104:138) Eric A. Hochman
Date: 09-APR-94   3:02
 I knew tonight's ride home was going to be interesting, because from
 now through Sunday, the entire West Side from 42nd St. through South
 Ferry has been declared a YELLOW TRAIN ZONE.  It was even announced
 in the newspapers today.  No 2 or 3 trains to Brooklyn - they suggested
 some strange detour involving an N train, and there was NO WAY I
 was going to do that, after Lindy's warning about all the disappearing
 N trains.

 There were signs all day that something was wrong in the subway.  On the
 way uptown, I saw a train go by that was half red cars and half silver.
 If you know about trains, you'd realize that this is the equivalent of
 seeing someone walking a pet that was half dog and half cat.  Even in
 NY, things like that just aren't done.

 So of course, I took the D train home.  I mean, if all these strange
 things happen to me normally on the 2, what could I expect when they tell
 you in advance that the service will be fucked up?  Besides, I knew
 I wouldn't see a yellow train if I took the D, because they were all busy
 tonight over on the IRT.  Right, Janet?  Right.

 So there I was on the D train, trying to read a copy of 2600 and drink
 a large can of Chaos iced tea (little did i know how appropriate a drink
 it was).  It was not to be.  At the opposite end of the car, some guy
 was doing a continuous rant about racial injustice.  More or less,
 anyway.  He started talking about Mayor Giuliani being the spawn of the
 devil (his words, not mine), which made it hard to concentrate on my
 reading.  Just then, some stupid little kid looks at my magazine (which
 is subtitled "The Hacker Quarterly") and says to me "Hey mister, are you
 a hacker?"  Before I can answer, his mother grabs him by the arm and
 they walk to the opposite end of the car.  Fine, lady...so much for YOUR
 credit rating.

 We'd just gotten to 34th St, and I made the mistake of turning and looking
 out the window.  If you've been reading these posts with even the slightest
 amount of attention, you know what I saw across from me, sitting in the
 station, attracting a crowd.  Right...a big, ugly YELLOW TRAIN! This one
 had a flat car with something resembling a yellow picket fence on the
 sides, plus another one with one of those weird cranes.  WHAT THE FUCK
 WAS IT DOING THERE?  The driver thumbed his nose at me and started
 laughing, and I realized that while watching the train, I had poured
 half of my iced tea into my left shoe.  At that point, the loudmouth
 at the opposite end of the car was explaining to everyone that "white
 people are stupid because Christopher Columbus thought the world was
 flat."  Folks, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.  At least he
 didn't see me spill the tea.

 The rest of the trip was fairly normal, except for the continuous rant,
 which by the time I got to 7th Ave had moved to the fact that cellular
 phones cause ear cancer, and that the FDA was covering it up.  He probably
 kept talking all the way to Brighton Beach.  I would have gotten a sore
 throat after 10 minutes.  It's just so fucking weird how talent is
 distributed in the world.

 I decided to do a little midnight grocery shopping on the way home.  The
 local Korean deli was having a sale on cans of guava paste, and
 after that D train ride, I gave some serious thought to buying some. I
 wonder how guava pie would go over at the next Echo potluck dinner?

- - - - -
104:140 ) Perpetual Dawn
Date: 09-APR-94  21:22
 Does it never occur to you, Eric, that the ranters are ranting to keep YOU
 away from THEM?
- - - - -
.