ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð ÛÛÛ Û ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ÕÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͸ Û Û Û Û Û ³A 'zine that explores everything that's wrong.³ ÛÛ Û Û Û ³This includes: Earth, America, labels, stupid ³ Û Û Û Û Û ³people, illiteracy, incompitance, mainstream, ³ Û Û Û ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ ³ignorance, religion,annoying people,education,³ Y O U R S E L F ³and whatever else we can think of that's wrong³ #14 ÔÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ; November 1995 ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð ISSUES/PROBLEMS... ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ -A D.I.Y. PROJECT. THE ONLY WAY TO DO STUFF.- ÝALERT: Call Congress to Þ ÝEnd Net Censorship, Þ -KILL YOURSELF IS ABSOLUTELY, DOUBTLESSLY FREE- ÝFrench Students and Þ ÝWorkers Protest and Þ -FUCK (C) AND ANY OTHER FORM OF TRADEMARKING - ÝSexism A Threat Again! Þ ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð SHORT STORIES/POETRY... Quote Of The Week... ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ McCROSKEY'S CORNER ÝThings Only Get Tougher,Þ ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ "remember: extinction ÝRBS, Selections from Þ Ý"How To Spot A Redneck" Þ is renovation. maybe ÝRobert W. Howington and Þ ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß the only solution." ÝInterventionist IdealismÞ ÝComes Forth Þ -- THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK -- ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð Please excuse the lateness of the release of this issue. It's hard to find good help these days. I should start doing deadlines or some shit. But the laziness, procrastination and apathy is so hard to escape. But, I'm pretty sure this is the biggest (byte size wise) issue we've put out thus far, so open your mind and enjoy... ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð I RECOMMEND HIGHLY THAT YOU REQUEST, OR BETTER YET VIEW THIS ISSUE OF KILL YOURSELF ON IT'S WEBSITE, IN THE HTML VERSION DUE TO IT'S ATTRACTIVE NEW APPEARANCE AND ALL OF THE LINKS PROVIDED IN IT. ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>http://hops.cs.jhu.edu/~mbk/killyourself.html<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð ISSUES/PROBLEMS... ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³The following entry by: vtw@vtw.org ³ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ ³PROBLEM 5567 of 6001 ³ ALERT: Congress Attempt at Net Censor ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ CAMPAIGN TO STOP THE NET CENSORSHIP LEGISLATION IN CONGRESS (INCLUDING THE COMMUNICATIONS DECENCY ACT AND THE MGRS AMDT) Short Update: Negotiations continue; we're still in danger. What You Can Do Now: Call Telecomm conferees at their home offices over Thanksgiving recess! CAMPAIGN TO STOP THE UNCONSTITUTIONAL NET CENSORSHIP LEGISLATION Nov 20, 1995 PLEASE WIDELY REDISTRIBUTE THIS DOCUMENT WITH THIS BANNER INTACT REDISTRIBUTE ONLY UNTIL December 1, 1995 REPRODUCE THIS ALERT ONLY IN RELEVANT FORUMS ________________________________________________________________________ CONTENTS The Latest News What You Can Do Now Legislative History List of Participating Organizations ________________________________________________________________________ THE LATEST NEWS Calls are coming into the offices of Gingrich and Dole at a good clip. However we believe the conferees are now debating the fate of the net. As the Conference Committee goes home for Thanksgiving recess, we need to keep the pressure on. Call Congress now and tell them that parental empowerment not government censorship is the only effective means to addressing childrens' access to objectionable content on the Internet. Don't wait. The stakes here are too high. Please look below at the list of legislators and call the home offices of the legislators in your state. Please do not call legislators at home. Please do not send email to them (it will not be effective). ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³SOLUTION 5567 of 6001 ³ ALERT: Congress Attempt at Net Censor ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW 1. Most of the proposals available to the conference committee will fundamentally restrict your speech on the Internet and other public networks. Look at the list below and call the legislators in your state and ask them not to censor the net. If none of them are in your state, call Gingrich and Dole at their home offices. If we cannot convince the conference committee to make the right choices at this juncture, we will have lost this campaign. To see which legislator is yours, consult the free ZIPPER service that matches Zip Codes to Congressional districts with about 85% accuracy at: URL:http://www.stardot.com/~lukeseem/zip.html Or simply look at the list below organized by states. Home Office Name, Address, and Party Phone ======================== ============== Arkansas Rep. B. Lambert-Lincoln (D-AR) 501-972-4600 Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK) 