ASCII Art - ASCII Comics - The Adventures of Top Hat Man _______ | _____==|>=-D \_____/ _ _ (-8< (-=<|) |_ _| ___ ___ | |_| | ___ || |\ /| ___ ____ | | | / \ | \ | | / \|[ ] | \/ | / \|| \ | | | [ ] || ] | | _ || [ ] | || | || [ ] || || | |_| \___/ | _/ |_| |_| \___/\ || | \/ | \___/\| || | | | ! |_| "It's stupendous!" -|- -@- ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,, /|\ / \ : EPISODES : : STORY : : MORE! : /|\ '''''''''''''' ''''''''''' ''''''''''' |------------------------------------------------------------------| "[This comic] is [brilliant! Very funny!]" - The New York Times * "[Top Hat Man] ... owns!" - MC Chris * "[A must read for all in need of] a [good laugh!]" - Wired Magazine * "[Read Top Hat Man,] savvy?" - Captain Jack Sparrow * _ _ / _ _ _ ___ / |\ | / /\ |\ / / / | / / | | /\ \ | | - |/ | \ || || |- \ |- | |- | | | || |\| \_ | | / \/ |/ \_ / \_ \_ \_ \_ | | \/ | \ / ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, : T H E S E Q U E L : ''''''''''''''''''''''''''' : : - THM2: Episode 3: Top Hat Man Meets the Elite Hackers : : - THM2: Episode 2: Top Hat Man and the Disappearing Act : : - THM2: Episode 1: Top Hat Man Meets the Chronopractors : ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, : T H E O R I G I N A L M I S T A K E : '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' : : - THM: Episode 10b: Bland Finale : : - THM: Episode 10a: Anybody Home? : : - THM: Episode 9: Encounter with a Third Kind : : - THM: Episode 8: One False Step : : - THM: Episode 7: Prime Time : : - THM: Episode 6: My Top Hat Man : : - THM: Episode 5: Journey Through the Center of the Earth : : - THM: Episode 4: Fly Me to the Moon... : : - THM: Episode 3: Oh My, I Seem to be a Pie! : : - THM: Episode 2: The Warez Aliens : : - THM: Episode 1: The Game World : ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' * Words contained in brackets are inserted for fabricaction purposes only, and are not actually contained in the original quotation. ______________________________________________________________________ _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 1: The Game World Hmmm... I need something... what is it... ==|=-) - its not candy... not speeding along with my tophat... It's playing video games on my computer! That's it! *BLEEP* |¯¯¯¯¯¯| |¯¯¯¯| | | | ---| |______| |o *BEEP* _|_|_ |____| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ==|=-) - weee! playing "joust" sure is fun! Ha ha ha! So much fun! ERROR! BEEP BEEP! |¯¯¯¯¯¯| |¯¯¯¯| |ERROR!| | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ==|>=-| - weird! The game seems to be getting buggy! |¯¯¯¯¯¯| |¯¯¯¯| |ER@OR!| @ ---| #__@__@|% |o | _|_|_@ @____| ¯¯¯¯@¯¯¯@¯¯*¯¯¯¯¯* ==|=-O ---AGHHH! ITS SUCKING ME INTO THE GAME!!! @ # * * * ) <--moon * * * * * * * * * * * * * ------------------------------------------------------------------ O - where goest thou? -|- ==|=-O - Awesome! I'm in the game now! ^ * * ) * * * * * * * * * * * * * ------------------------------------------------------------------ O !? -|- ==|<=-O - um... I'm not a ghost... what ^ are you talking about? * * ) * * * * * * * * * * * * * ------------------------------------------------------------------ O - (ahem. I'm speaking old englsih.) -|- ==|<=-) ^ \ Gotcha. (wow, this is so totally cool!) * * ) * * * * * * * * * * * * * ------------------------------------------------------------------ O - behold, less doth my eyes decieve! the king is coming! -|- ==|=-O ^ \ !!!! * * ) * * * * * * * * * * * * * ------------------------------------------------------------------ MAKE WAY FOR THE KING!!! =) |¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|===/\ <--wagon hitched up to a horse with the king on it O¯¯O¯¯O /¯¯| O -|- ==|<=-O - hurry! lets get out of the way! ^ \ knowest thou not? my legs art shorteth! anon, i shalt be trampled! * * * * * * ) * * * * * * * * * ------------------------------------------------------------------ =) |¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|===/\ O¯¯O¯¯O /¯¯| *SQUISH!* ==|<=-( ~~~~ * * * * * * ) * * * * * * * * * ------------------------------------------------------------------ =) - Top hat man! I challenge you to a duel! |¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|===/\ O¯¯O¯¯O /¯¯| ==|<=-O o o this game is joust... we'll hafta ride ostriches! ...never really got that part... ------------->THE NEXT MORNING AT THE DUEL...<--------------------- \|/ - O - /|\ ------------------------------------------------------------------ (the king on an ostrich with a lance) my hat is far better than a lance | o V o =)----- ==|>=-) /\ /\ \ \ thou hath not a lance! doth thou surrender? I NEVER SURRENDER! \|/ - O - /|\ ------------------------------------------------------------------ READY? >=)----- ==|>=-) /\ /\ \|/ - O - /|\ ------------------------------------------------------------------ FIGHT! >=)----- ==|>=-) /\ /\ \|/ - O - /|\ ------------------------------------------------------------------ ''''''''''>=)----- ==|>=-)'''''''''''''' ''''''''''/\ /\ '''''''''''''' ==|>=-) !? /\ <=(----- ~ /\ ~ *BOING!* ~ ~ HAHA! ~ ~ \ ~ !! ~ ==|>=-) >=(----- ~ /\ /\ ~ Oh noes! now that I'm behind you I cant attack you with my tophat cause its facing the wrong way! nanner, nanner, nanner!! THBBB!! \ / ==|<=-O >=)----- /\ /\ +__COOL MUSIC BEGINS__+ \ | / tophat powers go!!! - ==|>=-) - <=O----- /\ /\ / | \ \ | / \ | / --- ==|==|==|==|>=-) --- >=O----- /\ /\ / | \ / | \ Aghh! Oh noes! now I'm off balance AHAHA! ALL PART OF MY cause my hat is MASTER PLAN! too big!!! / ==|==|==|==|<=-O >=)----- /\ /\ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! <=-( >=)----- ==/==/==/ /\ /\ I guess its finally time to use the gun I have in my pocket! HAHAH! Oh noes! | | >=-) <=O----- /\ /\ *POW* - ) - - \ >=-) <- > KABLOOIE! = /\ - - /- | The_King started a lead collection! | TopHatMan fragged The_King | Fragcount: 1 >=-) /\ --- ) ->-\ = / ---------> THE END! <--------- ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 2: The Warez Aliens \|/ --O-- /|\ ___________ | | <--(THM's top secret base. Even I dont know about it!) | |____________________________________________ | | What a great day to go to the park! | | / | | ==|<=-) _ (thm's ball) _ ____________( )______|____________________________( )__ _ _ | | _ | ( ) ( ) V ( ) | | | 0 ==|<=-) --WEEEE! it sure is fun playing catch with myself! * * * * * * * * * * * * * (¯) * (¯) (¯) ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|¯¯¯¯¯¯¯0¯¯¯¯¯¯|¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|¯¯¯¯¯ (¯) (¯) (¯) | | | * * * * * * * * * * * * _ * _ ____________( )______*____________________________( )__ _ _ | 0 _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | | ==|>=-O - what!? the ball is being sucked up!? where's the beam of *'s coming from? ________ *( O O O ) * """""""" _ 0 _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | | (thm's eyebrows and hat)--> ==| | =-O - A UFO! ________ ( O O O ) """*"""" * ==|<=-O --I'm being ABDICATED!!! _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | | ________ ( O O o ) - I think you mean "Abducted". """*"""" * ==|<=-) - err... right. sorry. _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | | ________ ( O O o ) - no problem """*"""" * ==|<=-) _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | | ---------->INSIDE THE UFO...<---------------- -|- -y0Vr h1gHn3$! h3 h@$ b33n <@qTVr3D! /0\ /|\ -|- -g00D! /0\ /|\ ==|<=-O \ oh no! warez aliens! sworn allies of 3l1te haxors! -|- -|- -0H n0! /0\ /0\ ==|>=-)''''''''''''''' /|\ /|\ taste tophat, evil aliens!!! / // BOOM!!! /// - \ \ / | ///////////////// / | - \ 0 - / ==|>=-)<<<<<<<<<< 0 | / \ - \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\ \\ \ <> // _/-_/\00 ==|>=-| O< \ Hm... I wonder \\ what that BIG RED BUTTON over there does? <> // _/-_/\00 ==|>=-D O< \ \\ Well, there's one way to find out! AHHHHH!!! NOOOO!!! NOT THAT!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! OUCH!!! OOFF!! That'll be ten thirty five, pull up at the next window please. AHHGGGHH!!! THE PAIN!!! THE PAIN!! MY EYES!!! I CAN'T SEE MY EYES!!! OOOOFF!! PLEASE STOP!!! / _____/__ ( O O O ) """""""" _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | | AHHH!! OOOF!!! OUCH!! NOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!!! OOF!! I'LL TALK I'LL TALK!!!! NOOO!!! DONT TAKE AWAY MY TOPHAT!!! NOT MY TOPHAT!!!! AHHH!!!! / _____/__ ( O O O ) """""""" _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | | -------------------------->In an alien prison...<-------------- ____________________________________________________ | | | | | oh no... I'm in the prison now! without my hat! | |___________/_______________________________________| <=-( ____________________________________________________ | | | -|- | | /0\ | |_____________________/|\___________________________| <=-O \ hey guard! I hafta go to the um.. bathroom! ____________________________________________________ | | | -|- -HmMM... ! gVe$$ yV0 c@N g0... | /0\ | |_____________________/|\___________________________| <=-O o o warez aliens must not be too bright... | \ __| <=-O - this must be the bathroom! weird... I wonder how they use it... | \ __| <=-O \ i also wonder what happens if i ram my pointy eyebrows into that thing... | BOOM!!! \ ////////// __|<=-O<<<<<<<<<< \\\\\\\\\\ /_\ ~ ~ ~ oof! where am I? I think I came from ______\ /_________>=-|________ that hole up there... hm.... ~ ~ ~ ~ >=-) ~ BOING!!! ______\ /___________~_____________ ________ ( O O O ) ""/""\"" ~ ~ <=-O (¯) (¯) (¯) ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯|¯¯¯¯¯ (¯) (¯) (¯) | | | ________ ( O O O ) ""\/"""" _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | <=-( | *THUD* _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | <=-( | | I dont have my tophat any more... or my ball... _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | <=-o | | wahhh!!! wahh!!! weeeeehhhhhhhhh!!!! \|/ *flutter flutter flutter!!* _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | <=-O | \ whats that? _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | <=-o \|/ | _ _ ____________( )___________________________________( )__ _ _ | _ | ( ) ( ) ( ) | | 0 ==|<=-) \|/ | | *POOF* my ball and hat! Yippee! --------->THE END!<---------- ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 3: Oh my, I seem to be a pie! <8-) - thm! I created a neat machine! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" <8-)'''''' ==|<=-o'''' """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___ \ / }\_=_/ \ / |/ <8-o |______\ ==|<=-O -- What does it do? """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" pull the lever, and find out!_ | \ / }\_=_/ \ / |/ <8-o |______\ ==|<=-O """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" but I um... gotta go now! bye! | ___ \ / }\_=_/ \ / |/ <8-D |______\ ==|<=-O --!? """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___ \ / }\_=_/ \I probably shouldn't trust evil assistant... but here goes... / |/ / |______\ ==|<=-| """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___ \ / *BEEP* }\_=_/ \ / |- ==|>=-| |______\ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___ \ / *WIRR!!!!* }\_=_/ \ @ @ ~~~~ / |- = = | | = - O~~ = |______\ $^% * , # """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___ \ / *POOF!* }\_=_/ \ !!! / |- _______ |______\ \_____/ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___ \ / }\_=_/ \ ...I'm a pie now... / |- _______ |______\ \_____/ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___ \ / }\_=_/ \ it sure is weird being a pie... / |- _______ |______\ \_____/ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___ \ / _______ }\_=_/ \ \_____/ / |- ~ |______\ ~ *HOP!* """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" _______ \_____/ *thud* """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ... _______ \_____/ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" this is going be one of the most interesting times in my life... _______ \_____/ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" I'm hungry... let me check whats in the fridge. | _______ \_____/ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" |\____ ahh fooey its empty!| \___\ | | /| | _______ \| | | \_____/ | |__| |/ I guess I'm gunna hafta go to the |\____ grocery store | \___\ | | /| | _______ \| | | \_____/ | |__| |/ ------------>A T T H E G R O C E R Y S T O R E . . .<--------------- snif! MMM! that smells like its from the bakery! / _______ \_____/ _______ *hop hop hop!* ~ \_____/ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ___ __________________ | | [People Entrance-->] | .| """"|""""""|"""""" | | |___| _________ _______________ __________ !? [BAKERY-->] [Pie Entrance-->] | . | _______ """""|""" """""""|""""""" |__________| \_____/ _______________ ___________ [Pie Entrance-->] |\ _______ | """""|""""""""" | \ \_____/ | \ \ \ \ \.| \| _______ \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | help!-\_____/ | !? _______ | _______ \_____/ | \_____/ _______ |8 \_____/ | 80 <--lock and chain _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | it's SOMBRERO MAN!!! _______ | _______ \_____/ | \_____/ _______ |8 \_____/ | 80 _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | | and his EVIL ASSISTANT!!! _______ | C|>=-) / \_____/ | | >8-) _______ | \_____/ | _______ \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | ~ _______ | ~ ~ *HOP!* \_____/ | ~ ~ _______ |8 ~ \_____/ | 80 ~ _______ | ~ \_____/ | ~ HA! TAKE THAT!!! _______ | _______ / \_____/ | \_____/ _______ | ~~~~~ \_____/ | *SQUISH!* ''''''''''<8-| _______ | \_____/ | _______ \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ _______ \_____/ _______ \_____/ there! YOU'RE ALL FREE!!! _______ | _______ / \_____/ | \_____/ _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ _______ \_____/ - oh thank you so much! we all owe our lives to you! _______ \_____/ hmm.... hehehe.... _______ | _______ / \_____/ | \_____/ _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ _______ \_____/ -!? _______ in that case lets start a revelution!! this shall be: \_____/ P I E - L A N D S U P E R M A R K E T !!! _______ | _______ / \_____/ | \_____/ _______ | \_____/ | _______ | \_____/ | --------> A few hours later in the White House... <-------- um... Mr. President... Smalton, Illinois's grocery store has um.... *restrained laugh*... ahem... uh... has decalared itself to be a seperate country... ahem uh... / O O - Bahh who cares! I never liked their produce anyway... -|- __/|\_ / \ | / \| ------>IN A RANDOM ENCYCLIPEDIA...<------------ Pieland (pi'-land) A monarchy with a population of about 100 pies in Illinois. Smallest country in the world. Highly admired for its abolishment of prisons. Curiously, it seems the higher the crime rate gets in Pieland, the larger the revenue it earns from its chief export, pies. ------>A FEW DAYS LATER...<--------------------------------------- ___________________ | | | | ___________________ | ___________ | [WELCOME to PIELAND!] | | .| []| """""""|""""""""""" |___|_________|___| ==|<=-| \ I have to go now... _______ \_____/ -No!!! the pies love you! they need you! your their leader, their inspiration! ==|>=-) \ hmm... hehehehe.... _______ \_____/ -!? / SLICING POWERS GO!!!! !! // _______ ///////////////// \_____/ ==|>=-)<<<<<<<<< \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\ \ *munch munch munch!* <) (> ==|=-O ' (> (> ' ---------->THE END!<------------ NOOO!!! ITS NOT THE END!!! | >8-o --------->um... AHEM!!! THE END!<------ WAIT!!! ITS NOT THE END YET!!!! | >8-o -------->+shut up!