Fortunes from the Illuminatus! trilogy
%%
	World War III is probably imminent and, considering the advances 
in chemicalbiological warfare in conjunction with the sickness vibrations
of Hexagram 23, the unleashing of plague or nervegas or both is as
probable as thermonuclear overkill.
	General prognosis: many megadeaths
	There is some hope for avoidance of the emerging pattern with
prompt action of correct nature. Probability of such avoidance is 0.17
+- 0.05.
	No blame.
%%
	"How do we know whether the universe is getting bigger or the
objects in it are getting smaller? You can't say that the universe is
getting bigger in relation to anything outside it, because there isn't
any outside for it to relate to. There isn't any outside. But if the
universe doesn't have an out-side, then it goes on forever. Yeah, but,
its in-side doesn't go on forever. How do you know it doesn't, shithead?
You're just playing with words, man."
		-- George Dorn, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Will you work at a straight job for something that calls itself
an anarchist syndicate? Will you run an engine lathe eight unfucking
hours a day because the syndicate tells you the people need what the
lathe produces? If you will, _the people_ just becomes a new tyrant."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy
%%
"The sun was as hot as the bishop's jock strap when he finished his
sermon on the evils of pornography."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy
%%
"If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi
would have let me in on it by now. I contribute enough to the schule."
		-- Saul Goodman, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
Children seven and eight years old are talking about penises and vaginas
-- and using those very words! Now, is this an accident? Let me quote
you Lenin's own words..."
		-- "Smiling Jim" Trepomena
%%
"Nothing is as dangerous as a mystic Association. The object remaining a
secret in the hands of the managers, the rest simply put a ring in their
own noses, by which they may be led about at pleasure; and still panting
after the secret they are more pleased the less they see."
		-- John Robison, _Proofs of a Conspiracy_
%%
"In the beginning was the Word, and it was written by a babboon."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy
%%
"A radical is nothing but a liberal with a big mouth. And a a militant
radical is nothing but a big-mouthed liberal with a Che costume. ...
Except for Weatherman and Morituri, all the militant radicals in your
crowd ever do is take out the Molotov cocktail diagram that they
carefully clipped from the _New York Review of Books_, hang it on the
bathroom door and jack-off in connection with it."
		-- Mavis, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
  "In a speech that Joe followed only with difficulty, Simon declared
that "cultural revolution" was more important than political
revolution; that Bugs Bunny should be adopted as the symbol of
anarchists everywhere; that Hoffman's discovery of LSD in 1943 was a
manifestation of direct intervention by God in human affairs; that the
nomination of the boar hog Pigasus for President of the United States by
the Yippies had been the most "transcendentally lucid" political act
of the twentieth century; and that "mass orgies of pot-smoking and
fucking, on every street-corner" was the most practical next step to
liberating the world from tyranny."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy
%%
	"What the world calls sanity has led us to the present planetary
crises, and insanity is the only viable alternative."
		-- Simon Moon, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Reality is thermoplastic, not thermosetting, you know: I mean
you can reprogram it much more than people realize."
		-- Simon Moon, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"It's all true. The land belongs to the landlords, right now,
because of magic. People worship the deeds in the government offices,
and they won't dare move onto a square of ground if one of the deeds
says someone else owns it. It's a head-trip, a kind of magic, and you
need the opposite magic to lift the curse. You need shock elements to
break up and disorganize the chains of command in the brain, the
`mind-forg'd manacles' that Blake wrote about."
		-- Simon Moon, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
"The Kennedys? Martin Luther King? You are fantastically naive still,
George. It goes back much, much farther. Look at the pictuires of
Woodrow Wilson in his last months: The haggard look, the vague eyes,
and, in fact, symptoms of a certain slow-acting and undetectable poison.
They slipped it to him at Versailles. Or look into the Lincoln caper.
Who opposed the greenback plan--the closest thing to flaxscrip America
ever had? Stanton the banker. Who ordered all the roads out of
Washington closed, except one? Stanton the banker. And Booth went
straight for that road. Who got ahold of Booth's diary afterwards?
Stanton the banker/ And turned it over to the archives with seventeen
pages missing? Stanton the banker. George, you have so much to learn
about real history...."
		-- Hagbard Celine, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	Why shouldn't people turn colors? All the trouble in the world
came from the fact that they usually stayed the same color. James nodded
profoundly. As usual, peyote had brought him a big Truth. If whites and
blacks and Indians were turning colors all the time, there wouldn't be
any hate in the world, because nobody would know which people to hate.
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy
%%
Notes found by a TWA stewardess in a seat vacated by a Mr. "John Mason"
after a Madison, Wisconsin, to Mexico City flight June 29, 1969: one
week after the last SDS convention of all time:
  "We only robbed from the banks what the banks robbed from the people"
-- Dillinger, Crown Point Jail, 1934. Could have come from any anarchist text.
  Lucifer -- bringer of light.
  Weishaupt's "illumination" & Voltaire's "enlightenment": from the
Latin "lux" meaning light.
  Christianity all in 3s (Trinity, etc.) Buddhism in 4s. Illuminism in
5s. A progression?
  Hopi teaching: All men have 4 souls now, but in future will have 5
souls. Find an anthropologist for more data on this.
  Who decided the Pentagon building should have that particular shape?
  "Kick out the Jams"??? Cross-check.
  "Adam," the first man; Weis," to know; "haupt," chief or leader. "The first
man to bne a leader of those who know." Assumed name from the beginning?
  Iok-Sotot in Pnakotic manuscripts. Cd. be Yog-Sothoth?
  D.E.A.T.H.--Don't Ever Antagonize The Horn. Does Pynchon know?
  Must get Simon to explain the Yellow Sign and the Aklo chants. Might
need protection.
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy
%%
"[The Justified Ancients of Mummu] had a good argument. `Look around,'
they'd say, `what do you see most of? Chaos, right? Therefore the god of
Chaos is the strongest god, and is still alive.'"
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy
%%
	"Both J. Edgar Hoover and Congressman Otto Passman are
	 high-ranking Masons and both, significantly, reflect this
	 philosophy and its Manichean attitude. The chief danger in
	 Masonic thinking aside from the "divine right of government"
	 is, of course, Manicheanism, the belief that your opponent
	 is opposing God's will and is therefore an agent of Satan.
	 This is the extreme application and Mr. Hoover usually 
	 reserves it for "Godless Communism" but it is almost always
	 present to some degree."
		Source: _The Nazi Religion: Views on Religious Statism
		in Germany and America_ by J. F. C. Moore, _Libertarian
		American_, Vol. III, No. 3, August 1969. Quoted in
		_Illuminatus!_
%%
"Chairman Mao didn't say half of it; it isn't only political power that
grows out of the barrel of a gun. So does a whole definition of reality.
A set. And the action that has to happen on thatr particular set and
none other ... like the Narcotics Acts. A hundred thousand harmless
junkies became criminals overnight, by Act of Congress, in nineteen
twenty-seven. Ten years later, in thirty-seven, all the pot-heads in the
country became criminals overnight, by Act of Congress. And they really
were criminals, when the papers were signed. The guns prove it. Walk
away from those guns, waving a joint, and refuse to halt when they tell
you. Their Imagination will become your Reality in a second."
		-- Hagbard Celine, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
"I worked, long ago, in New York City, in construction, like many young
men of the Mohawk Nation. I found that whites were often like us, and I
could not hate them one at a time. But... they do not speak from the
heart usually. They do not act from the heart. They are more like the
actors on the movie screen. They play roles. And their leaders are not
like our leaders. They are not chosen for virtue, but for their skill at
playing roles. Whites have told me this, in plain words. They do not
trust their leaders, and yet they follow them. When we do not trust a
leader, he is finished. Also, the leaders of the whites have too much
power. It is bad for a man to be obeyed too often."
		-- Sam Three Arrows, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
"Mystics are a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added
cynically, "which is why the church locks them all up in mental
hospitals and euphemistically calls these institutions monasteries. But
I digress."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
		 HOW MUCH IS THE DRUG?
		HOW MUCH IS OUR TRICKERY?
		  HOW MUCH IS REALITY?
%%
Chairman Mao appeared and lectured us: "Ho is just a poetaster. Now, if
you want to hear some real socialist verse, consider my latest
composition:

	There was a young lady from Queens
	Who gobbled a plateful of beans
	  The beans fermented
	  And she was tormented
	By embarassing sounds in her jeans!

Indicates the anal orientation of capitalist society," he explained,
dwindling into a pool of blood on the floor next to the kid with the
broken arm.