907-456-0261 Arizona Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) 602-952-2410 California Rep. Carlos Moorhead (R-CA) 818-247-8445 Rep. Elton Gallegly (R-CA) 805-485-2300 Rep. Howard Berman (D-CA) 818-891-0543 Rep. Anna Eshoo (D-CA) 415-323-2984 Colorado Rep. Pat. Schroeder (D-CO) 303-866-1230 Rep. Daniel Schaefer (R-CO) 303-762-8890 Florida Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-FL) 904-351-8011 Georgia Rep. Bob Barr (R-GA) 404-429-1776 Rep. Newt Gingrich (R-GA) 404-565-6398 Hawaii Sen. Daniel Inouye (D-HI) 808-541-2542 Illinois Rep. Bobby Rush (D-IL) 312-224-6500 Rep. Dennis Hastert (R-IL) 708-406-1114 Rep. Henry Hyde (R-IL) 708-832-5950 Rep. Michael Flanagan (R-IL) 312-276-6000 Indiana Rep. Steve Buyer (R-IN) 219-583-9819 Kansas Sen. Bob Dole (R-KS) 913-295-2745 Kentucky Sen. Wendell Ford (D-KY) 502-685-5158 Massachusetts Rep. Edward Markey (D-MA) 617-396-2900 Michigan Rep. John Dingell (D-MI) 313-846-1276 Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) 313-961-5670 Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott (R-MS) 601-762-5400 Montana Sen. Conrad Burns (R-MT) 406-252-0550 Nebraska Sen. Jim Exon (D-NE) 402-437-5591 New York Rep. Bill Paxon (R-NY) 716-634-2324 Rep. Daniel Frisa (R-NY) 516-872-9550 Ohio Rep. Michael Oxley (R-OH) 419-423-3210 Rep. Martin Hoke (R-OH) 216-356-2010 Rep. Sherrod Brown (D-OH) 216-934-5100 South Carolina Sen. Ernest Hollings (D-SC) 803-727-4525 South Dakota Sen. Larry Pressler (R-SD) 605-226-7471 Tennessee Rep. Bart Gordon (D-TN) 615-896-1986 Texas Rep. Jack Fields (R-TX) 713-540-8000 Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) 817-543-1000 Rep. John Bryant (D-TX) 901-382-5811 Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) 713-655-0050 Virginia Rep. Thomas Bliley (R-VA) 804-771-2809 Rep. Rick Boucher (D-VA) 703-628-1145 Rep. Robert Scott (D-VA) 804-380-1000 Rep. Robert Goodlatte (R-VA) 703-857-2672 Washington Rep. Rick White (R-WA) 206-640-0233 Sen. Slade Gorton (R-WA) 206-553-0350 Wisconsin Rep. Scott Klug (R-WI) 608-257-9200 West Virginia Sen. J.D. Rockefeller (D-WV) 303-347-5372 If you're at a loss for words, try one of the following: Please oppose the unconstitutional proposals in the Telecomm Deregulation bill that would censor the Internet. The only effective way to address children's access to objectionable material on the Internet is through parental control tools not government censorship outlined by the Cox/White/Wyden approach. May I please have an appointment to come and talk with the legislator or someone on staff about these issues? or As a religious person and a parent, I oppose the unconstitutional Internet censorship language currently attached to the Telecomm Deregulation bill. I am the best person to monitor my child's access to the Internet using parental control tools as outlined in the Cox/White/Wyden approach. May I please have an appointment to come and talk with the legislator or someone on staff about these issues? or Although there is information on the Internet that I wouldn't allow my children to see, I don't agree with the proposals in the Telecomm Deregulation bill that would censor the Internet. As a parent, I have parental control tools, such as those encouraged in the Cox/White/Wyden approach available to me that are far more effective at controlling my children's access to the Internet than censorship laws will be. May I please have an appointment to come and talk with the legislator or someone on staff about these issues? Send mail to vtw@vtw.org and let us know how it went. $ Mail vtw@vtw.org Subject: phoned Congressman XXX They thanked me for my opinion and I'll be meeting with a staff member on Friday morning, and the legislator may drop in too! 2. If one of the legislators above is yours, please make an appointment to see them or one of their staff in the home office as soon as possible to express your concerns about this legislation. As background information, you should ensure that you read the Internet Parental Control FAQ and the Communications Decency Act FAQ found at URL:http://www.vtw.org/. Also, send mail to volunteer@vtw.org and a coordinator will phone you before the meeting to give you some tips on running an effective meeting with a legislator or staff member. 3. If you run any sort of system that allows a welcome message for all users, please add the following: The Religious Right is attempting to shut down the net by passing legislation that would make services like this one liable for what you say on the internet now; for more info URL:http://www.vtw.org/ or send mail to files@vtw.org with "send alert" in the subject line. (11/20/95) If you have a Web page that gets a lot of traffic, please add the following link: Stop the Religious Right from shutting down online free speech! (11/8/95) 4. Join the online fight by becoming a volunteer for your district! If your legislator is in the list above, please send mail to volunteer@vtw.org to volunteer to be a representative for your district. 