Subject: Compendium of ASCII Insults Date: Thu, 10 Apr 1997 20:02:18 -0700 From: Diane Wenner Reply-To: ASCIIArt -- Forum for discussing and sharing line printer artwork      To: Multiple recipients of list ASCIIART -----------------SPOILER------------------ There are many innocent insults in here such as a pie in the face; there is also a series of versions of "the finger" and several insults which some might find offensive. If you are sensitive about such things, read further at your own peril; you were warned up front. Diane Smilies-insults: -]= right-handed F.Y. =[- left-handed F.Y. :-C= showing tongue == ##### # # #### # # # # #### # # # # # # # # # # ##### #### # ### # # # # ## # # ### # # # # # # # # ### # # # # # # # # ####### # ## # ###### # # # ## ## # # # ### # # # # # # # ### == by Radius/tNv . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .mmmm... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ##########bmm.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ################bm. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'.'.'. "BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB .'.'.'.'.'.' ' '.' ' ' '.'.' ' ' '.'.'.'.'. .'.'.'.' 9BBBBBP"9BBBBBBBBP ' ' '.' .mmm. '.mmm. '.' ... ' '.'.'.'. .'.'.'.'. 9P" .. EEEEEEF ' .mmm. ' dEEEEEE.EEEEEEE ' .dEEEEb. '.'.'. .'.'.'.'. ..dEEEb EEEEEEF dEEEEEEE. 9EEEEEEEE EEEE .EE' EEEEb :.:.:. .:.:.:.' .dFFF''FFFFFFFFF dFFF''FFFFF FFFFFFFF FFFFFF FFF FFFFFF .:.:.: :.:.:. .dFFFF . FFFFFFE dFFF FFFFF. FFFFFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFF .:.:.:. .:.:.: TTTTTT.TTTTTTTTTT TTT TTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTT .. :.:.: :.:.:.. 'TTTTTTTTTTTTTT .TTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTT . llTTTTTTTT .:.:. .:.:.:.:. llllllllllll lllllllllllll'.llllll.''''' ... ''llllll' :.:.: :::.:::.:.. 'iiiiiiii .. iiiiiiiiiii'.iiiiiiiii :::.:::.:... '' .:.:::. :.:::.:::.::. '::::: .::. :::::::::' ::::::::::. .:::.:::.:::.:.::::.:: ::::::::::::::. ''' .::::. ''.:.''.: '.:.:.:.:.: :::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.....:::: :.:.:.' ' :::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::........:::::::::::::::::::::::::: == EEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAA TTTTTTTTTT EE EEE AA AA TT TT TT EE AA AA TT EEEEE AAAAAAAA TT EE AA AA TT EE EEE AA AA TT EEEEEEEEE AAAA AAAA TTTTTT SSSSSSSS HHHH HHHH IIII TTTTTTTTTT SS SS HH HH II TT TT TT SS HH HH II TT SSSSSSSS HHHHHHHH II TT SS HH HH II TT SS SS HH HH II TT SSSSSSSS HHHH HHHH IIII TTTTTT source unknown -- ******** ******* ** ******* ** /**///// **/////** **** /**////** /** /** ** //** **//** /** /**/** /******* /** /** ** //** /** /**/** /**//// /** /** **********/** /**/** /** //** ** /**//////**/** ** // /** //******* /** /**/******* ** // /////// // // /////// // Artist: Wotan -- / /' `\ \ \ ( )( ) / \{~~~~~~~~}/ { } { }{ } { }{ } {- }{- } _| || |_ \[ ][ ]/ Artist: VampLadee -- ____ / /' `\ \ \ ( )( ) / \{~~~~~~~~}/ { /\ } { } { } { } { } {- } { -} _| | | |_ \[ ] [ ]/ Artist: VampLadee -- /"\ |\./| | | | | |>*<| | | /'\| |/'\ /'\| | | | | %%%%% | |\ | | | | | \ | * * * * |> > | / | / | / \ | |--/'''\--| | |--+= | | |--\.../--| Source unknown -- _ / \ |\_/| |---| | | | | _ |=-=| _ _ / \| |/ \ / \| | | ||\ | | | | | \> | | | | | \ | - - - - |) ) | / \ / \ / \ / Source unknown -- _______ / _____ \ M-: / \ M-: M-: \_____/ M-: M-: M-: M-: _____ M-: M-: ----- M-: M-: ------- M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: _____ M-: M-: ------- M-: ______M-: ---- M-:______ / M-: ------ M-: \ M-: M-: --- M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-:_____ M-: M-: M-: M-: \ M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: M-: ________ M-: / \ M-: M-: / \ M-: \ M-: / \ M-: \ \__ \ M-: M-: \ \M-: M-: \ M-: M-: \ \ M-: \ \ M-: \ M-: \ M-: \ M-: \ / \___ / Source unknown -- : ________ : ___)_________ : _____*______#) : __) : ________) Source unknown -- . _ |_| | | _| |_ _| | | | _ | | | | |' | | | \_ / \_ / | | |___| Source unknown -- : : /"\ : |\./| : | | : | | : | | : | | : /'\| |/'\ : /'\| | | | : | %%%%% | |\ : | | | | | \ : | |> > : | / : | / : | / : | | : | | : |--/'''\--| : | |--+= | | : |--\.../--| Source unknown -- _ I I I~I _ I~I _ I-I/I_II-I/~/ \~~\/`-' `-'`-`-' \) ) ~/_ /~~ ) \_ Y )' \ ^ / |~ ~| Source unknown -- .###, .###$ .'"$$ , ;$$ ; ;O$ ;;;$$; ; $$$$$ .,oo ';;$$i ;;;$$ ;;;$$;,;$$, ;;;$$ ;;;$$; ;;$$'$$ ;',;;$$ ;;;$$$ ;;$$ ;;$ ; ;;;$$ ;;$$$$ ;;$$$ ;;$ ; ;o$$;;;$$$$$ ;;;$$$;;;$ ; ;;o$$$;;$$$$$;;;$$$$;;;$$ ; ;;oo$O;;;$$$;;;;$$;;;$$$ ; oooooooo$$$$OO$$$OO$$$' '; ooooooo$$$$oo$$$oo$$$ ; oooooo$$$$o$$$$o$$$ ; oooooo$$$o$$$o$$$ ; ooooo$$$$$$$$$$ ; oooo$$$$$$$$$ ; oo$$$$$$$$$$$$ Source unknown -- .::. .##$ .'"$$ , ;$$ , ;$$ ; ;$$ ; ;O$ ;;;$$; ;;o$$$i ; $$$$$ .,oo ';;$$i ;;;$$ ;;;$$;,;$$, ;;;$$ ;;;$$; ;;$$'$$ ;',;;$$ ;;;$$$ ;;$$ ;;$ ; ;;;$$ ;;$$$$ ;;$$$ ;;$ ; ;o$$;;;$$$$$ ;;;$$$;;;$ ; ;;o$$$;;$$$$$;;;$$$$;;;$$ ; ;;oo$O;;;$$$;;;;$$;;;$$$ ; oooooooo$$$$OO$$$OO$$$' '; ooooooo$$$$oo$$$oo$$$ ; oooooo$$$$o$$$$o$$$ ; oooooo$$$o$$$o$$$ ; ooooo$$$$$$$$$$ ; oooo$$$$$$$$$ ; oo$$$$$$$$$$$$ Source unknown -- _ _ |_| |_| | | /^^^\ | | _| |_ (| "o" |) _| |_ _| | | | _ (_---_) _ | | | |_ | | | | |' | _| |_ | `| | | | | | | / \ | | \ / / /(. .)\ \ \ / \ / / / | . | \ \ \ / \ \/ / ||Y|| \ \/ / \__/ || || \__/ () () || || ooO Ooo Source unknown -- /_\ I~I _ I I //\ I I /~ / (=) _ (= /~\I I/~\ _ | II II II I/~\ | II II II II I ( II II II II I \ ^ ^ ^ ^/ \ / \ I I I I I I I Source unknown == +-------------------------------------+ ! _ ! ! { } ! ! | | | ! | | | ! .-.! !.-. ! ! .-! ! ! !.