Feminist joke: What happens every time a man unzips his pants? His brains fall out! ------------------------------ Woman goes into CVS (do you have CVS pharmacies on west coast??) and asks for Tampax. There are several other people that hear her ask. Store worker walks several aisles over, to retrieve the sought item. But worker is hard of hearing and thinks she asked for thumbtacks. He yells back across the aisles: WE'VE GOT TWO KINDS. YOU WANT THE KIND YOU HAMMER IN, OR THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB ??? ------------------------------ A young man was feeling poorly so he went to the doctors for a physical. "Well Doc, what's wrong with me?" "Son, I am sorry to be the one that has to tell you. You have H. A. G. S." "HAGS!!! That sounds terrible. What is it?" Herpes Aids Gonorrhea Syphilis The Doctor says to the young man: "I am going to have to place you under quarantine at the hospital. There we will put you on a VERY strict diet of Pizza and Pancakes." "Will that cure me?" "No, but it is the only thing that we can slide under the door" ------------------------------ A Golfer died and was sent to Hell. Upon his arrival, he was met by a friend of his that was also a golfer. They were both standing next to the best golf course ever built. The Greens were perfect. All the caddies were beautiful naked ladies. A Ten with a capital "T". The one gentleman looks at the other and said: "This can't be Hell! I thought it would be fire and brimstone." "Believe me this is Hell; neither the golf course nor the women have any holes!" ------------------------------ Woman: Doctor, you've got to help me! I've got three vaginas! Doctor: I see, and what would you like me to do about this little "problem"? Woman: Well, can't you sew two of them up or something? I was sort of hoping that that might be possible. Doctor: Sure it's possible. But what's the inconvenience of having three vaginas? It doesn't sound so terrible... Woman: But it is: I'm tired of getting screwed left, right, and center!!! ------------------------------ Q: How many television evangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, television evangelists screw in motel rooms. ------------------------------ They tell a story of a man who asked a socially conscious friend: "If you had two houses, what would you do with them?" "Keep one and give the other to the State," the friend replied. "If you had two cows, what would you do with them?" the first man asked. "Keep one and give the other to the State," the friend replied. "If you had two chickens, what would you do with them?" the first man persisted. "Keep them both," the friend replied. "Why?" the first man asked. "Because I *have* two chickens." ------------------------------ Q: What are the vital statistics of an Ethiopian beauty ? A: 18-12-18 What do ethopians call venetian blinds?? Bunk Beds What's the Ethiopian national anthem? Food, glorious food What's the world's fastest animal? the Ethiopian chicken -------------------- A couple went into an old, New England, colonial cemetery for a little lovemaking - you know, the kind of cemetery with the flat, horizontal tombstones. Seems the next morning, the girl woke up with a terrible backache. Being careful, she decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told her to take off her clothes and turn around. So she took off her clothes and turned around. "How old did you say you were," the doctor asked. "23", she replied. "Why?" The doctor replied: "Cause it says on your ass you died in 1794". ------------------- Two men, one a Secular Humanist and the other , a charismatic christian, were playing golf one day. They were discussing the nature of God, and which one was right. The christian said,"May God strike you for your blasphemy." The skies grew dark, and thunder rumbled. Lightning flashed, and the Secular Humanist was vaporized. From far away, the christian heard a voice, "G*d D*mn, I Missed!" ------------------- Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Ronald." "Ronald who?" "That's another question and I'm not taking any more." ------------------- God one day decided he ought to check in with Adam to see how things were going. "Adam....How are things going?" Adam replies that he considers himself quite fortunate to be living in such a beautiful and peaceful place but he did have a couple of questions to ask, if the Lord didn't mind, of course. "No problem," said the Lord, "Ask away" "Well Lord, I was wondering why you made Eve so beautiful? Not that I'm complaining, mind you." "Adam, I made Eve so beautiful so that you would like her." "Oh, well yes, I do like her very much. Thank you Lord. You made her so beautiful but why is it then that you made her so stupid?" "Well Adam, I had to make sure she liked you too!" ------------------- One day on a farm somewhere in Iowa, there's this farmer who, having decided that his old rooster is not preforming as well as he used to, decides to replace him with a younger cock. Now the