________ \ / L R C C o m m u n i t y N e w s \ / \ / April 1993 part 2 of \/ Heaven and Earth Spirituality, Religion and other equally unrelated topics Contents Cover........................Loving the Goddess Particular Friends...........Lesbian ex-nuns talk about life the convent Features.....................Women Who Clog Too Much -Information-................LRC addresses disclaimer etc. Dear Subscriber..............Introduction ---------------------------------------------------------------- COVER ------- Loving The Goddess by Charmell McLoughlin For me, to love the Infinite Spirit in a female form was to begin the long road to the love and acceptance of myself as a powerful, beautiful woman. When I began to look into womenUs spirituality, I began to reclaim my heritage as a woman Q the heritage that was stolen from me when patriarchy took over religion, politics and culture and made women an oppressed people. Loving the Goddess, for me, means that my sex and my sexuality are precious gifts, rather than noxious sins. My sensuality is a wonderful and enjoyable part of being in a physical body, rather than a demon that will snare me for hell. As I have learned more and more about the Great Goddess, Who has a thousand names and aspects, I have begun to reclaim the creative, powerful, autonomous parts of myself that this culture seldom allows me as a woman. I have become a virgin in the God- dess sense of the word Q a woman who belongs to herself, and I may share myself with whomever I CHOOSE. It was at this time of discovery, after reading such books as: The Great Cosmic Mother, by Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, When God was a Woman and Ancient Mysteries of Womanhood, by Merlin Stone, The Holy Book of WomenUs Mysteries by Z. Budapest, and The WomenUs Spirituality Book by Diane Stein, that I decided I wanted to worship the Goddess with women only, but I couldnUt find a circle that was ongoing. My desire to worship the Goddess with women only prompted creation of the Sunday Goddess Worship Cir- cle. In the past four years, the Sunday Goddess Worship Circle has gone through a number of changes. It started in my living room, and then met at the Mandala Books & Gallery for two and a half years, and now meets at the LRC. Worship of the Goddess in a woman-only circle is my first goal. The empowerment of women is my second goal. My third goal is to generate a healing vehicle to honor the Goddess, women and the Earth. The circle is open; women may come and go without committing to constant attendance. "Open circle" doesn't mean that anything goes - there is a structure. We do both Wiccan and Native Ameri- can ceremonies which honor the Goddess in Her many aspects. The ritual structure remains constant: purification, casting a cir- cle, calling the directions, passing the rattle, discussion and/or creation of the ritual, enactment of the ritual, singing the names of the women, biding farewell to the directions, and opening the circle. In the past, we have done healing in the Sunday Circle, but re- cently the emphasis has shifted to worship on Sunday. A new Cir- cle is being created on Wednesday evenings to do healing work. We bring to the Wednesday Sharing Circle our everyday concerns and then create a spontaneous, put-together ritual to invoke the Goddess' energy, wisdom and guidance. On Sunday, we come together to honor the Goddess and talk about our spiritual life. I love the beauty of women's spirituality, for it is the beauty of women ourselves. We are not caught in an old static tradition, but create what we need anew for each situation and combination of energies. The creation of an altar of harmonious color, scent, tools and images of the Goddess awakens our senses, minds and hearts to Her Presence. We chant and dance. We celebrate. We use oils, herbs, food, drink, tools and masks to participate in Her mystery play. I anoint a sister with oil and a blessing, then she anoints and blesses the sister next to her, and the power and the blessing is passed around the circle. We, as women, are created in the image of the Goddess. As we each become more connected to our Goddess Self, we take back more of our power and the right to choose our own destiny. We find new ways to nurture and heal ourselves, and thus, we begin the jour- ney of honoring and healing the Earth. Blessed Be! ------- Particular Friends ------- Lesbian ex-nuns talk about life in the convent by Seanna Jordan I stood in the prescription line at the Drug Emporium; I glanced at my watch - I was due back at work in half an hour. Then I no- ticed a woman, clad in a dove-grey and white habit (complete with wimple), sitting on a flimsy plastic chair, waiting for her name to be called. A serene half-smile lifted her grandmotherly face. I hurried out of the store, but on the drive back to the office I remembered the nuns who surrounded me as I was growing up. During Vocation Day, Sister Evangelist told us that God had a special calling for each of us, that some of us would meet a man and bear him children, but some of us would be called to serve God. I felt her eyes single me out. At twelve I knew I was different. Perhaps it was spirituality that made me different. Whatever it was, I knew that I would not have a husband. I think that Sister Evangelist knew that too. The convent beckoned to women who knew they were somehow not cut out to be wives and mothers. For women not much older than my twenty-nine years, that pull was much stronger. "There weren't a lot of options in 1950," comments Faye, who en- tered a Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur convent when she was 19. "I didn't want to get married and do the regular things." The Roman Catholic Church offered women a respectable escape from their parents' household and allowed them to avoid having a