***************************************** ** -------> LEGAL HIGHS! <------- ** ** IN OTHER WORDS,HOW TO GET WASTED ** WITHOUT PHEAR OF THE PHUZZ... ** ** ** DEVIOUSLY CONCIEVED BY ** ** >< HACK SABBATH >< ** ** ON 3/10/88 ** ANARCHY REIGNS! ***************************************** WHY DID I TYPE THIS UP,YOU MAY ASK. WELL FUCK...I WAS STONED! HEHE IN THE IMORTAL WORDS OF BOB DYLAN "EVERYBODY MUST GET STONED." EVER FOUND YOURSELF IN THE FUCKED SITUATION WHERE YOU WANNA GET HIGH,BUT YOU AIN'T GOT ANY BUDZ OR YOU'RE FRESH OUTA BREWSKIS? SURE YA HAVE! WELL WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM THIS STUPID PHILE AND A LITTLE SNOOPING AROUND THE HOUSE YOU TOO CAN GET HIGH,LEGALLY! ALL THE BULLSHIT FOUND IN THIS PHILE CAN AND WILL GET YOU FUCKED UP IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. WEATHER ITS A "GOOD" HIGH IS NOT CERTAIN. BUT SOME OF THE SHIT MENTIONED WILL HAVE MIND-BENDING RESULTS. IF YOU'RE HARD UP OR STUPID ENOUGH TO TRY THESE,GO FOR IT! JUST DONT FREAK OUT AND GO ON ONE OF THOSE REVENGE TRIPS! I DO NOT TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS! OK,ENUFF OF THIS SHIT,LETS PARTY! A) NUTMEG YES! NUTMEG CONTAINS A PSYCHEDELIC SUBSTANCE. IT'S ONE OF THE MAIN INGRED- IENTS IN MDMA,OR MORE COMMONLY KNOWN AS XTC. TAKE 1 OR 2+ TEASPOONS(OR TABLESPOONS!!) OF FRESHLY GROUND NUTMEG,AND IF YOURE LUCKY,WITHIN 2 HOURS YOU'LL BE OFF ON AN INTERESTING TRIP IF SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE TRIP. IF YOU'RE UNLUCKY THEN YOU MAY EXPERIENCE THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS:RAPID HEARTBEAT,HEADACHE, DIZZINESS AND YOU'LL PROBABLY PUKE! FUCKIN' A! SO THE NEXT CHRISTMAS WHEN YOUR MOM IS MAKING EGGNOG,GRAB THE WHOLE DAMN CAN OF NUTMEG AND GET WASTED! HAHAHA THE ABOVE ALSO APPLIES TO MACE. BOTH OF THESE SPICES ARE DEFINATLY A LAST RESORT... B) MORNING GLORY SEEDS THESE LITTLE FUCKERS WERE POPULAR BACK IN THE 60'S FOR A CHEAP LEGAL HIGH. INTERESTED? READ ON... THE SEEDS OF THIS COMMON FLOWERING VINE CONTAIN A SUBSTANCE VERY SIMILAR TO LSD. TAKE ABOUT A HUNDRED SEEDS FOR A STARTER,PICKING THE PEARLY GATES OR HEAVENLY BLUE VARIETY (ORDER WHOLESALE FROM A LARGE SEED COMPANY), WHICH HAVE NOT BEEN SPRAYED WITH NOXIOUS CHEMICALS THAT ARE MEANT TO DISCOURAGE THIS PRACTICE. MASH THE SEEDS AND SOAK THE PULP IN WARM WATER FOR UP TO 8 HOURS. STRAIN THE LIQUID THROUGH A CLOTH AND GUZZLE DOWN THE WATER. ASIDE FROM ALMOST CERTAIN NAUSEA, THIS WILL BE THE EQUIVALENT TO A LOW DOSE OF ACID. TRIP! TIME TO WATCH TRAILS COME'N OFF OF THE VIDEO GAMES YOU ARE PLAYING. C) HELIOTROPE MAKE A TEA BY BOILING A SMALL HANDFUL OF ROOTS AND RHYSOMES FOR A FEW MINUTES OR BOIL AWAY THE WATER, SCOOP UP THE RESIDUE, STUFF IT INTO A GELATIN CAPSULE AND SWALLOW IT. YOU WILL HAVE TAKEN A POWERFUL "ORGANIC" TRANQUILIZER CALLED VALERIC ACID. JELL OUT DUDE... D) LETTUCE THE WILD LETTUCE IS FULL OF A CHEMICAL SIMILAR TO OPIUM AND WHICH WAS ONCE USED MEDICALLY AS AN OPIATE SUB- STIUTE. STORE-BOUGHT LETTUCE CONTAINS THIS CHEMICAL IN THE ROOTS AND BITTER HEART. TAKE THE WHOLE WILD LETTUCE OR THE ROOTS AND HEART OF YOUR GROCER'S BEST AND RUN IT THROUGH AN ELECTRIC VEGITABLE JUICER. KEEP