old rooster, having lived so long, is a crafty bird. He says to the young cock, "Now I realize what you are here for, and I know what fate has in store for me, but I have a request to make." "I know that I'm over the hill, but I would like to go gracefuly. Tell you what, I'll challange you to a race. A race that you will win. Just humor an old bird and let me lead for most of the race before you pass me and take over. For prides sake, don't make me look bad in front of the chickens. Let it appear that there is still life in me yet." Well, all this flattery had its desired effect on the young cock. After all, even if the old bird decided to try and win the race, he could still defeat him. So the race commenced. With loud clucking and screeching the old bird took off with the narrow lead that the young cock had granted. Of course all the noise attracted the attention of the farmer who, having seen the display from the kitchen window, came bolting out the back door with a shotgun. With a mighty boom, the young cock was blown to bits. The old farmer dejectedly walked back to the house muttering about his failures, "Goddamn it. Thats the eighth bird I've tried to replace that old rooster with. And that one was a faggot just like all the rest." ------------------- How do you recondition an old whore? Put a ten-pound ham up her cunt and pull out the bone --------------- A WASP couple went to the doctor to complain that they could not make a baby. The doctor asked the husband "What position are you in when you ejaculate?" "Ejaculate???" asked the WASP. "When you climax....." "Oh, you mean the white stuff?" The doctor said "Yes, the white stuff." The WASP said "Oh, Buffy thinks it's icky, so I shoot it in the sink before we start." ---------------- A crowd was standing in a circle around a Mooney who was sitting down. One guy came and told the crowd "He has poured gasoline all over himself, and is threatening to set himself on fire, so we're taking up a collection for him". A guy in the crowd said "What have you gotten so far?" The first guy replied, "2 Bics, 6 Ronsons, 4 Zippos, and eighteen books of matches" ---------------- Q: Where can you buy panties made out of fertilizer bags and bras made out of beer cans? A: Frederick's of Kentucky. --------------------- Did you hear about the new law firm started by Nixon, Hart and Kennedy?? It's called Trick'em, Dick'em and Dunk'em.... --------------------- A kid walking down the street and heard someone say "shit" so the when he got home, he asked his mom what "shit" meant. "Oh", said his mother, "that means food." The next day, the same kid is walking down the street and hears someone say the word "fuck". Again, he goes home and asks his mother what it means. "Oh", said his mother, "fuck means getting dressed." One day soon afterward, the preacher was invited to dinner, and the kid answered the door. "Where are your parents?" asked the preacher. He answered "they'll be a minute, the shit's on the table and they're upstairs getting fucked." --------------------- What is long, has two nuts, and makes girls fat? An Almond Joy candy bar. --------------------- A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a pain killer. "Don't bother Doc," said the man. "I've been through a lot worse." "More painful than this?" the doctor asked. "I'll tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM, the thing snapped shut on my balls." The doctor winced, "That's awful. But tell me, what could be worse?" "When I reached the end of the chain." -------------------- There's these three traveling salesmen, who at the end of the day, stop at a farmhouse for the night. Naturaly the farmer has a beautiful daughter, who get laid by each of the salesmen over the course of the night. The next morning the farmer, having found out about their nights activities, feins that he does not know what has occured. He tells each of the salesmen that each may go out into his garden or orchard and pick some fruit or vegetables for free to eat on their journey. While the three are outside the farmer gets his shotgun and awaits their imminent return with baited breath. The first salesman upon returning with an armload of grapes is confronted by the farmer," I know what you did with my daughter last night. As your punishment you must shove ten of those grapes up your ass." Seeing that the farmer is as serious as the loaded shotgun, he complies. The second salesmen, upon returning with an armload of cherries is forced to do likewise. As the farmer is waiting for the last salesman to return he is supprised to hear the other two salesmen laughing. "What are you two laughing about? Do you think its funny?" "No", they replied, "But last time we saw Jack he was picking watermelons." -------------------- A woman entered a pawn shop one day and found a mirror. She inquired about the price, to which the owner replied: "Ahhh ... This mirror costs 100,000 dollars!". "Why so much", asked the woman? "This is a MAGICAL mirror, it will