hus- band and many children. "My mother and I didn't get along. By going to the convent, I got out of the house," offers Pat, who entered the Sisters of Notre Dame convent as an aspirant at age 15. But the Church provided more than escape; it presented opportuni- ty. "I knew I wanted an education," Faye says. "I knew part of it [wanting to be a nun] was that I could get an education that way. The Church was always a way for Irish Catholic working class peo- ple to get an education." Pat also saw opportunity. "One of the few ways that women acted proactively was in convents. Even though priests and the Pope de- cided things, women acted in the world," she explains. "They were independent and managed their own affairs." She expected that independence and assertiveness to extend to the aspirants. She was disappointed. "They expected loyalty and sub- missiveness." Faye concurs, "I couldnUt handle the regimentation and obedience. I was too rebellious, I guess." Besides an emphasis on obedience, the orders shared a pervasive silence. From showers in the morning until lights out at night, talking was permitted only during certain hours. "You could only talk for certain periods of the day," Faye re- calls. "They were very suspicious of anyone getting too close, of bonding." Women in the convent were discouraged from having a close friend- ship with a particular individual. A close friendship would in- terfere with community life. Jealousy or bitterness might develop and infringe upon the community. Yet, these "particular friend- ships," as they were called in the convent, seemed natural to many of the women. Ironically, some women joined the convent specifically to be with other women. Both Ann, who entered the Sisters of Notre Dame, and Sarah, who joined the Sisters of the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary, now realize that they were pulled to religious life because they wanted to live with women. "I was attracted to nuns in one way or another," Sarah remarks. An unstated sexual undertone exists in the phrase "particular friendship." And some convents had bylaws which prohibited these types of friendships, or delineated how these friends ought to behave with each other. The order Sarah wanted to join specified that particular friends shouldnUt be in a room together with the door closed and walks should be taken with two other people. "In training, we were cautioned about spending too much time with one person, or being off by yourself with one person, but nothing more graphic than that [was said]," Ann says. Yet for all the cautioning, particular friendships, whether cloaked in crushes or replete with physical intimacy, existed. Pat remembers all the aspirants having crushes on the novices. Ann, Pat and Sarah had "particular friends" while at the convent. Ann says of her friendship, "We held hands, we kissed once or twice, we gave each other backrubs." Pat verbally professed her love to another woman at the convent, then confided this revelation to a third sister. Shortly thereafter, she was asked to leave the convent. When Sarah began a relationship with another nun, vows of celiba- cy werenUt an option. "I thought I would be living a lie if I said I was celibate and then would turn around and make love to this woman," she insists. Sarah left the convent, but her friend remained about six months before joining her in the outside world. They lived together for a while, in a homosexual relationship, not calling their rela- tionship homosexual, but experiencing a great deal of guilt be- cause of it. "I didn't know any other homosexuals," explains Sarah. "It wasn't anything you talked about." Sexual activity did and does occur between members still in the religious community, according to women both in and out of the convent. Pat says, "YouUre not supposed to be sexual, but you can't cut that part of you out." The Roman Catholic Church once took a less rigid stance on homosexuality than it does currently. At one time the Church re- garded homosexuality itself as morally neutral, but homosexual acts as sinful. In the mid-1980s the Vatican took a harsher stance and withdrew support from Dignity, the organization for gay and lesbian Catholics. This condemnation of homosexuality exists within the ChurchUs limited view of sexuality itself, which officially supports only sexual activity within marriage for the purpose of conceiving a child. Women were assumed not even to be sexual beings, according to Pat. "I was never told not to masturbate," she says, though her brothers were. She didnUt know that it was possible for a woman to masturbate until she was in her twenties. Her sexual education consisted of a book emphasizing purity, hidden in her mother's chest of drawers. As Pat grew older, her sexuality blossomed and her spirituality, like that of the other women I spoke to, changed. Most of them decided they could be spiritual without belonging to a structured religious organization. Pat currently describes herself as "deeply religious. I am sar- castic toward people who try to put on spirituality like it was a coat that could be put on, rather than realizing that it comes from within. -------- Women Who Clog Too Much -------- by Terri L. Smith Forget what you may know about clogging (what do you mean, you donUt know anything about clogging?), because Women Who Clog Too Much have taken this traditional dance style and made it their own. Clogging was brought to this country from the British Isles (itUs a relative of reels and jigs), and found a home in Appalachia. In its earlier incarnations it was a free-form, improvisational dance performed in wooden shoes, but has evolved into a high- precision style performed in leather-soled tap shoes. It has, however, retained its emphasis on rhythm, its energy and enthusiasm, and its accessible, folk