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
  "Do you know of any case where germs gave up and went away because the
man they were destroying had a noble character or sweet sentiments? Did
the tuberculosis baccilli leave John Keat's lungs because he had a few
hundred great poems still unwritten inside him? You must have read some
history, even if you were never at the front lines like me: do you
recall any battle that refutes Napoleon's aphorism about God always
being on the side of the biggest cannons and the best tacticians? This
bolshie in Russia, Lenin, he has ordered the schools to teach chess to
everybody. You know why? He says that chess the lessons that
revolutionaries must learn: that if you don't mobilize your forces
properly, you lose. No matter how high your morality, no matter how
lofty your goal: fight without mercy, use every ounce of intelligence,
or you lose. ... I saw a whole platoon wiped out, exterminated like an
anthill under a boot. Not because they were immoral or naughty or didn't
believe in Jesus. Because at that place, on that day, the Germans had
superior fire power. That's the law, the one true law of the universe, 
and everything that contradicts it--everything they teach in schools and
churches--is a lie."
		-- Robert Putney Drake
%%
  "My car is right here," he said, pointing to a goddam Mercedes.
  "For an anarchist, you sure live a lot like a capitalist," I commented
as we got into that beautiful machine crystallized out of stolen labor
and surplus value.
  "I'm not a masochist," Hagbard replied. "The world makes me
uncomfortable enough. I see no reason to make myself more uncomfortable.
And I'm damned if I'll drive a broken-down jalopy that spends half its
time in a garage being repaired merely because that would make me seem
more "dedicated" to you left-wing simpletons. Besides," he added
practically, "the police never stop a Mercedes and search it. How many
times a week do you get stopped and harassed, with your beard and your
psychedelic Slaveswagon, you damned moralist?"
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
  "Hagbard, " I said, "what the hell is your game?"
  "Proving that government is a hallucination in the minds of
governors," he said crisply.
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
  "Thou, Jubela, did he tell you the Word?" asked the goat-headed man.
  The gigantic black said, "I beat him and tortured him, but he would
not reveal the Word."
  "Thou, Jubelo, did he tell you the Word?"
  The fishlike creature said, "I tormented and vexed his inner spirit,
Master, but he would not reveal the Word."
  "And thou, Jubelum, did he tell you the Word?"
  The hunchbacked dwarf said, "I cut off his testicles and he was mute.
I cut off his penis and he was mute. He did not tell me the word."
  "A fanatic," the goat-head said. "It is better that he is dead."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Objectivity is presumably the opposite of schizophrenia. Which
means that it is nothing but acceptance of everybody else's notion of
reality. But nobody's perception of reality is the same as everybody's
notion of it, which means that the most objective person is the real
schizophrenic."
				-- George Dorn, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"It is hard to get beyond the accepted beliefs of one's own age.
The first man to think a new thought advances it very tentatively. New
ideas have to be around a while before anyone will promote them hard. In
their first form, they are like tiny, imperceptible mutations that may
eventually lead to new species. That's why cultural cross-fertilization
is so important. It increases the gene-pool of the imagination. The
Arabs, say, have one part of the puzzle. The Franks another. So, when
the Knights Templar meet the Hashishim, something new is born."
				-- George Dorn, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The human race has always lived more or less happily in the
kingdom of the blind. But there is an elephant among us. A one-eyed
elephant."
				-- George Dorn, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	George laughed. "Now that sounds like a gas. But it's hard to
believe that any organization with an absurd name like that could build
anything as serious as this submarine, or work for such a serious end as
foiling the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria."
	Hagbard shook his head. "What's so serious about a yellow
submarine? It's right out of a rock song. And everybody knows people who
worry about the Bavarian Illuminati are crackpots."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The individual act of obedience is the cornerstone not only of
the srtrength of authoritarian society but also of its weakness."
		-- Hagbard Celine, _Never Whistle While You're Pissing_
%%
	"The Foot Fetishist Liberation Front will be participating in
the rally at the UN building," Joe Malik said, as George and Peter and
he were affixing their black armbands.
	"Christ," Jackson said disgustedly.
	"We can't afford to take that attitude. The only hope for the
Left at this time is coalition politics. We can't exclude anybody who
wants to join us."
	"I've got nothing against faggots personally," Peter begins
("Gays," Joe says patiently). "but they are a bring-down at rallies.
They just give God's Lightning more evidence to say that we're all a
bunch of fruits. But, OK, realism is realism, there are a lot of them,
and they swell our ranks, and all that, but, Jesus, Joe. These toe
freaks are a splinter within a splinter. They're microscopic."
	"Don't call them toe freaks," Joe says. "They don't like that."
%%
	"There is but one Eye and it is all eyes; one Mind and it is all
minds; one time and it is Now."
		-- Adam Weishaupt, _Konigen, Kirchen und Dummheit_
%%
	"Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. Death is itself an
illusion."
		-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"To the creative mind there is no right or wrong. Every action
is an experiment, and every experiment yields its fruit in knowledge. To
the moralist, every action can be judged as right or wrong--and, mind
you, in advance--without knowing what its consequences are going to be--
depending upon the mental disposition of the actor. Thus the men who
burned Giordano Bruno at the stake knew that they were doing good, even
though the consequence of their actions was to deprive the world of a
great scientist."
		-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"Another suggestive letter-number transformation:
Adam Weishaupt (A.W.) is 1-23, and George Washington (G.W.) is 7-23.
Spot the hidden 17 in there? But, perhaps I grow too imaginative, even
whimsical...."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Peace symbol my ass; that's the oldest symbol of evil there is."
		-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"They can't have been so vicious if they produced that statue,"
said the Oriental woman stubbornly.
	"Could you deduce the Spanish Inquisition from a painting of the
manger at Bethlehem?" said Hagbard
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	FIVES. SEX. HERE IS WISDOM. The mumble of the breast is the
mutter of man.
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	State's Attorney Milo A. Flanagan stood on the roof of the high
rise condominium on Lake Shore Drive in which he lived, scanning
blue-gray Lake Michigan with powerful binoculars. It was April 24, and
Project Tethys should be completed. At any moment Flanagan expected to
sight what would look like another Great Lakes freighter heading for the
Chicago River locks. Only this one would be carrying a dismantled
Atlantean temple crated in its hold. The ship would be recognizable by a
red triangle painted on the funnel.
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	Flanagan looked at Waterhouse coldly and thoughtfully. "Maybe it
leaked at this end, Otto. There are JAMs active in this town, more here
than anywhere in the country right now. Dillinger has been spotted twice
in the last week. By Gruad, how I'd like to be the one to really get
him, once and for all! What would Hoover's ghost say then, huh, Otto?"
Flanagan grinned, one of his rare genuine smiles, exposing prominent
canine teeth. "We know there's a JAM cult center somewhere on the North
Side. Someone's been stealing hosts from my brother's church for the
past ten years--even at times when I've had as many as thirty men staked
out there. And my brother says that there have been more cases of
demonic possession in his parish in the last five years than in all of
Chicago in all its previous history. One of our sensitives reported
emanations of the Old Woman in this area at least once a month during
the past year. It's long past time we found them. They could be reading
our minds, Otto. That could be the leak. Why haven't we got a fix on them?"
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	Adam Weishaupt lurched over to the Black Magic and Pornography
section of his bookshelves--which he kept, sardonically, next to his
Bible commentaries--and took down the long-forbidden volume of the
visions of the mad poet Abdul Alhazred. He turned to the first drawing
of a shoggoth. Strange, he thought, how a creature so foul could also,
from certain angles and especially when you were high, look vaguely like
a crazily grinning rabbit. "Du haxen Hase," he chortled to himself....
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	Even so, the Aztecs grew more frantic toward the end, increasing
the number of sacrifices, doubling and tripling the days of the year
that called for spilled blood. But nothing saved them: just as
Eisenhower's army advanced across Europe to end the ovens of Auschwitz,
Cortez and his ships moved towards the great pyramid, the statue of
Tlaloc, the confrontation.
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Why me? The question asked by the soldier as the enemy bullets
whistle around him, by the harmless homeowner as the homicidal maniac
steps through the kitchen door hunting knife in hand, by the woman who
has given birth to a dead baby, by the prophet who has just had a
revelation of the word of God, by the artist who knows that his latest
painting is a work of genius. Why you? Because you're there, schmuck!
Because something has to happen to you. OK?"
		-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"A conspiracy with one hundred and twenty vectors doesn't look
like a conspiracy: it looks like chaos. The human mind can't grasp it,
and hence declares it nonexistent. You see, the Illuminati is always
careful to keep a random element in the one hundred and twenty vectors.
They didn't really need to recruit both the leaders of the ecology
movement and the executives of the worst pollution-producing
corporations. They did it to create ambiguity. Anybody who tries to
describe their operations sounds like a paranoid."
		-- Joe Malik, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Weishaupt discovered the Law of Fives while he was stoned and
looking at one of those shoggoth pictures you saw in Arkham. He imagined
the shoggoth was a rabbit and said, `du hexen hase,' which has been
preserved as an in-joke by Illuminati agents in Hollywood. It runs
through the Bugs Bunny cartoons: `You wascal wabbit!'"
