================================================================= A Better Life: ItsYourFuture! Be Happy, Be Healthy, Live Long and Prosper ================================================================= Vol.2, No. 8 April 15th., 2000 ISSN 1442-5211 CONTENTS IN THIS ISSUE ---------------------- 1. Our Sponsor 2. Welcome - From the Publisher 3. Our Motto 4. BE HAPPY: the MIND-ATTITUDE Inspiration: Instructions for Life Humor: The Ultimate Urban Legend Humor: Excerpts from "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings" Romance: Send Your Love- Electronically 5. BE HEALTHY, LIVE LONG: the BODY-HEALTH/FITNESS/NUTRITION Glen's Food Fit for the Fit Recipe: Muesli Bars Item: Join The Movement Movement Item: Do Blondes Have More Fun Than Marathoners? 6. PROSPER: MONEY-CAREER/BUSINESS/INVESTING/HOME BUSINESS 7. Our Companion Ezines 8. Classified Ads. 9. Privacy Policy, Disclaimer and Copyright Notice 10. Contact Information ================================================================= 1. Our Sponsor: ================================================================= Marketing Adzine- It's YOUR Web Marketing Ezine "Marketing, Advertising, Promotional and E-commerce Resources for the Web Marketer". 38 years of common-sense Marketing PLUS the awesome potential of the Web! For your free copy, send a blank email to mailto:webmarketing-subscribe@itsyourfuture.net ================================================================= 2. Welcome from the Publisher ================================================================= Hi All! We seem to be going through some minor adventures with eGroups, who send out our Ezine. They've just improved (!) their system, and we are having a few problems. Please bear with us. This Issue I'm happy to be able to bring you some words of wisdom attributed to a man I believe is one of the great figures of the 20th. century, the Dalai Lama. Amongst a lot of other items, there is one dedicated to my cat, Damia. She really doesn't need to read the excerpts from "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings", she's obviously already a skilled practioner of the feline arts. Other cat lovers will recognise their own cats here, I'm sure! Enjoy the selection, and we'll see you back next time. John ================================================================= 3. Our Motto ================================================================= Our Motto is- "Be Happy, Be Healthy, Live Long and Prosper." >From this Motto, we can define the three main areas in which we intend to assist our readers.. ================================================================= 4. BE HAPPY: the MIND-ATTITUDE ================================================================= Quote: "A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy and nothing can stop him." - Alexander Solzenitsyn Inspiration: Instructions for Life ----------------------------------- attributed to the Dalai Lama 1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 3. Follow the three Rs: - Respect for self - Respect for others and - Responsibility for all your actions 4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. 5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. 6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. 7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. 8. Spend some time alone every day. 9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. 10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. 11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time. 12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. 13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. 14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. 15. Be gentle with the earth. 16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before. 17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. 18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. 19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. Humor: The Ultimate Urban Legend --------------------------------- I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC). Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital -- the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him aan e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for 10 people only you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk mail and you will receive 4 green M&Ms -- if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: You will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your spouse/mate will develop a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S.government will put a tax on your e-mails forever. I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet. ----------------------------------------------------------------- *CLEAN JOKES** **CLEAN JOKES** **CLEAN JOKES** Jokes EveryDay will send you 3 clean jokes to your e-mail daily. Sign up for FREE and join 50,000+ readers who already enjoy it! To SIGN UP for FREE send a e-mail to: join-jokeseveryday@lists.dundee.net Or visit us at our website: http://www.jokeseveryday.com?a ----------------------------------------------------------------- Humor: Excerpts from "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings" ---------------------------------------------------- 1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans? So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating creatures. There will be any number of times, during the course of your association with humans, when you will wonder why you have bothered to grace them with your resence. What's so great about humans, anyway? Why not just hang around with other cats? Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple: THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS. Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves. True, chimps, orangutans and lemurs also have opposable thumbs, but they are nowhere as easy to train. 2. How And When to Get Your Human's Attention Humans often erroneously assume that there are other, more important activities than taking care of your immediate needs, such as conducting business, spending time with their families or even sleeping. Though this is dreadfully inconvenient, you can make this work to your advantage by pestering your human at the moment it is the busiest. It is usually so flustered that it will do whatever you want it to do, just to get you out of its hair. Not coincidentally, human teenagers follow this same practice. Here are some tried and true methods of getting your human to do what you want: Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper in front of it, chances are good it's something they assume is more important than you. They will often offer you a snack to lure you away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards, remote controls, car keys and small children. Waking your human at odd hours: A cat's "golden time" is between 3:30 and 4:30 in the morning. If you paw at your human's sleeping face during this time, you have a better than even chance that it will get up and, in an incoherent haze, do exactly what you want. You may actually have to scratch deep sleepers to get their attention; remember to vary the scratch site to keep the human from getting suspicious. 3. Punishing Your Human Being Sometimes, despite your best training efforts, your human will stubbornly resist bending to your whim. In these extreme circumstances, you may have to punish your human. Obvious punishments, such as scratching furniture or eating household plants, are likely to backfire; the unsophisticated humans are likely to misinterpret the activities and then try to discipline YOU. Instead, we offer these subtle but nonetheless effective alternatives: * Use the cat box during an important formal dinner. * Stare impassively at your human while it is attempting a romantic interlude. * Stand over an important piece of electronic equipment and feign a hairball attack. * After your human has watched a particularly disturbing horror film, stand by the hall closet and then slowly back away, hissing and yowling. * While your human is sleeping, lie on its face. 4. Rewarding Your Human: Should Your Gift Still Be Alive? The cat world is divided over the etiquette of presenting humans with the thoughtful gift of a recently disemboweled animal. Some believe that humans prefer these gifts already dead, while others maintain that humans enjoy a slowly expiring cricket or rodent just as much as we do, given their jumpy and playful movements in picking the creatures up after they've been presented. After much consideration of the human psyche, we recommend the following: cold blooded animals (large insects, frogs, lizards, garden snakes and the occasional earthworm) should be presented dead, while warm blooded animals (birds, rodents, your neighbor's Pomeranian) are better still living. When you see the expression on your human's face, you'll know it's worth it. 5. How Long Should You Keep Your Human? You are only obligated to your human for one of your lives. The other eight are up to you. We recommend mixing and matching, though in the end, most humans (at least the ones that are worth living with) are pretty much the same. But what do you expect? They're humans, after all. Opposable thumbs will only take you so far. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Want more clean jokes? Subscribe to Dave's Daily Chuckle! daily_chuckle-subscribe@egroups.com or visit http://www.Daily-Chuckle.com ----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- DON'T STOP YOUR LIFE FOR THE 6 and 10! === DailyNewsMail.com === Get your local news by email from DailyNewsMail.com! Available for more than 300 cities nationwide at http://www.DailyNewsMail.com or get USA News - DNMNational-subscribe@topica.com ----------------------------------------------------------------- Romance: Send Your Love- Electronically ---------------------------------------- by Michael Webb With the increasing popularity of the Internet and other computer message boards more people than ever are tapped into the computer. It doesn't have to be a cold medium. A little loving message found on the computer can warm up anyone's day. Most of us spend a great deal of time on the computer every week. Why not take a small amount of that time to send a message to the person who means the most to you? Most people enjoy getting personal mail. I certainly do. I look forward to hearing "you've got mail" from my computer whenever I log online. Some computer mail systems can be programmed to send messages at specific times or on an exact day in the future. If your significant other gets on the computer often, you can program dozens of messages at once to be sent all throughout the month. By programming your computer to send either a message to yourself or your sweetheart, it is a great way to be certain that you don't forget a birthday or anniversary. To make that special occasion even more special you could arrange for your beloved to receive dozens (if not hundreds) of computer messages from friends, family and even complete strangers. There are many chat rooms or bulletin boards where you could make your wishes be known. Depending on where your post your request, congratulatory messages might come in from all over the world. While dozens of personalized messages received will definitely lift anyone's day, even one small message or electronic card sent to your loved one's e-mail address will bring a guaranteed smile to his or her face. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Michael Webb is author of The RoMANtic's Guide: Hundreds of Creative Tips for a Lifetime of Love. You can order at Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0786884347/itsyourfuture or for more of Michael's FREE tips, visit http://www.TheRomantic.com ----------------------------------------------------------------- ================================================================= 5. BE HEALTHY, LIVE LONG: the BODY-HEALTH/FITNESS/NUTRITION ================================================================= Quote: "Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon." - The Dalai Lama Glen's Food Fit for the Fit Recipe: Muesli Bars ----------------------------------------------- with Glen Esse ------------- 1/2 cup Honey 1/2 cup Peanut Butter 3/4 cup Wholemeal S.R. Flour 3/4 cup Rolled Oats 2 Eggs, lightly beaten 1/2 cup chopped walnuts 1/2 cup Sultanas 1/2 cup dried Apricots 1/2 cup dried Apples Apricots and apples can be substituted with any other dried fruit. I have found Mango, Paw-Paw, Dates and Pineapple all to be suitable. 1 tabs. Sesame Seeds (to sprinkle on top of uncooked mixture). 1. Chop fruit into small cubes. 2. Spray with non-stick cooking spray a 19cmX19cm Pan 3. Microwave Peanut Butter and Honey until combined. 4. Sift flout into bowl. 5. Add remaining ingredients, mix well, spread into pan. 6. Sprinkle Sesame seeds on top. 7. Bake in a mod. oven about 20-25 mins. until browned 8. Cut into bars while hot. 9. Remove from pan when cool. * Makes 18 bars * Suitable to freeze Glen's Tip for the Day... "Put 'Eat chocolate' on the top of your list of Things To Do Today. That way at least you'll get ONE thing done!!!" Join The Movement Movement -------------------------- Dr. Harold Elrick is 81, and he still runs marathons. He obviously practises what he preaches, because what he preaches is exercise. Study after study is showing that moderate exercise cuts the incidence of a huge number of diseases and conditions. According to the US Surgeon-General, the health benefits of exercise "are momentous: preventing premature death, unnecessary illness and disability; controlling health care costs; and maintaining a high quality of life into old age." The benefits of exercise are enjoyed in many areas of health- heart disease, weight control, diabetes, arthritis and depression to name a few. According to the American Heart Association, some 54% of Americans aren't active at all. Dr. Elrick is puzzled by modern standards. "Think of sports. In sports, your goal is to be optimal, to win. Only in health are people satisfied with being average or mediocre." So what's the score? About 12% of all deaths in America have been attributed to lack of activity, so join the movement movement! Do Blondes Have More Fun Than Marathoners? ------------------------------------------ They say that blondes have more fun. Now they have a challenger. The sponsors of the famous London Marathon have done a very interesting piece of research, based on interviews with 2000 finishers in last year's race. They asked competitors a number of questions regarding their sex life, and the effect marathon running had on it. While half maintained that runing had no effect on their sex life, 30% said it had improved their sex life. Only 8% felt the reverse. Very interesting was the result that those who were in favour of lovemaking the night before the race ran faster times than those who weren't. Maybe this indicates that those who actually made love the night before ran faster. If so, I need to see how it works for my 100m sprinting progam. If that doesn't work, I'll obviously have to experiment at each of the intermediate distances...200m, 400m, 800m, 1500m, mile, 3k, 5k, 10k, half-marathon etc. If results are ambiguous, I may have to try the method on the 110m hurdles, 400m hurdles, and the 3k steeplechase. If these resulkts are not conclusive, I may need to experiment with the throwing events, the jumps, .......... The things we do for science and athletic excellence! ================================================================= 6. PROSPER: MONEY-CAREER/BUSINESS/INVESTING/HOME BUSINESS ================================================================= Quote: "Initiative is to success what a lighted match is to a candle." - Orlando A. Battista This Issue's 'Prosper' Feature Article refers specifically to Internet business, but the principle discussed can be equally applied to Offline businesses, too- Ed. The Unwritten "Law of You" -------------------------- by Rick Beneteau The Internet is a lawless frontier. Like the days of the Wild, Wild West, it is slow to establish any kind of order. There are now more webpages in the world than human beings. This uncontrolled binary overpopulation can leave newcomer Netrepreneurs dazed and confused as they attempt to tackle the fundamental question: "how can I even begin to compete in this new world forum?". They KNOW they must, or be left in the RealWorld dust. They simply have to