feeling. Women Who Clog Too Much spun off from the Cascade Cloggers about a year ago, and in that time have built a substantial following. They are invited to perform at events all over the Puget Sound area and, after sending a video to the March on Washington com- mittee, received word that the MOW "had to have them." And so, they will be clogging at the Main Stage of the rally on April 25. But then, they knew all along the March had to have them. As troupe member Ginny Clein says, "This is a bunch of very motivat- ed women who aren't shy and who donUt just settle." They became inspired to pursue a slot at the MOW last September when they performed at the West Coast WomenUs Music Festival and drew large audiences at the day stage. The dancing is high-spirited and boisterous, and so is the group. But they are also dedicated to their clogging. The twice-weekly rehearsals run a few hours each and are complemented by a busy performance schedule. They perform original numbers that the group themselves have choreographed and currently have a dozen routines in their repertoire. While many of the dances use country music, Women Who Clog Too Much don't limit themselves to that musical genre. Their "BAD" routine is performed, yes, to the Michael Jackson song of the same name. Director Debi Belt notes that "Rehearsing "Bad" is ridiculous; they never stay in character. But once they get those costumes on - it changes them." The 'King of Pop' himself would likely approve of the impressive steps and the women manage to be plenty baaaad without a single crotch grab. Most of the group's members are fairly new to clogging and became involved after seeing the mixed-gender Cascade Cloggers perform. Beginner classes are held every September, and the number of talented women at those classes in 1991 convinced Debi (who was then dancing with the Cascade Cloggers) that it would be possible to form an all-women clogging group. Clogger Laura Hawks says, "I saw all these really cute girls who could clog, and it looked like a lot of fun." Now that she her- self has been clogging awhile she notes, "It's a style of dance you can always get better at. I like that about it." Besides a shared passion for clogging, open and honest communica- tion (and "strict rules about not getting involved with each oth- erUs girlfriends") has helped hold the group together and create a cohesive, supportive environment. Not a single member has dropped out. As the group has blossomed, they have gotten "fabulous support from the lesbian community," Laura says. And their dancing allows them to give back to the community through benefits. Over the past year there have been pivotal moments, like the West Coast WomenUs Music Festival, when the group moved to a new level of professionalism. They seem on the brink of another one; their growing success has resulted in the recent taping of a profes- sionally produced video and the enlistment of a P.R. person. And after April 25, their burgeoning fan club just may have to go na- tional. ----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- -Information- ------- Editor Terri L. Smith Ad Manager Mindy Schaberg Columnists Pat Carl Lin S.Goodman Lee Lynch Contributors Seanna Jordan Charmell McLaughlin Proofreader Melissa Mather Distribution Joanie Scott Hardcopy Email tomh@halcyon.com Queries Lrccn 1208 E. Pine Seattle, WA 98122 206-322-3953 Copyright 1993 Lesbian Resource Center, publishers of LRC Commun- ity News. All rights revert to individual authors upon publica- tion. To reprint material please contact the editor and include attribution. Opinions express herin are those of the writers and artists, and may bot reflect the opinions of the LRC staff and Board. LRCCN will print differing views in the interests of com- munication and dialogue. 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Display ad space must be reserved and classified ads submitted by the 15th or the month. Thanks for reading. Please support advertisers who support LRCCN. And please recycle these electronic bytes. Design and production performed on the MACIIci made possible through the generous help of the Philip W. Blumstein-Gerry E. Jordan Trust. ------- Electronic distribution ------- LRC Community News is distributed by GLU, Gay Lesbian University of Seattle. For information regarding the articles contained in the LRC publication contact the LRC at the address provided. For distribution questions contact by Email tomh@halcyon.com ----------------------------------------------------------------- Dear subscriber, I have been a long time admirer of the Internet and the power that it has to offer our people. I have hope that we can seize this magnificant technology and use it in many, many, many, creative ways to benifit all people. I am over joyed to be able to bring the LRC Community News to you. I have dreamed of being able to bring quality LGBT publica- tions online. Straight press from the NY Times on down are available electronicaly. We deserve the same, we deserve the best. *** PLEASE *** Let people know about the LRC Electronic News. I do not have ac- cess to the womens networks. Please, pass the subscription in- formation on to others. It will only work if you allow others to hear about this online production. Delivery LRC has contributed 3 months of articles. You will receive LRCs 1-2 a week for awhile to catch up the back issues. Then delivery will be about 1-3 times a month. Availablility LRC can be accessed after delivery via FTP at: Halcyon.com pub/GLU/LRC * * * * * * * Last and by no means least. My hat is off to the LRC. Terri Smith and others at the LRC obiviously have vision and can see that the future is here today. Getting online is a great step forward for the LRC and all people everywhere. This is a first!! * * * * * * * Thanks Tom tomh@halcyon.com