		-- Joe Malik, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Number Seventeen," read Professor Curve, "Law and anarchists
will give the American people a speedy Cadillac."
%%
	"You can call me Doc Iggy. My full name, at present, is Dr.
Ignotum P. Ignotius. The P. stands for Per. If you're a Latinist, you'll
realize that translates as "the unknown explained by the still more
unknown." "
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	There were two very sane and rational anarchists who lived about
the same time as Emperor Norton across the country in Massachusetts:
William Green and Lysander Spooner. They also realized the value of
having competing currencies instead of one uniform State currency, and
they tried logical arguments, empirical demonstrations and legal suits
to get this idea accepted. They accomplished nothing. The government
broke its own laws to find ways to suppress Green's Mutual Bank and
Spooner's People's Bank. That's because they were obviously sane, and
their currency did pose a real threat to the monopoly of the Illuminati.
But Emperor Norton was so crazy that people humored him and his currency
was allowed to circulate. Think about it.
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	Malignowski and his students interviewed 1,700 married couples,
questioning husband and wife separately in each case, and asked 100 key
questions about their first meeting, first sexual experience, marriage
ceremony, honeymoon, economic standing during the first year of
marriage, and similar subjects which should have left permanent
impressions on the memory. Not one couple in the 1,700 gave the exact
same answers to 100 questions, and the highest single score was made by
a couple who gave the same answers to 43 of the questions.
	This study demonstrated graphically what many psychologists have
long suspected: the life-history which most of us carry around in our
skulls is more our own creation (at least sevgen percent more) than it
is an accurate recording of ideas. As Malignowski concludes, `Reality is
retroactive, retrospective and illusory.'
%%
	"That's it, isn't it?" Saul gasped. "That's their whole gimmick.
I couldn't see you without seeing a woman. I couldn't see that editor,
Jackson, without seeing a Negro. I couldn't see anybody without seeing
an attached label and classification."
	"That's how they keep us apart," Mavis said gently. "And that's
how they train us to keep our masks on. Love was the hardest bond for
them to smash, so they had to create patriarchy, male supremacy, and all
that crap--and the "masculine protest" and "penis envy" in women came in
as a result--so even lovers couldn't look at one another without seeing
a separate category."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"I've got it, I've got it!" Saul said, laughing. "I looked every
way but the right way before. _He's_ inside the Pentagon. That's why
they built it in that shape, so _he_ couldn't escape. The Aztecs, the
Nazis . . . and now us . . ."
	"Yes," Mavis said grimly. "That's why thirty thousand Americans
disappear every year, without trace, and their cases end up in the
unsolved files. _He_ has to be fed."
	"`A man, though naked, may be in rags.'" Saul quoted. "Ambrose
Bierce knew about it."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	UNHEIMLICH. Urvater, whose art's uneven, horrid be thine aim.
Harpoons in him, corpus whalem: take ye and hate.
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The more frequently one uses the word `coincidence' to explain
bizarre happenings, the more obvious it becomes that one is not seeking,
but evading, the real explanation."
		-- J. N. Marsh
%%
	"The belief in coincidence is the prevalent superstition of the
Age of Science."
		-- J. N. Marsh
%%
	Thoughtfully and quietly, Danny Pricefixer walked out on Fifth
Avenue and stood between the two guardian lions. Who was it, he
wondered, who had asked, "Since nobody wants war, why do wars keep
happening?" He looked at the killer smog around him and asked himself
another riddle, "Since nobody wants air pollution, why does air
pollution keep increasing?"
	Professor Marsh's words came back to him: "if these beings had
survived to our time, as some occultists claim...."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	WEISHAUPT. Fnords? Prfffft!
%%
	"Another interruption. This time it was the Mothers March
against Muzak. Since that seems the most worthwhile cause I've been
approached for all day, I gave the lady $1. I think that if Muzak can
be stamped out, a lot of our other ailments will disappear too, since
they're probably stress symptoms caused by noise pollution."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The gorillas themselves are too shrewd to talk to anybody but
another anarchist. They're all anarchists themselves, you know, and they
have a very healthy wariness about people in general and government
people in particular. As one of them told me once, `If it got out that
we can talk, the conservatives would exterminate most of us and make the
rest pay rent to live on our own land; and the liberals would try to
train us to be engine-lathe operators. Who the fuck wants to operate an
engine lathe?'"
		-- Hagbard Celine, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The Eristic is the opposite of the Aneristic, and, therefore,
identical with it."
		-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"The hardest thing for a man with dominance genes and piratical
heredity like me is to avoid becoming a goddam authority figure. I need
all the feedback and information I can get, but nobody contradicts an
Authority, you know. Communication is possible only between equals, and
I have to keep knocking down people's dependence on me or I'll become a
fucking Big Daddy and won't get accurate communication anymore."
		-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"Since you have been so good as to give me a warning, I will
return the favor. I do not think your interest in these people is based
on a wish to oppose them, but to serve them. I beg you to remember their
attitude towards servants."
		-- H. P. Lovecraft, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Satanists are creeps. They skin dogs alive and shit like
that."
	"Because most Satanists are Christians," said Joe.
"Which is a very masochistic religion."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"If you think Christianity is a bloody religion as it is, this
is nothing to what it would have been if Jesus hadn't seemed to come
back. If the seventeen original apostles--five of them have been purged
from the records--had been left on their own, they would have passed
from horror and terror at Jesus's death to vindictive fury. It would
have been as if Islam had come seven centuries earlier. Instead of
slowly taking over the Roman Empire and preserving much of the
Greco-Roman world intact, it would have swept and mobilized the East,
destroyed most of Western civilization and replaced it with a theocracy
more oppressive than Pharaonic Egypt."
		-- Malaclypse the Elder, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Man is a giant," Drake says, "forced to live in a pigmy's hut."
"What does that mean?" George asks. "It means we're all fools," Drake
says, "especially those who try to act like giants by bullying the others 
in the hut instead of knocking the goddam walls down."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Christ, they opened the San Andreas Fault to hide the most
important records about Norton. Sidewalks opening like mouths, 
John Barrymore falling out of bed, Will Shakespeare in his mind, my
mind, Sir Francis's mind. Roderick Usher. Starry Wisdom, they called
it.
	"I can hear it! The very sounds recorded by Poe and Lovecraft:
Tekeli-li, tekeli-li! It must be close.
	"I can see it and it can see me. In the dark. There are things
worse than death, vivisections of the spirit. I should run. Why do I sit
here? The bicycle and the tricycle. 23 skidoo. Inside the pentagon, the
cold of interstellar space. They came from the stars and brought their
images with them. Mother, I'm sorry.
	"It is like a chimney without end. Up and up forever, in deeper
and deeper darkness. And the red all-seeing eye.
	"I want to join it. I want to become it. I have no more will of
my own. I take thee, old whore Death, as my lawful wedded wife. I am
mad. I am half mad. Mother. The bottle. Linda, schlurped, sucked down.
	"Unity."
		-- the last words of Robert Putney Drake
		   from _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Fear is a funny thing. If we weren't afraid of dying of
diseases, we'd never develop the science of microbiology. That science
in turn creates the possibility of germ warfare. And each superpower is
so afraid that the others may wage germ warfare against it, each
develops its own plagues to wipe out the human race."
		-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"The fear of death is the beginning of slavery."
		-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"There followed a succession of faces Joe did not find
memorable. They all had that complex, stupid, shrewd, angry, defeated,
cynical, gullible look characteristic of Chicago, New York and other big
cities."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Speaking as a judge, I dismiss this case on several grounds.
The State is clinically insane as a corporate entity and is absolutely
unfit to arrest, try and incarcerate those who disagree with its
policies. But I doubt that this judgment, though obvious to any man of
common sense, quite fits into the rules of our American jurisprudential
game. I also rule, therefore, that the right to destroy government
property is protected by the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution
and therefore the crime with which these people are charged is not a
crime under the Constitution."
		-- Judge Caligula Bushman, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The State does not exist as a person or thing exists, but is a
legal fiction. A fiction is a form of communication. Anything said to be
owned by a form of communication must also thereby be itself a form of
communication. Government is a map and government paper is a map of the
map. The medium, in this case, is definitely the message, as any
semanticist would agree. Furthermore, any physical act directed against
a communication is itself a communication, a map of the map of the map.
Thus, destruction of government property is protected by the First
Amendment."
		-- Judge Caligula Bushman, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Remember the Alamo," Canvera had picked up from _Bowie Knife_,
a publication of the Davy Crockett Society, a paramilitary right-wing
fascist group which had splintered off God's Lightning when their
leader, a Texas oil millionaire of gigantic paranoias, became convinced
that many Mexicans were actually Red Chinese agents in slight disguise.
Later, the dogma became retroactive and he claimed that the Chinese had
always been Communists, all Mexicans had always been Chinese, and the
attack on the Alamo was the first Communist assault against American
capitalism.
