Quotes from alt.fan.disney.afternoon
%%
Gruffi:  "The ancient Gummies left us everything we'll ever need!"
			* SPLASH *
Gusto:  "Um...  did the ancient Gummies also happen to leave a towel?"
					-- "Bridge On The River Gummi"
%%
Gusto:  "What should I do with my life, Cav... plumbing?  Shoe repair?"
					-- "Color Me Gummi"
%%
Gusto:  "What in the name of fur...?"
					-- "Color Me Gummi"
%%
Gusto:  "Hey, Toader!  Like to go for a little spin?"
					-- "Water Way To Go"
%%
Toadie:  "But Dukums, fearless captain must go down with ship!"
Igthorn:  "Congratulations, Toadwart, *you* are now captain!"
					-- "Gummi's At Sea"
%%
Gusto:  "Better put on the brakes, Tummi!"
Tummi:  "Brakes?...  Uh-oh..."
					-- "Day Of The Beevilweevils"
%%
Gruffi:  "This boat's nothing but trouble!"
Tummi:  "Aww, we went on an eensey weensey trip and came back with a new
	 Gummi Bear!"
Gruffi:  "*Don't* remind me..."
					-- "My Gummi Lies Over The Ocean"
%%
Launchpad:  "No can do, Mr. McD."
Fenton/Gizmoduck:  "Blabbering Blatherscythe!"
Scrooge McDuck:  "Tear me tartans!"
                 "Come on, lads!"
                 "Well, pluck me feathers and call me baldy!"
%%
Huey, Dewey, Louie, Scrooge:  "Quackarooni!!"
						-- "Nothing To Fear"
%%
Ma Beagle:  "Come on, give me a kiss..."
Scrooge:  "I'd rather plant a wet one on Shamu the Whale!!"
%%
Launchpad:  "I have a head for clouds!  Mr. McD. says my head's up in the
             clouds all the time!"
						-- "Allowance Day"
%%
Scrooge:  "Boys, look at you!  You've grown up...  and *out*!"
						-- "Duck To The Future"
%%
Scrooge:  "A sea monster ATE MY ICE CREAM?!!...  A sea monster ATE MY ICE
	   CREAM!?!"
%%
Scrooge:  "...  And I want this done A.S.A.P.!"
Launchpad:  "A.S.A.P.?  As sweet as possible?...  Oh, I know!  As stupid
	     as possible!"
Scrooge:  "As SOON as possible!!"
Launchpad:  "Oh... I knew that."
%%
Scrooge:  "Get this done A.S.A.P.!"
Duckworth:  "A.S.A.P., sir?"
Scrooge:  "As soon as possible, Duckworth!"
Duckworth:  "What a relief, sir!  I thought you were calling me 'a sap'!"
%%
Prof. Nimnul: "Now for some _serious_ devistation!" 
						-- "Rest Home Rangers"
%%
Gadget: "Oh Monty, how many ways do you think the wings can fall off an 
         airplane?" 				-- "Rest Home Rangers"
%%
Gadget: "Alright, who wants to see if this thing works!?" 
						--"Case Of The Cola Cult"
%%
Sparky: "Never get in the way of a motivated guinea pig." 
						-- "Does Pavlov Ring A Bell"
%%
Monty: "Do you always carry a glass cutter around with you?"
Gadget: "No, just when I want to cut glass." 	
						-- "A Creep In The Deep"
%%
Gadget: "Well, that didn't work. Why didn't it work? It should've worked! 
	 Oooh, nothing I do works. Does that mean if I did something that 
	 shouldn't work it'd work? Or does it mean I'm a failure?? Tell me 
	 Chip, I can take it, am I a failure?!"
Chip: "Uh, Gadget, can we talk about this later...?"    
         		                         -- "To The Rescue"
%%
Gadget: "Promise me when this is over you'll get help."
%%
Gadget: "It was better with the plugs in." 
						 -- "The Pied Piper Power Play"
%%
Monty: "Too-rah-loo, this bird can stop on a dime and give you nine cents
        change!"  
						-- "To The Rescue"
%%
Dale: "Meltdown, booo, we hate meltdown!" 	-- "The Pied Piper Power Play"
%%
Gadget:  "Well, I guess my [camera] flash is a bit bright..."
Monterey:  "No, Gadget love, the *sun* is bright!  That thing is downright 
            *blinding*!"
						-- "Chocolate Chips"
%%
Chip:  "Did I say 'fearless'?  I meant *brainless*!"
						-- "To The Rescue"
%%
Mepps:  "Did you ring for us, Boss?"