+ ok.. ahem! THE END!<------ LALALALALALALALALALALA!!!! NOT THE END!!! LALALALALALA!! | >|-O ------->IT IS THE END!<------------ I HAVE TO SING MY SONG!!!!! | >8-o ----->YOU CANT SING YOUR STUPID SONG NOW... ITS THE END!!!<----- ITS A FREE COUNTRY!!!! I CAN SING MY SONG!!! | >8-o ----->THE END!<----- IM A BAD MAN, AFTER ALL! IM A BAD MAN, AFTER ALL! IM A BAD MAN, AFTER ALL! A BAD MAN AFTER ALL... | <8-O ------>+SHUTUP!+ THE END!<--------- A MAN OF EVILNESS A MAN OF BAD! A MAN OF INVENTION, INVENTOR MAD! SO DID YOU SEE FROM THE START, THAT I WOULD TURN ART, A BAD MAN AFTER ALL!!! | <8-O ------>+STUFFIT!+ THE END!<------ IM A BAD MAN, AFTER ALL! IM A BAD MAN, AFTER ALL! IM A BAD MAN, AFTER ALL! A BAD MAN AFTER ALL... | <8-O ------>THATS IT!!!<----------- A MAN of ev--- what are you doing?!? | ---> >8-O <------- AHG NO!!!!! | '''---> <8-O <-------''' *SQUISH!* ------------>|<------------- -------------->THE END!<------------------ ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 4: Fly me to the moon... a really big sign | V ________________________________________ [Enter_Building_for_a_big_happy_surprise!] _||__ | | ? | | ==|<=-O """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________________________________ [Enter_Building_for_a_big_happy_surprise!] _||__ | | | | ==|>=-| - hmm... seems mighty fishy... """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________________________________ [Enter_Building_for_a_big_happy_surprise!] _||__ | | the b on the sign | | ==|>=-| is capitalized! """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________________________________ [Enter_Building_for_a_big_happy_surprise!] _||__ | | | | ==|<=-| might as well go in... hm... I wonder what this button does? / ________________________________________ [Enter_Building_for_a_big_happy_surprise!] _||__ | | | | ________________________________________ '''''[Enter_Building_for_a_big_happy_surprise!] _||__ | | *slide!* | | ==|<=-O ~ ~ *POW!* ~ ________________________________________ ~ [Enter_Building_for_a_big_happy_surprise!] _||__ | | | | NEXT! | ________________________________________ [Enter_Building_for_a_big_happy_surprise!]'''''' _||__ | | *slide!* | | * earth ==|<=-O * | ~ V ~ * _~ * (_) * * * ~ ~ ==|<=-O *thud* /""\ | | <--the moon \__/ ==|<:-O blink blink! /""\ | | \__/ a bit disappointing... kind of smaller than I expected... | ==|<=-| /""\ | | \__/ huh... whats that over there? | ==|<=-o /""\ | | o <--thing off in the distance \__/ oh no! the "AOL ALIENS" | ==|<=-O /""\ ___ | | (AOL) - bring me to your isp! \__/ """ "-_EXCITING-MUSIC-THAT-YOU-GET-REAL-SICK-OF-AFTER-AWHILE BEGINS_-" ________________ __________________ AOL ALIEN | |THM __ HP: 40/40| | __ HP:92/100 [! ]SPEED: 1/1 | |[=)]SPEED:65/65 "" MP: 5/5 | | "" MP:13/13 ________________| |__________________ \ (notice speed) ! -#- / \ ==|>=-) """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________________________________ |You are attacked by AOL ALIEN! | | | | V| """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________ __________________ AOL ALIEN | |THM __ HP: 40/40| | __ HP:82/100 [! ]SPEED: 1/1 | |[=)]SPEED:65/65 "" MP: 5/5 | | "" MP:13/13 ________________| |__________________ ! *fling!* -#\'''myskins.com / \ ==|<=-| """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________________________________ |AOL ALIEN attacks with "Death to GUI!"! | |Skins are everywhere! | |AOL ALIEN deals -10 HP to THM V| """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________ __________________ AOL ALIEN | |THM __ HP: 40/40| | __ HP:82/100 [! ]SPEED: 0/1 | |[=)]SPEED:65/65 "" MP: 5/5 | | "" MP:13/13 ________________| |__________________ _______________________ |FRUM aol STAF: | |farWARD THiss Messegde | |aND Get frea monnee! | """"""""""""""""""""""" X -#- | / \ ==|>=-) """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________________________________ |THM attacks with "Chain Mail"! | |AOL ALIEN's servers are bogged down! | |AOL ALIEN's speed is decreased by 1 V| """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________ __________________ AOL ALIEN | |THM __ HP: 40/40| | __ HP:82/100 [! ]SPEED: 0/1 | |[=)]SPEED:65/65 "" MP: 5/5 | | "" MP:13/13 ________________| |__________________ a...t...t...a...c...k... | ! haha! -#- | / \ ==|>=-) """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________________________________ |AOL ALIEN is so slow it can't do a | |thing! | | V| """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________ __________________ AOL ALIEN | |THM __ HP: 18/40| | __ HP:82/100 [! ]SPEED: 0/1 | |[=)]SPEED:65/65 "" MP: 5/5 | | "" MP: 3/13 ________________| |__________________ ! -O- <--security hole / \ ==|>=-) """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________________________________ |THM uses Security Hole Magic costing | |10 MP. | |AOL ALIEN HP down 22. V| """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________ __________________ AOL ALIEN | |THM __ HP: 18/40| | __ HP:82/100 [! ]SPEED: 0/1 | |[=)]SPEED:65/65 "" MP: 5/5 | | "" MP: 3/13 ________________| |__________________ __ -{TW}- ---\ || ! }----SUE BEAM-----> ==|>=-O -O- ---/ / \ """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ________________________________________ |Oh no! AOL ALIEN calls TIME WARNER ALIEN| |and uses "Sue for using copyrighted | |name AOL in the cracking program." | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \\\\\\\\\ ////////// \\\\\\\\\ ////////// \\\\\\\\\////////// --------BOOOOOM!------------- /////////\\\\\\\\\\ ///////// \\\\\\\\\\ ///////// \\\\\\\\\\ I survived! | ==|<=-O /""\ | | \__/ uh oh... i just realized something! | ==\<=-| /""\ | | \__/ my hat fell off into space!!!! | ~ <=-O ~ /""\ ==| | | \__/ ..... | <=-| /""\ | | \__/ a rocket! | | =-O /""\ | | \__/ /\'''''''' _____/ / <_____ [<- \ \ \/........ ~ ~ ~ /""\ ~ | | ~ \__/ ~ ~ ~ /\'''''''' >=-)_/ / <_____ [<- \ \ \/........ --------->HOURS PASS...<------------------ /\'''''''' <=-|_/ / <_____ [<- \ \ \/........ --------->DAYS PASS...<-------------------- /\'''''''' <=-(_/ / <_____ [<- \ \ \/........ ---------->21 YEARS PASS...<-------------------- beard | V /\'''''''' >=-(=_/ / <_____ [<- \ \ \/........ _ EARTH! (_) | /\'''''''' <=-)=_/ / <_____ [<- \ \ \/........ _ but wait... what will this rocket do when it gets to ear- (_) | /\'''''''' <=-|=_/ / <_____ [<- \ \ \/........ \\\\\\\\\ ////////// \\\\\\\\\ ////////// \\\\\\\\\////////// --------BOOOOOM!------------- /////////\\\\\\\\\\ ///////// \\\\\\\\\\ ///////// \\\\\\\\\\ * * * I survived again!! * | * * <=-)= * * * ~ ~ ~ now I'm just falling through space... | |=-)= ^ ^ ^ I'm starting to get going really fast... | <=-|= -|- -|- *SPLAT!* | \ V / _____|_ \\ V // | | \\\ \V/ /// | _ | \\\\ >=-|= //// | |-| | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" -|- -|- wow! I'm on the floor of | the universe! _____|_ | | _________________________ | | _ |[THE FLOOR OF THE UNIVERSE] | =-O= | |-| | """"""""""|"""""""""""""" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" -|- -|- | _____|_ | | _________________________ | _ |[THE FLOOR OF THE UNIVERSE] '''|=-|= | |-| | """"""""""|"""""""""""""" """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ------->INSIDE THE BUILDING...<--------------------- ****** + + kennel + + V + + /--\ __/- <-dog + + |__| ^^ _________________________ [PORTAL INTO THE YEAR 2019] """"""""|"""""""""""""""" <=-)= ****** ++++++++ woof! woof! ++++++++ / ++++++++ /--\ __/- ++<|-O=+ |__| ^^ _________________________ [PORTAL INTO THE YEAR 2019] """"""""|"""""""""""""""" \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / !@#$%&*~#$#$* -------#$^^&>=-O%^&}-------- @%$(*&^%)(%$@ / | \ / | \ / | \ / | \ ________________________________________ [Enter_Building_for_a_big_happy_surprise!] _||__ | | *POOF!* | | ==|<=-) - HOME AGAIN! """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ------> THE END! <------ ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 5: Journey to the center of the earth. \|/ __|___ <--Sombrero Man's base up on a cliff | | | | ___________|____|____ \|/ \ --O-- a little cliff | /|\ - | - ___/ V \ - - | """" - | - / ____ ___\___ ((___) (_______) | - | - | __ | (__) - __| ___ (__) (___) \|/ __|___ | | | C|>=-) | | __|________|____|____ \|/ \ --O-- | /|\ - - ___/ \ - <8-) | """" - | - / ____ ___\___ ((___) (_______) | - | - | __ | (__) - __| ___ (__) (___) \|/ __|___ | | | C|>=-) | | __|________|____|____ \|/ \ --O-- | /|\ Hello Sombrero Man! Isn't it a wondeful day for some evil schemes to take over the world? - <8-) | """" - | - / ____ ___\___ ((___) (_______) | - | - | __ | (__) - __| ___ (__) (___) ah yes! I feel great today! I feel like I could dig a hole to China \|/ __|___ | | | C|>=-) | | __|________|____|____ \|/ \ --O-- | /|\ say... I have a special surprise for you... | \ - >8-) | """" - | - / ____ ___\___ ((___) (_______) | - | - | __ | (__) - __| ___ (__) (___) ------------>On the ground...<----------- \|/ --O-- /|\ __________________________________________________ | C|>=-O _____ | | \___/ wow! what is it, evil assistant? -|||- >8-) \S/ \ I call it the Drill-A-Tron 3000! 1.5 times better than the Drill-A-Tron 2000! try it out! \|/ --O-- /|\ __________________________________________________ *WIRR!!* _____ | \___/ C|<=-o -|||- >8-) | \S/ \|/ --O-- /|\ __________________________________________________ ~ | ~ C|<=-O ~ *POW!* | 8-O | ~ (") <--hole " \|/ --O-- /|\ __________________________________________________ | C|<=-o >8-O | ~ *HOP!* ~ (") " ------------->Inside the hole...<---------------- ~ ~ ~ ~ | ~ C|<=-o | \ I wonder when I'll hit the bottom of this hole... -------------->Time passes...<------------------ ~ ~ ~ | ~ C|<=-o | \ I'm still falling... ----------->More time passes...<--------------- water!! | | | | | C|<=-O | | | | _________________| |________________ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ | | | | | *Sploosh!*| _________________| \ | / |________________ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ --------------->Meanwhile...<------------------- soo... any news with you? | _______ ==|=-o \_____/ \ I'm going on a cruise down in the Indian Ocean! nice... | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \ since im a pie I get a discount if I invite a sideways happy face! do you want to come? sure! _______ | \_____/ ==|=-) ------------->At the cruise...<-------------------- ______________ / \ blimp--> ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ ________ thm with sunglasses ___/ | V _______ / | ==|<8-) \_____/-AH! so nice to escape from reality \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ once and a while... \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ ________ yeah... no sombrero man to worry about! ___/ | | _______ / | ==|<8-) \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ ________ !? ...whats that? ___/ | _______ / / | ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ | C|<=-O *THUD!* / | ~ TOP HAT MAN?!? ~ ~ ~ ________ SOMBRERO MAN!?! ~ ___/ | / \ _______ ~ / | ==|>=-O \_____/ ~ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ ~ \_________________________________________________________/ \ ~ / *SPLOOSH!* ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ /""""""""""""""\ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ | C|>=-O / | HOW DID YOU GET IN THE CENTER OF THE EARTH?!? AND HOW ARE YOU STANDING ON THE CEILING?!? HOW DID YOU GET IN THE INDIAN OCEAN?!? AND HOW ARE YOU STANDING ON THE BOTTOM OF A BLIMP?!? ________ | \ ___/ | | \ _______ / | ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ | C|>=-| / | uh... ________ um... ___/ | / _______ / | ==|>=-| \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ | C|| =-O | ________um... sombrero man? your gravity is reversed! ___/ | | _______ / | ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ________ | ~ ___/ | _______ C|<=-O *THUD!* / | ==|>=-o \_____/ | \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ ________ ? | ___/ | _______ C|<=-o - ...! / | ==|<=-o \_____/ | \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ SOMBRERO POWERS GO!!! ________ ! ! | \ ___/ | _______ C|>=-) / | ==|>=-O \_____/ | \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ |'''''''''' *POW!* c|<<<<<<<<<<< ________ |.......... | ___/ | _______ C|>=-) / | ==|<=-( \_____/ | \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ ________ | *SLICE!* | ___/ | c| _______ C|>=-) / | =|=|<=-o \_____/ | \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_________________________________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ ________ ! | ___/ | _______ C|>=-) -HAHA!!! / | = =|<=-O \_____/ | \""""""""""""""""""""""> >"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \____________________< <___________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ______________ / \ ( -X ) \______________/ \__/ MY ONLY HOPE IS TO CONTACT MAIN BASE! ________ | | ___/ | _______ C|>=-) / | = =|<=-| \_____/ | \""""""""""""""""""""""> >""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \____________________< <___________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ---------------------------------------------- I NEED REINFORCEMENTS! HURRY! | _________ _________ | | | | | _______ | | _______ | | \_____/ | | \_____/ | | | | | |_________| |_________| BASE PIE ROGER THAT. THIS CLEARLY CALLS FOR... WING ATTACK PLAN R! | _________ _________ | | | | | _______ | | _______ | | \_____/ | | \_____/ | | | | | |_________| |_________| BASE PIE WING ATTACK PLAN R!?!? | _________ _________ | | | | | _______ | | _______ | | \_____/ | | \_____/ | | | | | |_________| |_________| BASE PIE ---------------------------------------------- (big strobe light thingy) | ________________V____________________ /\ \ | \ --|"|-- *WHIR! WHIR!* \ | \____________________________________\ | / | \ | | | | | | ___\-|___ | | | | \___ __\ | | | \O| | | | \| | | | _______ _______ \_____/ \____*/ <--(star for rank) ~ / ~ BATTLE STATIONS! BATTLE STATIONS! *HOP!* -------->INSIDE A COCPIT...<---------- _______________ /- -\ /- :) | -\ /- \__/ -O- -\ /- | -\ """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" / \ .......... (------) '''''''''' \ / _______________ /- -\ /- _:|)_ -\ /- \-O-/ -\ /- | -\ """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" \ \ .......... |------| '''''''''' \ \ _______________ /- -\ /- _:|)_ -\ /- \-O-/ -\ /- | _\/ *POW!*-\ """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" / \ .......... (------) '''''''''' \ / /""""""""""""""\ ___\-|____ ( -X ) \___ ___\ \______________/ \O| ^ \__/ \| *BAM!* ________ | ___/ | _______ C|<=-O / | = =|>=-) \_____/ | \""""""""""""""""""""""> >""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \____________________< <___________________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ *********** B O O M !*********** \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////// | ----------------- C | < = - O ------------------- | ////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ------------>A few days later...<--------------- GRR!!! \|/ | __|___ | | | C|>=-( | | __|________|____|____ \|/ \ --O-- | /|\ Hello Sombrero Man! Isn't it a wondeful day for some evil schemes to take over the world? - <8-) | """" - | - / ____ ___\___ ((___) (_______) | - | - | __ | (__) - __| ___ (__) (___) ------------>THE END!<------------------- ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 6: My Top Hat Man \|/ _|______ / \-O | | what could this building be? | | | | | ==|>=-O """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \|/ _|______ / \-O | | well... there's only one way to find out! | | | | | ==|>=-o """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \|/ _|______ / \-O | | | | | | ==|>=-|'''''' """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \|/ *WIR!