Date: Wed, 16 Apr 1997 21:20:11 -0400 (EDT)
Message-Id: <199704170120.VAA19047@grace.carlow.edu>
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To: socgrad@csf.colorado.edu
From: "Elizabeth A. Larsen" <elarsen@erols.com>
Subject: Summary of Kids/PhD's
I've received some requests to share the responses I got for my question
about how to handle having kids and going for one's higher degrees.  Rather
than post private responses, I'll just briefly summarize what people told me.
And thanks to everyone who responded to me!

I received ten responses, four from men and six from women.  The general tone
was "it will be a difficult endeavor, but if you are determined and have a
supportive partner, you can definitely do it."  The responses differed in
some details.  For instance, one person suggested I stay home for the first
three years, then return to school, since the first three years are so
important in shaping a child's future. Another person felt it would be
better for me to start back to school now, rather than waiting until Fall '98,
because this would enable my baby to get used to my school routine.  If I
waited, it would be a shock to her to switch from being at home with me all
day to being in another day care arrangement.  Another person balanced her
life by returning to school, but slowly.  While her children were small, she
took a lighter courseload.  Another individual takes classes and works as a
TA from 9 to 5, working as hard and efficiently as possible during those
hours.  She then tries to spend as much as possible of the evenings with her
child.

In short, most people had generally positive feelings about mixing school and
family.  I was advised that the going would be easier if I had a good
financial situation, good daycare arrangements, a supportive partner and
family nearby, and could deal with occasionally shortchanging either my
schoolwork or my family.  One person wisely noted that although we have
many spheres to our lives, the spheres are really all interconnected and
are not separate at all, they just need to be integrated.

Thanks again to everyone who shared with me.
Elizabeth Larsen