Fat Cat:  "No, I was just testing my moron magnet!"
						-- "Flash The Wonder Dog"
%%
Everyone:  "Rescue Rangers, away!"
Gadget:    "Oh, it'll only take a second."
%%
Monterey Jack:  "I hope you built brakes on this thing, Gadget love."
Gadget:         "Of course I did, Monty.  But they fell off a few
                 blocks back."
%%
Chip turns off Dale's Heavy Metal video on TV
	Dale:  "Hey!  What'd you do that for?"
	Chip:  "I can't think with all that noise!"
	Dale:  "It's heavy metal music!  You're not supposed to think!"
	Chip:  "I don't care if it's heavy on the anchovies!"
						-- "Risky Beesness"
%%
Fat Cat:  "After I'm through with him, the only dogs that people will like
	   will be HOT DOGS!!"
						-- "Flash The Wonder Dog"
%%
Dale:  "What's this thing?"
Gadget:  "Oh, that's the 'hover' switch!  It should turn the Ranger Wing into
	  a helicopter!"
Chip & Monty:  "Should?!?!"
						-- "Song Of The Night 'N Dale"
%%
Baloo: "Say, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Louie: "Yes, and that worries me."   
						-- "The Road To Macadamia"
%%
Baloo: "Well darn my socks!"  			-- "The Road To Macadamia"
%%
Louie: "Mumbo jumbo and a side of gumbo."  	-- "The Road To Macadamia"
%%
Princess Lota L'Amour: "Touch me and you're dust, buster!" 
						-- "The Road To Macadamia"
%%
Louie: "What's that?"
Baloo: "Steamshovel!  I win!"
Louie: "Steamshovel?!"
Baloo: "Look.. Scissors cuts paper, rock crushes scissors, steamshovel
	smashes rock!"
 						-- "The Road To Macadamia"
%%
Baloo: "I'm not taking no for an answer!"
Rebecca: "Oh no?"
Baloo: "I'm not taking it for a question either!"
%%
Rebecca: "Baloo I'm going insane and I'm taking you with me!"
              					-- "A Touch of Glass"
%%
Karnage: "Let us not beat any hasty puddings."
						-- "Captains Outrageous"
%%
Karnage: "This is getting nowhere too fast!"
						-- "Captains Outrageous"
%%
Karnage: "You may have a point on your head.  Okay, turn around!  No
	  looking and no peeking!"
						-- "Captains Outrageous"
%%
Baloo: "We ain't got a jiffy!"
%%
Baloo: "Wildcat, my boy, you're about to become a genius!"
Wildcat: "Really."  				
						-- "War of the Weirds"
%%
Wildcat: "...hokey dokey?"
Rebecca: "Well, hokey anyway." 
						-- "War of the Weirds"
%%
Baloo: "Well, what can't go down must go up."  -- "Last Horizons"
%%
Trader Moe:  "Okay, boys!  Ready...  aim..."
Kit:  "About face!  *Fire*!!"
	[ The goons fire on Trader Moe ]
Goon #1:  "Aww, sorry, boss!  We was just following orders!"
Goon #2:  "Yeah, orders!"
Trader Moe:  "SHADDUP!!  You don't listen to the kid!  Got it?!"
Goons:  "Yeah..."
Baloo:  "Ready, aim, FIRE!!"
	[ The goons fire on Trader Moe ]
Trader Moe:  "*Don't* listen to the kid!  *Don't* listen to the pilot!  Listen 
	      to *me*!  When *I* say fire, you *fire*!!...  Wait!!"
	[ The goons fire on Trader Moe ]
Goon #1:  "But it was *you* this time!"
Goon #2:  "Yeah, you!"
						-- "Time Waits For No Bear"
%%
Employee 1:  "Doesn't Mr. Khan ever get any sleep?"
Employee 2:  "Ever hear of vampires?"
						-- "A Bad Reflection On You"
%%
Baloo:  "Quiet!  Do you want to tip off Rebecca?"
Karnage:  "No, I want to BUMP off Rebecca!"
						-- "Stuck On You"
%%
Rebecca:  "That's your mechanic?  He couldn't tell a screwdriver from a BUS
	   driver!"		
						-- "Plunder And Lightning"
%%
Rebecca:  "Wildcat...  get therapy."
%%
Karnage:  "This is no time for a Chinese Fire Drill!"
						-- "Plunder And Lightning"
%%
Baloo:  "When I get through with that guy he'll be able to count all his teeth
         on ONE FINGER!!"