* _|______ / \---O | | | | | |==|>=-o """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \|/ _|______ / \---~ | | ~ | | O | |==|<=-O """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \|/ _|______ / \--- *BONK!* | | | | \ | / | |==|<#-| -OUCH! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" where am I? ########################### ########################### ######==|<=-o############## ########################### ########################### I must have blacked out when that O hit me... ########################### ########################### ######==|>=-o############## ########################### ########################### sure is dark in here... ########################### ########################### ######==|>=-|############## ########################### ########################### I know! I'll turn on my flash light! ########################### ########################### ######==|>=-)############## ########################### ########################### __ | | | .| | | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" /-------------------------\ /-----+---\ | |"""| | | _ ____/-----| |---|----| | < > |||-----\ | |___|---/ \ |=| " /\|/\ || ==|<=-O -Wow! What an amazing machine! __ | | | .| ___| |_____________________________ /-------------------------\ /-----+---\ | |"""| | | _ ____/-----| |---|----| | < > |||-----\ | |___|---/ \ |=| " /\|/\ || ==|>=-| -hm... I wonder what that sign says! __ | | | .| ___| |_____________________________ /-------------------------\ /-----+---\ | |"""| | | _ ____/-----| |---|----| | < > |||-----\ | |___|---/ \ |=| " /\|/\ || ==|>=-| -INTAKE ...hm... I wonder what that could be! __ | | | .| ___| |_____________________________ /-------------------------\ /-----+---\ one way to find out! | |"""| | | ==|=-)_ ____/-----| |---|----| | ~ < > |||-----\ | |___|---/ \ |=| ~ " /\|/\ || ~ _________________________________ ~ | | ~ *THUD!* | | ~ /____\ ==|<=-o ------------------------------------------ _________________________________ | | AHG!IM ON A CONVEYER BELT!| | | /____\ ==|<=-o --------------------------------------------------- _________________________________ | | | | /____\ ==|<=-O --------------------------------------------------- _________________________________ | | | | | | *BAM!* ==|/____\ --------------------------------------------------- _________________________________ **| |** **| |** **| |** *WHIR!* ==|/____\* --------------------------------------------------- _________________________________ | | | | /____\ ==|=-O --------------------------------------------------- \ WOH! Im ok... but... hm... I have the sudden urge to use aol... -------------------------->Meanwhile...<------------------- _______ \ | \_____/ - hmm... whats this? \ | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ==|:-) _______ \~ | \_____/ - THM! \ ~| """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" _______ \ | \_____/ ==|:-) \ | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" / HI!!!!!!!!!!!! I PlAyEd a KOOOOOOOL 3d GAME LATeLY!!! ok... um... thats nice... are you ok?? | _______ \ | \_____/ ==|:-) \ | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" / im SOOOO ok!!!!!!!!... I NEED some SKIns!! top hat man... you dont sound too good! | _______ \ | \_____/ ==|:-) \ | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" / is there an aol keyword for that?????????? ! _______ \ | \_____/ ==|:-) \ | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" / i luv aOL INSTANT Messanger!!!!!!!!!!! It LETS YOu do color!!! i CAN send photos TOO my friends!!!! COOL!!!!! !!! _______ \ | \_____/ ==|:-) \ | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" / i played a game and bam! i won and got a new level and it was cool. i also got a heart and beat my friend. aol lets you emoticon!!! i did! TOP HAT MAN! SPEAK TO ME! _______ \ | \_____/ ==|:-) \ | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" / i clicked keywords and then i typed it in and played ecards!!!!! lol!! i found a britney spears screen and it had music!!!!!!!!!!!! its sooooooooooo kewl!!!!!! WHAT... WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU!?! _______ \ | \_____/ ==|:-) \ | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \ AOL IS GOOD!!!! aol.... buy more... give aol money... must lead others!!! ... / ==|:-) ~ ! ~ _______ ~ \ | \_____/ ~ \ | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" =) =) =) =) =) =) =) ==|:-) =) =) =) \ come! come! \|/ _|______ / \-O *HOP!* | | =) | | =)=)=)=) =) ~ \ / | | """"""""""""""""" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" --------------->A bit later...<--------------------- _______ \ | \_____/ - what is happening?!? \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" :) _______ \ ~ | \_____/ - !?! \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" THM! ==|:-) _______ \~ | \_____/ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) \~ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" OH NOES!!! _______ \ | \_____/ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | / \ I LOVE AOL!!! EMOTICON ME!!! ITS SO EASY!!!! I MUST CONTAIN THEM!! _______ \ | \_____/ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \ / \ / \ \ / \ / \ W E M U S T L E A D O T H E R S ! PIE POWERS GO!!!!!!!!!! _______ \ | \_____/ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ... _______ \ | \_____/ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" it looks alot easier in ascii art comic strips... | _______ \ | \_____/ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" aha! good thing I have a jumbo hoberman sphere in my pocket! | _______ \ | \_____/ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" HOBERMAN SPHERE POWERS GO! | _______ \ | \_____/ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | *POOF!* | | | | | | | _______ \ \ | / \_____/ \:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o ==|:-o \ | / """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" / / \ \ / \ / \ \ / OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!! | | | | | | | | _______ \ \ | / \_____/ \:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | / """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | / \ | kewl! what is it? i wish i had my e-CaM with me... | at least they're happy untill i can fix them! | | ____ | | ___/ - now to | | ~ figure out| | ~ how to \ \ | / ~fix them! \:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | / """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| _______ \_____/ -hm... wikipedia says this is "AOL Syndrome" ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| _______ \_____/ - the only cure is to grind the exclaimation point found on top of an AOL alien's head! ---------------------->A bit later...<----------------- \|/ _|______hello pie. please go behind building and jump in hole. / \-O / | | ! | | -#- _______ | | / \ \_____/ - Hmm... """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \|/ _|______ AHAH! I figured it out: this building turns ordinary people / \-O into aol zombies so aol aliens get more money! | | ! | | | -#- _______ | | / \ \_____/ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \|/ _|______ / \-O HOBERMAN SPHERE POWERS GO!!! | | ! | | | -#- _______ | | / \ \_____/ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \|/ _|______ *POOF!* / \-O /"""""\ | | | X | | | | -#- | _______ | | \ / \ / \_____/ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" --------->A bit later...<------------------------------------- | | | | | | | | _______ \ \ | / \_____/ \:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|:-) \ | / """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \ I'll first test my remedy on thm! | Pie used 1 remedy(s) on THM | THM is cured of AOL Syndrome | Pie gains 10 exp in Herblore | | | | | | | | _______ \ \ | / \_____/ \:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ==|<=-O \ | / """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | WOH! where am I... I had the strangest dream! --------------------->Later...<--------------------------- ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|<=-) | ah... home again... safe and sound... ... now to un-install aol... Are you SURE you want to un- install AOL? | ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|>=-| - yes. Are you COMPLETELY POSITIVE that you want to uninstall AOL? | ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|>=-| - absolutely. Sorry... AOL cannot be un- installed at this time... | ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|<=-| please try again later! like... in a thousand years! Bwahahahaha!!! BWAHAHAHA!!! | ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|>=-( | I think it's about to to reformat my hard-drive... ------------------>The End!<------------------------- ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 7: Prime Time ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-) \ oooooh! I found some great deals on boat tickets! ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-| | too bad they dont list their prices... they say they can't 'cause it'd violate some patent by orbitz... ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-) | well it doesn't matter! I trust them! ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-| | hmmm... it seems I have to solve thirteen riddles and write a paragraph about bulgarian folk music before I can go through with the purchase... they say anything easier would violate some patent by amazon... ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-) | well it doesn't matter! I like bulgarian folk music! --------------------------->A little later...<------------------ so, Pie, you wanna go to England with me? | _______ =|=-o \_____/ \ SURE! ------------------>At Sombrero Man's Base...<-------------------- 8-D | ohhh sombrero man! I have very special surprise for you! | C|>=-D | | sounds devilish! |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| \ / |||||||||| /\/\/\/\/\/\ /""""""""""""""\ | >8-D | LOOK! it is called "TIme MAchine-2001.5" it is major invention!! QUITE AMAZING! it does time travel! to any time! just set the lever on the right to the right time and jump in! *POOF!* Blink your eyes and you are in that time! | C|>=-o | | what are we waiting for! LETS DO IT! |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| \ / |||||||||| /\/\/\/\/\/\ /""""""""""""""\ | >8-D | no haste! for it to work we must be in the... )))))- C E N T E R O F T I M E ! -((((( | C|>=-O | ------------------>On a boat in the Atlantic Ocean...<---------- \|/ - O - /|\ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ a few more hours and we'll be in England! | _______ ==|=-D \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \|/ - O - /|\ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ !!! | _______ ==|>=-o \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ AHOY THERE!!! | O-=|3 \"""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \|/ - O - /|\ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ WHO ARE YOU?!? | _______ ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ WE BE PIRATES AND WE COME TO LOOT YOUR SHIP! | O-=|3 \"""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \|/ - O - /|\ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ umm... "WE"? | _______ ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ arg... OKOKOK!!! "I" BE PIRATE!!! MY NAME IS "FEDORA MAN, SCURGE OF THE SEA!" | O-=|3 \"""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \|/ - O - /|\ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ OH COME ON! IS THAT REALLY YOUR NAME? | _______ ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ er... ARG!!! THATS WHAT THEY CALL ME!!! MY REAL NAME IS "EP. Matthew D. Prendrick" | O-=|3 \"""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \|/ - O - /|\ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ EP? WHATS THAT? | _______ ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ grrr... "Expert Pirate"... YOU KNOW IT TOOK 5 YEARS IN PIRATE SCHOOL TO EARN THAT! ITS SO ANNOYING HOW PEOPLE NEVER KNOW WHAT THAT IS! | O-=|3 \"""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \|/ - O - /|\ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I THOUGHT YOU WHERE GOING TO LOOT US! | _______ ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ UM... WELL... FIRST YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD PIN NUMBER! | O-=|3 \"""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \|/ - O - /|\ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ WHY WOULD I GIVE YOU THAT? | _______ ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ +hmf, i guess i shouldnt push my luck...+ OKOKOK! YOU DONT HAVE TO GIVE ME THAT! JUST TELL ME WHERE I AM?? PLEASE?? | O-=|3 \"""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \|/ - O - /|\ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ YOU'RE IN THE ATLANTIC OCEAN!!! | _______ ==|>=-O \_____/ \"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ...THANK YOU SO MUCH KIND SIR!!! IM A BIT OFF COURSE!!! | O-=|3 \"""""""""""""""""""""""/ \_____________________/ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ----------->A bit later after the strange encounter...<--------------- \|/ - O - /|\ _____________________________________________________ _ here we are in... GREENWICH ENGLAND!!! ( ) | _______ | ==|=-) \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ _____________________________________________________ .-. <--things off in the distance _ hmm... what's over there? ( ) | _______ | ==|=-| \_____/ --------------------------------------------------------------------- \|/ - O - /|\ _____________________________________________________ |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| \ / |||||||||| /\/\/\/\/\/\ /""""""""""""""\ | >8-D | here we are... in the CENTER OF TIME( Greenwhich England) | C|>=-D | | EXELLENT! excuse me for a moment as I do some evil laughter... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HHEHEHHAHAHAEHAHEHAHEHAHE!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAH!! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Tee hee hee. | C|<=-D | | AHH!!! that felt good! | C|>=-) | | NOW LETS CONTROL TIME! \|/ - O - /|\ _____________________________________________________ |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| \ / |||||||||| /\/\/\/\/\/\ /""""""""""""""\ | >8-D | not so much haste! this machine operates on the theory of "Time is money." In order for this mahine to operate, you must fuel it with money! understand? | C|>=-| | | yeah, yeah, yeah!! shut up and make it work!! \|/ - O - /|\ _____________________________________________________ |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| \ / |||||||||| /\/\/\/\/\/\ /""""""""""""""\ | _______ >8-O \_____/ | | OH NO!! HAHA!! | C|>=-O ==|>=-) | | | TOP HAT MAN! Sorry Sombrero Man, but I don't have TIME to chat! TASTE TOPHAT!!! \|/ - O - /|\ _____________________________________________________ |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| |~~~~~~~~~~~~| \ / |||||||||| /\/\/\/\/\/\ /""""""""""""""\ | ____ / \ _______ | >8-O | \_____/ \____/ | HOBERMAN POWERS GO!!! /////////////////// /////////////////// | /////////////////// C|>=-O ==|>=-)<<<<<<<<<<< | \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ BAM! /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////// | C|=-) | ////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \|/ - O - /|\ _____________________________________________________ _______ ==|>=-) \_____/ | SAVED THE DAY AGAIN! \|/ - O - /|\ _____________________________________________________ _______ ==|<=-o \_____/ | ...but I STILL don't know how much I payed for that boat ride! ----------------> THE END! <---------------------------- ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 8: One False Step \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|<=-) \_____/ - gosh... my ears are really | stuffed up... I cant hear very well... Um... please pardon my asking... but you have ears? \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|<=-o \_____/ - Yes. Of course I do! | Right. Um... where are they? \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|<=-o \_____/ - I'm not detailed enough | to show ears... you | don't have any, either... I see... \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-) \_____/ -really? \ hey Pie! guess what? i won a top hat fashion contest! \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-D \_____/ \ yeap! lemme tell you all about it... ------------------>Meanwhile..