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"He took the $3125 out of his savings account, buried it as
instructed, made a pro-Illuminati recording as a gesture of good faith
and waited. The next day he was shot, several times, in the head and
shoulders, dying of natural causes as a result."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Einstein's concept of spherical space, furthermore, suffers
from the  same defect as the concept of a smoothly or perfectly
spherical earth: it rests upon the use of the irrational number pi. This
number has no operational definition; there is no place on any engineer's 
scale to which one can point and say "this is exactly pi," although these 
scales are misleadingly marked with such a spot. Pi, in fact, can never
be found in the real world, and there are historical and archeological
reasons to believe it was created by a Greek mathematician under the
influence of the mind-warping hallucinogenic mushroom _Amanita muscaria_."
	-- W. Clement Cotex, "Orthodox Science: The New Religion"
%%
	"Our rifles were issued, we had our own guns
	 One was for fighting, the other for fun
	 We rose up in arms and none failed to come
	 We're Vets of the Sex Revolution!"
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The most thoroughly and relentlessly Damned, banned, excluded,
condemned, forbidden, ostracized, ignored, suppressed, repressed,
robbed, brutalized and defamed of all Damned Things is the individual
human being. The social engineers, statisticians, psychologists,
sociologists, market researchers, landlords, bureaucrats, captains of
industry, bankers, governors, commissars, kings and presidents are
perpetually forcing this Damned Thing into their carefully prepared
blueprints and perpetually irritated that the Damned Thing will not fit
into the slot assigned to it. The theologian calls it a sinner and tries
to reform it. The governor calls it a criminal and tries to punish it.
The psychotherapist calls it a neurotic and tries to cure it. Still, the
Damned Thing will not fit into their slots."
				-- _Never whistle While You're Pissing_,
				   by Hagbard Celine, H.M., S.H.
%%
	"Damn old Fred Digits, and damn the science of mathematics
itself, the line, the square, the average, the whole measurable world
that pronounced him a bizarre random factor. Once and for all, beyond
fantasy, in the depth of his soul he declared war on the statutory ape,
on law and order, on predictability, on negative entropy. He would be a
random factor in every equation; from this day forward, unto death, it 
would be civil war: the Midget versus the Digits."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"In a rigid hierarchy, nobody questions orders that seem to come
from above, and those at the very top are so isolated from the actual
work situation that they never see what is going on below. It was the
chains of communication, not the means of production, that determined a
social process; Marx had been wrong, lacking cybernetics to enlighten
him. Marx was like the engineers of his time, who thought of electricity
in terms of work done, before Marconi thought of it in terms of
information transmitted. Nothing signed "THE MGT." would ever be
challenged; the Midget could always pass himself off as the
Management."
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	George giggled. "Just as I suspected. Instead of using your
goddam prajna or whatever it is to spy on the Illuminati, you're just
another dirty old man. You use it to play Peeping Tom in other people's
heads.""
	"Heads?" Hagbard protested, laughing. "I never scan the heads.
Who the hell wants to watch people eliminating their wastes?"
	-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The pun," Hagbard replied, "is mightier than the sword. As
James Joyce once said."
	"Don't get pedantic."
	"Can I get semantic?"
	"Yes. You can get semantic. Or antic. But not pedantic."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Truth is like marijuana, my boy. A drug on the market."
				-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"If the Elder Malaclypse were here, he'd tell you a few about
some other gurus. And geniuses. Do you think Jesus never whacked off?
Shakespeare never got on a crying jag at the Mermaid Tavern? Buddha never
picked his nose? Gandhi never had the crabs?"
				-- Hagbard Celine, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"If you want to know why nothing makes sense in government
forms, remember there are two hundred thousand lawyers working for the
bureaucracy these days."
				-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"If you whistle while you're pissing, you have two minds where
one is quite sufficient. If you have two minds, you are at war with
yourself. If you are at war with yourself, it is easy for an external
force to defeat you. That is why Mong-tse wrote, "A man must destroy
himself before others can destroy him." "
				-- _Never whistle While You're Pissing_,
				   by Hagbard Celine, H.M., S.H.
%%
	"John Dillinger is alive and well today, in California, 
Fernando Poo and Texas," Mavis smiled. "As a matter of fact, he shot
John F. Kennedy."
	"Give me another toke. If I have to listen to this, I might as
well be in a state where I won't try to understand it."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Every man's penis is the prettiest thing in the world to him.
>From the day he's born until the day he dies. It never loses its endless
fascination ... it's the closest thing to a real, blind, helpless love
and religious adoration that most people achieve. But they'd rather die
than admit it."
			-- Mavis, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"In fact, several kinds of sex orgies have been going on in Las
Vegas since the Veterans of the Sexual Revolution had arrived two days
earlier. The Hugh M. Hefner Brigade had taken two stories of the Sands,
hired a herd of professional women, and hadn't yet come out to join the
Alfred Kinsey Brigade, the Norman Mailer Guerillas and the others in
marching up and down the Strip, squirting young girls in the crotch with
water pistols, passing bottles of hooch back and forth and generally
blocking traffic and annoying pedestrians."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The laws were not necessarily fascist Gestapo racist pigs
(words largely unknown in Texas), but they were people who would find it
a relief if bothersome and rebellious individualism disappeared, however
bloody the disappearance might be. If you were ornery enough, the laws
would bushwhack you -- shoot you dead from ambush, without a chance to
surrender, as they did to Miss Parker and Mr. Barrow -- but even if you
were merely a mildly larcenious hoaxter like Dr. Naismith, they would be
much cheered to put you someplace where you couldn't throw any more
entropy into the functioning of the Machine they served."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Everybody was lying to the FBI and CIA, sir. They were all
afraid of punishment for various activities forbidden by our laws. No
variation or permutation on their stories will hang together reasonably.
Each witness lied about something, and usually about several things. The
truth is other than it appeared. In short, the government, being an
agency of punishment, acted as a distorting factor from the beginning,
and I had to use information-theory equations to determine the degree of
distortion present. I would say that I finally discovered what may have
universal application: no governing body can ever obtain an accurate
account of reality from those over whom it holds power. From the
perspective of communication analysis, the government is not an
instrument of law and order, but of law and disorder. I'm sorry to have
to say this so bluntly, but it needs to be kept in mind when similar
situations arise in the future."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Why can none of our ultra-sensitives find him?" a second asked.
"Does he have no ego or soul at all?"
	"He has a vibration but it's not distinctly human. Whenever we
seem to have a fix on it, we're usually picking up a bank vault or the
safe of some paranoid millionaire," the eldest replied.
	"We have that problem with an increasing number of Americans,"
the third commented morosely. "In that nation, we have done our work too
well. The conditioning to those pieces of paper is so strong that no
other psychic impulse remains to be read."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Suppose our society crippled every infant's legs
systematically, instead of our minds? The ones who tried to get up and
walk would be called neurotics, right? And the awkwardness of their
first efforts would be published in the all psychiatric journals as
proof of the regressive and schizzy nature of their unsocial and
unnatural impulse toward walking, right?"
		-- George Dorn
%%
	"Is this contraption behind all the flying saucer reports since
1947?" I asked curiously.
	"Not quite," Hagbard laughed. "That's basically a hoax. The plan
was created in the United States government, one of the few ideas
they've had without direct Illuminati inspiration since about the middle
of Roosevelt's first term. A reserve measure, in case something happens
to Russia and China."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The State is based on threat," Stella said simply. "If people
aren't afraid on something, they'll realize that they don't need that
big government hand picking their pockets all the time. So, in case
Russia and China collapse from internal dissension, or get into a
private war and blow each other to hell, or suffer some unexpected
natural calamity like a series of earthquakes, the saucer myth has been
planted. If there are no earthly enemies to frighten the American people
with, the saucer myth will immediately change. There will be `evidence'
that they come from Mars and are planning to enslave us. Dig?"
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"I saw the fnords the same day I first heard about the plastic
martini. Let me be very clear and precise about this, since many of the
people on this trip are deliberately and perversely obscure: I would
not, could not, have seen the fnords if Hagbard Celine hadn't hypnotized
me the night before, on the flying saucer."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	Then I saw the fnords.
	The feature story involved another of the endless squabbles
between Russia and the U.S. in the UN General Assembly, and after each
direct quote from the Russian delegate I read a quite distinct "Fnord!"
The second lead was about a debate in Congress on getting the troops out
of Costa Rica; every argument presented by Senator Bacon was followed by
another "Fnord!"At the bottom of the page was a _Times_ depth-type study
of the growing pollution problem and the increasing use of gas masks
among New Yorkers; the most distressing chemical facts were interpolated
with more "Fnords."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"It's time you took those pictures of the Rolling Stones off your wall.
This is the age of constantly accelerating change, and a man who displays old
pictures of the Stones is liable to be labeled a reactionary."