						-- "Stormy Weather"
%%
Karnage:  "Lookity look!  We are divisible!"	
						-- "Stuck On You"
%%
Karnage:  "Baloo?  That annoying amateur?  That fly in my personal ointment?  I
	   do not see any Baloo here, just three mutinous muttonheads!  Now get
           back to the Iron Vulture!  I will figure out an appropriately 
           appalling punishment later."		
						-- "Stuck On You"
%%
Weasel:  "Sorry, sir!  I was too busy thinking about your Heimlick Maneuver
	  to notice that you were choking!"
						-- "Vowel Play"
%%
Karnage: "Open the bomb-bay doors, please, Hal!"
Pilot 1: "No!"
Pilot 2: "Don't you have any *decency*?"
Karnage: "I am a PIRATE!  I don't *do* 'decency!'"
Maddog:  "Awww.  Why'dja let 'em _live_, Boss?"
Karnage:  "Because, I want them to tell Shere Khan what we took!
           Let HIM worry."
						-- "Plunder & Lightning"
%%
Maddog:  "Lately we've been skipping the valuables and stealing flagpoles
          and wire and fishbowls and ...."
Karnage:  "Yes, and what is your pathetic little insignificant point?"
Dumptruck:  "Vell, Cap'n,  vhat's all dis junk for?"
Maddog:  "Yeah, we don't understand."
Karnage:  "That is why _I_ am in charge and you are BIT PLAYERS!  Aww.  Did I
           hurt your pitiful little feelings?  Good."
						-- "Plunder & Lightning"
%%
Karnage: "Fire at will!" 
Wil (desperately dodging a hail of automatic weapons fire):  "AAAAIYEEEE!!"
Karnage: "No, no.  Do not fire at Wil, he is my Second Mate.  FIRE AT THE SEA-
          DUCK!!"
%%
Baloo:  "Heh-hey!  My flying is A plus!"
	         * CRASH *
Kit:  "Yeah, but your landings are C minus!"
						-- "Plunder & Lightning"
%%
Kit:  "Boy, [Rebecca] dies just as good as you do!"
Baloo:  "Told ya she had potential!"
						-- "War of the Weirds"
%%
Kit:  "Baloo told me never to talk to strangers, and I've never met anyone
       stranger than you!"
Karnage:  "Cute kid...  Where's the treasure?"
Kit:  "I don't know!"
Karnage:  "You do?"
Kit:  "Don't!"
Karnage (menacingly):  "Do?!"
Kit:  "*Don't*!!"
Karnage:  "You don't?"
						-- "Polly Wants A Treasure"
%%
Wildcat:  "I am Dr. Svenvely Gesundheit, B.V.D."
Rebecca:  "You mean Ph.D."
Wildcat:  "That too..."
						-- "War of the Weirds"
%%
Maddog:  "What do you want us to steal, Captain?"
Karnage:  "Do I have to write you a *shopping list*?!  Anything!  Everything,
	   *including* the kitchen sink!"
		[ LATER ... ]
Karnage:  "Okay, what riches do you have?  You may now *shower* me with them!"
Maddog:  "Well, we got what you asked for...  a kitchen sink!"
Karnage:  "Sink?  I don't need no *stinking* sink!"
Maddog:  "He sank our sink..."
						-- "It Came From Beneath
						    The Sea Duck"
%%
Baloo:  "Great flaming cat whiskers!"
						-- "It Came From Beneath
						    The Sea Duck"
%%
Wildcat:  "Sure, I'd love pool!  But I didn't bring my bathing suit!"
Baloo:  "Mister Khan..."
Wildcat:  "I mean, billiards would be divine..."
						-- "Citizen Khan"
%%
Dumptruck:  "Why do you say 'dive, dive' when you want to sink?"
Maddog:  "Because you *don't* say 'sink, sink'!"
Karnage:  "Row, ROW!!"
Dumptruck:  "Aye-aye, captain captain..."
						-- "It Came From Beneath
						    The Sea Duck" 
%%
Rebecca:  "I'll strangle him, then I'll fire him, then I'll strangle him again!"
						-- "Time Waits For No Bear"
%%
Kit:  "Baloo...  When did you teach the Sea Duck to *hover* like this?"
Baloo:  "Hover?  This plane can't hover!...  Oh, baby...  this is getting
	 *serious*!!"			
						-- "It Came From Beneath
						    The Sea Duck"
%%
Shere Khan:  "My dear, I desire only money and power.  Unpresentable employees
	      provide me with neither."
						-- "Citizen Khan"
%%
Shere Khan:  "I suppose I *should* investigate my untimely abduction..."
