Posts by theynege@beige.party
 (DIR) Post #AsDnnwsqmv1IyxSyRs by theynege@beige.party
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       Got a headache and decided to leave work for the day. It's the kind of headache I could fake it through, but I decided not to sacrifice myself when it's not necessary.I also think it's part of a multi-day low-key migraine, because I've been feeling some non-seizure auras and shaky vision on and off. The pain is not yet unbearable, but the assortment of symptoms is chaotic.
       
 (DIR) Post #AsDnnxDPYTT00j5OUq by theynege@beige.party
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       There is a distinct difference between "migraine" and "severe headache" and I wish more people grasped that.
       
 (DIR) Post #AsDnnxGxLIIoBikE1Q by theynege@beige.party
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       Hello, my account has now migrated so I'm going to do another #introduction, especially since I have many more important things I should be doing right now, which makes this an excellent time for such an activity!I'm Nege (they/them) and I was previously under the same username on strangeobject.space, so if you're confused why you're seeing this, you probably followed me there! The pfp might throw you off because I no longer have that glorious and entirely (not) real beard in this one. I know, I miss it too.My mind is in a constant state of satire, so I make a lot of jokes and shitposts. Sorry! (This was in my previous account's intro too. Does that make it plagiarism?)The basics:Elder millennial white settler living in Murky Waters on Treaty One land on Turtle Island, aka Winnipeg.Queer nonbinary aro ace living a fantastic single life with a dog at my side (or on my legs, or a few feet away from me getting intense with her toys to make a scene and distract me).AuDHD and other types of neurodivergent and/or disabled, but digging myself an early grave anyway because ~capitalism~.Urbanist and anti-car, for climate and human reasons. I am strongly in favour of walkable cities and have done my best to make my life work that way despite utter hostility in a car-centered environment. I have an alt account to post specific things (@walkipeg) but I will also complain on main about being surrounded by murder machines and the people willing to drive them.My midlife crisis thus far has brought me several tattoos and reignited creative pursuits of photography (film + digital), writing, drawing, and poetry, which I post on an old school style website (https://thisnege.xyz).Decades of social trauma has made it difficult for me to share "interests" as people tend to do for introductions, but I will at least open up to say you may see a lot of shitposting about Star Trek series or the Winnipeg Jets. Maybe both at once; my imagination can combine all sorts of things, to my benefit or detriment.
       
 (DIR) Post #AsDnnxbW6qkVDUMe4O by theynege@beige.party
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       Migraines interfere with perception more. They interfere with balance and temperature and internal neurological pressure and other senses that we (imo) don't grant the proper status.I have a hard time describing my neurological symptoms because so many other people don't understand it. If I call something a headache they think of a standard kind of pain. They think of something hurting. But there's so much more to it. There isn't the language to express it.One thing I have a hard time describing—fittingly, I suppose—is aphasia, and how I experience it before and after tonic clonic seizures but also absence seizures and auras as well. It's quite the experience to only feel language one way. During the after-seizure aphasia I can understand other people just fine, but producing words...they just don't come to me. They don't exist in that part of my head. I can't repeat after people. The most I can do is take a minute to trust myself to speak sounds that I vaguely suspect are a real word that means something. Or I can swear or say sorry, the kind of thing that is documented in scientific research. This can last 15-30 minutes after a seizure, as I slowly regain my sense of outgoing language and can gradually say complicated words. During pre-seizure aphasia/auras I try to sing complex lyrics to myself to keep my consciousness moving. It helps subdue the seizure or at least delays the collapse and convulsions until I get somewhere safe.This is all distinctly different from migraines. The physical properties of the matter in my head feels different. It's like how it feels different to have the suspicion you forgot something versus having the premonition that something is going to go wrong. Right now it feels like a plasmic substance, like a particularly graceful gas, is trying to escape through my cheekbones as my vision (and soul) trembles. (I am not high.) The pain is no longer sharp, but there is light pressure on the right side of my head. I could probably get up and move now if I wanted, but that could change quickly if I tried.These states of being just feel different. Headaches exist in almost everyone's perceptual reality. Straightforward pain is one thing. Migraines are far more complex. They are very distinct from epilepsy. I don't know if I'm making sense in explaining how that is.
       
 (DIR) Post #AyVQKNcn41ISpOuYbY by theynege@beige.party
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       I hardly worked today but it still feels like it should be the weekend already.
       
 (DIR) Post #B0v7KEFUE9Yv4g4srI by theynege@beige.party
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       @reb did you stretch?