COLLECTED POEMS: LOST LOVE [Rating: Mature Adults] GOODBYE Goodbye can be said In so many ways, From the heart and soul, Gentle, never cold. Goodbye is a permanent sound, Like that of a dying sun, Burning down into a shadowy ground. Leaving is a step toward the dark, Parting, a sad sob below the stars. Goodbye is the end, As final as the black descent Into emptiness. *********************************************************** WINTER The wind was blowing, Blowing all around, And dry leaves were falling, Falling on the ground. You were walking, Walking far, far away From my open arms. The wind was gusting, Swirling across the land, Bringing colder weather, A promised deep freeze. You were saying, Saying so patiently, You couldn't stay, You had, just had to go away. The wind swept over me; I shivered, all alone -- Frozen like winter snow. ********************************************************* BLUE MOOD The soft fog in my mind Wraps warmly like wine, Flying high, flying low, Thoughts of you Possess my soul. Where oh where Are you, my love? Free to be -- A pauper, a king, Grandstanding -- Or lying so low Like my spiritual cold? Please let go -- I can't sing the note Of sadness and sorrow Beyond tomorrow. Please -- End the blue mood Smothering my heart, So deep, lost in deadness. Let go -- I beg, I plead, Blue mood, Be gone! ***************************************************** BROKEN DREAM When starry sights light The night skies, When sunshine streams Into daylight dreams, When rising noontides Come ashore in a roar, When a field of daisies Beckon from a misty valley, When your blue eyes Look into a bleeding sunset, Do you remember me And what could have been? When I see a full moon Cast deep shadowlines Through naked treelimbs, My cries are sharp with pain, Like hearing fragile glass break, And it shatters my soul Reminding me of you And our broken dream. ********************************************************* EVER THINK OF ME? Do you ever think of me -- On a rain-drenched day, When yesterday's moon-eyed dreams Are buried beneath silent screams? Do you ever think of me -- And how we touched bright love-stars, Felt fair skies in universal mysteries, Wished on a slippery tear-stain, And took the path of least resistance? Do you ever think of me? Or am I lost To that poignant pain Of the past? ******************************************************* LOSS Nights of black despair, Alone, thoughts of you Ink-stained on pages -- My heart bleeding In black-and-white For one who Could never be mine. Poems written of sadness, Teardrops on blank pages. Between lines, your face Haunts like a ghost From the past. Days of glaring emptiness, Remembering how our love Caught me in a grasp Of helplessness: A love that was Never meant to be: You and me. ******************************************************* HEARTACHE Your anguished face is Carved upon a timeless landscape, Like millions of stars in space, Etched forever in my heart, Never to be erased -- I know. So why this ache That begs for your touch, Like cosmic creation Crying to be born? ************************************************************ WITHERED WITH TIME What was your name? My memory fades Like a pale flower Grown dim without sun Or rain. Withered as a wilted rose, I ask, What was your name? ************************************************************* BACKWARD MIRROR I see clear memory In the backward mirror Of my mind -- But I do not cry, Only sigh. A long way now From that melancholy Of our tearful history. I am stronger, yes, But somehow lost Without us. *********************************************************** FOR ALL TIME All the others, Faceless, nameless, Before and after You. They were pale shadows, Blank white pages, Empty flower vases, Petals scattered and lost, Before and after You. Only your sharp features, Your crystal blue eyes, Your lanky frame, your husky voice, Are vivid and real forever In my memory: You. Those other would-be lovers, Delirious creatures doomed by fate; They were too early or too late, And fade into forgotten dreams. All the others exit, But my love You remain For all time. ****************************************************** SOMEWHERE Somewhere you sail Through life in a frail Boat of dreams -- A sad, sad realm Fueled by addictive, Drug-induced madness. I know you hide Behind a disguise -- Those injected lies Smoothly roll off your lips, And enhance your appeal. But oh my lost love, When I awoke To the truth -- I fell to earth In a crush of distrust, And I knew you As a dream demon, Spinning yarns Through those distant Times of nothingness. Oh my darling, You live in a land severly Restricted by chemical dependence. But I still miss Your magnetic charisma, For it kept me above Mundane reality. **************************************************** OLD LOVER Although I was young, And you were older -- I still grew To be closer to you Than a heartbeat. Don't you see Wherever you live, I am in you yet? Oh, the years Grow longer, And still the tears For you Are more dear Than what is here. Please, my old lover, Remember me sometimes: Just for a second, Just for a moment... Till death do us part. ************************************************ BLUE EYES Blue eyes, blue eyes, How I cry For you! All these tears, All these years! Oh blue eyes How I cry For you! The sadness In those blue eyes Hurts me deeply still! Oh blue eyes I still yearn For you... And wish you were near Even after all these years! ******************************************************** LONELY The first thought When I awoke Was often of you. I knew you were Somewhere -- God knows you Live in my soul! Oh! I'm still so lonely, Only for you. ********************************************************** TRUE HEARTS There were days I never knew If you Were dead or alive. But you know I always thought of you. In deep, quiet midnight, Or frosty morning light -- I stared out windows, And I still wanted you. Oh, don't you know Wherever you are I am there too: True hearts never part. ********************************************************* ENDLESS MEMORY All you were to me Has gone into a lost dream. All you gave of love Has disappeared into a fog. All those spiritual ecstasies You promised were true Are now dying in a cold tomb. Years of emptiness after you Claimed my life And laid waste to my soul. All you promised, All you meant to do, It never came true. But all the same, I still can't help loving you Somewhere in my endless memory. ********************************************************* LOST LOVE As I stare into sunspun shadows, My heart tries to deny the memory -- For so, so long I've been alone, And all I've done to forget you, Has not erased your presence. Lost love sounds hopeless, But in my sunspun world Of happy-colored daydreams I can see we never part -- Someplace you yet live and love, But here in my heart You never leave, And I hold you close dear In my sunspun home of dreams. ******************************************************* Filed Jan. 1st, 1997