						-- "Citizen Khan"
%%
Baloo:  "Rebecca, have a heart!  When was the last time I lied to you?"
Rebecca:  "What time is it?"
						-- "Polly Wants A Treasure"
%%
Rebecca:  "Me?  Jealous of an empty-headed bombshell that can drop a moose
	   at fifty paces?  Ha!!"
						-- "A Star Is Torn"
%%
Kit:  "Stuff it in your windsock!"
Karnage:  "My... wind... SOCK?!!  Why you little...!!! *sniff* *sniff*...
	   what is that smell?"
						-- "Plunder & Lightning"
%%
Molly:  "Some cloud surfer *you* are!"
Kit:  "Well, excuse me for saving your pigtails!"
						-- "Mommy For A Day"
%%
Rebecca:  "I'm a friend and I'll prove it...  even if it *kills* me!...
			[ Gunfire explodes around her ]
           Why do I have to be so *literal*?"	
						-- "A Star Is Torn"
%%
Baloo:  "With all the time I'm spending in the doghouse I'm gonna need a
         flea collar!"
						-- "Polly Wants A Treasure"
%%
Baloo:  "Did anyone tell you that you are *crazy*?"
Karnage:  "What?...  Heh-heh...  *Never*... call me... that... *word*!"
Baloo:  "What?  *Crazy*?"
Karnage:  "That is the word!"
						-- "Stuck On You"
%%
Karnage:  "Quiet up your face and push!"
						-- "Stuck On You"
%%
Karnage:  "It is this way, *trust* me!"
Baloo:  "Trust you?  Every chance you get, you cheat, you rob and you lie!"
Karnage:  "It's my job!"
Baloo:  "It was also your job not to tell them I was with you!"
Karnage:  "Okay, so one little slip-up...  so *shoot* me!"
	(A gunshot ricochets off the hatch)
Baloo:  "I wish you wouldn't say that!"
						-- "Stuck On You"
%%
Baloo:  "I'm gone, man!  Solid gone!"
%%
Molly:  "Tune in next time:  Same Danger Time, same Danger Channel!"
%%
Karnage:  "Leave this to my personal self...  Brilliant, yes-no?"
Baloo:  "Now you're fishing for compliments!"
						-- "Stuck On You"
%%
Baloo:  "Idol of Doom, storm and fire...  flatten that creep like a bicycle
	 tire!"				
						-- "Destiny Rides Again"
%%
Baloo:  "Oh, my aching...  jewels?!"		
						-- "Polly Wants A Treasure"
%%
Employee:  "Hello, Louie's Place!...  Where's the hullabaloo?  Oh, *that*
	    Baloo!"		
						-- "Her Chance To Dream"
%%
Baloo:  "Cut the kid some slack, Jack..."
Kit:  "Yeah!  Listen to the fat lady!"
Baloo:  "*Lady*?!"
Kit:  "Whatever..."
						-- "Plunder And Lightning"
%%
Karnage:  "You have forced me to do terrible things...  I enjoy doing anyway!"
						-- "Captains Outrageous"
%%
Karnage:  "If you want your young friend [Kit] back in just one pieces, either
	   you tell me where the treasure is, or something terrible is going
	   to happen..."
[The ground collapses from under Karnage's feet]
Karnage:  "Mama...  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
						-- "Polly Wants A Treasure"
%%
Louie:  "My aunt Louise?  Comin' here?
         RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!  IT'S AUNT LOUISE!!"
						-- "The Ransom Of Red Chimp"
%%
Baloo:  "Did you notice anything, HoneyLips?"
Rebecca:  "Not a thing, Butterball!"
						-- "War Of The Weirds"
%%
Rebecca:  "I think someone around here needs his head examined."
Wildcat:  "It worked for me..."
						-- "Stuck On You"
%%
Goon #1:  "Hey, wait a minute!  You're the pilot who lost the box!"
Baloo:  "Eureka, we've struck brains!"
						-- "Time Waits For No Bear"
%%
Wildcat:  "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain!  I'd like to announce 
	   that we will be going *fast* now..."
						-- "Time Waits For No Bear"
%%
Karnage:  "I must say...  I do look *marvelous*!"
Rebecca:  "WHAT?!!"
						-- "A Baloo Switcheroo"
%%
Karnage: "I am certainly very happy for you, but--WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
						-- "The Ransom Of Red Chimp"
%%
Karnage:  "When I catch that bothersome Baloo, I'll tear him into itsy bitsy
	   pieces of ugly bear -- and then I sew him back together again -- 
	   with dull needles!"
