Posts by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5L6dA9lCxYmNKC by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       i picked up eleonora's poleblade to try to force myself to play better and, like…1. it's good! it's real good!2. i like it. it *feels* good!3. sometimes i want that stance break so bad that i burn 3/4 of my health bar trying to land it, and that piles up so much damage the boss is just dead afterward anyway
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5MDl193UPx7a4W by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       i enjoying mysekf by the lake, but then i remembered instances of regret in my life, and pain i have caused others with my poleblade
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5NUoHEI2N86iI4 by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       togethaaaaaaa
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5Obw8DaJpWRv2O by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       ng+ means you can just mow down rennala's creepy little harry-potter children with the blade of albinauric genocide
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5PjPxtABJ0xPKy by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       [a single glowing child throws a book at me]that's it you little shits, i have the power of god in my pocket and i'm taking all of you down with me
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5Qp7u9K8h0dTsG by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       i activated margit's shackle to show leyendell surprise-margit who's boss, but he got stuck in a big hole so i couldn't actually hit him the whole time he was pinned down :( :( :(
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5RrI3aeHu0eisy by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       elden ring speedrun but only the part from when dung eater shows up to when you get rid of him by stabbing him to death in the sewers
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5Sva57fvDbffDE by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       feeling like a proud parent (my mimic tear bled me out in one quick attack combo)
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5U2LxQgcetqaPI by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       tried (upper rune level bracket) pvp and it's pretty fun overall, but i gotta admit i have a visceral hatred for bull-goats nowit's not even, like, a poise thing! i've had great fights with people wearing the veteran set, giant-thighs armor, &c.but every bull goat seems to piledrive you with spells as soon as they log in, spam bloodhound step, &c. &c.
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5V5a2urVvCMg4m by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       *in theory* a guy mix-and-matching prelate+gideon armor with a nightrider halberd and a guy rocking full bull goat with a cross-naginata are running the same sort of build, but the former feels fun and cool even when he kicks your ass, while the latter just has you doing a mental inventory of "okay what 'meta-breaker' weapon do i need to carry around as a backup to fight this guy next time"
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5WAE38AjFtXtxI by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       shoutout to erdtree avatars who look like they're gonna wind up for an elden-stars attack but instead clone themselves, thereby creating tons of contact area for a single spinny-jumpy L2 to take out 50% of their hit pointsgotta be one of my favorite genders
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5XFE21lWbgtPO4 by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       months ago i made a post that every guy in elden ring (besides thops) looks like he either smells like dog carcass or has a haunted peniswell, i went back to elden ring and now i can't stop labeling every guy i run into
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5YMLt13o45Ec8O by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       radahn: dog carcassgodrick: dog carcassmargitt: haunted penismohg in the sewer: dog carcassmohg lord of blood: haunted penisrykard: both dog carcass and haunted penisgold mask: definitely smells like an old sneaker, which is adjacent to dog carcasshewg: his metaphysical servitude is a haunted penisall the nomad merchant guys: the call of madness is akin to a haunted penis(?)godfrey, first elden lord: 100% canonical case of haunted penischieftain hoarah loux: dog carcass
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5ZS3pHDlS4ugfg by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       kinda between games right now, so i went back for moreFASHION SOULS
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5ac1Vimh3Ga9q4 by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5bhjRyweRGGENM by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       do not tell me to power stance the katanas, i will never power stance them
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5cmNSCFrlxRSFs by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       they got a whole nother erdtree under there
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5dvdBHFdKwmMJk by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       call me Tarnished Mario on account of how i'm gonna fix the plumbing in this waterlogged castle
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5ezvCoHGeXnIe0 by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       checking out the cool giant specimens in the specimen hallgiant yakgiant barnacle yakgiant… crucified jesus?
       
 (DIR) Post #ArFT5g4ZD1aTzEyWWW by saddestrobots@jorts.horse
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       leda: we're all from different walks of life, but the love of miquella brings us together[five minutes later]leda: i don't care much for hornsent