-. ! ! ! ! ! ; ! ! \ ; ! ! \ ; ! ! ! : ! ! ! | ! ! | | ! ! ! ! ! +-------------------------------------+ Figure 1. source unknown == ******* ** ******* **** ** ** ** /**////**/** **/////** /**/** /**/** ** /** /**/** ** //**/**//** /**/** ** /******* /** /** /**/** //** /**/**** /**//// /** /** /**/** //**/**/**/** /** /** //** ** /** //****/**//** /** /******** //******* /** //***/** //** // //////// /////// // /// // // Artist: Wotan Definition: "Plonk is the imaginary sound of someone hitting the bottom of the bit bucket. It usually means that the person doing the plonk has just killfiled whoever got plonked." Wotan == OK, how about... 888 d8P 888 888 d8P 888 888 d8P 888 888d88K .d88b. 888d888 88888b. 888 .d88b. .d88b. 88888b. 8888888b d8P Y8b 888P" 888 "88b 888 d88""88b d88""88b 888 "88b 888 Y88b 88888888 888 888 888 888 888 888 888 888 888 888 888 Y88b Y8b. 888 888 d88P 888 Y88..88P Y88..88P 888 d88P 888 Y88b "Y8888 888 88888P" 888 "Y88P" "Y88P" 88888P" 888 888 888 888 888 -cfbd/figlet- 888 Definition: "Kerploop" is the sound...real or imaginary...of someone hitting the bottom of their own killfile. == ========================================== | ,dP""8a "888888b, d8b "888b ,888" | | 88b " 888 d88 dPY8b 88Y8b,8888 | | `"Y8888a 888ad8P'dPaaY8b 88 Y88P888 | | a, Y88 888 dP Y8b 88 YP 888 | | `"8ad8P'a888a a88a;*a888aa88a a888a | | ;*;;;;*;;;*;;;*,, | | _,---'':::';*;;;*;;;*;;*d;, | | .-' ::::::::::';*;;*;dII; | | .' ,<<<,. :::::::::::::::ffffff`. | | / ,<<<<<<<<,::::::::::::::::fffffL,\ | | .,<<<<<<<<<;,::::::::::fffKKIP | | | ``<<<<<<>>>>;,::::fffKKIPf ' | | \ `mYMMV?;;;;;;;\>>>>>>>>>,YIIPP"` / | | `. "":;;;;;;;;;i>>>>>>>>>>>>>, ,' | | `-._``":;;;sP'`"?>>>>>=========. | | `---..._______...|<[Hormel | | | `=========' fL| ========================================== Artist: Felix Lee -- ========================================================================== Dear: [ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Loser [ ] Fed [ ] AOLer/Euronetter/PIer [ ] Dork [ ] indy.netter [ ] ix.netcom.com er [ ] Pervert [ ] [ ] Me too er [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis [ ] Spammer [ ] Freak [ ] FLAMENET [ ] Other: Unbearably self-righteous person You Are Being Flamed Because: [ ] You posted a "test" in a newsgroup other than alt.test/nl.test [ ] You posted warez in pieces LESS than 5000 lines [ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group [ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply [ ] You continued a long, stupid thread [ ] You started an off-topic thread [ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message [ ] You said "me too" to something [ ] You don't know which group to post in [ ] You suck [ ] You brag about things that never happened [ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks [ ] You posted a (phone-sex) ad [ ] You posted something totally uninteresting [ ] You crossposted [ ] You posted a message all written in CAPS [ ] You posted racism shit [ ] I don't like your tone of voice [ ] I think you might be a member of CO$ [ ] I think you might be a fed To Repent, You Must: [ ] Give up your AOL/Euronet/Planet