grant you your greatest desires!!!" answered the owner. She immediately purchased the mirror (her husband was very wealthy) and took it home. Later that night, as she was getting ready for bed, she approached the mirror (now hanging on the door) and said: "Mirror, mirror on the door make my tits a forty-four !!!" and BAM!!! her wish was granted (much to her husbands delight). The next morning the husband (after hearing how his wife became so well endowed) also approached the magical mirror and said: "Mirror, mirror on the door make my pecker touch the floor !!!!" and BAM!!! his legs fell off! -------------------- Jake the farmer returns from a hard day in the fields to find his wife in the kitchen cooking dinner. "Have I got a surprise dinner for you!", says his wife. "Tonight I went all out and we're having lambchops... and fresh from our own back yard!" Jake becomes enraged, picks up a knife and chases his wife out the door and down the road. While in pursuit, he passes a neighbor who yells after him, "What's the matter Jake, did she fuck up your cookin'?" "No...", Jake screams back, "She cooked up my fuckin'!" ------------------- A man was riding the subway, and suddenly keeled over and passed out. When he awoke, staring into his eyes was a Nun. He said "where am I?" The Nun replied" You were brought to Mercy Hospital." "Am I going to be all right?" "Yes, quite. But we want to know how you are going to pay, do you have insurance?" "No" "Any cash, or credit cards?" "No", by this time the man was growing very irritated. "Do you have any close relatives?" "Just my sister in Minneapolis, she's a spinster Nun." The Nun replied, "Nuns are not spinsters, they are married to God!" The angered man snapped..."Then bill my brother in law!" ----------------- The macho coach of Bruiser State saw the referee call a five yard penalty on his team. The coach ran out to the ref and yelled into his face "YOU STINK, REF!!!" The referee picked up the ball and said "Oh, really?" He walked 15 yards further down field and yelled, "How do I smell from here?" ----------------- After two hours of fun, the wife looked at the husband and said, "I love it... the sex, the vibrator, the enema, all of that..... ....but why do I always have to sleep on the brown spot?" ----------------- What do you call a bouncer in a gay bar? A flame thrower ----------------- A man is driving along the highway through a National Forest late one night. Suddenly his headlights illuminate the body of a deer, obviously a road kill, lying in the middle of the road. He brakes to a stop and pulls the carcass off to the side of the road. Suddenly he has an idea. He goes back to his car, gets a pencil and paper, and writes a suicide note, which he impales onto the deer's horns. He is laughing so hard now he can barely drive off, and he just can't wait for the troopers to see this note. Finally he can't stand it any longer and he stops at a telephone booth and calls the state patrol saying "I'd like to report a road kill deer about five miles east of the junction." "OK, thank you." says the somewhat bored voice on the other end of the phone. "No, you don't understand. This deer is different. It had a *suicide note* stuck in it's horns." "Right! Stay right where you are. We'll have a black-and-white out there in two minutes!" "Whoa, I don't want to hang around here all night. It's just a road kill." says the man. "Maybe, but the Lieutenant thinks its murder." ----------------- For Star Trek: The Next Generation fans: Q: how many Ferengi does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I'll tell you if you give me a dollar. ----------------- Dolly Parton and Princess Diana died and arrived at the Pearly Gates simultaneously. St. Peter told them, "Our computer is down today, and we can only accept one person right now. You must show me which of you is best qualified to enter Heaven." Dolly opened her blouse and said, "How about *THESE*?" "Oh wow! Very impressive," said St. Peter. "Can you compete with this?" he asked Lady Di. Lady Di lifted her skirt, squatted, and proceeded to perform feminine hygiene functions. "Ok, welcome to Heaven!" Dolly Parton was aghast; "But what about *THESE*??" St. Peter replied, "Everybody knows a royal flush beats a pair!" ----------------- A little kid watched the drunk Marine go into the bathroom, and as the Marine was taking a leak, the kid asked: "Are you really a Marine?" The Marine replied "Yes, do you want to wear my hat?" The kid said "Oh yes!", and the Marine gave him his hat. A minute later a sailor walked into the restroom and the kid said: "Are you really a sailor?" The sailor said "Yeah... ya wanna suck my cock? The kid pulled off his hat and said "Oh no!! I'm not really a Marine!" ------- Minnie and Max had been married for 18 years. As Minnie grew older and less attractive, Max became disinterested and his libido started to wane dramatically. In desperation, Minnie hauled him before a marriage counselor. The marriage counselor listened