						-- "Polly Wants A Treasure"
%%
Baloo: "If you were Rick Sky, how come you got caught so easy? You were only
        outnumbered 10 to 1."
Rick: "That was your fault. You didn't tell me your blasted plane had no guns.
       Imagine *my* surprise!"
Baloo: "Well, if I'd known you were gonna steal it, I'd have put some on for 
	you!"
Rick: "That's perfectly all right. Apology accepted."
						-- "Bygones"
%%
Wildcat: "I can slap together a plane in two hours with the parts I've got.
	  And since I have only half the parts, it should take only half as 
	  long!"
						-- "Bygones"
%%
Baloo: "Will it fly?"
Wildcat (laughing): "Will it fly?? Will it fly???.......... might."
						-- "Bygones"
%%
Baloo: "Only an idiot would go in there!...Might as well get started."
						-- "Bygones"
%%
Baloo: "And when it was over, the Squadron of Seven flew off, never forgetting
        the lone pilot who helped them recover the treasure...and their honor."
						-- "Bygones"
%%
Baloo and Louie: "This is us....leaving."
						-- "The Road To Macadamia"
%%
Baloo: "What's the matter, pal? Ain't you never seen a pair of *bongos* 
	before?"
						-- "Balooest Of The Bluebloods"
%%
Tuskernini:  "I am *not* Tuskernini...  and this is an excellent disguise!"
%%
Gosalyn: "Really...what kind of person does he think I am?"
Darkwing: "Need I remind you about the time with the peanut butter, the floor 
	   wax and my VCR?"
Gosalyn: "But that was an *accident*."
						-- "Paraducks"
%%
Drake:  "Yes, I *chose* to be here..."
						-- "The Merchant Of Menace"
%%
Darkwing:  "The daring Darkwing Duck defies death yet again, and defeats the
	    denizens of darkness!"
%%
Darkwing:  "Gosalyn?"
Gosalyn:  "Dad?"
Darkwing & Gosalyn:  "AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"
						-- "Trading Faces"
%%
Darkwing: "Tampering with my masterpiece, eh, Megavolt?" 
Megavolt: "Don't you ever *knock*??"
						-- "Comic Book Capers"
%%
Darkwing: "I need to work on a shorter intro...."
						-- "Slime OK, You're OK"
%%
Megavolt:  "Duck born with silver spoon in mouth speak with forked tongue!
            If you can dish it out, I can take it!"
Darkwing:  "Much more of this and I'll have a full place setting!"
						-- "Comic Book Capers"
%%
Darkwing:  "I'm a...  I'm a...  I'm a *cartoon*?!!  Oh, well..."
						-- "Twitching Channels"
%%
Darkwing:  "Let me see...  a fourteen-mile drop at something approaching the 
            speed of light...  We could be in for a rough landing, L.P.!!"
Launchpad:  "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
						-- "Comic Book Capers"
%%
Megavolt:  "Blast you... you're HANDICAPPED!!"
Darkwing:  "We prefer the term 'physically challenged.'"
						-- "Duck Blind"
%%
Darkwing:  "Gee, this hurts..."			
						-- "Darkly Dawns the Duck"
%%
Binkie:  "Oh, my stars...  With reading material like this, it's no wonder
	  why children grow up to be cruel, despotic dictators!"
						-- "Comic Book Capers"
%%
Darkwing:  "I don't mean to interrupt, but...  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!"
						-- "Comic Book Capers"
%%
Negaduck:  "Don't think you'll be able to hold us in here!  I'll..."
Seaman Drake:  "Quiet, or I'll summon the Darkwing Doubloon!"
Other Villains (to Negaduck):  "Yeah!  QUIET!!"
						-- "Darkwing Doubloon"
%%
Avenger:  "Like I always say, when in doubt, accessorize!"
						-- "The Secret Origins of
						    Darkwing Duck"
%%
Darkwing:  "We're investigating a crime and you're the prime seduction...
	    uh, *suspect*..."
						-- "Ghoul Of My Dreams"
%%
Launchpad:  "Uh, DW...?"
Darkwing:  "What is it, Launchpad?"
Launchpad:  "Do you know anything about washing machines?"
Darkwing:  "What?"
Launchpad:  "Well, I was wondering...  if the lid was stuck shut with the
	     thing on high, what do you think would happen?"
Darkwing:  "Well, I suppose the washer would explode in a mountain of suds!"
				** BOOM **
Launchpad:  "I was *afraid* of something like that..."
