ISSUE 5 - RELEASED 14/08/1998 Updated: Sat 22 Aug 1998 --------------------------------------------------------------------- S E N I O R * C I T I Z E N ! ! ! --------------------------------------------------------------------- http://seniordads.home.ml.org/features/citizen SENIOR CITIZEN is a flippin' good read of other people's flippin' good read!!! Peruse the wierd and wacky each week thru the miracle that is the megamighty super-information edutainment multimedia ultra-highway Webby thingy!!!!! Any interesting stories, feedback, suggestions?? Mail us!! at senior@forfree.net!!! Subscribe via email!!! Go to our website and register, or mail us! The soundtrack for this issue is available at: http://seniordads.home.ml.org/features/citizen/music/5.mid ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ISSUE 5 (14/08/1998) "Sony Handycam allows you to see through clothes!!!!" Written by: Old Fart!!! of the SD!!! Contributors: Colostomy Bag!! of the SD!!!, Felice!!! of Maggie!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Well, readers on email might notice the difference!!! It's now readable!!!! Yep, sorry for all that "two massive columns running into each other" type formatting on the last edition- I just took the HTML version I stick on the webpage and saved it as text file!!!! In fact, I had to alter the flippin' HTML page as for some reason it could save as text because of all the funny complex tables and formatting. In fact, the HTML versh might need a bit of 'WebLint', as there appears to be one or two odd errors that crop up, most notably the amazing propensity for the lovely GM theme by Mozart to crash Netscape if being reloaded from the cache!!! Anyway, I've made a nice clean template especially for email readers, so whenever I set the "issue compilation" rolling, it makes up a nice text version which manages not to wraparound like a mad wraparound thingy!!!! Next I'll probably try fixing the HTML stuffs... BTW I haven't heard any noises yet about the possible name change to "Senior Netzien"!!! Is anyone particularly opposed to it?!?! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ == Teensy proggies!!! == You want small proggies!?!? Well, this lot will give it you!! The Hughi small proggy compy (Aren't the first 2 words contradictory?!?!) is a compy to make a pong game as small as possible!!! Hmmm, sounds a bit like those 128 byte demos we had in the Atari scene at the beginning of this year, doesn't it?!?!? In fact, one of them was a pong game!!!!! Well, the PC dudes haven't got down to 128 bytes yet!!!! So, all you Atari people, go and show 'em!!! http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Bay/6062/compo.htm If you have an Atari Falcon, get No-Crew's 128 byte Pong Game here: ftp://ftp.nocrew.org/pub/nocrew/demos/128bytes/pong.lzh Oh yea!!! Reservoir Gods also did a 128 byte versh of Tron for the Falcon!!! http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/pinkpage/files/intro128/hongtron.zip And don't forget our 128 byte Falcon demo, DadPlazz!!! http://seniordads.home.ml.org/demos/dadplazz.html == ISS X-Force bust Cows 'orifice'!!!! == Well, that was quick!!!! No point in downloading "Back Orifice" (See issue 4...) now, as ISS X-Force have worked out how to detect it and stop it!!! http://www.iss.net/xforce/alerts/advise5.html Or have they? Cult of the Dead Cow, the really "groovily" named dudes behind the Back Orifice program have now released a Unix version, complete with the usual full sourcecode!!! Hmm, I wonder if we're now going to get customised versions appearing all over the place?!?!? http://www.cultdeadcow.com/tools/ == Careless email costs lives!!! (Almost!!!) == As we mentioned before (See issue 4...) , sometimes some people don't quite see the funny side of email exchanges where people threaten violent death in a jovial friendly sense!!!!! The latest apparent victim of this is a bloke living in Estonia called Martin Symons, who made some joke about someone being killed!!! Unfortunately the Estonian authorities didn't really see the funny side of it!!!! http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_146000/146432.stm == Your body emits light!!! == Of a very low intensity though!!! Dr Gerard Hyland of Warwick uni has found that your body's electromagnetic field might give off