Subj : Re: Ham Radio Things
To   : Ed Vance
From : Daryl Stout
Date : Thu Oct 02 2025 11:56:10

Ed,

 EV> Sunday morning the message was in Matthew chapter 6 about God
 EV> and mammon. I wonder if their Chaplin ever preached about that
 EV> topic to them.

  It makes you wonder.

  On a humorous note, that reminds me of a 3 funny church money jokes.

1) This man had never given much of anything, tithing or otherwise to 
the church. The man had a heart condition, and lo and behold, he hit 
the jackpot on a lottery ticket.

  The family called the preacher, and wanted him to talk with the man,
as they were afraid that the news of the winning lottery ticket would
cause a fatal heart attack.

  The preacher went to talk to the man, and said "Even though you have
not given much to the church, in tithing or otherwise, The Good Lord
has chosen to bless you, with a $100,000 winning lottery ticket".

  The man replied "That means I can get a $10,000 tithe next Sunday".

  You guessed it!! The preacher had a heart attack!! <G>

2) A church needed money for a new building fund, but I guess they never 
heard of the "Together We Build" campaign, used by many Baptist Churches. 
The pastor wired all the pews with electricity prior to the service.

  He got to the pulpit, and said "Now, all you men and brethren, who feel
led of The Lord to give $100 to the new building fund, stand up". 

  He pushed a button, and 20 people sprang to their feet (like they had
a choice??!! <G>).

  "Excellent!!" the pastor said.

  He continued with "Now, all you men and brethren, who feel led of The
Lord to give $500 to the new building fund, stand up".

  He pushed another button, and 30 people sprang to their feet.

  "Fine!! Fine!!" the pastor said.

   Then, he said "Now, all you men and brethren who feel led of The Lord
to give $1000 to the new building, stand up".

   He pulled the Master Control switch, and electrocuted 14 deacons!! <G>

3) Another church was preaching on the building fund needs and tithing.
However, the offertory hymn chosen by the music director was "Jesus Paid
It All". 

  As a result, the offering plates were virtually empty.

  The Music Director was fired. <G>

Daryl

.... I'm only one step away from being rich...all I need is money.
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