5. We can't suggest relaxing at this point. The stakes are too high, and the risk is too great. Everything now hangs in the balance. ________________________________________________________________________ LEGISLATIVE HISTORY We are near the end of this year's campaign. Congress has passed four different bills, all aimed at regulating your communications on the Internet. They range from deregulation proposals that empower parents to control their children's access to the net (HR1978 "Cox/Wyden/White") to overly-regulatory proposals that "dumb down" the level of all Internet content to that which is acceptable to children. (the HR1555 Managers Amendment). You can see a synopsis of each of these in VTW's BillWatch #13 at URL:http://www.vtw.org/billwatch/issue.13.html Were the conference committee to simply throw this all into the kettle and pass it all, it would be terrible. However, several groups considered to be part of the "Religious Right" urged the conference committee to pass an even more restrictive proposal which would: -Make internet providers, online services, and libraries criminally liable for expression online. -Create a standard for criminalizing "indecency" online, dumbing down every Web page, newsgroups, discussion forum, and chat system. -Give the FCC jurisdiction over speech in cyberspace and software that might be used to filter children's access to the net. This proposal was signed by representatives from the Christian Coalition, the Concerned Women of America, the American Family Association, Eagle Forum, the Traditional Values Coalition, and Morality in Media. For a full analysis of the Religious Right's proposal, and a copy of their proposed legislation and their letter to the Conference Committee, see the alert at URL:http://www.vtw.org/alerts/ Alternatively, representatives from large and small businesses and public interest organizations recently sent letters to Congress asking them not censor the Internet. In addition, a collection of conservative groups that advocate restricting childrens' access to the Internet through parental control instead of government censorship recently sent a letter to Congress as well. Here's where to find them: The letter from large industry businesses can be found at: URL:http://www.cdt.org/policy/freespeech/1109_iwg_ltr.html The letter from small businesses can be found at: URL:http://www.vtw.org/cdaletter/ The letter from the conservative groups can be found at: URL:http://www.cdt.org/policy/freespeech/cons_110795_ltr.html The letter from the advocacy organizations can be obtained by sending mail to infoaclu@aclu.org with "organizations opposed to online censorship" in the subject line of your message. At this time, the conference committee is still debating the issue. Advocates of business and free speech are contacting Congress. ________________________________________________________________________ LIST OF PARTICIPATING ORGANIZATIONS In order to use the net more effectively, several organizations have joined forces on a single Congressional net campaign to stop the Communications Decency Act. American Civil Liberties Union * American Communication Association * American Council for the Arts * Arts & Technology Society * Association of Alternative Newsweeklies * biancaTroll productions * Boston Coalition for Freedom of Expression * Californians Against Censorship Together * Center For Democracy And Technology * Centre for Democratic Communications * Center for Public Representation * Citizen's Voice - New Zealand * Cloud 9 Internet *Computer Communicators Association * Computel Network Services * Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility * Cross Connection * Cyber-Rights Campaign * CyberQueer Lounge * Dutch Digital Citizens' Movement * ECHO Communications Group, Inc. * Electronic Frontier Canada * Electronic Frontier Foundation * Electronic Frontier Foundation - Austin * Electronic Frontiers Australia * Electronic Frontiers Houston * Electronic Frontiers New Hampshire * Electronic Privacy Information Center * Feminists For Free Expression * First Amendment Teach-In * Florida Coalition Against Censorship * FranceCom, Inc. Web Advertising Services * Friendly Anti-Censorship Taskforce for Students * Hands Off! The Net * Inland Book Company * Inner Circle Technologies, Inc. * Inst. for Global Communications * Internet On-Ramp, Inc. * Internet Users Consortium * Joint Artists' and Music Promotions Political Action Committee * The Libertarian Party * Marijuana Policy Project * Metropolitan Data Networks Ltd. * MindVox * MN Grassroots Party * National Bicycle Greenway * National Campaign for Freedom of Expression * National Coalition Against Censorship * National Gay and Lesbian Task Force * National Public Telecomputing Network * National Writers Union * Oregon Coast RISC * Panix Public Access Internet * People for the American Way * Republican Liberty Caucus * Rock Out Censorship * Society for Electronic Access * The Thing International BBS Network * The WELL * Voters Telecommunications Watch (Note: All 'Electronic Frontier' organizations are independent entities, not EFF chapters or divisions.