patiently to Minnie's complaints and to Max's protestations. Max said he was being nagged unmercifully Minnie said that Max was causing her anguish. Finally the marriage counselor issued a verdict. "Max," he said, "from now on, no matter how you feel, you must give Minnie her conjugal rights at least semi-annually." Minnie was delighted and they left the counselor's chambers. On the way downstairs she nudged Max, "Tell me Max, how many times a week is semi-annually?" ----------- Deep in the Tennessee hills, a farmer's mule kicked his mother-in-law to death. An enormous crowd of men turned out for the funeral. The minister, examining the crowd outside the church, commented to a farmer friend, This old lady must have been mighty popular. Just look how many people left their work to come to her funeral. They're not here for the funeral, snickered the friend. They're here to buy the mule. ----------- A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the window that she wished to take the $3 million she had in the bag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though, she wished to meet the President of Chase Manhattan Bank due to the large amount of money involved. The teller seemed to think that this was a reasonable request and after opening the paper bag and seeing the bundles of $1,000 bills, which amounted to about $3 million, he telephoned the bank president's secretary to obtain an appointment for the lady. The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the President's office. Introductions were made and she stated that she liked to get to know the people she did business with on a more personal level. The bank president then asked her how she came into such a large sum of money. "Was it an inheritance?" he asked. "No," she replied. He was quiet for a minute trying to think where this little old lady could possibly have come into $3 million. "I bet," she stated. "You bet?" repeated the bank president. "As in horses?" "No," the little old lady replied. "I bet on people." Seeing his confusion, she explained that she just bet different things with people. All of a sudden she said, "I'll bet you $25,000 that by 10:00 a.m. tomorrow morning you balls will be square." The bank president figured that she must be off her rocker and decided to take her up on her bet. He didn't see how he could lose. For the rest of the day, the bank president was very careful. He decided to stay home that evening and take no chances - there was $25,000 at stake. When he got up the next morning he took a shower, and checked to make sure that everything was okay. There was no difference. He looked the same as he always had. He went to work and waited for the little old lady to come in at 10:00, humming as he went. He knew that this would be a good day - how often do you get handed $25,000 for doing nothing? At 10:00 sharp the little old lady was shown into his office. With her was a younger man. When the bank president inquired as to the man's purpose for being there, she informed him that he was her lawyer and that she always took him along whenever there was this much money in- volved. "Well," she asked, "What about our bet?" "I don't know how to tell you this," he replied, "but I'm the same as I have always been, only $25,000 richer!" The lady seemed to accept this but requested that she be able to see for herself. The bank president thought this was reasonable and dropped his trousers. She instructed him to bend over and then grabbed hold of him. Sure enough, everything was fine. The bank president then looked up and saw her laywer standing across the room banging his head against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" the bank president asked. "Oh, him," she replied. "I bet him $100,000 that by 10:00 this morning I'd have the President of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls." ------------------------ What is the ultimate in laziness ?? Marrying a pregnant woman. Why are hypochondriacs lousy lovers? They prefer to wait until the swelling goes down. Why wasn't John F. Kennedy such a good boxer? He couldn't take a shot to the head. How do you circumcise a leper? Shake him. Why are tits like an electric train? They're intended for kids, but it's the Daddys that play with them. What's the difference between herpes and AIDS? One's a love story, and the other's a fairy tale. -------------------- These black fellows go to register to vote down south. The registrar tells them they will have to pass a reading test. He hands the first a newspaper, and asks him to read it. One slight problem - the newspaper is written in Hebrew. The black fellow says "Well, I can't make out the fine print, but the headline says "Ain't no blacks gonna vote in this town this year." -------------------- What do you do when you see an epileptic convulsing in a swimming pool? Throw in your laundry!! -------------------- How do you know when a female bartender is pissed off at you?? There's a string hanging out of your bloody