X-Google-Language: ENGLISH,ASCII-7-bit X-Google-Thread: 10ac39,454fe46bbe747b99,start X-Google-Attributes: gid10ac39,public X-Google-Thread: 10bfc7,454fe46bbe747b99,start X-Google-Attributes: gid10bfc7,public X-Google-Thread: f996b,461c722d43f8e6ad X-Google-Attributes: gidf996b,public From: Dave Bird---St Hippo of Augustine Subject: Sloths and the History of Man Date: 1996/10/24 Message-ID: X-Deja-AN: 191887702 distribution: world x-nntp-posting-host: xemu.demon.co.uk references: organization: 1st Canine Chapel of Bob Dobbs Dog (Church of the SubGenius) mime-version: 1.0 newsgroups: alt.ascii-art,alt.fan.lemurs,alt.religion.scientology

#01: The History of Man Song
(''El Rotundo had some clams...'')
tune is ''Old MacDonald Had a Farm''


In LRon Hubbard's book ''The Evolution of Man'', he states that we evolved from clams, gulping shellfish called ''BooHoos'', sloths that fell from trees, etc.

[O]LD Rotundo had some clams, As Ron says man evolved;
And they were on the path to man, As Ron says man evolved. With a...
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, everywhere a SnapSnap,
Old Rotundo had some clams, As Ron says man evolved.

Vs.2
Boo-HOOS and weepers next we were, As Ron says man evolved;
That gulped and sobbed and gasped for air, As Ron says man evolved. With a...
BooHoo here, BooHoo there, here a Boo, there a Boo, everywhere a BooHoo;
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, everywhere a SnapSnap;
Boo-HOOS and weepers next we were, As Ron says man evolved.

Vs.3
Then were Sloths that feel from trees, As Ron says man evolved;
And hung arse-upwards by their knees, As Ron says man evolved. With a...
WhoopsThud here, WhoopsThud there, here a Whoops, there a Whoops, everywhere a WhoopsThud;
BooHoo here, BooHoo there, here a Boo, there a Boo, everywhere a BooHoo;
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, everywhere a SnapSnap;
then were Sloths that feel from trees, As Ron says man evolved. 


                =-/                                                   
 \            \\ /                                               /~~ ~
 \     /_  //-<_ \\ /=-//=-//=-///=-///=-/                    /~~
 \   / \|//-= / - ////~~~                 !                  {
 \\  \////_                (((       !                        \  _-
  \ \\\//  /            !   " `,   !   )))                     ~~  \\ //
  \ \\\////                 /"/       |' /                          | |
 \ |||//              !    """|        |""                          | |
  |||||                    |"||        \"|    !                 _-_
 |||||                     "" "        |"|\                  /~~   ~~\
 |)|(|//          !       /""~\\.      /" ""~,            /~~         ~ 
 ||||(|                  ""~""""`"",~`~"!!"!" \          (
 ||||||                  /"""""/""! "~""" "" "~",         \  _-     -_
 |||0||                 //\""!!""~"!"!"\"""/~!~, C~"~P     ~~  \\ //  ~
 |)|(|//           !   // !!"""""! "~ " !!"!! "," O o "         | |    
 ||||(|                ||   !!"!!~!!~||"  !     "" Y ""         | |(__)
 ||||||                \\     !  !  !            `"U"'          | |(oo)
 |||0||          !      \\                                      | | \/ 
 ||||||                  \\  0))                               // \\  
 ||||||                   \`-~/~                              
 ||||||                    `~'
Vs.4
Next Piltdown Man who had big teeth, As Ron says man evolved;
And with those teeth he ate his wife, As Ron says man evolved. With a...
ChompChomp here, ChompChomp there, here a Chomp, there a Chomp, everywhere a ChompChomp;
WhoopsThud here, WhoopsThud there, here a Whoops, there a Whoops, everywhere a WhoopsThud;
BooHoo here, BooHoo there, here a Boo, there a Boo, everywhere a BooHoo;
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, everywhere a SnapSnap;
Next Piltdown Man who had big teeth, As Ron says man evolved.

Vs.5
And now as Humans here we stand, As Ron says man evolved;
If this lot's true then I'll be damned, As Ron says man evolved. With a...
StuffThat here, StuffThat there, here a Stuff, there a Stuff, everywhere a StuffThat;
ChompChomp here, ChompChomp there, here a Chomp, there a Chomp, everywhere a ChompChomp;
WhoopsThud here, WhoopsThud there, here a Whoops, there a Whoops, everywhere a WhoopsThud;
BooHoo here, BooHoo there, here a Boo, there a Boo, everywhere a BooHoo;
SnapSnap here, SnapSnap there, here a Snap, there a Snap, everywhere a SnapSnap;
And now as Humans here we stand, AS RON SAYS....MAN E...VOLVED. 2 --- 3 --- 4 ---- 

Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, 
 Snapitty snap, on the seashore,  yoddom-de-dom,
Oh, Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, 
 Snapitty snap, on the seashore?

There's     boohhos-and      weepers-and 
            all-sorts-of     creatures-from
            which-Elron      says-we-e---------volved;
With        engram-from      seaweed,oh
            what-more-could  we-need,but
            O-Ts-that        give-us-a         cold?            

Oh, Snap why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, Snapitty  
 snap, on the seashore,  yoddom-de-dom,
Oh, Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, 
 Snapitty snap, on the seashore?

((*) snap heavily with hinged white toilet seat, dustbin lids, metal
casserole or whatever...or, failing that, make a snapping sign with
thumb & forefinger)

  All-the little cults     have    their own tricks, like
  selling the Watchtow'r   for     Jehovah's wits:
     the Mormons morm      and     the Shakers shake;
     the Moonies moon      and     the Quakers quake, but...

....Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, Snapitty
snap, on the seashore,  yoddom-de-dom,
Oh, Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, Snapitty
snap, on the seashore?

Oh,         down-at-the      dem-o--please 
            tid-y--your      hair-do--and
            be-sure-to       straighten-your    tie;
There's     always--Sci------ay-nos----who
            like--tak-ing    pho-tos---to 
            make-sure-you're I-den-ti----fied!            
            
Oh, Snap(click(*))why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap
snap, Snapitty snap, with a camera,  yoddom-de-dom,
Oh, Snap---why do those clams go Snap,  Snapitty SnapSnap snap, Snapitty
snap, ON......THE.........SEA----SHORE?  
                                         yoddom-de-doddom-de-DOM (BOM!)



-- 
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  X E M U *                     Who Drowned   theJUDGe's Dog ?
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