follow the world where the world is starting to shop - the Internet. Especially the business-to-business sector, where most of the Internet dollars are exchanged. But take heart, consumers will quickly follow as the first truly computer literate generation heads out the college doors to begin the shop-from-the-comfort-of-your-home trend, and, hopefully teach mom and dad, grandma and grandpa, and definitely their children that the Net is a relatively safe and obviously convenient place to purchase the goods and services we all require. With that said, common sense dictates that the same set of business laws apply to CyberBusiness as do Mainstreet U.S.A. Although theoretically true, the Net can feel like an awesome, featureless, faceless landscape whose foundation is but countless trillions of zero€  '²s and one€  '²s. A lonely place, with an overabundance of mediocrity. And sadly to say, a disproportionate share over it€  '²s Realworld business brethren of sham, scam and flim-flam artists. Lo and behold, there is an Unwritten Law that when applied to common sense marketing and basic webdesign applications (a lot of information on these subjects can be found in this forum), can make you shine like a beacon in this formidable universe. It is the "Law of You". As master of your corner of CybersSpace, you have the power to separate your website (your business) from the rest of the madding crowd. How? The answer is as simple as it is "big". Let me explain. I have done enough surfing in my researching efforts to learn that there are 3 kinds of websites. Those that don€  '²t say much of anything. Those that speak at you. Those that speak "to" you. The latter group is few and far between in this ocean of bytes but they reach out and touch you like an old friend recounting childhood stories. They speak your language from the get-go, like a familiar song. You get a distinct sense of the website author/owner and with that comes an almost instant feeling of security and trust. An ongoing national insurance companies jingle, which we all can sing by rote €  '¶ "Like a Good Neighbor€  '¥" comes to mind. Why is it that certain business websites can create this "these- are-good-guys" feeling? Simple. They project the personality of the business owner, or, YOU. I typically wonder who is behind a certain website that piques my interest. Did the owner care about how he presented this to me? Does he/she seem like a caring person, someone I would really like to do business with? What is his/her personality like? Sometimes I go to the extreme and guess if its' creator is a man or woman, younger or older, and would this person be the kind of person I could be friends with? I have the business affiliations in my business, InterNiche.net, mainly because this "good-guys" feeling happened to me. Be it in an email letter, business presentation or company website, I chose my partners based on the personalities they "originally" portrayed. Of course, other critical factors entered into our decisions, however, if I didn€  '²t get the "warm and fuzzies" along with the feeling that these companies offered great products/valuable services and, had all their business ducks in a row, well I simply would not be featuring them here. I chose partners that reflected my core business beliefs and basic personal philosophies. This "sense of personality" is key if your intention is to not only sell on the Internet, but keep selling. It is the Unwritten Law of You. As there are no hard and fast rules for this Law because businesses/websites vary greatly, the overall objective is to put as much of "you" in your online presentations as you can. Make people feel they are dealing with you face-to-face and not a million miles away in the dark of CyberSpace. Project the same friendliness you would afford them if they were standing right there at your counter or having coffee in your office. Speak to them in your website as you would on the street. Don€  '²t just display your product pics and descrips and hope they buy. Converse with them, project that warmth, make them feel like you€  '²re that "Good Neighbor". And "you will be there" come thick or thin because they are your customer. Be a person instead of a website. Sell yourself, not just your products. Follow this good advice, apply my Unwritten Law and you will see results that will surely knock your cybersocks off! ----------------------------------------------------------------- Learn the ONE SECRET that Internet Marketing Expert Rick Beneteau developed as his ONLY METHOD to build his business, his reputation and his millions of impressions per month. LEARN with his Powerful New eBook, The Ezine Marketing Machine, and EARN whopping 50% Commissions!! Become Rick€  '²s Partner. 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Join Free At: http://www.EzinePublisher.org ================================================================= ================================================================= ItsYourFuture is published By John Payne AAMI AIMM At April 15th., 2000- 1066 subscribers, 25 countries ================================================================= ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Your high school sweetheart-where is he now? With 4.4 million alumni already registered at Classmates.com, there's a good chance you'll find her here. Visit your online high school class reunion at: http://click.egroups.com/1/3139/3/_/10996/_/956460363/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------