Fri, 28 Oct 1994 06:46:35 -0700 for From: blovitts@nsf.gov To: socgrad@UCSD.EDU, Melissa R Herman Subject: Re: comic relief (fwd) Date: 28 Oct 94 08:57 EST Text item: Text Item Funny as the story is, I think that it is a contemporary myth much like the Neiman-Marcus chocholate cookie recipe story that graced the net last year. Someone read this correspondence at a conference I was at over a year ago and the hotel was somewhere in the United States. Barbara ______________________________ Reply Separator _________________________________ Subject: comic relief (fwd) Author: Melissa R Herman at NOTE Date: 10/28/94 2:33 AM Be patient, the funny part doesn't come until the end... > > Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a > London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel > involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. > ***************************************************************************** > * > * > > > Dear Maid, > Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my > bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove > the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest > and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank > you, > S. Berman > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Dear Room 635, > I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, > from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap > dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your > way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should > change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my > instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. > I hope this is satisfactory. > Kathy, Relief Maid > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid. > Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the > little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found > you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. > I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my > own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on > the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. > Please remove them. > S. Berman > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Dear Mr. Berman, > My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which > we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were > in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your > Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your > convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are > always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and > which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please > let me know if I can of further assistance. > Your regular maid, > Dotty > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > Dear Mr. Berman, > The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you > called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid > service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will > accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any > future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal > attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you. > Elaine Carmen > Housekeeper > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Dear Miss Carmen, > It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for > business at 745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM. That's the > reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. > I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little > bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a > new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my > medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the > bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little > bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me? > S. Berman > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Dear Mr. Berman, > Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your > room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, > please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you, > Elaine Carmen, > Housekeeper > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Dear Mr. Kensedder, > My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my > room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and > had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets. > S. Berman > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Dear Mr. Berman, > I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. > I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our > maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a > room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my > apologies for the inconvenience. > Martin L. Kensedder > Assistant Manager > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > Dear Mrs. Carmen, > Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last > night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars > of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize > I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. > Please give me back my bath-size Dial. > S. Berman > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Dear Mr. Berman, > You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. > Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing > so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken > and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't > know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, > Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 > Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea > this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some > bath-size Ivory which I left in your room. > Elaine Carmen > Housekeeper > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Dear Mrs. Carmen, > Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap > inventory. > > As of today I possess: > > - On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of > 4 and 1 stack of 2. > - On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 > stack of 3. > - On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 > stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. > - Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 > stack of 2. > - In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. > - On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. > - On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3. > > Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks > are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of > more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom > window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future > soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of > bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to > avoid further misunderstandings. > S. Berman > ============================================