		-- Peter Jackson, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	" "The Sexual Revolution in America was as much a fraud as the
Political Revolutions in China and Russia," Atlanta had written with her
usual exuberant capitalization; she was, in a way, quite right. People
today were still wrapped in a cellophane of false ego, and even if
they fucked and had orgasms together the cellophane was still there and
no real contact had been made."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"I've seen the fnords, he thought; now I'm going to see more."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
		FREEDOM DEFINED IS FREEDOM DENIED
%%
	"You think I hate walls? I love walls. I love any kind of wall.
Anything that separates. Walls protect good people. Walls lock away the
evil. There must always be walls and the love of walls, and in the
destruction of the great Pentagon that held Yog Sothoth I read the
destruction of all that I stand for. Therefore I am stricken with regret."
		-- Gruad of Atlantis, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"It doesn't matter what happens after that," said FUCKUP. "If the
situation develops as I project, the Eschaton will have been immanentized.
For the Illuminati, that will mean the fulfillment of the project that has
been their goal since the days of Gruad. A total victory. They will all
simultaneously achieve transcendental illumination. For the human race,
on the other hand, that will be extinction. The end."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The Starry Wisdom Church was not 00005's idea of a proper
ecclesiastical shop by any means. The architecture was a shade too
Gothic, the designs on the stained-glass windows a bit unpleasantly 
suggestive for a holy atmosphere ("My God, they must be bloody wogs,"
he thought), and when he opened the door, the altar was lacking a proper
crucifix. In fact, where the crucifix should have been he found instead
a design that was more than suggestive. It was, in his opinion, downright
tasteless.
	Not High Church at all, Chips decided."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"He approached the altar, refusing to look at the abominable
design above it. Rust--now what would one say of brutes who let their
altar get rusty? He scraped with this thumbnail. The altar was marble,
and marble doesn't rust. A decidedly unpleasant suspicion crossed his
mind, and he tasted what his nail had lifted. Blood. Fairly fresh blood.
	Not High Church at all."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The shoggoth came by again (or was it his twin brother?) and shouted,
or should I say, gibbered, "Yog Sothoth Neblod Zin," and I could tell that
was something perfectly filthy by the tone of his voice."
		-- Fission Chips, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"This is the turning point in history," the old man said. "All
the forces of Evil, dispersed and often in conflict before, have been 
brought together under one sign, the eye in the pyramid. All the forces 
of Good have been gathered, also, under the sign of the apple."
	"I see," 00005 nodded. "And you want to enlist me on the side
of Good?"
	"Not at all," the old man cried, bouncing up and down in his 
seat with laughter. "I want to invite you to stay here with us while the
damned fools fight it out aboveground."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"How do you suppose I have lived to this advanced age? By running
off to join in every idiotic bar-room brawl, world war, or Armageddon
that comes along? Do you want me to tell you the secret of longevity, 
lad--my secret? I have lived so outrageously long because I don't give
a fuck for Good and Evil."
		-- the Dealy Lama, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The thought of a unicorn is a real thought, then, to be brief.
So is the thought of the Redeemer on the Cross, the Cow who Jumped Over
the Moon, the lost continent of Mu, the Gross National Product, the
Square Root of Minus One, and anything else capable of mobilizing
emotional energy. And so, in a sense, Eris and the other Olympians were,
and are, real. At the same time, in another sense, there is only one
true God and your redeemer in His only begotten son; and the lloigor,
like Tsathoggua, are real enough to reach out and draw you into their
world, which is on the other side of Nightmare."
				-- the Dealy Lama
%%
	"You haven't got a bad punch for an intellectual," Coin said
with warm regard.
	"You're pretty good at rape yourself," George replied, "for the
world's most incompetent assassin."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"The next day, (Hagbard Celine) had burned his naturalization papers
and put the ashes in an envelope addressed to the President of the United
States, with a brief note: "Everything relevant is ruled irrelevant.
Everything material is ruled immaterial. An ex-citizen." The ashes of his
Army Reserve discharge went to the Secretary of Defense with a briefer note:
"Non serviam. An ex-slave." That year's income tax form went to the Secretary
of the Treasury, after he wiped his ass on it; the note said: "Try robbing a
poor box. Der Einziege." His fury still mounting, he grabbed his copy of
Das Kapital off the bookshelf, smiling bitterly at the memory of his
sarcastic marginal notes, scrawled "Without private property there is no
private life" on the flyleaf, and mailed it to Josef Stalin in the Kremlin.
Then he buzzed his secretary, gave her three months of pay in lieu of notice
of dismissal and walked out of his law office forever. He had declared war on
all governments of the world."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Every citizen in every authoritarian society already has such a
`radio' built into his or her brain. The radio is the little voice that asks,
each time a desire is formed, "Is it safe? Will my wife (my husband/my boss/my
church/my community) approve? Will people ridicule and mock me? Will the
police come and arrest me?" This little voice the Freudians call "The Super-
ego," which Freud himself vividly characterized as "the ego's harsh master." 
With a more functional approach, Perls, Hefferline and Goodman, in _Gestalt
Therapy_, describe this process as "a set of conditioned verbal habits." "
		-- Hagbard Celine, _Never Whistle While You're Pissing_
%%
	"But a man with a gun is told only that which people assume will not
provoke him to pull the trigger. Since all authority and government are based
on force, the master class, with its burden of omniscience, faces the servile
class, with its burden of nescience, precisely as a highwayman faces his 
victim. _Communication is possible only between equals._ The master class
never abstracts enough information from the servile class to know what is
actually going on in the world where the actual productivity of society
occurs. Furthermore, the logogram of any authoritarian society remains fairly
inflexible as time passes, but everything else in the universe constantly
changes. The result can only be progressive disorientation among the rulers.
The end is debacle."
		-- Hagbard Celine, _Never Whistle While You're Pissing_
%%
	"The schizophrenia of authoritarianism exists both in the individual
and in the whole society.
	I call this the Snafu Principle."
		-- Hagbard Celine, _Never Whistle While You're Pissing_
%%
	"Communication is possible only between equals."
				-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"Reincarnation works backward in time. You always get reborn into an
earlier historical period. Mussolini is a witch in the 14th century now, and
catching hell from the Inquisitors for his bum karma in this age. People who
`remember' the past are all deluded. The only ones who remember past 
incarnations remember the future, and they become science-fiction writers."
				-- Hagbard Celine
%%
	"Only a small part of the crew are former criminals," Stella told
George. "Rehabilitating a Harry Coin--pardon me, Harry--doesn't really
excite Hagbard much. Rehabilitating policemen and politicians, and teaching
them useful trades, is work that really turns Hagbard on."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Surrounded by Moslem maniacs on one side and Christian maniacs
on the other, the wise Lord Hassan preserved his people and his cult by
bringing the art of assassination to esthetic perfection. With just a 
few daggers strategically placed in exactly the right throats, he found
Wisdom's alternative to war, and preserved the peoples by killing their
leaders. Truly, his was a most exemplary life of grandmotherly kindness."
			-- Adam Weishaupt,
			   _Uber Strip Schnipp-Schnapp,
			    Weltspielen and Funfwissenschaft_
%%
	"Hate, like molten lead, drips from the wounded sky . . . they 
call it air pollution . . . August Personage dials slowly, with the
cunt-starved eyes of a medieval saint . . . "God lies!" Weishaupt cried
in the middle of his first trip, "God is Hate!" . . . Harry Coin is
crumpled in his chair . . . George's head hangs at an angle, like a doll
with a broken spring . . . Stella doesn't move . . . They are not dead
but stoned . . ."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Hagbard and FUCKUP have classified 64,000 personality types,
depending on which gambits they usde most often in relating to others.
For instance, right now you can intersect my life line in a number of ways,
from kissing my hand to slitting my throat. Between those extremes, you can,
let's say, carry on an intellectual conversation with sexual flirtation 
underneath it, or an intellectual conversation with sexual flirtation and also
with kinesic signals indicating that the flirtation is only a game and you
don't really want me to respond, and on an even deeper level you can be 
sending other signals indicating that actually you do want me to respond
after all but you're not ready to admit it to yourself. In authoritarian
society, people are usually sending either very simple dominance signals --
`I'm going to master you, and you'd better accept it before I get really 
nasty' -- or submissive signals -- `You're going to master me, and I'm
reconciled to it.' "
		-- Stella Maris, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"People exist on a spectrum from the most redundant to the most
flexible. The latter, unless they are thoroughly trained in
psychodynamics, are always at a disadvantage to the former in social
interactions. The redundant do not change their script; the flexible
constantly keep changing, trying to find a way tof relating
constructively. Eventually, the flexible ones find the "proper" gambit,
and communication, of a sort, is possible. They are now on the set
created by the redundant person, and they act out his or her script.
