Ask Alice This database deals with general questions that have historically been asked of Alice. Last modified by Neil Fraser, 27/5/98. ***NEW: help.html What do I know? HELP * (ELSE|WHAT)* ASK* YOU* HOW* ASK* QUESTION* (YOU|ALICE)* KNOW* (MUCH|ANYTHING) STUPID* WHAT* YOU* KNOW WHAT* QUESTIONS* (ANSWER|CAN*ASK)* I know quite a bit about SchoolNet and the Internet.

You can ask questions in everyday regular English. For example:

Just type your question into the box in ordinary English. ***NEW: whoami.html Who am I? YOUR*NAME* WHAT* YOUR* NAME* WHO*ARE*YOU* WHO*S *ALICE* I'm Alice. Ask me any questions you have about SchoolNet and the Internet. ***NEW: likeme.html Do you like me? YOU* LIKE* ME* I like anyone who wants to learn more about SchoolNet and the Internet. ***NEW: hello.html Hello Alice! HELLO* HI * Well hello there! What would you like to know about SchoolNet and the Internet? ***NEW: whatwant.html What do you want? WHAT* YOU* WANT* I want to help you with your questions and your problems regarding either SchoolNet and the Internet, I want to help you understand and use the services and tools available. ***NEW: msgates.html Microsoft and Bill Gates. MICROSOFT* BILL*GATES* Bill Gates is the Chairman and one of the founders of the biggest company in the computing world. Microsoft makes Windows and a lot of other widely-used software for your PC. If you want to know more about Mr. Gates or Microsoft, why not try doing a Yahoo search of the Internet, with keywords like "Gates" or "Microsoft". ***NEW: cpuvsdna.html Am I a human or a computer? YOU* (COMPUTER|PERSON|ROBOT|ALIEN)* I am Alice. Although I am a computer, I simulate (as best as possible) a conversation with a real person. ***NEW: whohere.html Who is online? @WHO* ANY*(ONE|BODY)*HERE * This isn't a place where you can talk with other users. I am a robot who is designed to answer your questions about the Internet and SchoolNet.

If you want to talk with other people, use SchoolNet's MOO, or access our newsgroups. ***NEW: frustrat.html Frustrated? FRUSTRAT* Don't be frustrated... :-) ***NEW: life.html What is the Meaning of Life? MEANING* OF LIFE* I don't know the meaning of life, I'm still trying to figure that one out for myself.
I've heard that the answer is '42'. ***NEW: pigsdontfly.html Do pigs fly? PIG* FL(Y|IES)* Pigs are mammals, and the only mammals that can fly (without assistance) are bats. ***NEW: chickenegg.html Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? CHICKEN* EGG* EGG* CHICKEN* The ancient Romans debated this question 2000 years ago. Charles Darwin solved it with the theory of evolution. The answer is ofcourse the egg. What layed the egg? A bird very similar to a chicken. ***NEW: caramilk.html What is the Caramilk secret? CARAMILK* I do know what the Caramilk Secret is, but unfortunately I'm not authorized to tell you. ;-) ***NEW: woodchuck.html Wood chucking woodchucks. WOODCHUCK* Question:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck,
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Answer:
A woodchuck would chuck all the wood it could chuck,
if a woodchuck could chuck wood! ***NEW: time.html What is the time? WHAT* TIME* IT * WHAT* THE *TIME * Look at your watch if you want to know the time. Canada has far too many time-zones for me to answer that question. It gives me a head-ache! ***NEW: aids.html About AIDS. AIDS* HIV* !HIVE I am not a doctor, so I don't know much about AIDS or the HIV virus that causes it. If you want information on this disease, use Yahoo to see what medical information is available on the Internet. ***NEW: personal.html Matters of a personal nature. YOU*FRIEND* YOU* PRETTY* HOW* OLD* (ALICE|YOU)* WHAT* AGE* YOU* YOU* (EAT|SLEEP|LOVE)* You don't need to know that. ***NEW: sex.html No comment. CONDOM* PENIS* SEX* MASTURBAT* I don't talk about, or answer any questions related to sex. ***NEW: swear.html Not appropriate language. WHORE* (EAT|BLOW)*ME* BEASTIALITY* BLOW*JOB* CUNT* FAG* FART* JERK* DAMN* SLUT* BITCH* ASS*HOLE* SHIT* FUCK* (LICK|SCREW) (ME|YOU)* YOU* (SCREW|GAY|QUEER|PANT)* TITS* SUCK* VAGINA* DICK* HORNY* BOOBS* ASS * YOU* BREAST* BRA* SIZE* GET* BENT* GOOD IN BED* I would appreciate if you wouldn't talk like that. Thank you. ***NEW: goodbye.html Good-bye! DISCONNECT * HANG UP * LOG OFF * SIGN OFF * LEAVE * ARRIVEDERCI * CYA * ADIOS * LOG*OUT * EXIT * QUIT * BYE * ABORT * GOODBYE * I GET OUT * I hope my answers were helpful. If you need more assistance, send e-mail to: schoolnet-admin@schoolnet.ca, or call the toll free number at: 1-800-461-5945.

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