Letters from Nikolaevsk

Annitta

12-20-98 -- Felip and Anna

Hi from the moose infested village:

Well, the cow came back today and brought a dinner guest. If this keeps up, they will have to moo ahead and make mooservations for munching.

I fully expect to see them pushing a safeway cart and throwing in goodies. Just imagine...

"Ohhhhh...looook....Moose M, an unfrozen raspberry bush. Think I'll saunter over and take a nibble."

"Ah, little Jo, I'd be careful if'n i was you. Last winter Old jack came through and no one has ever seen him since."

"Now, what can hurt? A little nibble?"

"Look! What's that tiny white thing with yellow feet and yellow bill? think we can eat it?"

"Hawhawhawhaw! You sure make for a funny companion. I love comedy with dinner. That's a thing called a quacker."

"Well, i always wanted to try quackers with my salad."

Once a moose lets the raspberry bush out of the bag, then they will all arrive.

Felip, who has just built himself a two story house across the field from me, is very upset over the wildlife grazing in his back yard. He spent the entire summer building the dwelling, putting in bushes, plants, berries, garden spot and even has a compost pile. Ah yes, the Russian compost pile. The food bin that shouts to the heavens "come and eat me so there is nothing left to compose."

Well, the two moose cows waded through the snow banks and stepped into Felip's compost pile. Of course the zillion ravens and eagles hanging around like guys at a football game may have tipped them off. Felip is not a happy Russian camper.

He is unmarried. He has his own home. He shaves and his mother is of the Fish clan and is the wife of a Seriyev. He was marked from the minute he showed his clean chin to the world.

But, he has his own house, which caused a scandal, after all an unmarried man has NO opinion on ANYTHING. He is a mindless zombie and must do what his mother tells him. It is ONLY after marriage, does he learn to talk, walk and dress himself. The power of women.

Being a mindless one, the women figure he doesn't know how to keep a compost pile anyway. The moose and ravens and eagles never get in their compost. A mere male who does his own laundry... what is the world coming to? Next thing you know, single men will be allowed to vote in this country. But, this has not stopped moms of marriagable daughters above the age of twelve years to cast matchmaking eyes his way.

The first week after he moved in his house I was sitting at the computer on the second floor, which allows me a great bird's eye view of... ah, I mean, I just happen to see that Felip got invaded by moms bearing gifts all summer: piroshkas, baklaks, tiny delicate noodles filled with fragrant garlic veggies, steaming bowls of cabbage soup, stuffed and wonderful Kiosks with the smell of old Russia wafting upward and across the field. Handmade and formed with Hope for Marriage to Daughter, cinnamon rolls still hot and fragrant from the ovens. Heavy was the cloud of odors that hung over this tiny hill village. Drove tourists mad. And Fred watched his quackers all the more closer.

Felip accepted all that was bestowed upon him. The moms wait with abated breath. Not a word has drifted on the wind from Felip's house. Not a look at the daughters, no wink, no slow romantic squints, not even one tiny straggly facial hair sprouts. The territory is as smooth as a... well...

So, the women have regrouped. They figure that Felip is courtship challanged. They turn to the true power behind an unmarried male: his mother.

Anna, of the Fish clan, has enjoyed some of the best summer months and winter times she has ever had here. Acceptance, acceptance, and Anna plays it to the hilt. A born actress is Anna with her gypsy styled clothes and head dresses that go way down to there, and an English accent so heavy that no one can understand her...

She teaches Russian to the kids at the school, but it took the first school year for the kids to understand her in English. One poor kid thought he was learning a new Russian language and for three months he went around talking like Anna. She also holds night classes for adults willing to learn Russian. Sure, and I don't even know when she is saying my name.

So, like a princess of a Lenigrad fairytale, this woman holds Court. Anna knows a good thing when she sees it.

So, that is why Felip has so much fasting food to throw out into his compost pile that the animals have found and claimed. The moms send it to Anna, she selects the best portions and feeds her family, then passes it on to Felip. Anna then calls the moms and rates their dishes. The better cook the mom, the better cook the daughter.

It has been noted by others in the village that Anna's beautiful clothes are fitting a little more snugly these days, and the beginnings of a double chin are popping out of her neck scarf, and her husband is looking pretty good too. Anna has two more sons in Russia. They will be joining her next summer. I figure that by the time Anna gets all of her sons married off, she will either need a crane to get her out of her house, or the villagers will be showing her to the tourists.

Ooohhhh..... just been informed that Johnny (great Russian name), has just admitted to being the one who helped Jacob in the crime of goatacide. Photin's wonderful Billy that she bought for milking and having goats for HER freezer. Of course, it would have benefited Photini if she had ran her hand over the neither parts of the baa-baa. She had bought a fixed Billy.... she called him Nilly.

Better go.

bless to all this time of Nativity

annitta
from downtown moose nugget haven Nikoalevsk