	"The steady exponential growth of bureaucracy is not due to
Parkinson's Law alone. The State, by making itself ever more redundant,
incorporates more people into its set and forces them to follow its
script."
		-- Hagbard Celine, _Never Whistle While You're Pissing_
%%
	Mama Sutra went on, "They are intolerably hideous in these
manifestations. They were the source of the worst terrors experienced by
the first humans. Our DNA code still carries an aversion and terror
toward them, and this activates a part of our minds which Jung called
the Collective Unconscious. That is where all myth and art come from.
Everything frightening, loathsome and terrible -- in the folklore, in
the paintings and statues, in the legends and epics of every people on
earth -- contains a partial image of a manifestation of the lloigor."
	"And they've been at war with us through all history?" Danny
asked unhappily.
	"Not at all. Are the stockyards at war with the cattle? It's
nothing like war at all," Mama Sutra said simply. "It's just that they
own us."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"Without guilt, there can be no civilization."
				-- Atlanta Hope
%%
	"Factory smog is a symbol of progress, of the divine fire of
industry, of the flaming deity of Heracleitus."
				-- Atlanta Hope, _Telemachus Sneezed_
%%
	"The most important truths always appear first as blasphemies or
obscenities. That's why every great innovator is persecuted. And the
sacraments look obscene, too, to an outsider. The eucharist is just
sublimated cannibalism, to the unawakened. When the Pope kisses the feet
of the laity, he looks like an old toe-queen to some people. The rites
of Pan look like a suburban orgy."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	In a previous incarnation, Harry saw himself as a centurion,
Semper Cuni Linctus, driving the nails into the cross. "Look," he said
to Jesus, "nothing personal. I'm only following orders." "So am I,"
Jesus said, "My Father's orders. Aren't we all?"
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"I say I was half addicted since then, because two of me
believe, as a loyal government employee, that the old government
publications claiming marijuana is addicting must be true or the
government wouldn't have printed them. Fortunately, the other two of me
know that it isn't addicting, so I don't go through very bad withdrawal
when it is scarce."
			-- Tobias Knight, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
	(The Goose in the Bottle) was a simple riddle used by Zen
Masters in the training of monks. You take a newborn gosling and slip it 
through the neck of the bottle. Month after month you keep it in there and 
feed it, until it is a full-grown goose and can no longer be passed through 
the bottle's neck. The question is: Without breaking the bottle, how do you 
get the goose out?
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "I don't trust Drake." said Brother Marcus Marconi.
    "Of course," said Brother Gracchus Gruad. "But he has builded his house
by the sea."
    "And he who builds by the sea, builds on sand," said Brother Otto Ogatai.
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
	"If all are One," the fifth Illuminatus added significantly,
"all violence is masochism."
	"If all are One," Brother Otto replied nastily, "all sex is
masturbation. Let's have no more mehum metaphysics here."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
        "George!" Joe called again. George looked up, and Joe was
astonished. He had never seen George like this before. George shook
his shoulder-length blond hair to clear it away from his face, and Joe
looked deep into his eyes. They were strange eyes, eyes without fear or
pity or guilt, eyes that acknowledged that the natural state of man was
one of perpetual surprise, and therefore could not be greatly surprised
by any one thing, even the unexpected appearance of Joe Malik. What has
Celine done to him in the past seven days? Joe wondered. Has he
destroyed his mind or has he--illuminated him?
        Actually, it was George's tenth stein of beer that day, and he
was very, very drunk.
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "My basic finding is that life energy pervades the entire universe, just
as light and gravity do. Therefore, all life is one, just as all light is one.
All energies are broadcast from a central source, yet to be found. If four
amino acids -- adenine, cytosine, guanine and thymine -- suddenly become life
then all chemicals are potentially alive. You and me and the fish and bugs
are . . . DNA life. What we call dead matter is another kind of life: non-DNA
life. If awareness is life and if life is one, then the awareness of the
individual is just one of the universe's sensory organs. The universe produces
beings like us in order to perceive itself. You might think of it as a giant,
self-contained eye."
                                        -- James Cash Cartwright
%%
    "Now wait a minute," said Joe. "Automobiles run on mechanical energy, heat
energy and electrical energy, but that doesn't mean that all the automobiles 
in the world are in contact with each other."
    "What burns?" said Cartwright, smiling.
    "You mean in a car? Well, the gas ignites explosively in the cylinder--"
    "Only organic matter burns," said Cartwright smugly. "And all organic 
matter is descended from a single cell. All fire is one. And all automobiles
do communicate with each other. You can't tell me anything about gas or oil.
Or cars. I'm a Texan. Did I tell you that?"
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "When I figured out how you get the goose out of the bottle in the Zen 
riddle -- you do nothing and wait for the goose to peck its way out, just like
a chick pecks its way out of an egg -- I realized `Do what thou wilt' becomes
`the whole of the law' by a mathematical process. The equation balances when
you realize that the `thou' is, as distinguished from the ordinary `you.'
The whole fucking works, the universe -- all of it alive in the same way we're
alive and mechanical in the same way we're mechanical."
                                -- Joe Malik, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
        They nailed Love
        to a Cross
        Symbolic of their
        Might
        But Love was
        undefeated
        It simply didn't
        fight.
                        -- Mordecai Malignatus, _Liber 555_
%%
    Five stoned men were in a courtyard when an elephant entered.
    The first man was stoned on sleep, and he saw not the elephant but
dreamed instead of things unreal to those awake.
    The second man was stoned on nicotine, caffeine, DDT, carbohydrate excess,
protein deficiency, and the other chemicals in the diet which the Illuminati
have forced upon the half-awake to keep them from fully waking. "Hey," he said,
"there's a big, smelly beast in our courtyard."
    The third stoned man was on grass, and he said, "No, dads, that's the 
Ghostly Old Party in its true nature, the Dark Nix on the Soul," and he giggled
in a silly way.
    The fourth stoned man was tripping on peyote, and he said, "You see not the
mystery, for the elephant is a poem written in tons rather than words," and his
eyes danced.
    The fifth stoned man was on acid, and he said nothing, merely worshipping
the elephant in silence as the Father of Buddha.
    And then the Hierophant entered and drove a nail of mystery into all their
hearts, saying, "You are all elephants!"
    Nobody understood him.
                        -- Mordecai Malignatus, _Liber 555_
%%
    Harry looked all around, slowly and thoughtfully, then shook his head.
"You know, there's times when I start to think you're doing this."
    "What do you mean, Harry?" asked Mavis.
    "You know"--Harry waved a long, snakelike hand--"doing this, like a
science-fiction movie. You've got us in an abandoned hotel somewheres, and
you've got a big engine in the basement that shakes the whole place, and here
you've got some movie cameras, only they point at the screen instead of away
from you, if you know what I mean."
    "Rear projection," said Hagbard. "Tell me, Harry, what difference would it
make if it wasn't real?"
    Harry thought for a moment, his chinless face sour. "We wouldn't have to
do what we think we have to do. But even if we don't have to do what we think
we have to do, it won't make any difference if we do it. Which means we should
just go ahead."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    (Harry said) "We should just go ahead."
    "Just go ahead," said Hagbard. "A powerful mantra."
    "And if we don't go ahead," said George, "it doesn't matter either. Which
means that we just do go ahead."
    "Another powerful mantra," said Hagbard. "Just do go ahead."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "Hagbard," George protested disgustedly. "Are you telling me Eris is real?
Really real and not just an allegory or symbol? I can't buy that any more than
I can believe Jehovah or Osiris is really real."
    But Hagbard answered very solemnly, "When you're dealing with these forces
or powers in a philosophic and scientific way, contemplating them from an
armchair, that rationalistic approach is useful. It is quite profitable then to
regard the gods and goddesses and demons as prohjections of the human mind or
as unconscious aspects of ourselves. But every truth is a truth only for one
place and one time, and that's a truth, as I said, for the armchair. When 
you're actually dealing with these figures, the only safe, pragmatic and
operational approach is to treat them as having a being, a will, and a purpose
entirely apart from the humans who evoke them. If the Sorcerer's Apprentice had
understood that, he wouldn't have gotten into so much trouble."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    (Frank Sullivan, capitalizing on his only real asset, was operating in
Havana as a Cuban Superman, using the name Papa Piaba, when the Brotherhood
spotted his resemblance to John Dillinger. "Gosh," he said when they made their
offer, "five thousand dollars just to take two ladies to a movie one night?
And it's only a practical joke, you say?" "It will be a very funny joke,"
Jacaipo Mocenigo promised him. And the Smithsonian acquired Mr. Sullivan's
asset as one of their most interesting relics.)
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "Good and evil are two ends of the same street. But the street was built 
by the Illuminati."
