddies.

My drinking and drugging was fairly evident of a problem. As I used morning noon 
and night. I entered college for one and half years at 18. I left to open my own 
business. That was successful and was offered a full time job as a result of my 
work. I planned on taking the position. At 21, I began having visions. This is 
after entering AA and spending 30 days off booze and drugs. I picked up again at 
then end of thrity days.

These visions were of Heaven and Hell. I saw beautiful visions of the Blessed 
Mother, Jesus, God the Father, the Holy Spirit, Saints, Angels, Fallen Angels, 
scenes of people's lives, and just about anything I could imagine. Except this 
wasn't my imagination. It was just too perfect. Well the hellish visions drove 
me crazy and I ended going down to the village in Manhattan with a knife to kill 
gays for money to drink.

This got me in the Hospital for the first time. Where they diagnosed me 
'schizophrenic.' I was later diagnosed schzo-affective, which means I had 
depression and mania as well.

I love life today and found the right medication to take.

The AA program has been a huge bonus to helping me stay on track. I have no 
plans to drink today, and haven't had one today. My two bits on the program are 
go to meetings; try not to concentrate on steps or anything out of your style in 
the beginning; just listen at meetings and the aura of what we are talking about 
with come through.

Don't feel you must make use of the slogans or steps as a part of early 
recovery. That is just sometimes too much to take on. Learning and listening 
will take you to the point you need to begin step work.

Sincerely,

David M.

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 * PW *

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