<------------------------ Sombrero Man! I've invented major machine! it can teleport you to any place! just press a button... POOF! you've gone ten thousand miles away! in an instant! | | C|>=-D >8-D | \ AWESOME! but I dont really want to go ten thousand miles away... but that's the best part! you can teleport to ANY place you want! | | C|>=-D >8-D | \ HAHAHA!! THE WORLD IS MINE!!! I shall lead you to it! | | C|>=-) >8-D | ___ \5/ ? | C|=-O <8-o | | well, thats cool, but wheres the teleporter? ___ \5/ but... but that is the teleporter! | | C|<=-D <8-O | | oh! yeah... I knew that... a bit smaller than I expected... what's the five mean? ___ \5/ it stands for teleporter of course!!! | C|>=-D <8-o | | um... yeah... well enough talk! TELEPORTER, TAKE ME TO TOP HAT MAN!!! ___ \5/ *" no! do not! stop! stop! | * C|<=-D >8-O | | why? It's working fine! ___ \5/ " it is too late... ******* <8-( *POOF!* ******* ------------------------------------------------ \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ -goodbye! | well, I have to go now... I think I might just frame this top hat! It's a beauty, alright... ~ ~ ~ ~ | ~ C|<=-O -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! | \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | !? !? _______ ==|<=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | | ! _______ C|8-O* POOF! ****** \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | | _______ C|<=-|<=-| \_____/ ... | """ >8-| / sombrero man! you forget to say the vertical coordinates! it defaults to five miles above the earth's surface! \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | sheepish smile | | V _______ C|<=-)=-D HAHAHAHA! \_____/ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! | """ | >8-D um... yeah... I knew that... \|/ - O - /|\ """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" (") (") (") | | (") | | | _______ C|<=-)=-| \_____/ | """ >8-|'''''''''''''' \ come on! lets go... before you do anything else so stupid... (this is SO embarrassing!) ------------------>Later...<---------------------- _______ >=-| \_____/ \ Pie! remember how SM said that he had a teleporter? he could conquer the world with that kind of power... you're right! we should do something... _______ >=-| \_____/ \ I'll have to go... INCOGNITO! I'll sneak into their base and destroy the teleporter! you stay here, Pie. you can keep track of my position at a computer. ----------------------------------------------------- --|>=-) - there! I shall be called, skinny hat man (SHM). hows that sound? _______ \_____/ \ awesome! that sounds great, Petite Hat Man. --|>=-| - NO! Skinny Hat Man! _______ \_____/ | Spindily Hat Man! Hey, that sounds even better! --|>=-( - NOOOOOOOOOO! Skinny Hat Man! _______ \_____/ | Spiny Hat Man? Your hat doesnt look very spiny. Maybe Spine Hat Man... --|<=-( - ach... make up whatever funny name you want... I don't care _______ \_____/ | take back whatever money I want? SURE! THANKS! ----------------> Later at one of Sombrero Man's bases... <------------------------- ___________ | | | | | | | | | | | C|>=-D | | | --|>=-) """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___________ | | | | | | I'm Skinny Hat Man, and I'd like | | | to join forces with you! | | C|>=-D | | | | --|>=-D """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ___________ | |GROOVEY, baby! but today is "Disco Friday". | |we dont plan any fiendish schemes today! | | so come in and DISCO! | | | | | | C|>=-D | | | --|>=-) """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ----------------------->Inside....<------------------------- ______________________________________________ o o o o o o o o o o o o * * * * * * * * \ _ / * '' | '' - |#| - '' C|=-D '' / | \ '' | '' '' --|=-D '' _|_ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ______________________________________________ o o o o o o o o o o o o * * * * * * * \ _ / * | - |#| - C|=-| / | \ | '' --|=-| '' _|_ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | | Hmm... I recognize (oh noes!) Um, you see... your dancing... you I'm Skinny Hay Man (SHM) dance like THM!! it's the HM in our names that makes me dance like him... ______________________________________________ o o o o o o o o o o o o * * * * * * * \ _ / * | - |#| - C|=-D / | \ | '' --|=-) '' _|_ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" \ Oh I see! phew! I was afraid I was being tricked! ------------------>In the "Planning Room Of Planning Doom"...<------------------ ok... lets see... Evil Assistant, why dont you read the minutes! | | C|>=-) >8-) --|>=-) | | 12:30 AM ahh! good. now to take over the world! Evil Assistant, show mister Skinny Hat Man the evil invention. | | C|>=-) >8-) --|>=-) | ___ \5/ >8-D --|>=-O - GROOOOOOVY! | here it is, The Teleportation Device! ___ \5/ >8-| --|<=-D - oops... \ um... its no longer Disco Friday... we disco'ed passed midnight ___ \5/ <8-O oh no! --|>=-D | HAHA! but im really Top Hat Man incognito! Top Hat Powers, GO!!!!!!!!!!!! \\\\\ ///// \\\\\ ///// \\\\\///// ----- ==|>=-D ----- /////\\\\\ ///// \\\\\ ///// \\\\\ ///// \\\\\ / /// /////// ////////////////// <8-O ''''''''''''''''' ==|>=-D <<<<<<<<< \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\ \\\ \ ------------------------------>Much Later...<------------------------------ _____________________________________________ ==|>=-) \ time machine destroyed, now back to home! _____________________________________________ ==|<=-( \ but I forgot where is home... _____________________________________________ ==|>=-| \ Pie... come in! I need to know where I am! _______ /_______\/ (|\_____/|) \ -/ 10-4 THM! you're on earth! _____________________________________________ ==|>=-) \ got my bearings, Pie! I'm on my way! ---------------->The End!<------------------------------ ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 9: Encounter with a third kind ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ -----------*******------------------------ -------^---* -|- *---^-------------------- -----------*_/0\_*------------------------ -----------**/|\**------------------------ y0Vr h1gHn3$$! w3 h@V3 d1$<0v3r3d @n AoL @li3n $h1p! -|- /0\ /|\ ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ -----------*******------------------------ -------^---* -|- *---^-------------------- -----------*_/0\_*------------------------ -----------**/|\**------------------------ 3X<3lL3nT! <0om3nC3 w1tH th3 pl@N! y3$, y0Vr h1gHn3$$. -|- /0\ /|\ * * * * * * * * * * * ________ ___ * ( O O O )#>#>#>#>#>#>(AOL) """""""" """ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ________ ___ * ( O O O )#>#>(AOL) """""""" """ * * * * * ---------->Inside the warez alien's ship...<--------------- __________________________________________________ ! -|- -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ | | / \''''''' ! -|- -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ | | / \ ! -|- -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ | | | |!| -|- -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ | | ''''''|!| -|- -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ | | / \ -|- -|- ~ -#- /|\ /|\ ~ / \ /|\ /|\ ! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ |''''' | / \ -|- -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ ! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ | | _|_ |-|-| -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ ! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ | _|_ |-|-|'''''''' -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ ! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ | _|_ |-|-| -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ ! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ | | / \ -|- -|- -#- /|\ /|\ / \ /|\ /|\ ! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" __________________________________________________ |-'' -|- -1t w0rK3d!! #- /|\ /|\ \ /|\ /|\ ! """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ----------->Meenwhile...<------------------------ _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|=-D | hey Pie, watcha listenning to? _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|=-O | Pie? Pie! PIE!!! _______ /_______\ / *tap tap* (|\_____/|) ==|=-o \ _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|=-| / ach... he cant hear a thing... ! _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|=-D | well, I guess I can go and mess with all his stuff! hey! _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|=-o / so you COULD here me? well, I just came up with this technique of filtering useless information. Wear headphones all the time and pretend you dont hear what you dont want to hear! smart huh? _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|>=-o | hey! so that makes me useless information! _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|>=-O \ you know... that really makes me mad! _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|>=-O / pie... PIE!?!?!? you see, that was a prime example of my extremely marketable teqnique in action! _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|>=-( | Answer me this: how fast can you run? That won't be useless information... Very funny. _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|=-) _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|=-D / hey you wanna see whats on the tv? sure! _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) ==|=-) ---------------------------------------------------------- _______ \_____/ ==|=-O \/ [_] - And now for breaking news... It's incredible! A hideous monster is charging through the streets of Chicago! It looks like an aol alien with the head of a warez alien! As you can see behind me, it appears to be aproaching the empire state building! _______ \_____/ ==|=-| \/ [_] - but... um... oops... never mind... hey steve! wrong backdrop! its supposed to be Chicago! No you idiot! Chicago doesn't have Big Ben! It's the next one! Finally... ah thats better... Ahem! As I was saying, this horrendous monster is aproaching the Sears tower! pie! we have to stop this monster! _______ / \_____/ ==|>=-| ------------------>In Chicago...<------------ | | | | | | | | ___________ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | |-| | | |-| | | |-|| | |-| | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|- ''''=O - - - O=''' - - - - -/#\- - - - - - - - - - - - - / \ ''''=O - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _________________________________________________ | | | | | | | | ___________ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | |-| | | |-| | | |-|| | |-| | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" - - - - - - - - More... FOOD! - - - - - - - - - - -|- NO FEAR! THM IS HERE! - - - - - - - - - - -/#\- - - - - - - - -/- - - - / \ ==|>=-D'''''' - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _________________________________________________ | | | | | | | | ___________ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | |-| | | |-| | | |-|| | |-| | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" - - - - - - - - *Snort!*- - - - - - - - - - - - - -|- - - - - - - - - - - -/#\- - - - - - - - - - - - - / \ ==|>=-)''''''' - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _________________________________________________ | | | | | | | | ___________ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | |-| | | |-| | | |-|| | |-| | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|- - - - - - - - - - - -/#\- - - - - - - - - - - - - / \|<=-O - - - - - - - - - *Squish!- - - - - - - - - - - - _________________________________________________ | | | | | | | | ___________ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | |-| | | |-| | | |-|| | |-| | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|- - - - - - - - - - - -/#\- - - - - - - - - - - - - / \<=-O - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _________________________________________________ | | | | | | | | ___________ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | |-| | | |-| | | |-|| | |-| | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|- - - - - - - - - - - -/#-<=-(- - - - - - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _________________________________________________ | | | | | | | | ___________ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | |-| | | |-| | | |-|| | |-| | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|- *Gulp!* - - - - - - - - - - -/#/- - - - - - - - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _________________________________________________ ------------------>Back at THM's base...<-------------- thm? do you read me? oh no! _______ /_______\/ (|\_____/|) -/ ------------------------------------------------- | | | | | | | | ___________ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | _ | | _ | | _ | | _ | | |-| | | |-| | | |-|| | |-| | """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|- *BUUURRRP!* - - - - - - - - - - -/#\- - - - - - - - - - - - - / \ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _________________________________________________ ------------------------------------------------- wait... what was that! it sounded like an enormous explosion! thm, did you do that? did you kill it? _______ /_______\/ (|\_____/|) -/ ach... just fuzz... I guess I'll have to just go over there and help him out... _______ /_______\/ (|\_____/|) -/ --------------------------------------------------- _______ |"""""""""""""""| (_)-X | | _______ | | _______ X-(_) | -|- | ->(_)-X | \#- | *POW! POW! POW!* \|/ | / \ | - O - | | /|\ _|_ _______ | ____ (___)__ (_______) | (____) | (__) |____ | (_____) _______ |"""""""""""""""| (_)-X | -|- | _______ | -#\ | _______ X-(_)<- | / \ | (_)-X | | \|/ | | - O - | | /|\ _|_ _______ | ____ (___)__ (_______) | (____) | (__) |____ | (_____) *ROAR!!!* _______ -|- (_)-X /#\ ~ / \ _______ |"""""""""""""""| ->(_)-X | | ~ _______ | | ~ X-(_) | | | | \|/ | | - O - | | /|\ _|_ _______ | ____ (___)__ (_______) | (____) | (__) |____ | (_____) good bye cruel world! \ _______ -|-''' (_)-X - He's gunna jump! /#\ / \ _______ |"""""""""""""""| (_)-X | | _______ | | X-(_) | | | | \|/ | | - O - | | /|\ _|_ _______ | ____ (___)__ (_______) | (____) | (__) |____ | (_____) ------->Inside a cocpit...