the odd photon, and this isn't actually a random thing, it's actually part of your bodys natural functions!!! This might open a can worms, as this means that things which give off low electromagnetic fields (eg the microwaves from mobile phones and microwave ovens!!) might be actually interfering directly with your body's electromagnetic field!!!! http://www.warwick.ac.uk/news/pr/97 == Email addresses to increase by 220 million!!!! == Remember in Uni when you got a student email addr that was made up from your name and matric no and it was completely unreadable and really hard to remember?!?!? Well, that's what President Clinton wants to do to the whole US!!!! He's just approved a plan to give every US citizen an email addr!!! http://www.cnn.com/TECH/computing/9808/07/postal.idg/ == We get on telly!!!!! == Yes!!!!! Well, according to a bloke called "Felice" who's involved with the Atari diskmag Maggie. I was on IRC on Sunday night (9/8/98) and here's how the conversation went... BEGIN TEXT ==================================================== oldfart: did u watch anything of VH-1 at all today ? feL: Nope- anything interesting?!?! oldfart: yep, they visited the Senior Dads website and showed off the Air-Dirt demo ;) fel: !!!!!! What!!!!!! oldfart: at about 2.30 pm, they did a 'random' search of the web and came up with your site ;) Fel: Woo!!! Got a video of it?!??! oldfart: unfortunately not - if I had seen it here I would have taped it for you. I was over at a barbecue at that time today ;( * OldFart looks for VH-1 webpages.... END TEXT ======================================================= Well, I've emailed VH-1 to check.... And so far have had no reply!!! (If anyone has a tape of VH-1 on Sun Aug 8 between 1400-1500 - I think it might have been the "Clare Grogan Show" - could you please mail us at mailto://senior@forfree.at !!!) Meanwhile, if you have an Atari Falcon, you have a look at the Airdirt demo, as shown on VH-1!!! http://seniordads.home.ml.org/demos/airdirt.html == How does a wearable work?!?!? == Believe it or not, they're actually working on it as we speak!!! Sulawesi is an OS for wearables, and from what of it that I do understand, they're doing stuff like adding in speech recognition!!! Oh yeah, it's using Java as well... Erm, that's all I can understand from the page!! http://wearables.essex.ac.uk/sulawesi/ == Wiring off Wired?!?! == Take a look at this site: http://www.newmedia.com/ Look familiar?!?!? How about looking here: http://www.hotwired.com/ Hmmm!!!!!! Similar topics, similar writing style- just a bit more business-orientated!! == Get a Muddy for your Webby Sitey!!! == Have you got a website that looks really crap?!?!?! Why not get it entered for a "Muddy"!?!?! This is apparently some of sort award thingy for really crappy websites!!! Apparently if you win you actually get an award presented to you at some ceremony in San Fransisco in the autumn!!! So get cracking everybody, and look for really crappy websites in places far away from the West coast of the US, like Poland or New Zealand or somewhere!!! (Hee hee!!!!) http://www.netstudio.com/muddies/ == Home Alone 3- on DVD!!! == Well, looks like DVD is probably going to take off after all!!!! And the best sign is the announcement from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment that they're going to release some titles on DVD!!! But the dead giveaway is the absolutely dire choice of titles- just like the early days of home video!!! Check this out: Porky's, Predator, Jingle All The Way, Marked For Death, Home Alone 3, and Hope Floats!!! The only decent titles in the whole bunch are The Abyss and Young Frankenstien!!! I suppose we'll just have to brave cheapo straight-to-DVD crap with the odd occasional gem for a few more years just like we did with videos!!! http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/980810/ca_20th_ce_1.html == Tama-fishy!!! == Virtual aquariums!!!!! That's the latest craze in US software apparently and Mindscape's Aquazone Deluxe is the piece of software we've got to blame!! The link below is to an article about some kid who's apparently as obsessed with her virtual aquarium as some people have been ossesed with their Tamagotchis!! (Or is that "Tamagotchix"?!? Or "Tamagotchii"!??! Or... Ah, who cares!