."Interns and Doctors" 9 (of 27) SLIM D Jan. 7, 1989 at 19:36 (3762 characters) Interns and doctors... Fairly quickly after my original open-heart surgery, we noticed an effect which my father quickly named the Mother Hen effect. The doctor in charge of whatever I was in for (cardioversion sometimes, once an allergic reaction to the fluid inside the tissue enclosing my heart (post pericardiotomy syndrome, it's called--anyone want me to explain further?)) would come by on morning rounds leading a flock of interns, residents, and hangers on. The thing is that--especially in the early days--no one had ever seen a corrected transposition before. So all the heart-related people would come by and take a listen. And especially at teaching hospitals, all the MDs-in- training would listen too. Sometimes more than listen; one would be assigned my case to do an in-depth study for later presentation. A hundred questions, always the same ones. Drink? Smoke? Shortness of Breath? Often they were amazed when I could explain my history in detail. "Well, the original procedure in '59, the Baffis, performed at Chicago Children's Hospital at age three and a half, did not attempt to correct the transposition itself. Rather it addressed a related problem, a partial blockage in the Pulmonary Artery, by means of an inflatable balloon on the end of a catheter..." During rounds in teaching hospitals in the first decade after the surgery, the Mother Hen effect was most obvious. But even at other times, doctors would come in, ask how I was feeling, and just... examine me. Well, I didn't mind. If someone else with a corrected transposition turned up, I was happy enough to not have that person--who might need much more specialized help than I happened to--not be the very first the staff had ever seen. I haven't checked into a strange hospital in the last few years. So I don't know if corrected transpositions are old hat, now, or not. Certainly here at St Lukes they don't treat me like I'm news. Not anymore, at least! Are interns different from doctors? Certainly. They're not as busy. I suspect their schedules are just as full, but when they're assigned to a floor, they stay there for the whole time. They don't juggle private practice, office hours, home life, and administration. It's really tough as a patient to get five consecutive minutes of a doctor's time--at least whole one is in a hospital. Private appointments are different. An intern is more available. If you need to raise a problem, ask a question, or be told off for doing something stupid, they're there. I suppose they act as a screening service between the patients and the time-limited doctors. They are sometimes easier to get through to. They haven't gotten fixed in the authority figure mode. God made me a Doctor. Have YOU had such individual attention? But other times, this comes out as insecurity. Should I presume to mention that I know it's not a potassium imbalance, they may get quite upset--even if they were there when the potassium level results were discussed in my presence. I'm a patient, not really supposed to comprehend medical english, and definitely not supposed to understand technical jargon. And how DARE I have enough background to know what it all means?! And if I think about it and voice the obvious truths, I really threaten their fledgling egos and authority. Fortunately these latter kinds are not very common. There's usually at most one a team of four, so I can deal with other members. ---------- Are they getting better? I really doubt it. But enough of my uniqueness has gone away that I can't really tell what accounts for the differences. I suspect, however, that like most human endeavors, learning medicine produces its share of creeps and its quota of wonder-workers. .