<-------- ___ [___] =o =| \ Sir! the monster is trying to kill himself! we need a psychologist up here... and fast! ------------------------------------ _Dramatic and touching music begins_ _______ -|- (_)-X /#\ / \ =O _______ |""""""\""""""""| (_)-X |did your parents _______ | have any | X-(_) | marital | | problems? | \|/ | | - O - | | /|\ _|_ _______ | ____ (___)__ (_______) | (____) | (__) |____ | (_____) orgle snort snort... _______ -|- (_)-X /#\ / \ =O _______ |""""""\""""""""| (_)-X |I'm so sorry to hear... _______ |sometimes when im angry X-(_) |I like hitting something... | | \|/ | | - O - | | /|\ _|_ _______ | ____ (___)__ (_______) | (____) | (__) |____ | (_____) _______ -|- (_)-X /#\ / \ *STOMP!* _______ |"""""""""""""""| (_)-X | *SQUISH!* | _______ | | X-(_) | | | | \|/ | | - O - | | /|\ _|_ _______ | ____ (___)__ (_______) | (____) | (__) |____ | (_____) I do feel better! _______ -|- (_)-X /#\ / \ _______ |"""""""""""""""| (_)-X | | _______ | | X-(_) | | | | \|/ | | - O - | | /|\ _|_ _______ | ____ (___)__ (_______) | (____) | (__) |____ | (_____) ----------------->Later...<---------------------- so thm, how did you escape the monster's stomach? _______ \_____/ ==|=-) / ohh its a long story... you wouldn't believe it anyway... \/ [_] _______ \_____/ ==|=-) / I visited the monster the other day... he's doing better thanks to the counselor. he got a job at burger king! \/ [_] really? thats so great to hear. he's really improving! _______ \_____/ ==|=-) / well all's well that end's well, that's what I say! \/ [_] ---------------->The End!<-------------------------- ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 10: Anybody home? Part I _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | 8-D \ I am finished! this is it! the most fiendish of all inventions! _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ''''8-D _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | >8-O \ MC2! take control of... Top Hat Man! WHIRRRRRRRRR!!! ****** _____ ******* | | ____ ** _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | >8-D '''****** '''''******* '''''** _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | >8-D ------------------------------------------- \/ [_] . <-remote control ==|<=-( \ man, there's nothing on! \/ [_] *click* *click* . ==|<=-( \/ [_] ******''''''' *******'''' . **''''''''' ==|>=-| \ whats that?? \/ [_] ******''''' *******'' %%%%%%%%%**''''''' %==|<=-O% *ZAP!* %%%%%%%%% \/ [_] *Poof!* ==|<8-| \/ [_] *Blink, blink!* ==|>:-O \/ [_] ==|>8-O \ ... \/ [_] ==|>8-D \ HAHAHAHAHA! It worked! I am now controlling thm! I am a genius! mind control! hahahahahahahahahaha! \/ [_] ==|>8-| \ hmm... I hear steps... Pie is coming! I can't let him know that I'm controlling THM! \/ [_] _______ \_____/ | ==|>8-D hey thm! anything good on? \ nope... um... nothing... uh... OH YEAH! I DID SEE A REPORT ON HOW MIND CONTROL IS SO... um IMPOSSIBLE!!! YEAP... I SURE AM NOT UNDER MIND CONTROL! YEAH.... NOT ME!!! \/ [_]haha! it worked! _______ o \_____/ o | ==|>8-D ok... um yeah... uh... you ok??? | boy am I ever! IM SO FINE!! NOTHING TO SUSPECT!! BUT I SURE AM GLAD IM NOT UNDER MIND CONTROL!!! GOOD THING EVIL ASSISTANT ISNT USING A MIND CONTROL DEVICE... NOT THAT HE HAS ANY!... TO CONTROL THM's... I MEEN MY... MIND!!! YEAP.... GOOD THING... \/ he's not suspecting a thing! [_] o _______ o \_____/ o | ==|>8-D uh... thm? your eyes... they seem strange... | im taking some.... uh... medicine that has side-effects... YEAH! You see, I'm taking this medicine that makes my eyes look like mine... I meen evil asistant's... _______ \/ ach... i forgot to do the eyes!\_____/ [_] o ~ \ o ~ well, you o ~ seem busy or ==|>8-D something... see ya... \ yeah bye! ---------------->At Evil Assistants lab...<-------------------- _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | <=-O \ blehhh! where... where am I? I... I... I AM EVIL ASSITANT! but... how... what... what happenned?... I... those... those *'s! they came after me and they attacked me! now I seem to be evil assistant... but... the eyes aren't right... --------------->Back at THM's base...<---------------------- \/ [_] ==|8-| \ hmm... wait... what did I do with thm's conciousness? I forget... wait... didnt I... OH NO!! I MUST GET BACK TO THE LAB!! I SWITCHED BODIES! ----------------------------------------------------------- _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | >=-O | this machine! it must have done it! hmm... there is a manuel sitting in front of it... maybe I could go back... _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ___ | | | <-manuel """ >=-| \ hm... I see... aha! oho! is that so! my my! wow... _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ___ | | | """ >=-) / hehe.... maybe I should first have some fun... -------------------------------------------------- ____________ __/ | | | | | |\___ | "" " " " " " " | <-limo $)''''''' <-bill gates ""O""""""""""""""O" ____________ ********''''' __/ | | | | | |\___ ********'' | "" " " " " " " | $o *****''''''' ""O""""""""""""""O" ____________ *******''''' __/ | | | | | |\___ %%%%*******'' | "" " " " " " " | %$O%****''''''' ""O""""""""""""""O" %%%% ____________ __/ | | | | | |\___ | "" " " " " " " | =O - it worked! ""O""""""""""""""O" ____________ __/ | | | | | |\___ | "" " " " " " " | =) - hehehehe... ""O""""""""""""""O" --------------------------------------------------------- _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ___ | | | """ >$-O | woh! where am I? what happened? I'm... I have a more complex ascii art body! but I have the same eyes... maybe I should read this manuel... --------------------------------------------------------- ____________ __/ | | | | | |\___ | "" " " " " " " | =D - awesome! this is gunna be great... ""O""""""""""""""O" ____________ __/ | | | | | |\___ | "" " " " " " " | =)''''' ----------------------------------------------------------- ==|<8-O \ oh no... oh no... what can I do! I must get back to the lab... ----------------------------------------------------------- _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ___ | | | """ >$-D / awesome! I... I can be anyone I want! I've always wanted to be a super hero!... MC2... TAKE CONTROL OF TOP HAT MAN!!! ---------------------------------------------------------- *********'''''''' *************''''' ==|8-D ****** ***'''' \ hey... thats... THM! he must be trying to switch again! ----------------->At Bill Gate's throne room...<----------- _| |_ ^ |\|=)|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## =o ## \ ## oh great bill gates! ## what would you like me to ## do? please be merciful! haha! I'm in a bad mood... first... add twenty-seven critical security holes to Windows... NEXT... you're fired! SHOO! _| |_ ^ |\|=D|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## =O ## \ ## oh no!!! ## ## _| |_ ^ |\|=)|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## '''''=O ## ## ## ## ---------------->Meanwhile...<---------------------------- _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ___ | | | """ >8-O \ finally! back at my lab... _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ___ | | | """ >8-O \ but I've always wanted to be a police man... maybe I could switch with one nearby so if I dont like it I can come back and switch back! ----------->A random police officer...<---------------- . whats that? __/"""\_ | ************''' | POLICE | % O *******''' "O""""O" *********'''''' -------------------------------------------------------- _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ___ | | | """ <%-O | woh! where am I? I... I'm different! but my eyes are the same... _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ___ | | | """ <%-O \ maybe this manuel will tell me what happened... ----------------------------------------------------- ahh... this is the life! _| |_ ^ |\|=)|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## ## ## ## ## ach... i ran out of pepsi! S E R V A N T S ! ! ! ! ! ! _| |_ ^ |\|=O|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## ## ## ## ## _| |_ ^ |\|=)|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## =O'''''' ## =O'''''' ## =O'''''' ## =O'''''' ## \ what is it, your majesty? that took you ten seconds!!! get me more pepsi... and by the way... YOU'RE FIRED! SHOO!! _| |_ ^ |\|=O|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## =O ## =O ## =O ## =O ## \ oh no! hm... i need that mind control machine again... im getting bored... S E R V A N T S ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! _| |_ ^ |\|=||/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## ## ## ## ## I need a mind control machine! you will find it in evil assistants lab, high up on a cliff! and bring anyone you find nearby to me also! send out my personal swat team to capture it! oh, and after you do that... YOU'RE FIRED!! SHOO!!! _| |_ ^ |\|=O|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## ''''=O ## ''''=O ## ''''=O ## ''''=O ## \ oh no! ------------------>Back at the lab...<------------------- put your hands above your head and nobody will get hurt! hand over the machine! / _____ \ o=< | | >=o''' o=< ____ _____ /"""""""| >=o''' o=< [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| >=o''' o=< |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- >=o''' o=< | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | >=o''' <%-O \ bill gates' personal swat team! -------------------------------------------------------- it appears that bill gates' personal swat team are closing in on evil assistants lab! shots are fired! finaly a police officer is arriving at the scene! / \/ [ ] ==|>$-D \ awesome! an excellent situation for a superhero to save the poor person being attacked! -------------->At the lab...<----------------------------- +_Exciting music begins_+ ''''''==|>$-) \ top hat man, to the rescue!!! _____ o=< | | >=o o=< ____ _____ /"""""""| >=o o=< [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| >=o o=< |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- >=o o=< | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | >=o \ right away, Gates! <%-O hurry, men! load it on the truck!- =o ____ ____________ | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" wirr! wirr! . __/"""\_ ''' | POLICE |''' "O""""O" ==|>$-O | hey wait... thats me! Bill Gates! _____ o=< | | >=o o=< ____ _____ /"""""""| >=o o=< [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| >=o o=< |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- >=o o=< | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | >=o <%-O | hey wait... thats me! the Random Police Officer! =O - hey wait... thats me! Top Hat Man! ____ ____________ | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" hey wait... thats me! Evil Assistant! / . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" - - - - - - - - - - - - - { T O B E C O N T I N U E D ! } - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _ _ | [] |> |-| /-\ | /|\ /-\ |\| | Episode 10: Bland Finale (Part II) ------------------>Last Episode...<------------------- ==|>$-O | hey wait... thats me! Bill Gates! _____ o=< | | >=o o=< ____ _____ /"""""""| >=o o=< [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| >=o o=< |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- >=o o=< | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | >=o <%-O | hey wait... thats me! the Random Police Officer! =O - hey wait... thats me! Top Hat Man! ____ ____________ | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" hey wait... thats me! Evil Assistant! / . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" --------->And now for the continuation...<------------- ==|>$-O <%-O _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" Fedora Man... to the RESCUE! \ (-=<|3 ? ==|<$-o ? <%-o _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 o __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" hand over the princess, you dog! \ O-=<|3 !!?!? ==|<$-O !?!?! <%-O _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" o-=>|3 you moron! you're in the wrong comic! this comic is called tophatman! / ==|<$-O <%-O _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" ...oops... thats right... soooo sorry!!! \ )-=>|3 ach... what comic are you supposed to be in? / ==|<$-O <%-O _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" Top Hat Man (it has spaces and capitalization) \ )-=>|3 oh! well... THATS THE SAME YOU MORON!! YOU @#$@ @$@!@ $$#@! %$^#! #@$! %$#! IDIOT! / ==|<$-O <%-O - (zounds. he's grumpy.) _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" what??? WHAT??? WAHHHHHHH!!!! I'M NOT AN IDIOT!!!!! WEHHHHH!!!!! TAKE IT BACK!!!! \ )-=>|3 ' oh GREAT... your CRYING now... / ==|>$-O <%-O _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" ------->Now Bill Gates (who's controlling THM) that wasn't very nice!<------- )-=>|3 SHUT UP YOU @!#$$#@$%@#@#$@!# RETARD OF A NARATOR!!! \ ==|>$-O <%-O - (zounds. even more random characters. he's angry.) _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" --->THAT'S IT... NEVER INSULT THE NARATOR... Y O U S H A L L P A Y ! ! !<------- )-=>|3 great... I'm fired... \ ==|>$-| <%-O _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" )-=>|3 ********* * * * = = | > $ - O * * * ********* <%-O _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" (-=>|3 *Poof!* <%-D - FINALLY! that guy was really obnoxious... _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" yeah no kiddin' | . 8 D __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" o-=>|3 <%-O - OK EVERYBODY! LETS TRY THIS AGAIN! _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" yeah and fedora man, you're on episode 14. | . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" ''''''''''o-=>|3 <%-O - HURRY! We hafta catch bill gates before he runs of with MC2! _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| __ [____}----{_____] / | ____ ____________ | | \ \ / / | |- | | \ __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | | |__\_ | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|_| | ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO""""""""""""O"OO" O""""O" (little does he know there is no epsiode 14!... he was supposed to be in this episode! Teeheehee. I tricked him!) o o o . 8 O __/"""\_ | POLICE | "O""""O" ''''''<%-O - wait for me! _____ | ____ _____ /""""""" ''''' __ [____}----{_____] / ____________ | | \ \ / / | '''''' __/ | | | | | |\___ | |-/""""\ /""""" | "" " " " " " " | |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ""O""""""""""""""O" ""O"OO""""""""""O"OO"""""""""""" WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR!!! . ''''' _/"""\__ | POLICE | "O""""O" -------------------->Mean while...<----------------------------------- |""""""| |""""| | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| """""""""""""""""" _______ \_____/ \ ooh! this website sells upper-end computers!! nice... I think I'm gunna buy this one... _______ \_____/ - I better check how much money I have... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ _____________ _______ [<--Money Room] \_____/ ''''''' """"""|"""""" ________ |PIE's $ | |""""""""| |$ | _______ |""""""""| \_____/ -hmmm.... | | """""""" ________ |THM's $ | |""""""""| |$$$$ $ $| |""""""""| |$ $$$ $$| """""""" ________ |PIE's $ | |""""""""| |$ | _______ |""""""""| \_____/ -... | | """""""" ________ |THM's $ | |""""""""| |$$$$ $ $| |""""""""| |$ $$$ $$| """""""" ________ |PIE's $ | |""""""""| |$ | _______ |""""""""| \_____/ | | o """""""" o is any body looking..? ________ |THM's $ | |""""""""| |$$$$ $ $| |""""""""| |$ $$$ $$| """""""" ________ |PIE's $ | |""""""""| |$ | |""""""""| | | """""""" ________ |THM's $ | |""""""""| |$$$$ $ $| _______ |""""""""| \_____/''''' |$ $$$ $$| """""""" ________ |PIE's $ | |""""""""| |$ | |""""""""| | | """""""" ________ |THM's $ | |""""""""| |**** $ $| _______ |""""""""| $$$$ \_____/ |$ $$$ $$| """""""" ________ |PIE's $ | |""""""""| |$ | |""""""""| | | """""""" ________ |THM's $ | |""""""""| | $ $| _______ |""""""""| $$$$ \_____/ |$ $$$ $$| ~ ~ ~ """""""" ~ ~ ------------------->At Bill Gate's Mansion...