						-- "Comic Book Capers"
%%
Negaduck:  "Ah, my beautiful St. Canard... smell those noxious fumes."
						-- "Life, The Negaverse, And
						    Everything"
%%
Darkwing:  "What's the one thing every garden pest fears?  Common household
	    salt!"
Launchpad:  "Uh, DW...  don't I have some change coming?"
Darkwing:  "Sorry I didn't get a receipt!"
						-- "Comic Book Capers"
%%
Darkwing:  "I am the terror that flaps in the night!"
Megavolt:  "Happy flapping!"
						-- "Duck Blind"
%%
Megavolt:  "What is *with* you?  Can't a guy have a *hobby*?!"
						-- "Duck Blind"
%%
Nodoff:  "Come with me, Morgana, and I'll show you the riches of St. Canard!"
Darkwing:  "Don't be a fool, Morgana!  You know what this pint-sized
            pipsqueak's promises are worth!"
Morgana:  "Uh...  is this something I have to decide right now?"
Darkwing:  "Mor-GAN-a...!!!!!"
						-- "Ghoul Of My Dreams"
%%
Megavolt:  "Please, I know you!  You're the Darkwing Duck fan club!"
Darkwing:  "Yes, and as a matter of fact, we're having a *membership* drive!"
						-- "Duck Blind"
%%
Darkwing:  "Nice touch...  electromagnetizing steak knives..."
Launchpad:  "Sure impressed *me*!!"
						-- "Duck Blind"
%%
Darkwing:  "You are *not* a well person!"
Megavolt:  "And you're NORMAL?!  'I am the cold sore that stings your lip?'
	    We're definitely talking *demented*!"
						-- "Duck Blind"
%%
Darkwing:  "Clever of me to use my *spine* to break my fall like that..."
%%
Nega-Binkie:  "Now, Honker dear, you run along and do some life-altering damage
               to those nice men who hurt Mommy!"
						-- "Life, The Negaverse, And
						    Everything"
%%
Gosalyn:   "Darkwarrior...?"
Darkwing:  "Oh, great!  My daughter's gone for five minutes, and already she's
	    forgotten my name!"
						-- "Time And Punishment"
%%
Darkwing:  "I don't know where you went, but you're going to wish you'd never
	    *returned*!!"			-- "Time And Punishment"
%%
Darkwing:  "Are you crazy!?"
Megavolt:  "Well, maybe a little manic-depressive on weekends, but..."
%%
Darkwing: "...useless.  A spare sock in the hamper of life." 
						-- "Duck Blind"
%%
Jumbalia Jake:  "Gumbo, if I wore shoes you'd be in big trouble right now!"
%%
Launchpad:  "Crashing just comes naturally to me."
%%
Darkwing:  "So, my reputation exceeds me!" 	-- "You Sweat Your Life"
%%
Gosalyn:  "All right, play it where it lays!" 	-- "Darkly Dawns The Duck"
%%
Gosalyn:  "Look, I don't know anything about a pig and I was nowhere near 
	   the boy's restroom at the time!" 	--  "Darkly Dawns The Duck"
%%
Darkwing:  "You drew on my map..." 		-- "In Like Blunt"
%%
Launchpad:  "Nice outfit, who's your embalmer?" 
%%
Launchpad:  "You should sue for definition of character."
%%
Gosalyn: "Those are alien plant invaders who want to replace everyone on 
 	  Earth!"
Honker: "Uh, gee, that plot doesn't sound so cliche when its happening to 
	 you..."
%%
Max:  "On a scale of one to ten, how much does your dad usually like me?"
PJ:  "Less than zero?"
						-- "O, R-V, I N-V U"
%%
Pete:  "How do you like *them* apples?"
Goofy:  "Them's pretty *rotten* ones, if you ask me..."
						-- "Goof Under My Roof"
%%
Max:  "Why don't you just tell her 'no'?"
PJ:  "Watch...  *ahem*...  Pistol...  no."
Pistol:  "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
PJ:  "Four, three, two, one...  and cue the mom!"
Peg [offstage]:  "PJ?!  ARE YOU BEING MEAN TO YOUR SISTER?"
Max:  "Okay, okay, I believe ya!  How do you make her stop?"
PJ:  "Huh?  Oh, that's easy!...  *ahem*...  Yes, Pistol, I will read to you!"
Pistol [stops crying]:  "Okay..."
						-- "Pistolgeist"
%%
Pete:  "So get in that mobile cage of yours, and get the truck out of here!"
Circus Owner:  "But our truck is down *there*!"
