From: jkc <e0075774@cc.ysu.edu>
Message-ID: <199604111345.JAA24334@unix1.cc.ysu.edu>
Subject: Humour? :-) (fwd)
To: rita@etext.org
Date: Thu, 11 Apr 1996 09:45:23 -0400 (EDT)
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Status: RO

The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records
nationwide:

 1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

 2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most
    cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it
    until the next morning?

 3. Q: What happened then?
    A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
    Q: Did he kill you?

 4. Was it you or your younger brother that was killed in the war?

 5. The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?

 6. Were you alone or by yourself?

 7. How long have you been a French Canadian?

 8. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

 9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
    A: That's me.
    Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

 10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

 11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
     A: By death.
     Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

 12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
     A: I'll be three months on November 8.
     Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
     A: Yes.
     Q: What were you doing at that time?

 13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
     A: I used to be.
     Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
     A: Four times.

 14. So you were gone until you returned?

 15. Q: She had three children, right?
     A: Yes.
     Q: How many were boys?
     A: None.
     Q: Were there any girls?

 16. You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like,
     but can you describe it?

 17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
     A: Yes.
     Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

 18. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
     A: Not yet.

 19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid
     question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to
     strike the next question."

 20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of
        Mr. Edinton at the Rose Chapel?
     A: It was in the evening.  The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
     Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
     A: No, you stupid ****, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
        doing an autopsy.

:-)

----- End of forwarded message from Richard Ritari -----