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- End Alert Stanton McCandlish (http://www.eff.org/~mech/) mech@eff.org Electronic Frontier Foundation (http://www.eff.org/) Online Activist (http://www.eff.org/A/) ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³The following entries by: indwrk@web.apc.org, galt@facility.cs.utah.edu ³ ³ fnl-b@netcom.com, notowar@telerama.lm.com ³ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ ³PROBLEM 88900134 of 90000000 ³ French Students And Workers Protest ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ I really can't believe more people aren't talking about this... I am on a mailing list (riot-l) which sends out newswire stories about various strikes, riots, civil wars, etc. happening around the world. Well, last week, I got three stories on the 14-16 about student strikes in France. Apparently, students had been pretty pissed about the what the rightist government has been up to (similar to the 'Contract with America') for over a month since school started, but last week, it flared up. Each day, the movement grew, and more and more universities went on strike. Thousands of students took to the streets, blocking Euro-disney among other things. The opposition labor unions have called for a general strike on the 28th, and it sounds like the students are taking to streets by the thousand this week. I haven't heard any specifics since last Thursday, but I bet things have continued to snowball. This has the potential of being bigger than '68 when the government was almost toppled (they failed largely due to the government and the Communists succeeding in dividing the students and workers, but now the students and workers are working together). ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³SOLUTION 88900134 of 90000000 ³ French Students And Workers Protest ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ What needs to be done is for students all around the world to make contact with the students and workers in France and spread the word, agitating for student strikes everywhere in solidarity with the French students and against our own systems. It seems the 'mainstream' press is aware of the fact that publicizing student unrest in one country can lead to student unrest in other countries, because there has been ZERO coverage in the U.S. as far as I can tell. This story has been blocked even more effectively than the Zapatistas in Mexico, and it is potentially much more significant. There is more information in the articles about this problem accompanying this issue of Kill Yourself. There should be one called "Newswire" and one called "Voice Of America" ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³The following entry brought to you by Anonymous ³ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ ³PROBLEM 66544908 of 70000000 ³ Sexism A Threat Again ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ Will sexism ever go away? Did you ever think it did? Evidently not. Check this Out... >------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > >> Top 75 reasons why women (bitches) should not have freedom of speech: >> >> "Let's go back to the good old days when men were men and women were ribs" >> >> 1. She doesn't need to talk to get me a beer. >> 2. If she's in the kitchen like she should be, no one can hear her anyway. >> 3. If she can talk, all she'll do is complain. >> 4. Because she won't say "I will" instead of "I do." >> 5. No man wants to hear "first down" during a basketball game. >> 6. Because PMS is no excuse for whining. >> 7. No man needs or wants to hear the word "period" unless it has to do with hockey. >> 8. Women created tampon and yeast infection commercials during football. >> 9. Affirmative action. >> 10. When men whistle at them in the street, they should just shut up and obey anyway. >> 11. If my dick's in her mouth, she can't talk anyway. >> 12. Oprah. >> 13. Feminists. >> 14. Because that stupid look on her face should not be accompanied by an >> equally stupid statement. >> 15. The 2nd and 19th amendments. >> 16. I don't want to be made to lie and say "I love you" after sex. >> 17. Highway fatalities would decrease by over 90%. >> 18. When I sneak out at four in the morning, I don't want to hear anybody >> calling me back. >> 19. "No, I will NOT buy you tampons while I'm at the store" >> 20. This is my dick. I'm gonna fuck you. No more stupid questions. >> 21. Don't waste your breath, I won't respect you in the morning. >> 22. Women sportscasters. >> 23. Women congressman. >> 24. God forbid, a woman president. (Oops, my bad -- see #66) >> 25. Marge Schott. >> 26. Stupid says as stupid does (and is). >> 27. Dikes (unless I can jump in the middle). >> 28. Where does speaking come into "barefoot and pregnant?" >> 29. Yes that toilet seat was yellow in the first place. >> 30. TLC and Salt-N-Pepa. >> 31. I could give a shit if you're pregnant. >> 32. I don't care if you're in labor. For the love of god, let me sleep. >> 33. Women caused the 18th amendment. >> 34. The life