mary! -------------------- A guy says to his friend: " Did you know that you can go to Toronto, have dinner and drinks, and get laid for $25.00?" "Bullshit!", says his friend. "Who told you that?" "My sister!", he replied. -------------------- A man walks into a pool hall and sees an old man with bi-focal glasses and thinks he has found the perfect mark. He asks him if he would like to shoot a game for ten dollars. The old man beats the shit out of him and the first guy says,"How did you beat me so bad?" The old man says "It's easy! With these glasses, I see a big ball and a little ball, and a big pocket and a little pocket. I just shoot the little ball in the big pocket." The next night, the guy comes back to play again, but this time, he also has a pair of bi-focals. Just when its time to break, he has to go to the bathroom. After a couple of minutes, he comes back out and his pants are all soaked down the front. "What happened?", said the old man. "Well, I did just like you said. I went to the can and pulled out my dick, and I saw a big one and a little one. I knew the big one wasn't mine, so I put it back in my pants!" -------------------- An old man returns to church just in time for GOSPEL BINGO!! Unfortunately, he sits in front of old Ms. MacCruddy-Fuddy,the church busybody. The pastor motions for attention and starts the questions: 'Who led the children of Israel across the Red Sea?" The old guy is beginning to doze off..Ms. M 'harumphs' and sticks a hat pin in his keister. The old guy bellows: 'HOLY MOSES!!' and looks around. The pastor is moved. 'God bless ya brother!' and proceeds to the next question: 'Who is our Heavenly Father?' Ms. M pulls the hatpin trick and the old guy jumps up and screams 'GOD!!!' and looks straight into the smug face of Ms. MaCruddy-Fuddy. The pastor has tears streaming down his face: 'Oh brother, you are truly blessed!! And now the final question? What did Eve say to Adam after they had their second child?' Ms. M was about to stick the 'sleeping' man again when the man jumped up and roared, 'You stick that thing into me again, and I'll break it off!!" -------------------- A rancher and his new bride had just gotten married and where riding off to their honeymoon in a horse and carriage. Coming to a rickety bridge over a fast flowing river, the horse suddenly comes to a jerking halt. "Giddap", says the rancher, snapping his horsewhip. The horse won't budge. The rancher gets out - goes to the front of his horse, and smacks him in the nose. "That's ONE!", says the rancher. He gets back in the carriage and off they go. Moments later they come to a crossroad, and the horse again unexplainably comes to a jerking halt. The rancher snaps his whip cleanly on the horse's nose, "Giddap", says the rancher, "That's TWO!", and off they go. Again, moments later they come to another river crossing, and the horse comes to an abrupt halt. The rancher is fuming. "That's it!" he says, and pulls out his gun and shoots the horse dead! Now, his new wife, silently observing during all this time begins to complain, "Now look what you've done. Why'd you have to shoot him? Now, we'll have to walk. That horse didn't do anything but halt a couple o' times. You didn't have to shoot him, did you?" The rancher turns to his wife - "That's ONE!" -------------------- A woman was in confession and said "Oh Father, I slept with a different man every night last week." The priest replied, "Your penance will be to say 7 Hail Mary's and to suck on two lemons." The woman said, "I understand the significance of the 7 Hail Mary's but what's with the lemons?" "That's to get the smile off of your face!" ------------------------ Q: Why did the doctors give Liberace 6 more weeks to live? A: The gerbil came out and saw his shadow. ------------------------ There is this huge Rambo of a guy that enters a bar and settles down right in the middle. After downing a whisky in one shot, he glares to the six guys sitting to his right and bellows, "All you guys are motherfuckers! Anyone got a problem with that?" There was not a whimper. So our hero downs another whisky in one shot, scowls insolently at the six men to his right, and moving his hand in an arc thunders, "All you guys are cocksuckers! (sound of deep breathing) Anyone got a problem with that?" Everyone just stared at their drinks, making no sound. Just then this small mousy guy, stands up from the right side, and begins to walk towards the ruffian, with a most disgusting look on his face, hands on his hips. "Why, you fuckin' runt", screamed the villian, "you have a problem do you?" "No problem at all sir, just sitting on the wrong side of the bar." ------------------------ A groom gets into an accident the day before his wedding. Unfortunately the damage was to his private parts. As such, he had a splint of tongue depressers attached to his penis. On his wedding night his bride comes out of the bathroom in a long sweeping gown. She looks at him and say's "Honey, no man has ever seen