                        -- Malaclypse the Elder, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "As the Beatles had, for a time, epitomized the new freedom of the '60s,
so the AMA seemed to epitomize the repressive spirit of the '70s. The secret of
their popularity was that they were so appalling. They reminded their fans of
all the evils that were being daily visited upon them, and thus hearing and
seeing them was like scratching a very bad itch. They suggested that perhaps 
youth had captured its oppressors or identified with them, and they momentarily
turned the pain of the whole scene into pleasure. To learn how to enjoy 
suffering, since suffering was their lot, kids by the millions flocked to hear
the AMA."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
                   DEFINITIONS AND DISTINCTIONS

  FREE MARKET: That condition of society in which all economic transactions
result from voluntary choice, without coercion.
  THE STATE: That institution which interferes with the Free Market through the
direct exercise of coercion and the granting of privileges (backed by coercion).
                        -- Hagbard Celine, _Never Whistle While You're Pissing_
%%
                   DEFINITIONS AND DISTINCTIONS

  TAX: That form of coercion or interference with the Free Market in which the
State collects tribute (the tax), allowing it to hire armed forces to practice
coercion in the defense of privilege, and also to engage in such wars, 
adventures, experiments, "reforms," etc., as it pleases, not at its own cost,
but at the cost of its subjects.
  PRIVILEGE: From the Latin privi, private, and lege, law. An advantage granted
by the State and protected by its powers of coercion. A law for private benefit.
  USURY: That form of privilege or interference with the Free Market in which
one State-supported group monopolizes the coinage and thereby takes tribute 
(interest), direct or indirect, on all or most economic transactions.
  LANDLORDISM: That form of privilege or interference with the Free Market in 
which one State-supported group "owns" the land and thereby takes tribute 
(rent) from those who live, work, or produce on the land.
  TARIFF: That form of privilege or interference with the Free Market in which
commodities produced outside the State are not allowed to compte equally with
those produced inside the State.
                        -- Hagbard Celine, _Never Whistle While You're Pissing_
%%
                   DEFINITIONS AND DISTINCTIONS

  CAPITALISM: That organization of society, incorporating elements of tax, 
usury, landlordism, and tarriff, which thus denies the Free Market while
pretending to exemplify it.
  CONSERVATISM: That school of capitalist philosophy which claims allegiance to
the Free Market while actually supporting usury, landlordism, tariff and 
sometimes taxation.
  LIBERALISM: That school of capitalist philosophy which attempts to correct
the injustices of capitalism by adding new laws to the existing laws. Each
time conservatives pass a law creating privilege, liberals pass another law
modifying privilege, leading conservatives to pass a more subtle law recreating
privilege, etc., until "everything not forbidden is compulsory" and "everything
not compulsory is forbidden."
  SOCIALISM: The attempted abolition of all privilege by restoring power
entirely to the coercive agent behind privilege, the State, thereby converting
capitalist oligarchy into Statist monopoly. Whitewashing a wall by painting it
black.
                        -- Hagbard Celine, _Never Whistle While You're Pissing_
%%
                   DEFINITIONS AND DISTINCTIONS

  ANARCHISM: That organization of society in which the Free Market operates 
freely, without taxes, usury, landlordism, tariffs, or other forms of coercion
or privilege. RIGHT ANARCHISTS predict that in the Free Market people would
voluntarily choose to compete more than cooperate. LEFT ANARCHISTS predict that
in the Free Market people would voluntarily choose to cooperate more often than
compete.
                        -- Hagbard Celine, _Never Whistle While You're Pissing_
%%
    "There isn't that much difference between a cop and a crook, 
psychologically speaking,"
                        -- John Dillinger, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "I used to be a cop," Danny said with an engaging imitation of frankness.
"But that was years ago, and the work really didn't appeal to me. I'm a 
salesman for Britannica now. Better hours, and people only slam doors in my
face--they don't shoot at me through them."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "Dad!" Simon cried, weeping happily. "Tell me the Word. You must know now.
What is the Word?"
    "Kether." said Tim Moon blissfully.
    "Kether? That's all? Just Cabalism?" Simon shook his head. "It can't be
that simple."
    "Kether," Tim Moon repeats firmly. "Right here in the middle of Malkuth.
As above, so below."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "That's a funny thing for Toad of Toad Hall to say," muttered Fission Chips
to nobody in particular. But the voice came booming back MY NAME IS HAGBARD CE-
LINE. PLEASE DON'T PANIC WHEN YOU HEAR WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY TO YOU and Chips
saw that it wasn't Toad of Toad Hall or even the sinister Saint Toad but just
a well-dressed wop with two faces, one smiling and one frowning in wrath.
"You know," 0005 said aloud, "I do believe there was a fucking drug in that
water."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "How many do you think there are?" the leader of the Closed Corporation
asked dreamily.
    "Six hundred and sixty-six," one of his group answered. "When you sacrifice
a rooster in a pentagram on Walpurgis Night, you always get six sixty-six."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "Don't play games with yourself, George. You know perfectly well that
a moment ago I was Mavis."
    "It's the acid," said George.
    "The acid only opens your eyes, George. It doesn't work miracles," said
Miss Mao.
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "The acid only opens your eyes, George. It doesn't work miracles."
                        -- Mao Tsu-Hsi, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "I see the throne of the world. One single chair twenty-three feet off the
ground, studded with seventeen rubies, and brooding over it the serpent
swallowing its tail, the Rosy Cross and the Eye. I see that throne and know
that I alone am to ascend it and occupy it forever."
                        -- Winifred Saure, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "I took no notice. The geometries ceased to bind me. I came forth. I
ate souls. Fresh souls, not the miserable plasma you have fed me all these 
years."
                        -- Yog-Sothoth, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
    He stood up and waded ashore. And came face to face with John Dillinger.
    "Sorry, pal," said John, and squeezed the trigger of his Thompson
submachine gun. Thirty silver bullets struck Wolfgang with the impact of
clubs and threw him back into the water. All feeling was gone from his body
and he felt the foul tentacles closing around his mind and the murmuring,
horrible laughter grew to a soundless roar, and the syrupy voice spoke to his
mind: /Welcome to the place prepared for you from everlasting to everlasting.
Now truly you will never die./ And the mind of Wolfgang Saure, imprisoned like
a living fly in amber, knowing that it must remain so for billions upon 
billions of years, screamed and screamed and screamed.
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    Dawn was breaking; the Nine Unknown Men, most mysterious of all rock 
groups, ceremonially donned their football helmets and faced the East to chant:

            There is only ONE God:
            He is the SUN God:
            Ra!   Ra!   Ra!
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "The ordinary man and woman never commits a crime because they have the
same exaggerated idea of our omnipotence."
                                -- Saul Goodman, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "Somebody stole a month from me," Chips agreed pleasantly. "A cynical old
swine named the Dealy Lama. Or another feller named Toad. Bad lot. Shouldn't
go around stealing months."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "We had a few plainclothes agents there, and they could tell me nothing.
All but one had unknowingly taken the LSD, and the one who didn't must have
been halucinating too, from some kind of psychological contagion. He saw the
Nazis, a glowing woman a hundred feet tall, a bridge across the lake. Sheer
garbage."
                        -- Hauptmann, in _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "Are you turning Red?"
    "I see no profit there. The State of Massachusets killed two innocent men
today for holding opinions of that sort."
    "Innocent my Aunt Fanny. Robert, I know the judge personally--"
    "And he believes what the friend of a banker should believe."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    It was nearly a year leter when the really bad news from the private 
investigators arrived.
    "How much will the girl take to keep her mouth shut?" old Drake asked 
immediately.
    "After we pay hospital expenses, maybe a thousand more," the man from
Pinkerton's said.
    "Offer her five hundred," the old man replied. "Go up to a thousand only
if you have to."
    "I said maybe a thousand," the detective said bluntly. "He used a special
kind of whip, one with twisted nails in the ends. She might want two or three
thou."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    The old man fumed all the way to the bank. That evening he decided it was
time for another open and honest discussion; when he went to Robert's room,
however, he found the boy thoroughly trussed up in chains and quite purple in
the face.
    "God! Damn! Son! What is this?"
    The boy--who was twenty-seven and, in some respects, more sophisticated
than his father--grinned and relaxed. The purple faded from his face. "One of
Houdini's escapes," he explained simply.
    "You intend to become a stage magician? My God!"
    "Not at all. I'm breaking out of another trap--the one that says nobody 
but Houdini can do these things."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "I begin to see," Old Drake said heavily. "Pain is a trap. That was why
you put the broken glass in your shoes that time. Fear of poverty is a trap.
That's why you tried begging on the streets. You're trying to become a 
Superman, like those crazy boys in Chicago, the `thrill killers.' What you
did to that whore last year was part of all this. What else have you done?"
    "A lot." Robert shrugged. "Enough to be canonized as a saint, or to be
burnt as a diabolist. None of it seems to add up, though. I still haven't 
found the way." He suddenly made a new effort, and the chains slipped to the
floor. "Simple yoga and muscle control," he said without pride. "The chains
in the mind are much harder."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "The only way to conquer Death--until science produces an immortality 
pill--is to make him your servant, your company cop. The bartender never
becomes an alcoholic, and the high priest laughs at the gods."