FEEDING IN THE LETTUCE UNTIL YOU HAVE ABOUT A PINT OF LIQUID, THEN POUR IT IN A GLASS BOWL AND LET IT EVAPORATE UNDER A HEAT LAMP OR THE SUN. SCRAPE UP THE RESIDUE AND PUT A PINCH IN A PIPE. SMOKE IT WITH- OUT LETTING THE FLAME TOUCH THE RESIDUE ---MUCH THE SAME AS YOU WOULD SMOKE OPIUM ITSELF. PRETEND YOU'RE SITTIN IN A CHINESE OPIUM DEN AND GET FUCKIN HIGH! E) HOPS BREW ONE OUNCE OF A FEMALE HOPS ANT IN A PINT OF BOILING WATER, ALLOW TO STAND FOR A FEW HOURS, STRAIN AND HAVE A FEW SPOONFULS AT A TIME. IT IS A CALMING SEDATIVE. F) CATNIP ALL US CATS AND KITTENS CAN GET HIGH WITH IT TOO. SMOKE IT LIKE POT. IT MAY TAKE A LONG TIME, BUT YOU'LL FEEL A SLIGHT BUZZ EVENTUALLY. SOME SAY IT'S STRONGER WHEN MIXED WITH TOBACCO. FUCK WHO KNOWS?!? G) BANANA SKINS THIS IS A PHUNNY AND EFFECTIVE HIPPY HOAX THAT HAD PATRIOTIC GREEN- GROWERS PUBLICLY BANNING BANANAS FROM THEIR STORES IN THE 60'S. DON'T TRY IT UNLESS YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO(SORTA LIKE THE PHILE). SCRAPE OFF THE WHITE PULP FROM THE INSIDE OF THE SKINS, ADD WATER, AND BOIL DOWN TO A GUMMY MUSH. DRY THE MUSH IN A LOW OVEN AND RUB IT INTO POWDER. TECHNICALLY THERE'S SOMETHING IN THERE WHICH COULD GET YOU HIGH, AND IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN IT,THERE YOU GO! SMOKE IT IN A PIPE. "THEY CALL IT MELLOW YELLOW" H) PEANUT PAPERS THIS IS GOTTA BE TOTAL BULLSHIT! BUT TRY IT ANYWAYS WHILE YOURE WAITING FOR THE BANANA PEALS TO DRY. TAKE THE PAPERS OFF OF THOSE RAW PEANUTS,YOU KNOW THE BROWN ONES THAT GET STUCK IN YOUR MOUTH. ROLL UP IN A JOINT AND SMOKE! I) SEASICKNESS PILLS LOOK OUT! YEAH IF YOU PURPOSELY O.D.(OVERDOSE) ON THEM YOU WILL BE SENTINTO OBLIVION FOR ABOUT 8 OR SO HOURS. WATCH THE WALLS MELT AND FALL OVER ALOT AND MAYBE BARF. PHUN! J) PEYOTE WELL IT IS ILLEGAL UNLESS YOU BELONG TO THE NATIVE AMERICAN CHURCH. YEP THEY FRY OUT ALL THE TIME! REMEMBER THE DON JUAN TRILOGY BY CARLOS CASTANEDA? ACTUALLY YOU COULD GO OUT AND FRY WITH THEM FOR FREE,BUT I GUARANTY YOU A WILD TRIP!!! K) LIQUID PAPER THIS SHIT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND IF INHALED. I TOTALLY ADVISE YOU NOT TO TRY THIS SHIT! AS A MATER OF FACT MOST ANYTHING THAT SMELLS OF CHEMICALS WILL FUCK YOU UP! GASOLINE,CLEANERS,SPRAY PAINT,LUBRICANTS,LIGHTER FLUID,LACQUER, KEROSENE,BENZENE,CARBON TETRACHLORIDE, AND THE EVER POPULAR MODEL AIRPLANE GLUE. AVOID ALL THIS CRAP,ITS REALLY DANGEROUS. L) PINEAL GLAND THE EXTRACTED PINEAL GLAND FROM A LIVE HUMAN BODY IF CHEWED WILL TOTALLY ERADICATE YOUR MIND FOR ABOUT 12 HOURS OR SO. OR IF THE EXTRACTED PURE ADREN- ACROME IS TAKIN IT IS POSSIBLE TO GET HIGH. MAYBE TOO FAR OUT THERE. WHILE ITS ILLEGAL TO TAKE A LIVE PINEAL GLAND FROM A LIVE PERSON(THATS STEALING!) THE GLAND PROBABLY ISNT ILLEGAL TO HAVE. WHO CARES? --------------------------------------- WELL THATS IT FOR NOW, EXPERIMENT, AND MOST OF ALL HAVE PHUN! JUST REMEMBER THIS: "A FRIEND WITH WEED IS A FRIEND INDEED" AND REMEMBER THIS: "KEED SPILLS,PILL SKEEDS,SKILL PEEDS..." AND REMEMBER THIS: "IM NOT AS THINK AS YOU STONED I AM!" LATER DAZE... ][ACK SABBATH (C) '88 THE PARTY ANIMALS AND THE PHABULOUS PHURRY PHREAK BROTHERS ]