me before" She then removes the gown to reveal a skimpy teddy and say's "Honey, no man has ever seen this before". Thru this the groom just sat there. She then removes the teddy and say's, "Honey, even my mama has never seen me like this". At this point he stands up, removes his bathrobe and says, "Yah, well mine is still in the packing crate." ------------------------ A husband and his wife are having marital problems. The husband hits his wife over the head with a baseball bat every morning because his coffee is cold. The wife decides she is going to do something about it. She goes to a pet store and asks if they have any ferocious pets. The pet store owner says "We have a tiger." The lady replies "Not ferocious enough!" The pet store owner says, "Well, we have a lion, he's the 'king of the jungle'." The lady says "Well that's pretty close but, It's still not Ferocious Enough!" The pet store owner (a little frustrated) says "Well we have one more animal that should be ferocious enough. Here it is, it's a Tweety-bird." The lady looks at him and then at the bird. "It's so small and cute, how could it be ferocious?" "O.K. here's how it works," says the pet store owner, "you tell it to Tweety- bird something and it does." "Here's an example," he points to a chair and says, "Tweety-bird that chair." ZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP GONE! The lady says, "Wow! I'll take it." She takes Tweety-bird home and says, "Tweety-bird that baseball bat." ZZZZZZZIIIIIIPPPPPPP GONE! The ladys husband comes home and says, "The coffee's cold, where's my bat?" The lady replies, "Tweety-bird ate it." He says, "Tweety-bird my ass!" ZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP GONE! ------------------------ How do you know when you get really good head??? When you have to pry the bedsheets out of your ass. -------------- Two fags are walking down the street, and a man walks by. One fag turns to the other and say "God, he was a good fuck!" The other fag truns to him and say "NO SHIT?!?!?!" "Well, hardly any!" -------------- Silly Sally went out for her first date. Her boyfriend took her to a drive in movie and parked in the back of the lot. When he started to put his hand in her bra she laughed and she laughed..... .... cause Silly Sally knew her money was in her sock! Silly Sally left the window open one night when she went to bed. All of a sudden a man jumped thru the window and landed on her bed. Silly Sally jumped up and the she laughed and she laughed.... cause she knew there was only one pillow! Silly Sally ran in the house and yelled "MOM! I LIT THE GARAGE ON FIRE!". Her mother shrieked "SILLY SALLY YOU STUPID BITCH! JUST WAIT TILL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME!". Sill Sally just laughed and she laughed...... .... cause she knew her father was in the GARAGE! -------------- Two aggies rented a boat and took it out on the lake to do a little fishing. After trying a couple of places, they finally got lucky and started pulling 'em in left and right. Aggie 1 says to Aggie 2; "Vern, take this here paint and go down and mark this spot so we can find it again tomorrow!" Aggie 2 obliges, and after a moment he emerges from the water. Aggie 1 asks "Did you mark it?" Aggie 2 replys, "Yep, I made a great big X, right on the bottom of the boat." Aggie 1 screams" The bottom of the boat?!!!! You dumbass!!! What if we don't get the same boat tomorrow!???" -------------- A man needs to take a dump real bad, while walking down a posh neighborhood. He sees a large clump of bushes nearby, and does his business in there. Upon returning, however, he sees a rich lady getting out of the back of a large limosine. The woman nonchalantly says,"You may find this strange, but I have not been with a man in many years. Would you mind taking down your pants?" The man, obviously embarrassed, thinks for a moment, and decides to give this old lady a thrill. The woman says, "Oh my, may I touch one of your testicles?" and the man says, "sure, why not?" The woman fondles one for a moment and says, "May I touch the other one?" The man agrees. The woman grabs both testicles and bangs them together as fast and as hard as she can, screaming,"DON'T you ever do that in my yard ever again!!!" -------------- A girl is wearing a real tight dress, and carrying a bunch of packages as she tries to get on a bus. She can't get up the step, so she reaches behind and drops the zipper on her skirt a little, tries again and still can't make it, so she drops her skirt zipper a bit lower. Still no luck, she reaches back and drops her skirt zipper a bunch. The guy behind her gooses her, picks her up, carries her on the bus, pays both fares, sets her down, and kisses her left breast. The girls slaps him, and the guy says "Honey, after you pulled my zipper down the third time, I figured were were friends..." ------------------- What do you get when you cross a rooster with a phone pole? A 40 foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone