Posts by jonny@neuromatch.social
(DIR) Post #B1GB2wVHQkFZFfdVz6 by jonny@neuromatch.social
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ok what is so special about this one woman, why can't the hypnotist with all his mega riches find some other woman who likes being channeled into her sea creature past to murder everyone with #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB2xvY8YrDfQw0ZM by jonny@neuromatch.social
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it's an important methodological limitation that casting someone's immortal soul into a hemideity/cryptid requires the constant high partial pressure of water and spirits that can only be found near a haunted ocean #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB2zHZ6C3ts0F6WW by jonny@neuromatch.social
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fuck yeah baby blast the newsreel montage into my veins, this is how information propagates #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB30da3pGa4ZYCTg by jonny@neuromatch.social
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there are so many threads they are keeping in the air - the dog, the ocean, the steam, the academic rivalry... you can't just add a love triangle into the middle of all that #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB31oFhdOfhxYEka by jonny@neuromatch.social
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ancient sea monsters just hate seeing it when people make out!!!! #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB32xrPOg1I33QMi by jonny@neuromatch.social
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so listen i am expecting nothing less than the other hypnotist having figured out how to summon kaiju and for this to turn into a full on kaiju movie #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB346PB76coq3lK4 by jonny@neuromatch.social
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they did the love triangle entirely in subtext and now we are expected to care about the woman being in love with the other hypnotist. if elizabeth's soul was instead like intent on being free then maybe they could motivate the sea creature murders as being just a wild expression of a repressed soul, but making her just be in love with the other hypnotist is such a waste #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB35JueNVMb1O412 by jonny@neuromatch.social
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i can only recognize three men in this movie: the evil hypnotist by the oil in his hair, the good hypnotist by the bulge in his eyes, and the rich plutocrat by the tooth in his mustache. every other man is a total blur, and there are anywhere between 2 and 9 of them #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB36UwGrv2FVYNqC by jonny@neuromatch.social
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SHOWING UP ON THE BEACH TO SHOW DOWN WITH MY LOVER AND THIS DOG IN MY TOP HAT #MONSTERDON
(DIR) Post #B1GB37eBzwunoUtHu4 by jonny@neuromatch.social
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IS the dog the woman!?!? is she split between three life paths. beyond the madonna/whore complex, there is the sea hag/dog/passive love object triplex #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB38oVf4lJQmj2ci by jonny@neuromatch.social
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adding to the steam, dog, and ocean unexplained subplots, there is the "why are their eyes like that" subplot, with the woman's doll eyelashes and the good doctor's bulged eyes. #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB3A490QrXJZ32dE by jonny@neuromatch.social
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FUCK whoever did the rich guy's mustacheMARRY whoever did the sea monster's kelp hairKILL whoever did the woman's eye makeup#monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB3BJ4OQObA92TXE by jonny@neuromatch.social
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i'm barely aware of what's going on in this movie because it's almost 100% headcanon for me, so the last 7 minutes where they try and close up shop are going to be a wild ride #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB3CPqGjPIbRDOjI by jonny@neuromatch.social
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why would you make a whole movie premised on the fact that all women used to be murderous sea monsters and then do NOTHING WITH THAT #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB3Ddhig5cOihyyW by jonny@neuromatch.social
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moral of the story: don't cast women back into their primoridial sea monster form to kill your enemies and force them to fall in love with you, because they will turn against you and kill you instead so they can release their soul in the present from the life of torture you made them endure #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB3EqrDGCm9ns07E by jonny@neuromatch.social
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they made the bad hypnotist do this last scene with chocolate sauce all over his face #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB3G7uTLRK6yr8Km by jonny@neuromatch.social
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hafhuiafeuihlwfiuhlefhuirlghiuafh "there, fire, where i'm pointing at hurry up" holy fuck that is so good #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1GB3HTvQye0JYAEHw by jonny@neuromatch.social
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i can't fucking breath, i can't believe it, the question mark ending, that's the only ending any movie in #monsterdon can ever have from now on
(DIR) Post #B1GB3IZHOYWNgRg1Gy by jonny@neuromatch.social
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@Taweret i was bunted over into https://tubitv.com/movies/536459/the-beach-girls-and-the-monster-original-uncut-schlock-classic by autoplay and it is immediately clear that this needs to be entered into the voting queue #monsterdon
(DIR) Post #B1gXdSOY8adQ1WmL5M by jonny@neuromatch.social
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My cat has 100% subject mastery of the word "no" but seemingly does not know the word "yes." This is the knowledge asymmetry of someone who has never sought permission to do something in their entire life.