<------------------ SERVANTS!!! BRING ME THE MC2!!! _| |_ ^ |\|=O|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## =O ## =O ## =O ## =O ## \ right away, your magesty! now... YOUR ALL FIRED!!! SHOO!!! _| |_ ^ |\|=O|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## =O ## =O ## =O ## =O ## \ oh no! ------------------------------------------------------------ technicians! modify the MC2 so that it will work as a transmogrifier! _| |_ ^ |\|=O|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## 8o ## 8o ## 8o ## 8o <--(technicians) ## \ yes sir! _____ | | ____ _____ /"""""""| [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | -------------------------------------- finished? Good. now you're fired... SHOO! _| |_ ^ |\|=O|/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## 8o ## 8o ## 8o ## 8o ## \ oh no! _____ \ / | | \ / ____ _____ /"""""""| || [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | _| |_ ^ |\| |/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## ## ## ## ## =D - MC2, turn me into a... monkey! _____ \ / | | \ / ____ _____ /"""""""| || [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | _| |_ ^ |\| |/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## ## ## ## ## *Poof!* _____ \ / | | \ / ____ _____ /"""""""| || [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | _| |_ ^ |\| |/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## ## ## ## ## \o/ |__ / \ ~ BOING! ~ _____ \ ~ / | | \~ / ____ _____ /"""""""| || [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | _| |_ ^ |\| |/| ^ |\|""|/| """""""""""""""##"""""""""""""""" ## ## ## ## ## o /|\_ / \ - sure is strange being a monkey... _____ \ / | | \ / ____ _____ /"""""""| || [____}----{_____] / __ MC2| |""| \ \ / / | /-|\ |- | |-/""""\ /""""" \__/ | ------------------>Meanwhile...<----------------------------- ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ -----------*******------------------------ -------^---* -|- *---^-------------------- -----------*_/0\_*------------------------ -----------**/|\**------------------------ -|- - tH3 m1$$|3 i$ f1N1$H3d! /0\ /|\ ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ -----------*******------------------------ -------^---* -|- *---^-------------------- -----------*_/0\_*------------------------ -----------**/|\**------------------------ \ 3X<3lL3nT! <0om3nC3 w1tH th3 pl@N! -|- /0\ /|\ * * * * * * * * * * * ________ * ( O O O ) o <--(earth off in the distance) """""""" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * POW! * ________ * ( O O O ) ''''''>--> o """""""" * * * * * * * * * * KABOOM!!! * \ \ \ \ | / / / / * \ \ \ / / / * * * \ \ | / / ________ \ \ / / ( O O O ) - - - - - X - - - - - """""""" / / \ \ * * / / | \ \ * / / / \ \ \ / / / / | \ \ \ \ ----------------------->The End!<------------------------- --------->(the end of EVERYTHING! THM is... DEAD!)<------- --------->this was the last episode...<------- -->why are you still reading?! its The End! the end of ALL Tophatman!<------- ----->you are expecting top hat man to miraculously save the day... aren't you?<---- ----------------------->well, he wont...<------------------------- ----->CAUSE HE's DEAD! its kinda hard to save the day when youre dead<---------- -------->fedora man was going to stop the Warez Aliens from destroying earth<---- -------->but he was tricked into thinking that he wasnt supposed to be in this episode<------ -------------------------->he was supposed to.<-------------------------- ---->and thats why pie, thm, evil assisant, bill gates AND EVERYONE... DIED!<----- ------------->and yet your still reading.<--------------- ---------->you think this is some big joke or something.<----------------- ----->you think if you scroll down just a few more lines youll see thm again<---- ----->...this isnt a joke! now you're probably gunna scroll down just because<---- ------------->there is more space in the scroll bar.<---------------------- ------->See? this IS the end! no more THM! even if you scroll down farther.<----- ------->Just like i said!<-------------- ------->So, as I was saying...<--------------------------- -----------> The End! <--------------------- ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _____________ | |_||\/| | | || | The Sequel Episode 1: Top Hat Man meets the Chronopractors \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-D \_____/ - I just got a new | graphing calculator! really? thats great! a few months ago i got a TI-92 plus. \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-) \_____/ - oh. | yeah. I installed a program that actually links up with a satellite and gives me a live feed of the earth from space. \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-D \_____/ - wow. | no kiddin'! all in 100 kb! unfortunately you cant zoom in. \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-o \_____/ - oh. | so basically it just looks black circle due to it's black & white screen (with 2 levels of grayscale!) and unholy dpi. \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-o \_____/ | \ so which model do you have? \ um... a TI1 "Gold Edition" it was cheaper than a TI1... (it has less ram) \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-o \_____/ | oh ok... have any good \ apps for it? \ \ I have a decent flight simulator! its called "Clancy TI" \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-D \_____/ | nice! what kind of controls\ does it have? \ \ not too great. typing on calculators is really tedious. \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ | typing?!? i thought \ it was a flight simulator? \ its text based. \|/ - O - /|\ ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ -"choose your own adventure" \|/ *~~~* - O - * ~~~ * /|\ * * * ________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | !!! _______ ==|=-O \_____/ | WHATS THAT??? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ \|/ ~~~ - O - ~~~ /|\ ~~~ || ~~~| | ~/____\ ||====|| ________________/________\______________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | !!! | !!! _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\______________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | ... | ... _______ ==|=-o \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| *************** ________________/________\****=D*=D*=D*=D**** _ _ _ *************** ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | ... | ... _______ ==|=-o \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\CHRONOPRACTORS(TM) TO THE RESCUE! ||====|| | | | | ________________/________\___=O_=O_=O_=O____ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | ... | ... _______ ==|=-o \_____/ | um.... what are you rescuing us from? \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\::shh! we're not finished:: ||====|| | ________________/________\___=|_=|_=|_=O____ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | ... | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ | oh! sorry... \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=)_=)_=)_=D____ | _ _ _they call me Tommy Time(TM)! ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\__=)_=)_=D_=)___ | _ _ _ and I'm Jenny Jet(TM)! ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=)_=D_=)_=)____ | _ _ _ howdy! ya'll can call me Reb(TM)! ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=D_=)_=)_=)____ | _ _ _ Greetings. I'm Professor Chronomis(TM) ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || I'm Bob the extra! | | / /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=O_=O_=O_=O___ | | | | shut up bob! _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-) \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ TOGETHER WE ARE THE... ||====|| | | | | ________________/________\___=D_=D_=D_=D____ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ChronoPractors(TM)! ||====|| | | | | ________________/________\___=D_=D_=D_=D____ Champions of the future(TM)! _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-o \_____/ | um... do all people from the future introduce themselves that way? \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=)_=)_=)_=o____ | yeah... I think its from watching too much tv. _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ | honestly, you all look the same to me. \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=)_=)_=)_=o____ | no-kiddin'. sometimes we mix each other up. it gets real bad when we forget our own names. as long as we stay lined up in the same order, then everything usually works out fine... _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ | right. so what do you um... "chromepackers" do? \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=)_=)_=)_=o____ | sometimes I whip out some impractical martial arts... usually though I just stand around acting reckless and brave. I think I have something to do with destiny or something like that... _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-| \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=)_=)_=o_=)____ | I do basically nothing. Sometimes I'll be captured and have to be rescued. I really dont know why I'm here. _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-| \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=)_=o_=)_=)____ | I think I'm supposed to be a country doctor or something along those lines. I often annoy people with random quaint sayings. Birds of a feather flock together! _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=o_=)_=)_=)____ | I mostly make obvious and inconclusive observations. _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || I die in the next scene! | | / /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=O_=O_=O_=O____ | | | | shut up, bob! _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-) \_____/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / ________ / \|/ / \ - O - / \ /|\ | | | | *C*R*A*S*H*!* \ / \________/\ ________________/XX/\/xX/\\X\___=D_=D_=D_=D____ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-( \_____/ | poor bob... \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=(_=(_=(_=o____ | Hold on... yeah, I think we messed up with what we were supposed to say. Let's try this again... _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ \|/ - O - /|\ || | | /____\ ||====|| ________________/________\___=D_=D_=D_=D____ | We're ChronoPractors(TM)! We massage time back into place. when the time-space vortex becomes unstable we sort of smooth out the joints and mend the tears in the fabric of time. _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ | what? that makes no sense! thats completely absurd! \|/ - O - /|\ || | | (I guess he doesn't understand /____\ o advanced future-stuff) ||====|| o ________________/________\___=|_=|_=|_=o____ | to put it in terms that YOU could understand could take all day. the problem is this: for some vaguely explained reason we have to take you through time and go on adventures and stuff. we'll have to take along your pie too. _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | !!!!! _______ ==|=-o \_____/ | | um.. right... | his pie?!?!? HIS PIE!?!? GO AHEAD AND SAY THAT TO-- \|/ - O - /|\ || CHRONO SHIFTER GO!!! | | /____\ ||====|| ************* /________\ **=D*=D*=D*=D** """"""""""""""""""""""""""""************* _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | ! ! | *********** ********** ****_______**** ****==|=-O**** ****\_____/**** ********** *************** -------------------------------------------------- % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * you're sailing through the world where mind and matter mingle! be careful not to fall off the Time Skiff(TM)! _______ | ==|=-o \_____/ =D =D =D =D :"""""""""""""""""""""""""""":-X """""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 * thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * all this high-tech machinery and they forget to put in a railing... o o _______ ==|=-| \_____/ =D =D =D =D |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 * thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * _______ ==|=-| \_____/ =| =| =| =| |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 * thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * ... ... ... ... ... _______ ==|=-| \_____/ =| =| =| =| |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 * thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * yo! did anybody bring any cards? _______ | ==|=-o \_____/ =| =o =| =| |"""""|"""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """""|""""""""""""""""""""""" um.. is there a restroom on this thing? 347 * thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D --------------->A few hours of boredom later...<-------- % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * _______ YAWWN... |-=>|== \_____/<=o <=o <=o <=o |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 * thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * hm... hehehe... | _______ (-=<|== \_____/<=o <=o <=o <=o |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 * thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * _______ AH!!!! '''(-=<|==\_____/<=o<=o<=o<=o |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 * thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * _______ (-=<|==\_____/<=O<=O<=O<=O |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 * thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * _______ ==|<=-D \_____/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X~~~~~~~~~~~ """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 347 * ~~~~~~~~~~~~ thought @ 42 =O =O =O =O ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * ahh! thats a relief! | _______ ==|<=-D \_____/ |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" \ 347 yeah... they were really irritating. thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * now how in the world would you fly this thing ? | _______ ==|>=-D \_____/ |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" \ 347 maybe it's voice operated thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * good idea! I'll try that | _______ ==|=-) \_____/ |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * TIME SKIFF(TM)! Take me to second century Rome! | _______ ==|=-O \_____/ - ??? |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D % 6 % e=mc^2 [] % 3.14159 12-7= * * *BEEP!* COMMAND ACCEPTED!* _______ ==|=-) \_____/ -!!! |"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|-X """"""""""""""""""""""""""""" 347 thought @ 42 ! + % % k $ @ ^ * # # # D --------------------------------------- _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | *POOF!* _______ ==|=-D \_____/ - what are you nuts?? \ why don't we just go home? \ because this has to be an EDUCATIONAL EXPIRIANCE!(TM) _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|$-D \_____/ - that must be the coliseum! \ and besides... photographs of rome... now thats one to sell to the museums! _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|=-D \_____/ - you brought a camera, right? \ yeap... it's right here... _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | *click!