Internet account [ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it [ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor [ ] Actually post something relevant [ ] Read the f****** FAQ [ ] Be Pat Buchanan's love slave [ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month [ ] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup [ ] Post your tests to alt.test/nl.test In Closing, I'd Like to Say: [ ] Blow me [ ] Get a life [ ] Never post again [ ] I pity your dog [ ] Go to hell [ ] I think your IQ must be 7 [ ] Take your s*** somewhere else [ ] Learn to post or f*** off [ ] Do us all a favor and jump into some industrial equipment [ ] See how far your tongue will fit into the electric outlet [ ] All of the above End of Flame. ) ( ( ( ( ) () @@ ) (( ( ( ( )( @@ ( )) ) ( ( ( ( ()( /---\ (()( ( _______ ) ) )(@ !O O! )@@ ( ) ) ) < ____) ) ( ( )( ()@ \ o / (@@@@@ ( ()( ) /--| |( o| ( ) ) ((@@(@@ !o! @@@@(@@@@@)() ( | > \___| ) ( @)@@)@ /---\-/---\ )@@@@@()( ) | /---------+ (@@@@)@@@( // /-----\ \\ @@@)@@@@@( . | | \ =========______/|@@@@@@@@@@@@@(@@@ // @ /---\ @ \\ @(@@@(@@@ . . | \ \\=========------\|@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ O @@@ /-\ @@@ O @@(@@)@@ @ . | \ \----+--\-))) @@@@@@@@@@ !! @@@@ % @@@@ !! @@)@@@ .. . | |\______|_)))/ . @@@@@@ !! @@ /---\ @@ !! @@(@@@ @ . . \__========== * . @@ /MM /\O O/\ MM\ @@@@@@@. . | |-\ \ ( . @ !!! !! \-/ !! !!! @@@@@ . | | \ \ ) . . @@@@ !! !! .(. @. .. . | | \ \ ( / .( . \)). ( |O )( O! @@@@ . ) . | | / / ) ( )). (( .) !! ((( !! @@ (. ((. . . | | / / () )) )) .( ( ( ) ). ( !! )( !! ) (( )) .. | |_< / ( ) ( ( ) ) (( ) )).) ((/ | ( | \( )) ((. ). ____<_____\\__\__(___)_))_((_(____))__(_(___.oooO_____Oooo.(_(_)_)((_ Have a nice day, ========================================================================== Artist: P.r.i.m.a.l == ^ | | @#####@ (### ###)-. .(### ###) \ / (### ###) ) (=- .@#####@|_--" /\ \_|l|_/ (\ (=-\ |l| / \ \.___|l|___/ /\ |_| / (=-\._________/\ \ / \._________/ # ---- # # __ # \########/ Go Ahead, make my day!!! == This one is by Brian T. Odom... (btodom) . _/ / . _-" ( . \ / ( _ | SUCK MY BUTT-TORPS!! . -- BOOM -- o o o o o o | / | . / \ \__ \_ _/ == .dMMMb dMMMMb dMP .aMMMb dMMMMMMP dMP dMP" VP dMP.dMP dMP dMP"dMP dMP amr VMMMb dMMMMP" dMP dMMMMMP dMP dMP dP .dMP dMP dMP dMP dMP dMP VMMMP" MP dMMMMMP dMP dMP dMP dMP {{ - ._ /#} `. ------------ /# #{ `. _______________ / # #} `. ) / # #{ _ _ `. / ---------- / # #} `. / _________ \ # #{ Q`. / \ # #} Q} (_ , \ # #{ Q` ) \ # #} `. ( \ # #{ / } |_._ \ # #} / `. - ----------- \ # #{ } ) ___________________ \ # #} .' _- -------- \ # #{ { |` \ # #} .' ( \ # #{ .' ) ______________ \_______#_#}} / ( == ':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':. `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; .,-::::: ... .::::::. . : ::: .,-::::: ,;;;'````' .;;;;;;;. ;;;` ` ;;,. ;;; ;;; ,;;;'````' [[[ ,[[ \[[, '[==/[[[[, [[[[, ,[[[[, [[[ [[[ $$$ $$$, $$$ ''' $ $$$$$$$$"$$$ $$$ $$$ `88bo,__,o, "888,_ _,88P 88b dP 888 Y88" 888o 888 `88bo,__,o, "YUMMMMMP" "YMMMMMP" "YMmMY" MMM M' "MMM MMM "YUMMMMMP" .:: . .::: ::: . : ::::::::::. ;;;;;;; ';;, ;; ;;;' ;;; ;;,. ;;; `;;;```.;;; _______ '[[, [[, [[' [[[ [[[[, ,[[[[, `]]nnn]]' /\ o o o\ Y$c$$$c$P $$$ $$$$$$$$"$$$ $$$"" _______ /o \ o o o\_______ "88"888 888 888 Y88" 888o 888o /\ o o \ < >------> o /| "M "M" MMM MMM M' "MMM YMMMb /o \ o o \ \ o/ o /_____/o| < >------> \/______/ |oo| \ o/ o / | o |o/ ... ... ::: :::::::::::: \/______/ |_______|/ .;;;;;;;. ;; ;;; ;;;;;;;;'''' _______ ,--------, ,[[ \[[, [[' [[[ [[ /\ o o \ / o /| $$$, $$$ $$ $$$ $$ /o \ o o \ /__ ____/ o| "888,_ _,88P 88 .d888 88, < >------> | o | | "YMMMMMP" "YmmMMMM"" MMM \ o/ o / | o |o/ \/______/ |o |/ '--------' ':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':.':.:':. `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; `;' `; == From: cfbd@southern.co.nz (Colin Douthwaite) Newsgroups: alt.ascii-art Subject: Re: Bull request. Date: 19 Jul 1996 19:09:31 GMT / \ /X/ \X\ |XX\ _____ /XX| |XXX\ _/ \_ /XXX|___________ \XXXXXXX XXXXXXX/ \\\ \XXXX / \ XXXXX/ \\\ | 0 0 | \ | | \ \ / |______// \ / | | O_O | \ | \ _ / \________________ | | | | | \ / No Bullshit, / | / | \______/ Please... \ | \ | \ | \ | __| |__| | __| |__| | |___||___| |___||___| +---------------------------+ | | | NO CRAPPING | | | | __ __ | | \ \/ / | | > < | | / /\ \ | | /_/ \_\ | | | | (___) | | (o o) | | /--------\ / | | * o| ||O | | ||,----|| | | ooo^^ ^^ | | | | | +---------------------------+ -cfbd- +----------------------------+ | | | | | ACHTUNG ! | | | | KRAPPEN VERBOTEN | | | | __ __ | | \ \ / / | | \ \ / / | | > < | | / / \ \ | | / / \ \ | | /_/ \_\ | | | | (___) | | (o o) | | /--------\ / | | * o| ||O | | ||,----|| | | ooo^^ ^^ | | | | | +----------------------------+ -cfbd- +----------------------------+ | | | | | | | NO BULLSHIT !!! | | | | __ __ | | \ \ / / | | \ \ / / | | > < | | / / \ \ | | / / \ \ | | /_/ \_\ | ! | | | | (___) | | (o o) | | /--------\ / | | * o| ||O | | ||,----|| | | ooo^^ ^^ | | | | | +----------------------------+ -cfbd- == The fleecy cloud may kiss the sky. The rose may kiss the butterfly. The morning dew may kiss the grass. And you my friend may... . . | | j : l / \ / \ Y . Y | | | l "----~Y~----" ! \ | / Y | Y -Row | I | ->Cheeky<- Artist: Rowan Crawford == __ __ __ __ __ ______ ______ __ __ ____ __ __ ____ __ __ (( \ || || || || | || | | || | || || || || || || || || \\ ||==|| || || || || ||==|| ||== ||==|| ||== || || \_)) || || \\__// || || || || ||___ || || ||___ ||__| ||__| __ __ ____ ____ ____ ____ __ __ || ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ || || || \\ // \\ || || || // || / //_/ // / // / //_/ // || || ||_// (( ___ ||== ||== ||<< / ___ // / //___ / ___ // \\__// || // \\__|| ||___ ||___ || \\ [] /_// /_// /_____// /_// /_// ==