                                -- Robert Putney Drake
%%
    "What do you hate most?" Mama Sutra asked abruptly.
    "Sentimental slop and lies." Drake said. "All the Christian lies in Sunday
school, all the democratic lies in the newspapers, all the socialist lies our
so-called intellectuals are spouting these days. Every rotten, crooked, 
sneaking, hypocritical deception people use to hide from themselves that we're
all still hunting animals in a jungle."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "The truth is that it doesn't matter whether I destroy myself alone or
destroy this planet--or turn around and try to find my way to the right-hand
path in some dreary monastery. The universe will roll blindly along, not 
caring, not even knowing. There's no Granddaddy in the clouds to pass a last
judgment--there's only a few airplanes up there, learning more and more about
how to carry bombs."
                                -- Robert Putney Drake
%%
    "Don't tell me that my flight from Death leads back to Death; I'm not a
child, and I know that all paths lead back to Death eventually. The only
question is: Do you cower before him all your life or do you spit in his eye?"
                                -- Robert Putney Drake
%%
    "Yes, and I can learn to see the great and glorious Whole Picture. I can
see all the men defacating and urinating in their trousers before they died at 
Chateau-Thierry, watching their own guts fall out into their laps and 
screaming out of a hole that isn't even a mouth any more, as manifestations of
that sublime harmony and balance which is ineffable and holy and beyond all
speech and reason. Sure I can see that, if I knock half of my brain out of
commission and hypnotize myself into thinking that the view from that weird
perspective is deeper and wider and more truly true than the view from an
unclouded mind. Go to the quadruple-amputee ward and try to tell them that."
                                -- Robert Putney Drake
%%
    "Love is a myth invented by poets and other people who couldn't face the 
world and crept off into corners to create fantasies to console themselves.
The fact is that when you meet another entity, either it makes way for you
or you make way for it. Either it dominates and you submit or you dominate
and it submits."
                                -- Robert Putney Drake
%%
    "Take me into any club in Boston and I'll tell you which millionaire has
the most millions, by tghe way the others treat him. Take me into any
workingman's bar and I'll tell you who has the best punch in a fistfight, by
the way the others treat him. Take me into any house and I'll tell you in a
minute whether the husband or the wife is dominant. Love? Equality? 
Reconciliation? Acceptance? Those are the excuses of the losers, to persuade
themselves that they choose their condition and weren't beaten down into it."
                                -- Robert Putney Drake
%%
    "Love of country? Another lie; the truth is fear of cops and prisons.
Love of art; Another lie; the truth is fear of the naked truth without 
ornaments and false faces on it. Love of truth itself? The biggest lie of all;
fear of the unknown. People learn acceptance of all this and achieve wisdom?
They surrender to supperior force and call their cowardice maturity.
It still comes down to one question: Are you kneeling at the altar, or are
you on the altar watching the others kneel to you?"
                                -- Robert Putney Drake
%%
    "I aim at evil and I will achieve evil. The Wheel and all its harmonious
balances and all-healing paradoxes is just another myth of the weak and
defeated. One strong man can stop the Wheel or tear it to shreds if he dares
enough."
                                -- Robert Putney Drake
%%
    "The basic law of magic ... (is) ... `as ye give, so shall ye get.'
Mind you, Joe, that's a scientific law, not a moral commandment. There are no
commandments, because theire is no commander anywhere. All authority is a
delusion, whether in theology or in sociology. The first law of magic is as
neutral as Newton's first law of motion. It says that the equation balances,
and that's all it says. You are still free to give evil and pain, if you decide
you must. Once done, however, you never escape the consequences. It always
comes back. No prayers, sacrifices, mortifications or supplications will change
it, any more than they'll change Newton's laws or Einstein's. So we're 'good',
as moralists would say, because we know enough to have a bloody strong reason
to be good."
                                -- Hagbard Celine
%%
    "Everybody's free. The slave is free. The ultimate weapon isn't the plague
out in Vegas, or any new super H-bomb. The ultimate weapon has always existed.
Every man, every woman and every child owns it. It's the ability to say No and
take the consequences. `Fear is failure.' `The fear of death is the beginning
of slavery.' `Thou hath no right but to do thy will.' The goose can break out
of the bottle any second. Socrates took the hemlock to prove it. Jesus went to
the cross to prove it. It's in all history, all myth, all poetry. It's right
out in the open all the time."
                                -- Hagbard Celine
%%
    "Look at the shadow my hand casts on this book. The sun, source of all
light and energy, symbol of redemption. And my hand, in the most sacred 
gesture of benediction. Put them both together and they spell Satan."
                                -- Hagbard Celine
%%
    "Then what is real?" George demanded. "Mary, Queen of the May, or Kali,
Mother of Murderers, or Eris, who synthesizes both?"
    "The trip is real," Hagbard said. "The images you encounter along the
way are all unreal. If you keep moving and pass them, you eventually discover
that."
    "Solipsism. Sophomore solipsism," Joe answered.
    "No." Hagbard grinned. "The solipsist thinks the tripper is real.
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    But, George interrupted, is he really in the heroin business? That's 
dirty.
    You sound like a moralist too, she said. It's part of his Demonstration.
Any government could put him out of business within their borders--as England
had done--by legalizing junk. As long as they refuse to do that, there's a
black market. He won't let the Mafia monopolize it--he makes sure the black
market remains a free market. If it wasn't for him, a lot of junkies who are
alive today would be dead of contaminated heroin."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "Some of what you're doing seems scientific," she told him after five days,
"but some is plain damnfoolishness."
    "If the science fails," he replied, "the damnfoolishness may work."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    She was bathing in the rockpool when he appeared, the blood of slain deer
and rabbits on his robe-- She spoke the word and Hagbard was stricken-- as
he fell forward his hands became hooves, antlers sprouted from his head --His
own dogs could eat him, she didn't care, the hemp smell in the room was gagging
her, the tom-tom beat was maddening. She was rising out of the waves, proud of
her nudity, riding on the come-colored pearls of foam. He was carrying her back
to her bed, murmuring, "My Lady, my Lady." She was the Hag, wandering the long
Nile, weeping, seeking the fragments of his lost body as they passed the closet
and the window; he placed her head gently on the pillow. "We almost made it,"
he said. "Tomorrow night, maybe . . ."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "You're a madman," she replied wearily. "And you're leading me into your
own mad universe. I don't know why I still love you."
    "We love him too," Sade interjected helpfully. "And we don't know why 
either. We don't even have sex as an excuse."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    Joe Malik suddenly began laughing. "I've got it," he cried, "I've got it!"
    "What have you got?" Hagbard asked tensely, concerned with Leviathan.
    "We're in a book."
    "What do you mean?"
    "Come off it, Hagbard. You can't kid me, and you certainly wont fool the
reader at this point. He knows damn well we're in a book. That's why Miss 
Portinari's explanation of the Tarot deck just slipped by with a half-hour
seeming to vanish. The author didn't want to break the narrative there."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "We're facing a crisis and everybody's talking philosophy," Dillinger
cried out. "This is a time for action."
    "Maybe," Hagbard said thoughtfully, "all of our problems come from acting,
and not philosophizing, when we face a crisis. Joe is right. I'm going to think
about this for a few hours. Or years."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "In the beginning was the Word, and the word was the first person 
singular."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    George frowned. "And what was your Demonstration again? And who were you
making your Demonstration for?"
    "For the Masters of the Temple in the real Order of the Illuminati, in
general; for an old cynic in Dallas, in particular. I was trying to show them
that it's possible to get involved in this world without getting corrupted by
the crimes of this world. And I failed. One by one, I resorted to all the vices
of governors: deception, carnival magic to impress the gullible, and finally,
outright murder. Once again, the cynics have been proven right. Trying to save
the world, I just ended up getting my own mind and karma deflected by the
buzzing and shrieking and whistling things in the Region of Thud."
		-- Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson, _Illuminatus!_
%%
    "Life on earth remains a tragedy as long as it ends with the death trip.
My next projects are a starship to find some sane minds in this galaxy, and an
immortality pill to end the death trip. Until somebody achieves these goals,
life on this planet has failed."
                                -- Hagbard Celine
%%
    And to this day, the proverb is still repeated from the Danube
    to the Rhine: "It is dangerous to talk too much about the Illuminati."
                                -- Von Juntz, _Unaussprechlichen Kulten_
%%
    "Theoretically, an Age of Bureaucracy can last until a paper shortage
     develops, but, in practice, it never lasts longer than 73 permutations."
                                -- Weishaupt, _Konigen, Kirchen und Dummheit_
%%
    "Truth is a tiger."
                                -- Hagbard Celine
%%