* . _______ ==|=-D \_____/ \ cheese! _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|=-D \_____/ - now can we go back? \ sure! _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|=-) \_____/ _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|=-) \_____/ _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|=-) \_____/ _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | ... ... _______ ==|=-| \_____/ _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|<=-( \_____/ \ um... top hat man, you do know how to get back... ... ... dont you? _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|<=-( \_____/ \ don't you?? _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|<=-( \_____/ | ... _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|<=-( \_____/ _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | _______ ==|<=-D \_____/ | ...I've got it! if just end the episode now, we wont need to figure out how to get back! we'll just miraculously appear back to our own time in the next episode!!! _________ ________| | | | | |______________________________ | | | | | | how do you end an episode? / _______ ==|<=-| \_____/ \ usually they end with some sort of punch line... // //// ////// ________////////______________________________ /////////// //////////// / \ / \/// / - - \// | /_ |/ | | HIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \ \____/ / MY NAME IS FRED!!!!!!!!! \_______/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ---------------->The End!<---------------- ______________________________________________________________________ © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_ ] [ [ |_|_|_ |_ |_ |_|_|_|_ ] ] |_ |_|_|_ |_ |_ |_ [ [ |_ |_ |_ |_ |_ ] ] |_ |_ |_ |_ |_ [ [ THE ] ] SEQUEL [ "~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~" Episode 2: Top Hat Man and the Disappearing Act I did invent a major big invention! | you must see, sombrero man! C|>=-) | | >8-D """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | ''C|>=-) | '''>8-) """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" wonderful! what does it do? __ | | | | C|>=-D /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" it is called the SuperTron O-Matic Machine 2000 | |""| | C|>=-D /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""" sounds impressive. what does it do? | | |""| C|>=-D /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | besides turning all humble dwelling into designer home? yes, um besides that. | | |""| C|>=-D /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | did I tell you it internet compatible? with a touch of a button, poof! connect to the internet! magic! it also has a memory stick slot! instant connection to all camera! um... ok... but what exactly does it do? | | |""| C|>=-D /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | two un-assignable pattented instant keys! one is "connect to the internet and set up a webpage that sells rare furbys" and the other is the letter "E". just one press button away from typing "E"! brilliant! WHAT DOES IT DO??!?!?! | |""| C|>=-| /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | and it comes in eight designer colors! "Green Leaf Green" "Orange Seed Tan" "Orc Blood Black" "BSOD Blue" "Masking Color Pink" ... W H A T D O E S I T D O ! ?! ?! !? | | |""| C|>=-O /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | it's function? oh oh oh! it makes things invisible! have you tested it out yet? | | |""| C|>=-D /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | see that missing part of floor over there? you thought typo! ha! it is invisible! then make me invisible! | | |""| C|>=-D /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | right on it, sombrero man! write on what? | | |""| *BEEP* C|>=-| /----\ | /|____|\>8-D''' "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | |""| *WHIRR* C | < = - O /----\ | /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | hahahahaha! it is working! haha! wow! it worked! haha! / |""| * /----\ /|____|\ >8-D "" """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" --------------->At THM's Base<----------------- so, Pie, whats new? / _______ ==|=-D \_____/ """"""""""""""""""""/""""""""""" I found a cool program online! ah! whats it do? / _______ ==|=-D \_____/ """"""""""""""""""""/""""""""""""" its executes. I know that... what else does it do? / _______ ==|=-| \_____/ """"""""""""""""""""/""""""""""""" no... its for deleting files. it displays a picture representing the file along with this other guy with a bloody axe. then the other guy chops up the file. quite gory! disturbing sound efects... sick... / _______ ==|<=-| \_____/ """"""""""""""""""""/""""""""""""" yeah I know... makes you almost feel sorry for the file. kind of like an accordion? / _______ ==|<=-) \_____/ """"""""""""""""""""/""""""""""""" a what? no. nothing like an accordion. why did you say that? I unno--I just felt the sudden urge... / _______ ==|<=-| \_____/ """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" did you hear that? (they heard me...) sounded like footsteps... o | _______ o ==|>=-o \_____/ *```` """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" !? _______ ==|<=-o \_____/ * """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|"""""" hear what? I didnt hear anything! I didn't say that!!! \ _______ ==|<=-O \_____/ * """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|"""""" did too! did not!!! \ _______ ==|<=-| \_____/ * """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""|"""""" did too! +sURE+, Pie. \ _______ ==|<=-D \_____/ * """"""""""""""""""""/""""""""""""""""""" seriously! I didnt say that! I wasn't arguing with myself either! suuurrrrre ?? \ _______ ==|<=-D \_____/ * """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/"""""" tophatman... I think youre such a looser! HEY! !! \ _______ ==|>=-o \_____/ * """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""/"""""" in fact, I'm challenging you to a one on one duel! (hehehe...) YOU'RE ON!! o \ _______ o O-=<|== \_____/ * """""""""""""""""""""""/"""""""""""""" I didnt say that!!! HONEST!!! SLICING POWERS, GO!! \ _______ (-=<|== \_____/ * """""""""""""""""""""""/""""""""/"""" STOP IT! STOP IT!/ / hah! go ahead and try moron! (darn... he's catching on...) !! o _______ o o-=<|== \_____/ * """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | you said two things at once!! maybe you werent talking... Finally! you believe me! _______ |-=|== \_____/ * """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" | then who WAS talking? why dont we go discuss that in front of the TV! | _______ (-=|== \_____/ * """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" great idea! ------------------------------------------- _______ \_____/[] ==|=-) [] <--(12oz cans) \/ [_] \ aaagghh! the aliens! theyre everywhere! _______ \_____/[] ==|=-) [] \/ [_] *```` / I'll save you! _______ \_____/[] ==|>=-| [] \/ [_] * `CLICK` hey! dont change it! I liked that! _______ \_____/[] ==|>=-O [] \ I didnt change it! you have the remote! \/ [_] * \ now add the margerine... mmm! doesn't that look good? crack two eggs then fold! I hate sports shows! _______ \_____/[] ==|>=-O [] \ but thats a cooking show... \/ [_] * `CLICK` then I hate cooking shows. _______ \_____/[] ==|>=-( [] \/ [_] * \ thats right! and if you call in the next twenty minutes, we'll give you a FREE Cotton-Terry bathrobe as our gift to you! AHHH!! NOT HOME SHOPPING NETWORK! IT CANT GET WORSE THAN THAT! _______ | \_____/[] ==|<=-O [] \ unless... no no no... it could never do that... \/ [_] * o o hehehehe... _______ \_____/[] ==|<=-O [] \/ [_] * `CLICK` AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! _______ AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!! \_____/[] ==|X-O [] AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! \/ AGGGGGGHHHHH!! [_] * AGGGGGGHHHHH!! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! _______ \_____/[] ==|<=-D [] \ / - POP! - ''''* / \ WHEW! _______ \_____/[] ==|<=-D [] ~~ ~~ <--smoke from the TV \_/ <-wreckage from the TV -------------------------------- I'm beginning to think our house is infested with ghosts! _______ | \_____/ ==|>=-o \ maybe so... that only leaves us one thing to do... _______ | \_____/ ==|>=-o \ what? something we should have done all along... _______ | \_____/ ==|>=-o \ call the ghostbusters? no! call tech support for the tv! _______ \ \_____/ ==|>=-| \ right... I knew that. ----------------------------------- _____ ---/ ___ \ <--cordless phone \/ \/ ==|=-o -hello? ======= _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) <--(no relation to Pie!) -/ thank you for calling soenii technical assistance. I'm pieman, how may I be of service? ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ \/ \/ ==|=-) - I own a tv ======= _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ good for you. ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ \/ \/ ==|=-o - I own a soenii tv ======= _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ what model number is it? ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ \/ \/ ==|=-) -its 17 inches ======= _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ *sigh* what does does it say next to the soenii ensignia in the lower right hand corner ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ ~~ \/ \/ ~~ ==|=-D -where? \_/ ======= _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ next to the soenii ensignia in the lower right hand corner ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ ~~ \/ \/ ~~ ==|=-D \_/ is the soenii ensignia black? ======= _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ no. its silver. ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ ~~ \/ \/ ~~ ==|=-D \_/ i only see a black one. ======= _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ right... whats the problem with your tv? ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ ~~ \/ \/ ~~ ==|=-D \_/ its not working. ======= _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ can you be more specific? ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ ~~ \/ \/ ~~ ==|=-D \_/ it exploded. ======= ? _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ right... try adjusting the hold. you can find the two knobs in the back of the tv... um... thats the side OPOSITE the screen. ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ ~~ \/ \/ ~~ ==|=-D \_/ there is no screen. it exploded. deafening. its filling the room up with smoke! ======= !!!!! _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ REALLY?? what where you doing at the time? ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ ~~ \/ \/ ~~ ==|=-D \_/ nothing. besides watching it. i know what did it, though? ======= _______ /_______\ (|\_____/|) -/ what do you think did it? ======= _____ ---/ ___ \ ~~ \/ \/ ~~ ==|=-o \_/ ghosts. for sure. *CLICK* _____ ---/ ___ \ ~~ \/ \/ ~~ ==|=-| \_/ \ hello? ----------------------------- so what did tech support say about ghost problems? _______ \_____/ ==|>=-| / nothing. this is the 5th time I had tech support hang up on me. 6th _______ \_____/ ==|>=-o / that time I was "accidentally" disconnected. well... our house is still haunted. what should we do now? _______ \_____/ ==|=-| - hmm... I dont know... ------------------------------ \|/ - O - /|\ _________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | I suppose this invisibility will wear off after a while... \ / \ * _/ \_ | | | [] | <--thm's house \|/ - O - /|\ _________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | ... _ / \ * _/ \_ | | | [] | \|/ - O - /|\ _________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | ... _ / \ * _/ \_ | | | [] | \|/ ____- O -________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _ / \ * _/ \_ | | | [] | -------------->A few hours later...<----- * * * * ( * * * * * * * * * _________________________________________ _ _ _ ( ) ( ) _ ( ) | | ( ) | | _ / \ _/ \_ * | | \ | [] | its getting cold outside... I think I'm gunna go in. -------------->Inside...<------------ what can we do, now that our tv's broken? _______ \ \_____/ ==|<=-o \ I dunno... we could go outside... hahaha... no, seriously. _______ \ \_____/ ==|<=-D \ I was serious. um right... _______ \ \_____/ ==|<=-| hehe... time for some fun... \ _______ '''''* \_____/ ==|<=-| _______ * \_____/ ==|<=-| \ I'm such an idiot! *flicker* !!! _______ C*=-D \_____/ ==|=-D / haha! you could say that again, Pie! ? ? | _______ C|=-D \_____/ ==|=-o | / in fact, I am so stupid you cant even comprehend it! ... ... | _______ C|=-D \_____/ ==|=-) | / I'm completely unaware of whats going on! an utter moron! do you hear us arguing? ! | | _______ C|<=-| \_____/ ==|<=-D | / hahaha! | _______ C|<=-| \_____/ ==|>=-) | / sorry to ruin your party, sombreroman! | _______ C|<=-O \_____/ ==|>=-O | / TOP HAT POWERS, GO!!! /// ///// | _______////////////// C|<=-) \_____/==|>=-D<<<<<< | \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\ \\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ BAM! /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////// |'''''' _______ C|=-|''' \XVXVX/==|>=-) |'''''' ////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ //////////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ____ \__/ ==|<=-\ \ | \ oops... \ thats *uumph!* fine. I'll be back to normal in just a few days... ____ \__/ ==|<=-) \ | \ kinda like an accordion. \ no. nothing like an accordion. -------------->THE END!<---------------------- ______________________________________________________________________ /- back to my blorg get firefox -\ |------------------------------------------------------------------| \- powered by planet mongo | | © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-) _ ___.-- \ \ | " \ | / _. -._\_ / /\__ /___ \___-| .;' | / "- \ \ \ \ / / \ / _/ \ / ;.../ /_.' | / |_.-" \ | \. ' |\ _-_ / '-. .-" \ / "- -" / _ \ \./ _\ _______ '._-' \ | .-" .-" | / / / "-. "-._.--" | \ \ ________________________________________ / ___ _ \ | | _ |_ _ _ _ | | | |-| |- _| |- | | | | |- | | | " " "' " " " | \________________________________________/ |_ \-> Episode 3: TopHatMan Meets the 3l1te hAxORs ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ -----------*******------------------------ -------^---* -|- *---^-------------------- -----------*_/0\_*------------------------ -----------**/|\**------------------------ t0PH@tm@N h@$ b3<0m3 @ nV1$@Nc3! d1$p0$3 0F h1M! -|- -|- -|- /0\ /0\ /0\ /|\ /|\ /|\ h0W $h0V|d w3 d0 th@T, y0Vr h1gHn3$$? ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ -----------*******------------------------ -------^---* -|- *---^-------------------- -----------*_/0\_*------------------------ -----------**/|\**------------------------ <0mM3N<3 w1TH... "th3 p|@N." !!! !!! !!! -|- -|- -|- /0\ /0\ /0\ /|\ /|\ /|\ ----------------------->Meanwhile...<------------ ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-) _______ \_____/ \ So THM, whatcha doing? ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-D - just playing some Quake, Pie. _______ \_____/ \ oh... you want to go outside? ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|<=-o - I'm sorry, what was that? _______ \_____/ \ outside! we could go play catch in a parking lot or something. ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|<=-| - that's what I thought you said... _______ \_____/ \ come on... it will be fun! A little fresh air is good for people. ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| '''' ==|<=-o - ach... all right. you sound like my mother. _______ '''''''\_____/ o o (uh oh... not a flashback... not a flashback!) ---------------------------------------------- -|- -|- -|- /0\ /0\ /0\ /|\ /|\ /|\ gR33tiNg$, fRi3nD. W3 n33D y0vR @$$i$t@n<3 V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ \ kooool! they need our assistance! lol! -|- -|- -|- /0\ /0\ /0\ /|\ /|\ /|\ V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ / k... no j/k! no..... really k. thiz is k00l ---------------------------------------------- ______ / \ ||""""""|| <--(an imac) || ||. ||______|| ', ||------|| -. \/ \/ (0) <--(its mouse) """""""""""""""""""""""""" V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ | tota||ee sweet! lol! u got a nu comp.! lololol! ______ / \ ||""""""|| || ||. ||______|| ', ||------|| -. \/ \/ (0) """""""""""""""""""""""""" V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ | ya... its AOL now! thats this kool email window lol! we can use that to HAXOR top hat man! ______ / \ ||""""""|| || ||. ||______|| ', ||------|| -. \/ \/ (0) """""""""""""""""""""""""" V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ \ | u no how 2 haxor????????? dude! of course I do! roflol! remember we're 3|iT3 H@x0r$? ______ / \ ||""""""|| || ||. ||______|| ', ||------|| -. \/ \/ (0) """""""""""""""""""""""""" V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ / k. l3ts st@rt hAx0ring... ______ / \ ||""""""|| || ||. ||______|| ', ||------|| -. \/ \/ (0) """""""""""""""""""""""""" V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ \ \ WHERE DO WE START \ i;ll st@rt by ordering some piza... we could hav3 a HAXORING SLEEPOVER!! ------>In the Planning Room of Planning Doom...<------ | C|>=-D >8-) | | It's time for another meeting | C|>=-) >8-D | | oh joy! meetings! they much my favorite! what will we do this meeting? | C|<=-o >8-| | | oh probably sit around and exchange fart jokes... | C|<=-) >8-O | | no, no, no! I mean what are we SUPPOSED to be discuss? | C|>=-D >8-) | | oh! ... TAKING OVER THE WORLD! | C|>=-D >8-D | | Good. I have GENIUS plan... better than the most fiendish of previous plans... Fiendisher than the most BETTER of plans previous... let my etsplain. -------------------------------------------- ______ / \ ||""""""|| || ||. ||______|| ', ||------|| -. \/ \/ (0) """""""""""""""""""""""""" we c@n start by trikking top hat man into givving hiz AOL pa$$woRd. \ V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ / wut if he duznt us a0l? ROFLOL ROFLOL!!! / \ V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ ------------>A little later...<---------- ______ / \ ||""""""|| || ||. ||______|| ', ||------|| -. \/ \/ (0) """""""""""""""""""""""""" hey! hers @n0ther THM! / V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ \ no... dats "The Happy Mariner" we need top hat lamb. lol! its "lam". your dum. \ V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ / sry. ... V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ may be he duznt us a0l. \ V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ / ya... may be. we shud cal him 2 tel him 2 use ao|! -------------------------------------- *Blam!* *Blam!* ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-D *ARRHH...* *Blam!* ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-D ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | *ring!* _|_|_ |____| *ring!* ==|=-O \ sounds like the phone! ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ''''''==|=-| ,-, <--(cordless phone) ==|=-o \ hello? th|s nuMb3r i$ uNTr@cab|3. Th!$ !s an anoNym0uS c@ll. d0 n0t !nv0|v3 th3 FDA. | ,-, ==|=-O / The Food and Drug Administration? Why would I involve them? um... I d0nt no... | ,-, ==|=-| no wait--i m3ant the fbi. sRY. | ,-, ==|=-o / No problem. l0g 0nt0 A0L Inst@nt Messang3r at... um... one-nine hUNdr3d hours? nah--that;s n0t it... whatev3r f!v3 o' clock w0u|D be !n arMY t!Me. Log on as "Top Hat Man". | ,-, ==|<=-o ... | ,-, ==|=-| *g!gg|3* +st0p pok!nG m3 luke!+ | ,-, ==|<=-o +h3y! I am n0t gay! my n@m3 is Brandon Gray--not gay. stop calling me dat! ur gay!+ | ,-, ==|=-| o o Brandon Gray... better right that down. ahem! AnYw@Y, th!s i$ an an0nymous ca|l, so beware. U beTt3R log 0n. | ,-, ==|=-o / why should I log on? um... 0R 3LSE! | ,-, ==|=-O / or else what? uM... | ,-, ==|=-o ... | ,-, ==|=-| (just hang up, brandon!) \ \ ,-, ==|=-| (ok 0k i;ll haNg up) / ,-, ==|=-| *click!* ,-, ==|=-| ,-, ==|<:-| *blink!* I just got an anonymous threat... \ ==|=-o''' _______ \_____/ \ Oh. What'd it say? Bad news. Our civilization is crumbling. It's the end of the world. Our only hope is to hide in the basement eating canned food and listenning to the radio for news of our destruction. The Rhineland has been fortified. \ ==|<=-o _______ \_____/ \ I guess I'm glad I didn't invest in those bonds... Well, we can't pick up anything here on the radio so I suppose we'll have to make due... ------->Outside Top Hat Man's House...<------------ _ __/\________(_)______________ / \ _ | |__| (_) | __ +\ <[]-| | \_/ C|>=-O >8-) -/*\+ | | All right, so here we are in front of Top Hat Man's house, and you still haven't told me what that thing does. I call it... the DistractoMatic 2,000,030,100,003 \ __ \ +\ <[]-| | \ \_/ C|>=-D >8-D -/*\+ | | Great! That's brilliant! How did you manage to achieve such a big number? Wow. I'm in awe... What does it do? When it actived, it goes ape. Here is the plan: You activate it, and I go and take secret things from Top Hat Man. It is GENIUS! FIENDISH! \ __ \ +\ <[]-| | \ \_/ C|>=-D >8-D -/*\+ | | Wow! Secret things. Those will be very helpful. Let's get rolling! ------------------------------------- ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-| / Well, here I am, logged on and waiting. ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-D / Ah! There! They just logged on. __ TopHatMan: Hello. kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: yo k00l u actly sgnd on? TopHatMan: Yes, I did. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here talking to you. You know you mispelled "anarchy" in your handle? kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: i ment to spl it lk th@t. sht p. TopHatMan: Ok. That's fine. kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: m l sf. TopHatMan: I'm sorry. What was that? kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: im a0l staf! want me to $pll it out??? ??????????????????????????????????????? TopHatMan: No, that's fine. I suppose you just did in a round-about way. So, you say you work for AOL? kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: y. i need ur p-word cuz i need 4 stff TopHatMan: Um... did you just ask for my password? kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: y no i need it. giv it t0 me. TopHatMan: Oh, ok. It's "fdj2k3". kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: lolololol. ROFLOL. no. 4 real. TopHatMan: That's really it. kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: giv it 2 me 0r i;l giv u a iris. kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: viris' kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: im an 3|1t3 h@x0R. kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: i can do tht. kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: hello?????????????????????????????? kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: uther!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111 TopHatMan: Do you mean a virus? How kind. That's my password. I have no reason to keep it secret. I made this account just to talk to you. __ ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ==|=-O *wirrr!* *clakakakakaka!* *bee-boop! bee-boop!* *chugga chugga chugga!* *kablooie!* ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ''''''''''==|<=-O / what was THAT?? ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| >8-D \ Ha! It worked! ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| ''''''>8-D \ I can take secret things from his computer-machine! ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| >8-D / Perfect! He seem to be in the middle of consorting with his cohorts! __ kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: t3l me th p-word. __ ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| >8-| / Ai! Oh no! His cohort wants password. I need to think of the password that he wants... __ TopHatMan: Moldy Cheese and Raddishes kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: g00d. that;s bett3r. __ ______ ____ | | | | | | | ---| |______| |o | _|_|_ |____| 8-) / What luckyness! __ TopHatMan: So, what are the--wink--plans? kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: ? kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: o. top secr3t. TopHatMan: Yes. Those. kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: we r h!r3d by the warez aliens TopHatMan: Good Heavens! The warez aliens? TopHatMan: I mean, right. Of course. What could be more natural! kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: hackers and warez aliens have alwys been allys. TopHatMan: THM is a hacker? TopHatMan: I mean, I'm a hacker? TopHatMan: I mean, right. Of course. What could be more natural! kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: ur a haxor 2?????!!!?!?!?!?!!!111 TopHatMan: Uh... TopHatMan: Yes. I'm a hacker. The most feared and fearless. kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: o no. could u hack me? TopHatMan: Do you want me to? kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: no no no no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 TopHatMan: Is something wrong? kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289: uh... sumting came up. i g2g. ________________________________ ]kidr0ckkoolsk8rboarder_anarky289[ Logged Off __ ______ / \ ||""""""|| || ||. ||______|| ', ||------|| -. \/ \/ (0) """""""""""""""""""""""""" V V V -|- -|- -|- / \ / \ / \ \ hury! turn out the l!ghts b4 he h@cks us! th@t w!ll surly stp him! *click!*########################## ################################## ################################## ################################## ################################## ################################## ###ouch! u stepped on my fo0t!#### ################################## ################################## #sry...########################### ################################## ################################## ######wut r u gay? stp tuching me# ################################## ################################## #no ur gay!####################### #################ur gay!!!!!###### ################################## ##G-HAY!!!######################## ################################## ################################## ################################## ################################## ###############ouch! stop k!cking# ####################h0mo!######### ################################## #####pervert!##################### ####################u cheated!#### ################################## --------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ -----------*******------------------------ -------^---* -|- *---^-------------------- -----------*_/0\_*------------------------ -----------**/|\**------------------------ -|- -|- -|- /0\ /0\ /0\ /|\ /|\ /|\ y0uR h!gHn3$$, th3 pL@N h@$ f@!|3d... ------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------ -----------*******------------------------ -------^---* -|- *---^-------------------- -----------*_/0\_*------------------------ -----------**/|\**------------------------ W H @ T ? ! ? y0u $ha|| b3 pun!$h3d... by d3@th! -|- -|- -|- /0\ /0\ /0\ /|\ /|\ /|\ 0H N0!!! th!$ !$ v3Ry b@d. w3 w!|| $uRe|y b3 3xc0mMUn1C@t3D. \ -|- -|- -|- /0\ /0\ /0\ /|\ /|\ /|\ \ ! tH!nK y0U m3@n 3XecUt3D... r!gHt. Wh@T $h0U|d w3 d0? \ -|- -|- -|- /0\ /0\ /0\ /|\ /|\ /|\ / p3rh@p$ w3 $h0u|D d3F3cT? ---------------------------------------- _ _ ~| ~| _|_ _|_ ___ _ /___\ /___\ / \ / \ /\ /\ |o o o| |o o o| /_____\ \ / / \ / \ \ /___\ / | o o o | _ \/_/\/ \|__|/\_______| |#####| |___| o o o |_______/ \ \ | ""| |" """ |#####| """"""""" | | \|___| |_________________|#####|_______________________| | __________________ |WELCOME TO PIELAND| """"""|""""|"""""" w3'r3 F1n@||y h3r3... tH3 &@t3 t0 fr33d0m... \ -|- -|- -|- /0\ /0\ /0\ /|\ /|\ /|\ / ! $upPo$3 w3 sH0u|d tRy t0 b|3nD !n... !f @nYb0Dy W3 kN0w r3Co&n!Z3$ u$, w3'r3 d0n3 f0r.. ------------->Inside Pieland...<---------------- _______ ____ . \_____/ \__/ ________ / \ . ______ _______ _________ \______/ / \/ \ \___ /_____\_____/ '\_____/'_______ / \ \ \_____/ ______ \_____/ | ______ | _______ \____/ _______ || .|| \_____/ _______ \_____/ ||______|| _________ \_____/_______ .-------. _______ _|_ \_______/ \_____/ \_____/ / | _|_ _______ ____ ________ ____ / _______\___|_ \_____/ \__/ \______/ \__/ | | .| | ____ -|- -|- -|- _____ _______ |_|_______|_____| \__/ /0\ /0\ /0\ \___/ /_______\ /\__/\________ /|\ /|\ /|\_____ (|\_____/|) / ____ \_ _____/_ _____ \___/ ____ || .| [] [] | \__r3m3mB3r... tRy t0 b|3nd !n... ||____|__________| ____ ________ \_____/ _______ __________ \__/____\__ ___ / ______ \_____/ / \ ____\__/ \_/ '----' _______ / o o o o \ \_____/ _______ _______ \_____/ | _____ | \_____/ \_____/ ||_____|_____| _______ .-------. ______ _______ \_____/ \_____/_______\____/_________ / . .. \ _______ _____ \_____/_____ '\_____/' /:.: . : .\ \_____/ \___/ _____ \_____/__________ /.._____ . .\ _______ \___/ ______ \________/ || .| :| \_____/ \____/ ||_____|__| -------------->Meanwhile...<------------------------- _ __/\________(_)______________ / \ _ | |__| (_) | D-=<|== / __ AHA! Sombrero Man! +\ <[]-| It's top hat time \_/ | for you! /*\ C|>=-D | / You're on! Go ahead and try! T P O O\\\\\\\ P W \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ | H E >>> (-=<|== GO!!! C|>=-D A R ////////////// | T S////// | C|>=-D - You're getting slow, \\\\\\\ | ~ Top Hat Man! \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ~ >>>O-=<|== ////////////// ////// | '''c| <--(mini sombreros) C|>=-D '''c| | | '''c| Take this! ==|>=-D / Sorry, but that's not gunna _cut_ it! | C|>=-| ' | ' ' ' ' ' ==|>=-D<<< c| ' ' | c| ' Dodging your Sombreros c| is like dodging a slow moving farm vehicle! LET'S SEE IF MY TOPHAT FITS YOU! \ / /// ////// | /////////// C|>=-D ==|>=-D <<< | | \\\\\\\\\\\ Ha! It would, if you would \\\\\\ have gone on Atkins! \\\ \ '''<8-O \ Aiiaiai! Sombrero Man! Top Hat Man is in league with the Warez Aliens! | C|<=-O ==|<=-O | \ / What?? What are you talking about?? <8-| | C|<=-| ==|<=-| | <8-| ... ... | | | C|<=-| ==|<=-| | <8-D It was all a misunderstanding! I meant not a word of it! No hard feelings, eh old chap? | \ C|<=-D ==|<=-D | \ None at all! For old times sake, why don't we go and have some tea and crumpets at my place, eh? <8-D Splendid! | \ C|<=-D ==|<=-D | --------->Later, at one of Sombrero Man's bases...<-------- [THM] Mmm... what is this, green tea? \ |"""""""""""| - [EA] Aiaiaiiaai! Nooooo! Dont Dreenk eet! | | Eet's a poeeson! | | | | _ | | (_) | | | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" [THM] *glug glug* I'm sorry, what was that? | |"""""""""""| - [EA] Aiaiaiiaaiaiaiaiiiai! | | | | | | _ | | ( ) | | | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ~ _ - / _ - _ - _ ~ | \ | / \ / \ | / >/ / --KABOOM!-- \ \ / | \ | _ \ / | \ \ (_) / / / """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" ------------->The End!<----------------------- ______________________________________________________________________ /- back to my blorg get firefox -\ |------------------------------------------------------------------| \- powered by planet mongo | | © 2007 Michael Bethencourt, some rights reserved -/ ==|>=-)