expectancy of the average male goes down with every bitchy word. >> 35. Female drunks are annoying unless they put out (for which they dont >> need to talk) >> 36. We're tired of their "We can't pee standing up" shit. >> 37. That damn apple. >> 38. If she can't speak, she can't cry rape. >> 39. Of course, if she can't speak, she can't say no. >> 40. Rosanne. Nuff said. >> 41. Suzanne Powter. Too much said. >> 42. Honestly, do they really have anything useful to say? >> 43. Only one set of lips should be moving at a time. >> 44. If she can't talk, she can't bitch when I forget important dates. >> 45. There are no speaking parts in pornos anyway. >> 46. When she talks she's not drinking, it's hard to get her drunk when she talking. >> 47. Nothing should come out a womans mouth, SWALLOW BITCH! >> 48. The Mute button only works on the TV. >> 49. Whores get payed by the hour not by the word. >> 50. Helen Keller was the ultimate woman. >> 51. Equality is for math. >> 52. The credit card bill speaks for itself. >> 53. If it hurts, I don't wanna hear it. >> 54. Marcia Clark. >> 55. Chick-flicks. >> 56. You don't see Victoria's Secret models talking, do you? >> 57. Janet, Mariah, and Whitney. >> 58. Michael Jackson. >> 59. Silence and sex make a great combination. >> 60. N.O.W.? NO. NOW BITCH? YES. >> 61. Intelligent car conversation? Hell no. Her head should never be above >> the dashboard. >> 62. That annoying fat bitch from Snapple. >> 63. Your mouth is useful in so many other ways. >> 64. High phone bills really suck. >> 65. Women should be seen and not heard. >> 66. Do you think it was BILL Clinton who fucked up the country? >> 67. If I want romance, I'll turn on Playboy (hopefully not her). >> 68. Because they're not men. >> 69. 69, finally a use for both lips at the same time. >> 70. If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask for it. >> 71. Hell, if I wanted your opinion, I'd give it to you. >> 72. "Where've you been?" Who the fuck are you, my mother? >> 73. Women on radio? You can't see them, do you really want to hearthem? >> 74. Unless the words are "Doctor, can you make these bigger?," shut the fuck up. >> 75. Big breasts should speak for themselves. ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³SOLUTION 66544908 of 70000000 ³ Sexism A Threat Again ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ So what's going to happen to... emc13@cornell.edu>Evan Camps blw7@cornell.edu>Brian Waldman rrl2@cornell.edu>Rikus Linschoten phs8@cornell.edu>? Well there was talk of expulsion, which I think is extreme, but they decided not to. How cab you boot someone for their opinion? Educate them first, which is exactly what they are going to do. A sensitivity course is not such a bad idea. These aren't even remotely funny. They are simply in bad taste. ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð SHORT STORIES/POETRY... ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³The following entry brought to you by Dave (IAMHOLTZ@oak.grove.iup.edu) ³ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ ³ "Things Only Get Tougher" ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ Free from the over-eaten under-cooked dictation of who's a friend and when will it end? the doubts, breathing down the neck, spec of dirt evolved to giant crater, hater of flesh of alternative tone It's shone through in the headline news screws you over as does booze as they say as they want you to believe conceive deceived disbelieved when the truth is outspoken through the mouth of the impoverished fisherman's daughter loiterer in an empty room the fumes of discontent taunt my tentacles of mushy love and fluffy difinitives. Rock my world with a cabinet labeled "destruction" is what the next level of alternative becomes runs away from the life of the average everyday post master attorney general of the absence minded two-timing tit toucher lush fuss when I tell you to calm down so it makes sense to fence against the empty wallet pence, currency frees the world of employment an endowment a simple taste touch on the tongue fungus fabulous nasty taste curious but cancerous but we try it anyway because the bartender is away now and nothing makes for a safe trip home in the land of the lost cause Chase the stationary flowers immobile why aren't we? station yourself without a doubt pouting in a puddle pounding in the rubble caving excavating through the way things ought to be but never can until cosmic rebirth curse on you sware to Jesus that nothing will ever be the same show me the sanity trail frail in it's indecision incision of a metal spike surging singing cold hot bold in the new adventure of the day which brings us down to earth in the last place we thought we'd never be in the last time we always thought would come underneath above below kill the lights cuz action is engulfing us and technology is the destruction of planet America live under law life under love that can never please us like green paper shaper of the blubber, glass blower and a cup of tea make me see red in a daze unless you include the flu and the wire and the fuse shocking locking me up when I'm free to leave under your control. Poll tax fax me a letter telling me you know that I can think straight with me head cut off illiterate autistic indistinctive and genius these are the qualities I possess and they are more than you can comprehend. Shun me now because tomorrow I'll have your head just the same as you had mine in the war core of the earth. Get ready for super time. Wash your mouth out with soap and grope the ground you already worship. Things only get tougher. ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³The following entry brought to you by Mark Harmon - Assoc. Prof. Texas Tech.³ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ ³ "RBS - Republican Broadcasting System" ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ A TYPICAL DAILY PBS SCHEDULE IF THE PUBLIC BROADCASTING LEADERS CAVE IN TO REPUBLICAN PRESSURE 8:00 am Morning Stretch: Arnold Schwarzenegger does squats while reciting passages of "Atlas Shrugged." 9:00 am Mr. Rogers' Segregated Neighborhood: King Friday sings "Elitism is neat." The House Un-American Activities investigation of Mr. McFeely continues. Mr. Rogers explains why certain kids can't be his neighbor. 10:00 am Sesame Street: Jerry Falwell teaches Big Bird to be more judgemental. Oscar the Grouch plays substitute for Rush Limbaugh. Bert and Ernie are kicked out of the military. Jesse Helms bleaches all the Muppets white. 11:00 am Square One: A MathNet episode "Ernest Does Trickle-Down." Jim Varney explains how cutting taxes for the rich and spending more on defense will balance the budget. Noon Washington Week in Review: Special guest Senator Bob Dole, explaining why the current pension crisis, budget deficit, bank closings, farm foreclosures, S & L bailouts, inflation, recession, job loss, and trade deficit can all be blamed on someone else. 1:00 pm Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? Guest detective Pat Buchanan helps kids build a wall around the U.S. 2:00 pm William F. Buckley's Firing Line: Guests George Will, Rush Limbaugh, John Sununu, Pat Buchanan, James Kilpatrick, Mona Charen, G. Gordon Liddy, Robert Novak, Bay Buchanan, Pat Robertson, Joseph Sobran, Paul Harvey, Phyllis Schafly, Maureen Reagan, and John McLaughlinbemoan the need for more conservative media voices. 3:00 pm Nature: Join James Watt and Charlton Heston as they use machine guns to bag endangered species. 4:00 pm NOVA: "Creationism: Discredited, but what the hell?" 5:00 pm Newt Ginrich News Hour: Clarence Thomas and Bob Packwood present in-depth personal reports on sexual harassment. Pat Buchanan says he is being shut out from national exposure. 6:00 pm Mystery Theater: Hercule Poirot, Jane Marple, and Sherlock Holmes team up to investigate Whitewater. 7:00 pm Great Performances: Pat Buchanan is a guest conductor of Wagner's "Prelude to a Cultural War." 8:00 pm Masterpiece Theater: Ibsen's "A Doll's House." Phyllis Schafly adds to this classic with an added scene where Nora gladly gives up her independence while her husband chains her to the stove. 9:30 pm Washington Week in Review: Guests George Will, Rush Limbaugh, John Sununu, Pat Buchanan, James Kilpatrick, Mona Charen, G. Gordon Liddy, Robert Novak, Bay Buchanan, Pat Robertson, Joseph Sobran, Paul Harvey, Phyllis Schafly, Maureen Reagan, and John McLaughlin discuss liberal media bias. 10:00 pm Adam Smith's Money World: How to Profit from Ozone Depletion 10:30 pm Nightly Business Report: Wall Street celebrates the end of all laws regarding antitrust, consumer protection, work-place safety, environmental protection, minimum wage and child labor. 11:00 pm Insights of Dan Quayle 11:01 pm Sign-Off ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³The following entries: Robert W. Howington (robert.howington@chrysalis.org)³ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ ³ A Collection of Poetry ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ WHO IS ROBERT W. HOWINGTON? I'm a 35-year-old government worker who hopes to win the Texas Lotto so that I don't ever have to work at a shitty job ever again. In my spare time, I publish DRIVE-BY BOOKS and BROADSIDES. There are eight of each and all the books, except #8 which is $3, are $2 cash/m.o./trade and $1 gets you all the b'sides. I've published many underground legends, including Charles Bukowski, Lyn Lifshin, Todd Moore, Steve Richmond, Kurt Nimmo, Bill Shields, Cheryl A. Townsend, Paul Weinman, ron androla, Gerald Locklin, William Packard (editor of THE NEW YORK QUARTERLY) and many, many more fantastic poets and writers who're all ignored by the mainstream publishers. My wife, Crista C. Williams, publishes the notorious underground litmag HAPPY KITTY. A sample copy of it can be had for $2 cash/m.o. We can both be reached at 4405 Bellaire Drive South #220, Fort Worth, TX 76109-5103, USA, or at robert.howington@chrysalis.org As for me I've had a chapbook of poems and two short stories translated into German by Ariel-Verlag called K.O. im Copyshop. I've had a chapbook of poems, JUST