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) http://www.ohio.com/bj/business/netrider/docs/001525.htm == 'Ben the Boffin' clone invents new encryption!!!! == Some little schoolkid boffin person cliche has done a 2048 bit encryption!!! His name's Peter Parkinson!!! Well, there you go!!! If you want to get into the news, just wear a pair of glasses, and do a 4096 bit encryption prog!!!! http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_145000/145179.stm Oh damn!!! Somone's already done a 4096 bit encryption prog!!! OK then, go for 8192 bits!!! http://www.jawstech.com Oh no, apparently someone's done 16384!!! Oh well, why not try 16383?!?! I'm pretty sure no-one will think of that!!!! Actually, the dudes on Slashdot think this "I've got more bits that you have!!!" stuff is all bogus anyway!!! http://slashdot.org/articles/980811/0857212.shtml Hmmm... Maybe they have a point- I mean, what about the "one-time pad" encryption?!??! (See issue 4...) == Lots of procesa power!!! == Talking of "2 to the power of n" type numbers, this machine from SGI has got 2048 procesors in it!!! They says somethign about a "25% increase in bandwidth", but I would have thought that it would have been 32% because 32 = 2 to the power of 5 !!!! http://www.computerworld.com/home/news.nsf/all/9808123cray == It's too darn hot!!!! == Well, it's news to me!!!! Apparently last month (July) was the hottest ever the world over since records began!!! Not in Scotland it wasn't!!!! But then that might be because the increased global temperatures are starting to melt more ice at the poles, and are contributing to a move in the Gulf Stream, which usually brings all the mild weather to Britain, and thus global warning might make for colder weather in the UK!!! Or so said some TV prog I saw recently... http://www.mercurycenter.com/breaking/docs/086327.htm == Toys in a not-final-version!??!!? == They've already started on toys for the next Star Wars film!!! But look the bottom of the ad... It's not the final version!!!! Yes!!! They're toys from the original designs, and not the final designs used in the actual film!!!! http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/display.cgi?id=1834&next=1 == Well, at least it's not the millenium bug!!! == When Prove It 2000, a piece of software used to check other software for the millenium bug, was run on Windows 98, it said that 98 might suffer from a millenium prob!!!! Then the makers of Prove It 2000 checked more carefully, and found it didn't suffer from the end-of-millenium bug!!!! It suffered from an end-of-every-year bug!!! Apparently Windows 98 leaps two days forward or one day back when the clock ticks past midnight on Hogmany (or New Year's Eve for non-Scottish readers!!!), for every year they tested!!!!! http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_148000/148556.stm == Who's got your name?!?!?! == When you're wanting to register a domain name, what if someone's already used it?!!? You might find yourself getting sued by someone on the other side of the world because you're using one of their trademarks!!! So some company has decided to make money off you by making sure that this doesn't happen!!!! You can search for the domain name you want and see if you clashes with any trademarks!!! So far, no-one's taken seniordads.* !!! (Don't get any ideas tho!!!!!) http://www.namestake.com/ == Hasbro buy Microprose!!! == First, Hasbro bought Atari, a company that made a computer called the Falcon... Now they've bought Microprose, a software company that made a game called Falcon!!! Seeing as they appear to really like Falcons, I wonder if they'll try to buy Scotland next?!?! There's a lot of Falcons there you know!!!!!!!!! http://www.wired.com/news/news/business/story/14382.html == Just don't send the film to the chemist!!!!!! == Sony thought they were onto a winner when they did a camera that could shoot in night-vision!!! Unfortunely when this "feature" is used in daylight, the "night-vision" works out a bit more like Superman's X-ray vision- on people that is!! So an average shot of a nice family day in the park shot through this camera will end up looking like a rather blurry old pic of a nudist colony!!!! For some extraordinary reason, Sony have recalled this wonder of modern technology!!! Shame on them I say- not that I'm a