Pete:  "I *know*..."
						-- "Three Ring Bind"
%%
Goofy:  "You look like a big hamburger, Petey.  All you need are some big
	 buns...  Some fast-rising bread mix ought to do the trick..."
                				-- "Goof Under My Roof"
%%
PJ:  "Game called on account of Mom!"		-- "Waste Makes Haste"
%%
Max:  "I'll leave [the audience] screaming!"
PJ:  "Yeah...  for the aisles..."		 -- "Talent To The Max"
%%
Max:  "Stink?"
PJ:  "Like a skunk with B.O.!"			-- "Talent To The Max"
%%
Max:  "Heh-heh...  we call this the *speed* bump..."
						-- "Lethal Goofin'"
%%
Peg:  "I wouldn't luau with you if my hula hips *depended* on it!"
						-- "Wrecks, Lies & Videotape"
%%
Max:  "This was Calamityville...  and we *liked* Calamityville..."
						-- "Close Encounters of the
						    Weird Mime"
%%
Goofy: "Let's get down to business."
Gladys:  "Right here?"
Goofy:  "Right *now*!"
						-- "Date With Destiny"
%%
Gladys:  "Here's the *bill* for all of my time you've taken up."
Peg:  "Bill?  What bill?"
Gladys:  [shoves Pete out of his seat]  "Lady, let me tell you about your 
         husband's sense of humor..."
						-- "Date With Destiny"
%%
Max:  "You know, maybe we're targeting the wrong audience..."
PJ:  "Eighty-five gallons of sweat later you tell me this?"
						-- "And Baby Makes Three"
%%
Pistol:  "Isn't playing circus the mostest fun ever?"
PJ:  "Right up there with de-gunking the gutters, babe..."
						-- "And Baby Makes Three"
%%
Max:  "Can't you see he's only mortal?  If you poke him with crayons, will 
       he not bleed?...  Everything's fine now, but as soon as *baby*
       gets here -- you'll toss him away like a used Kleenex!"
						-- "And Baby Makes Three"
%%
Pistol:  "Not to bug you, Daddy, but I have a small request...  Can I
	  have a baby brother?"
Pete:  "Yeah, ice cream, candy, baby brother, anything...  as soon as your 
	mother gets home."
						-- "And Baby Makes Three"
%%
Peg:  "Not to get personal, dear...  but what happened to your *pants*?"
						-- "Tee For Two"
%%
Peg:  "Now, now...  struggling just makes the earthworms angry..."
						-- "To Heir Is Human"
%%
Peg:  "Cod-liver oil, vinegar, and Tabasco...  cures one out of every
       thousand -- and pretty much finishes off the rest..."
						-- "To Heir Is Human"
%%
Pete:  "Goofy?"
Peg:  "That's him."
Pete:  "The course pro."
Peg:  "None better."
Pete:  "I beat him, I win the trophy."
Peg:  "You got it."
						-- "Tee For Two"
%%
Pete:  "Now, Peg, I know I look good in a tutu, but...  uh-UH!!"
						-- "Goofin' Up The Social
						    Ladder"
%%
Goofy:  "Passionate, isn't she?"		-- "Goofin' Up The Social
						    Ladder"
%%
Goofy:  "If your son was my son, I'd still be an idiot!"
						-- "You Camp Take It With You"
%%
Max:  "You okay?"
Goofy:  "I guess we better check the 'What to do if you don't know what to
	 do' section."
						-- "You Camp Take It With You"
%%
Pete:  "I almost forgot the bullets."
						-- "You Camp Take it With You"
%%
Max: "We're losing the trailer!"
Goofy:  "Take the wheel, Max!" 
Max:  "But I'm only eleven-and-a-half years old!" 
Goofy:  "That's okay, Max!  This car is old enough to drive itself!"
						-- "You Camp Take It With You"
%%
Max:  "You need a license to do this?!?!"
						-- "You Camp Take It With You"
%%
Goofy:  "Forget it, Max!"
Max:  "But why?"
Goofy:  "Creepy movies don't agree with you, son!"
Max:  "What are you talking about?"
Goofy:  "Remember that old witch in 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'?  You
	 got so scared, you had hiccups for a *week*!"
PJ:  "Snow White...?"
Max:  "No way!  That was, uh, *pickles*..."
Goofy:  "Max, you can't watch Grandma stuff a chicken without getting faint!"
Max:  "The *past*, Dad, you're talking about the *past*!  I'm eleven-and-a-half!
       Nothing scares me..."
PJ:  "Except math tests..."
