X-Google-Language: ENGLISH,ASCII-7-bit X-Google-Thread: f996b,e1c929a4610a7d91 X-Google-Attributes: gidf996b,public From: John Nunley Subject: Dust Off Your Funny Bone Date: 1997/11/25 Message-ID: <347B8968.40D0@goodnet.com> X-Deja-AN: 292695995 Reply-To: nunley@goodnet.com Organization: GoodNet Newsgroups: alt.ascii-art Welcome To... _______ _ |__ __| | | | | |__ ___ | | | '_ \ / _ \ .-. _ ______ | | | | | | __/ ____ ( `. .' ) | ____| |_| |_| |_|\___| | _ \ `\ ` .' | |__ _ _ _ __ _ __ _ _ | |_) | ___ _ __ ___ | | | __| | | | '_ \| '_ \| | | | | _ < / _ \| '_ \ / _ \ | | | | | |_| | | | | | | | |_| | | |_) | (_) | | | | __/ | 66|_ |_| \__,_|_| |_|_| |_|\__, | |____/ \___/|_| |_|\___| | ,__) __/ | |(,_| |___/ | | | \_, This is a sample of the humor and art of The Funny Bone, | | a free weekly e-mailing of jokes and funny stories, il- | | lustrated with the original ASCII artwork of Joan Stark. .' \ If you enjoy this and would like to have The Funny Bone ( , ) e-mailed to you each week, free of charge, then follow '--' '-' the subscription instructions in the signature. Who Were The Pilgrims? This is a selection from a book called "Then Some Other Things Happened", a collection of short pieces about history written by eighth graders and compiled by Bill Lawrence, a teacher and columnist. .:. .:. \|/ .:. The Pilgrims were a _ \\,/// \|/ | \|/ bunch of English _/_\_ ___ \\|/// <#> | \|<#> | wonderers who (") /.-.\ (")\\ \|<#>|/ \| / wanted to _ //U\\ |(")| //-\\\ | \| /<#>/ worship as ( ) _ \|_|/ /)v(\ <#>_/|_|/\\ \ |/ |/ \| they wanted (_` )_('> | | \/~\/ |||\\\ \| | |/ to. They (__,~_)8 ||| //_\\ ||| \\ |/ \| / \| / escaped jgs _YY_ _[|]_ /_____\ _[|]_ \| |/ |/ the Church """"""""'""'""'"""""'""""'""'"""'"""""''"'"""^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ of England and came over here because they heard that American churches were dif- ferent. The May Flower was the ship with which they came in. It didn't have a bathroom on board so there was quite an odor. Priscilla Mullins was the captain. First the Pilgrims had gone to Holland but left when their children started developing customs there. After a stopover at Williamsburg when a large storm blew them off course they landed on a big, slimey rock in Massachusetts. They spent the winter there. Before they got off the ship even they drew up an agreement for the people of Plymouth to agree on the voting for governors and congress- men. They kept this hid in the May Flower Compact. Lord Delaware was elected the first governor of Plymouth Rock. .-""""-._.'| A friendly Indian named Rhone Oak / '.| | showed the Pilgrams how to plant / | / ( corn by putting it in the ground. | -= | /| ) ( | |/`< ) ) Rhone Oak had been the ; -=| _| ______ first Indian to come to \ \ / .' `. /) America and always wanted '._ _.-""-.< .' `\/) a beer. He traveled / / \ / ___ .--'`/| around with Miles Standy _ / | '-._( ____\ (____/_/=, and translated language. ( \| \ -=/ /--;==============` He knew enough English to ._,;'\==='-,..__/__/__.' interupt. `'--/,/ || ' \ / | / || ' \ Another interupter for the white man was \/ . || ; Squanto, who was called that because he jgs / / || | was so short. Squanto drew up a declara- | . || | tion to give the settlers freedom of / '=------| goverment in the new land. The Pilgrams / ' ; ; ;| gave the Indians thanks for all this and `-.___.___.___.___._/ that's what started Thanksgiving. The Pilgrams then appointed | But if these people wouldn't Thanksgiving as a national | had of come to America the holiday. Abraham Lincoln | United States wouldn't later pronounced it and gave | \ be like it is / it to them and it soon became | `I=. today. .=I` a national holiday all around | /|\ `"=I._ _.I="` /|\ the world. | |/|\| /|\ `"=I="` /|\ |/|\| | |/|\| |/|\| /|\ |/|\| |/|\| These people always wore old | |/#\| |/|\| |/|\| |/|\| |/#\| shoes with a big buckel on the | |###| |/#\| |/|\| |/#\| |###| top of them. The men wore | \#/ |###| |/#\| |###| \#/ pants that only came a little | ` \#/ |###| \#/ ` ways past the knees and the | ` |###| ` jgs girls wore funny bonets. | \#/ ` _ .-. John Nunley ( `. .' ) `. ` /' Write to to learn more | | about the Funny Bone and to have subscription | | instructions automatically e-mailed to you. _|66 | (__, | For more humor, visit the Funny Bone Website L_,)| http://www.funnybone.com | | ,_/ | ASCII Art by Joan Stark | | http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/ | | / '. The Funny Bone is powered by a GoSite Internet Server ( , ) http://www.funnybone.com/gs jgs '-' '--'