peeping tom or anything... http://www.wired.com/news/news/technology/story/14379.html == It's Alive!!!!! == Some people have said that the Senior Dads are a horrible joke that took on a life of it's own!!!! Well, that's a load of nonsense, and just to show people, I direct them to this lovely site, which is by some company that really does make computer stuff that takes on a life of it's own!!! http://www.cyberlife.co.uk/ == Technology- with tiny balls!!!! == Oooh-er missus!!!! Look at the size of these people's balls!!! Oh crickey Vicar!!! Erm, well, anyway, it's this company called Ball (!!!) Semiconductor, who have decided to take their name literally, and are actually putting a load of semi-conductors on a ball- a 1 millimetre ball!!!!!! Apparently this is breaking some record or something. http://www.ballsemi.com/ICRELEASE.HTML == Drive on up- literally!!!! == Remember Orville singing "I wish I could fly, way up to the sky, but I can't!!!". Well, even if that daft bird can't get over his confidence problem (And who can blame him- after all he's got green feathers!!!!!), he can still wish that he could fly, way up to the sky, and he CAN!!!!- with the help of the "first and only feasible, personally affordable, personal vertical takeoff and landing (VTOL) vehicle the world has ever seen"!!!! Yes, Moller International (Don't they do those funny yoghurt and rice thingies with little bits of jam in them?!?!) have come up with this thingy called the M400, which is apparently better than cars and stuff!! "No matter how you look at it the automobile is only an interim step on our evolutionary path to independence from gravity." they say!!! I think the driving test for this vehicle would be a bit harder tho!!!!!!!! http://www.moller.com/skycar.htm == Scotland the Raw website goes walkies!!!! == Both of them!!!! Just before our review of the debut issue hit tha web!!! (See issue 4...) The http://www.scotlandtheraw.com/ domain name suddenly disappeared and the page on the Gamerush site giving a contact for subscription to the ezine likewise went el disappearo!!! Surely our review wasn't that bad!!! We've emailed them to find out what the four fruit marmalade is going on... Any news, you'll read it here!!! Well, not here literally, but in some future issue... (Possibly!!) == Killing yourself is really fashionable!!!!! == Yes, this is the latest fashion thing in the US!!! Well, Spin magazine (US equiv of The Face!!) said so, it must be true!!!!! They've done a fashion spread featuring a made-up suicide setting!!!! One guy who wrote a serious article about suicides for the previous month's issue wasn't too pleased!!! http://www.nypostonline.com/business/4628.htm == Army on the streets by 2000?!?! == Well, that's what's being seriously discussed in the US!!! The head of the Year 2000 Prob committee has been floating ideas like martial law if society breaks down, and *conscription* of programmers to fix Y2K probs!!!!! Oddly enough, this same guy is seeking re-election this year and needs a bit of publicity... http://cgi.pathfinder.com/netly/0,2326,201980813-14396,00.html == Is this where 'Magneton Pulses' come from in Star Trek?!?! == Magenetars!!! Sounds like something that you would get in the Transformers cartoon!!!! But it isn't!!!!! It's a dead start with a really really powerful magnetic field!!!!! Apparently a magnetar has a crusty top as well!! And it occasionally breaks about in a rather big earthquake!!!! Just as well San Fransisco isn't on a magnetar, or it would have had a slighlty less mild earthquake this week!!! http://wwww.magnetars.com/ (Stars so spiffy, they've even got their own commerical domain name!!!!!) == We get a nice write-up in Maggie 26! == Well, I think it's a nice write-up, but I'm not entirely sure because their review of Monomental uses a lot of big words!!! Get issue 26 of the diskmag anyway, because it's really very good!!! It works on Atari computers, but you can also run the ST edition on a PC under the Pacifist emulator!!! Here's a nice little review of it on Network, which contains a link to donwloads of the issue: http://scene-central.com/magreviews/atari/show.html?id_magreview=42 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ THE END!!!!! ... For now!!! This text and stuff is (c) 1998 HOUSE OF SENIOR DADS ,