Max:  "That's *different*, PJ...  Besides, his dad says it's a part of
       manhood!"
PJ:  "I'm still working on *boyhood*..."
						-- "Midnight Movie Madness"
%%
Max:  "You'll be the first kid in our block to break the sound barrier!"
PJ:  "Come on, I've already broken the *pain* barrier..."
						-- "Hot Air"
%%
Max:  "Aw, Peej, fishing with your dad!  What could be more fun?"
PJ:  "Eating *glass*!  You know what fishing with him is *like*?  Not to 
      mention when I turn *green* and toss three meals a day!"
						-- "Slightly Dinghy"
%%
Max:  "Remember the three rules of camping...  be clean, be courteous and be
       careful!  Helping this guy is the courteous thing to do!"
PJ:  "You'll let me know when we hit that part about being *careful*?!"
						-- "You Camp Take It With You"
%%
Pete:  "Toast, son?  Two slices or three?"
PJ:  "Two plus three is five, minus two is three, minus two is one!"
Pete:  "Okay, so you can add!  Want an egg?"
PJ:  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
Pete:  "Okay, no eggs!  Say, don't tell me you want a candy bar for breakfast!"
PJ:  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!...  I can't take it any more...  and eggs... and
     toast... and jelly... and a slice of pizza..."
Max:  "Down, PJ, *down*!!"
Pete:  "Say, what's wrong with him?"
Max:  "He memorized the math book forty-seven times!  I think he's got numbers
       on the brain..."
						-- "Axed By Addition"
%%
PJ:  "What if...  I flunked?"
Pete:  "FLUNK?!?!  And make *my* brains look bad?!"
						-- "Axed By Addition"
%%
Max:  "So what looks good today, Outer Mongolian Worry Warts or Peruvian
       Pus-Face?  We'll mix and match 'em...  the grosser the better..."
						-- "Axed By Addition"
%%
Pete:  "Pistol!  What are you doing?  Little bitsy girls can't fly!"
Pistol:  "I'm not flying, Daddy... I'm *landing*!"
Pete:  "Landing?  Oh, that's different...  *LANDING*?!!"
						-- "Hot Air"
%%
Goofy:  "But Pistol, you're only four years old!"
Pistol:  "Four-and-a-*half*!"
Max:  "She'll never see *five*..."
						-- "Hot Air"
%%
Director:  "Okay, enough rehearsing!  Let's do a take with the camera running!"
Pete:  "Heh-heh...  WHAT?!!?  REHEARSAL?!?!!  Why you...  I'm gonna punch
	you so hard your *mom* will get a black eye!!"
						-- "Hot Air"
%%
Pete:  "The gorilla is gonna fly the plane?!!"
Director:  "Don't worry!  Hasn't crashed one in *days*!"
Pete:  "DAYS?!?!?!"
						-- "Hot Air"
%%
Goofy:  "Getting pretty good at this hammering thing!  Haven't hit a...
	 *yow!*...  finger.  Still got seven more good ones, anyway...
	 *ow!*... six more...  *owoo!*...  five more...  *ow!*..."
						-- "Forever Goof"
%%
Max:  "PJ, why are you telling me all this?"
PJ:  "In case we don't make it, I want to go with a clear conscience, y'know?"
						-- "Forever Goof"	
%%
Max:  "One word of this to *anyone* and your pigtails will be *orphans*!"
						-- "Date With Destiny"
%%
Pete:  "How many times do I have to tell you...  do as I *think*, not
	mean what I say?!!"
						-- "Axed By Addition"
%%
Pete:  "That's my boy...  doesn't want to go slow and painful...  wants to
	go *fast* and painful..."		
						-- "Axed By Addition"
%%
Pete:  "Get this thing over to Spoonerville!"
Homer:  "What?  And risk Mr. G.'s dishes?"
Pete:  "SANITY BEFORE CROCKERY!!"		
						-- "Forever Goof"
%%
PJ:  "You think this will really work?"
Max:  "I'd stake your life on it, dude!"		
						-- "Forever Goof"
%%
Goofy:  "A--lo--ha!  That there's Hawaiian for 'aloha'!"
						-- "Forever Goof"
%%
Goofy:  "Little?  Why, my son's twice as tall as I was when I was only *half*
	 his size!  Come on, son, we're leaving!...  Forgot we live here...
	 *You* get out!"
						-- "Forever Goof"
%%
Pete:  "My PJ's *nobody's* fool!"
Goofy:  "Oh, yeah?  Well, my Max is *twice* the fool of your son and then some!"
						-- "Forever Goof"
%%