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From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Warning: Kibo's new .signature to be released.
Date: 1996/12/08
Message-ID: <kibo-ya023580000812960046210001@news.std.com>#1/1
X-Deja-AN: 202951417
sender: news@world.std.com (Mr Usenet Himself)
followup-to: alt.religion.kibology
content-type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
x-kibo-machine: Vannevar Bush's Memex & Gene Roddenberry's Memorator
x-battlestar-galactica-date: 3671 centons, 79 microns, .01 hectars
organization: welcome datacomp
mime-version: 1.0
reply-to: someone-other-than-kibo@world.std.com
newsgroups: 
 alt.folklore.computers,alt.destroy.microsoft,alt.ascii-art,alt.fan.warlord,alt.artcom,alt.religion.kibology


All existing copies of Kibo's .signatures are being recalled and recycled
into post-consumer by-products. My old ASCII and PostScript .signatures are
obsolete. I have gone Golden Master on the footprint of the form factor of
DR1 pre-alpha seeding of DOT SIGNATURE 96, "CHICAGOPLAND". Once the final
user installation issues and on-line documentation pass my Software QA's
Zero Defects standard to become ISO compliant, it will become available to
end users. It is in 100% native code and is Milspec (this means you cannot
export it.)

It is more than a .signature. It is an entire operating system designed
around the principle that all computer users are more productive if they
view my .sig constantly. It requires a 39-dot monitor, a 39-dot FQDN with
256-bit bandwidth over a multi-homing intranet AND IT EATS FLESH.

It is too large to attach here (it's gotten three times bigger since the
last edition I've shown people), but the release schedule is proceeding and
you should see it in alt.religion.kibology in a few short days. 

Please do not leak the information disclosed here to my loyal minions in
alt.religion.kibology. I have told the serfs what to expect and they are
awaiting. You will merely cause panic and confusion by posting true
information. Do not disrupt my carefully controlled pattern of hype or YOU
WILL BE PUT IN A BOX WITH BILL GATES AND SHAKEN. This is the most important
.signature ever posted to Usenet and it will redefine the nature of
communication. This .sig make me rich!

Unfortunately, cultural norms prohibit me from attaching it to every one of
my posts, but this will change over time. Thanks to my .sig, humanity will
evolve larger eyeballs, and gigantic .sigs will look as short as a
knock-knock joke.

                                   -- K.
                                   "Who's there?"
                                   "A big fat .signature!"
                                   "Wow! We love you, .signature!
                                   Here, have some money!"