ANOTHER MENACE TO SOCIETY (Penny Dreadful Press, Nashville, TN) and short stories, SPIKED SLURPEE (Undulating Bedsheets Productions, LA, CA), published. I also won the 1994 Charles E. Hanna Literary Award, judged by the Texas Christian University (Fort Worth, TX) English Chair, with the poem A WOMAN I KNOW AT WORK. I've had poems and short stories in such mags as THE NEW YORK QUARTERLY, THE WORMWOOD REVIEW, ATOM MIND, So it goes... (an e-zine), AH POOK IS HERE (England), THE MOWER (Germany), SIVULLINEN (Finland) and over 100 others. PISS ON THIS. Written on the urinal stall in the men's room at POOR DAVID'S PUB in Dallas and among the crudely drawn hard-ons and child-like scribbled phone numbers of people offering sex to those that have the money to pay for it, there was somebody's opinion regarding prayer in the schools. I read it while relieving myself. It stated, "There will always be prayer in school if they keep giving math tests." WE'RE ALL GOING DOWN. I just saw an anti-smoking ad on tv. It said, "You smoke. You die." Excuse me, but I think these people should go back to the very beginning where it says, "You born. You die." ANOTHER POEM WRITTEN ON COMPANY TIME. Jesus, the philosopher (I don't call him the Son of God, but that's another poem), once told his fans, "For the wages of sin is death." I sit here at my desk at work, a career paper pusher for Uncle Sam, thinking I'd much rather plunder, rape, murder, pillage, fuck, gamble and consume drugs 24-7-365 than work 8-to-5 for 40 years in a boring office, plus be a goody two shoes the whole time, and fucking die anyway. THE FIRST TIME I DIED. When Julie, my first wife, stood in the bedroom's doorway and said she didn't love me anymore her words tore through me like bullets. I sat on the edge of our bed holding myself tight where it hurt, my head hung low, tears spilling out of my eyes. The pain was so bad I was thinking I wished I was dead. I didn't know it then but I had already died. The tears were a rebirth. All poems (C) 1995 ROBERT W. HOWINGTON ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ The following entry by Jenn ³ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ ³ "Interventionist Idealism Comes Forth" ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ The story that is about to be told is a true story! The names have been changed to protect the innocent. The main character of the story was five when it took place and is now the age of fifteen. Zowie was born 1980 and lived in Columbus, Ohio. She had a babysitter who lived down the street. This is where she spent the greater part of each day. At the age of five Zowie had long blond hair and big blue eyes. She had a good life, lots of friends, nice parents, and a great older sister who she looked up to. Though her family was ideal they were all blind to the evil she put up with every day. Now, Zowie can only remember a few incidents, but she knew these were not the only ones. Zowie's family was the only white family in the 'hood' and this is the only reason that Zowie could come up with with as to why she was the only one who was molested by her babysitter's son, Ander. Her actual babaysitter was nice and always had sweets for the kids to eat, yet going there for Zowie was the beginning of a neverending nightmare. Ander, the molester, was adopted and always had many problems. And because he was black and Zowie was a young white girl who was extremely vulnerable he took them out on her. She knew subconciously that what he was doing was wrong, but she didn't have the power to stop him. It came unexpected. When she was taking a nap he'd come into her room and pull down her pants. In the car he'd force her to put her hand in his pocket, where he had ever so cleverly cut holes in his pocket. He'd make her touch, squeeze and stroke anything he wanted her to, while she sat with tears in her eyes. To this day, Zowie remembers these times with unwanted vividness. She said that what bothers her the most is that she can't remember what happened before the age of five. When asked what she would do if she ever saw him again, she said she'd ask him why then punch him in the stomach. She has never told her parents. She knows they can't change the past. And it would only put a great deal of guilt upon them. She's telling me because people go through life without ever realizing that someone you think you know so well has put up with so much shit. ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ McCROSKEY'S CORNER ³ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ ³ "How To Spot A Redneck" ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ Please send all responses to lamont@CPCN.COM ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð What is it that makes a redneck? There are so many different things that come together to make a redneck, and it's just amazing how easy it is to spot one. Is it the old beat-up car? Is it the flannel shirt and tight jeans? Is it the long hair (male OR female)? The easiest way to spot a redneck is by the vehicular mode of transportation. Either it's an old, beat-up rusting hunk of metal with a tailpipe dragging behind it, or it's a nicely kept old car with a souped-up 442 or something like that. Either car makes a lot of noise, and both are easy to spot. I don't know why the beat-up cars share that common tri-color paint scheme, and most of the time it's not paint, it's primer. And the souped-up cars, why is the rear of the car jacked up? They've always got these big, fat tires and the wheels will be jacked up about a foot off of the ground. I've always thought this to be a waste of time since it raises the car's center of gravity and makes it much more difficult to take corners. I guess that doesn't matter much since they spend most of their time cruising up tand down the street looking for some fresh junior-high school 'women' to pick up on, which brings me to my next point. Why it it that there are so many redneck men in their mid-twenties with girlfriends that are about 16 years old? I've seen that alot in this little redneck town that I love in. I've heard of 20 year old guys seeing 15 year old junior high girls and stuff. It surprises the hell out of me. I don't understand it and I can't figure it out. Is it because these girls remind them of their sisters? That's the only thing I can think of. Another universal redneck fact is that a majority of red necks have sex in their back seats. Is there something about back seats that I am missing? I can't stand just sitting in most back seats, but to have sex in the back seat? I know that there are non-rednecks that have had sex in their back seats, but the ratio of rednecks having some of that back seat action to other people doing it is about 25,000:1. Well, I guess if you're that horny and you've got to do it, any place is comfortable. I've also noticed that rednecks seem to share a common bond as far as clothing goes. The norm is something like a flannel shirt, tight jeans, some old torn up boots or shoes, and a mesh baseball cap. Did they all get together and plan this at a Klan rally or something? I'm still amazed at the similarities in clothing that all of the rednecks share. And their jeans will have that cool ring on their back pockets where their can of chew has been for the last 5 years. I don't know, I just don't know about the rednecks. Don't even mention mobile homes. Don't get me wrong though, I've seen many a nice mobile home park, and there are some nice people living in a lot of these places. But I'm talking about those parks where's there's about 5 fet between each trailer, a dog (or 5) is leashed up to every one of them, all of the kids are running around either nekkid, or pretty damned close to it. "Hey bitch, what cha cookin' tonight?" asks a 28 year old voice. "We're having spam and tuna, honey," replies a 16 year old voice. I'm glad that tornadoes strike mobile homes so much, I consider it population control for rednecks. Rednecks really make me sick. I wonder what they think? I know that they are not on the same train of thought that the rest of the world is. I remember riding by a truck with one of my punk friends, and all of the sudden I hear something barking from within the truck. I seriously thought it was dog until I heard my friend yelling at the truck. As it turns out, it was a couple of rednecks barking at my friend because he had on a chain around his neck. I guess that's another universal redneck thing since that was the second time within a couple of days that rednecks had barked at him. Something muct be done about rednecks. There must be a Klan out there against rednecks. They should all be strung up! I think there should be an annual trailer tipping night or something, that oughta really piss them off! ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿There are forces at work, yet it is safe to say that these forces ³IN CLOSING:³are not beyond our understanding. These forces, rules put upon us ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙby every sprouting young republican yuppie asshole can be changed. Write, write, write those letters to congress when you hear about an upcoming decision you disagree with. People try to hard to put you in your place so they can get what they feel they deserve and always maintain the highest position. Sometimes it's not a bad idea, if the person you are doing it to has made such a strong effort to shit on the underdog. Either let them keep on taking your freedom or KILL YOURSELF! ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³DISTRIBUTION IS AS FOLLOWS:³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ E-MAIL * IAMHOLTZ@oak.grove.iup.edu * BEAN@cpcn.com FTP: * ftp.eng.ufl.edu/incoming * etext.archive.umich.edu/pub/Zines/KillYourself * ftp.etext.org/pub/Zines/KillYourself * locust.cic.net/pub/Zines/KillYourself GOPHER: * gopher://gopher.etext.org/11/Zines HTML:(Take a look at the new homepage when you get the chance) * http://hops.cs.jhu.edu/~mbk/killyourself.html (homepage) * http://www.etext.org/Zines/KillYourself ðððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððððð