427:536) Eric A. Hochman Date: 11-FEB-94 4:03 Tonight I want to talk about the YELLOW TRAIN. If you don't ride the subway late at night, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. After 11p.m. or so, they start running all kinds of weird work trains in the subway, and they're all painted yellow. There's something a little ominous and surreal about them; other than the one that carries dozens of trash dumpsters around, I've never been able to figure out what the stuff on them is used for. Yellow trains are bad. I've never been happy to see one. I was talking to Garbled Uplink on the way back from the last f2f, and when the subject came up, he said "I fucking hate those yellow trains!" so it's not just me. So I walk into the 72nd St. IRT station tonight, and about 40 people are waiting in line to buy tokens. I want to scream "DON'T YOU FUCKING PEOPLE EVER SLEEP?!?" but I'm too polite and didn't. I miss the downtown express while waiting in the line. Hi Janet, I hope you're still reading this 'cause someday you may be face-to-headlight with a yellow train and will need to know what to do. So I'm waiting for the express. Three locals go by. No express. Finally I see the light on the express track. Someone once asked in Culture why people lean out and look for the light on the tracks (like it makes the train show up faster?). I'll tell you why: I'm impatient and THERE ARE NO BREAKABLE OBJECTS ON THE 72ND ST. SUBWAY PLATFORM. I really wanted to rip a phone out of a wall or something, but there wasn't one. But you know what that light really was, don't you? Right, it was one of those fucking YELLOW TRAINS. I knew it was not going to be a good night then. About 5 minutes later, I see the light again. But you know what it was...ANOTHER FUCKING YELLOW TRAIN. A weird one, with something that looked like a crane on it. God only knows what they use it for. Finally, they announce that the express isn't running, so I get on a local. At 59th St. I got off to switch to the D train. Three things happen on the 59th St. platform: I realize that if I'd taken the D train to start out with, I'd be home already. I realize that I've just left one of my gloves on the local. One of the good gloves that I'd managed not to lose for 5 years. You'd never think gloves could have sentimental value, but this one did. Third, someone was standing on the platform, singing Gospel music off-key. I was about to walk up to him and say "Please stop that, or I'll have to kill you." when a D train arrived and I had to postpone my murderous thoughts. The D train ride was fun, in a way that only the D train can be. When I got home, the night doorman took 10 minutes to show up and open the door, and then said "Why aren't you wearing a hat? You're gonna get frostbite on yer face!" Haven't these people ever heard of Hat Hair ??? - - - - - 427:538 ) Josh the Karpf Date: 11-FEB-94 4:54 Joe Hill rides the YELLOW TRAINS with the little rounded windows. - - - - - .